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posted by awesomeblossom1
Here's some of my fave "I wasnt that drunk" jokes hope anda like :)
"I wasn't that drunk"
"You saw a ginger girl eating blueberries and screamed 'No Foxface! Not the berries!'"
"You ran into Walmart and when anda heard someone talking on the intercom, anda fell to your knees and said, 'God has spoken!'"
"You grabbed my parakeet, threw it at my sisters piggy bank and yelled, 'ANGRY BIRDS!!!!!'"
"You told me to give anda a ride halaman awal and the part was at your house"
"You asked your girlfriend if she was single"
"You gave a midget a jamur and yelled 'GROW MARIO GROW!!!'"
"You were cutting open pineapples...
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Please note that these are all my opinion so some of these may perhaps not be to everyone's tastes but there we are. Also these aren't in any particular order - it would take forever to put them all in an order lol. I won't bore anda with too much menulis - surely you're just after the pictures right? :) Oh and lastly for the actors I've only put my favourite film/tv tampil that they've been in - it's not that I'm being ignorant about their other work

1.
Name: Kris Lemche (Actor)
From: Final Destination 3
Character: Ian McKinley
Attraction: His gothy style in this film - haven't seen him in anything...
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posted by xxemogirl101xx
For people that hate stereotypes.


1. I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic

2. I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

3. I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

4. I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.

5. I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.

6. I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

7. I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

8. I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

9. I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

10. I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

11. I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

12. I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.

13. I'm an ATHEIEST, so I WILL go to hell

14. I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST have no values...
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1. Turn to a stranger and sing a acak song
2. When your on a floor someone wants to get off on make sure they don't get off
3. Say in a new jersey accent "I told my daughter not to give the dog coffee. What does she do? She gives the dog coffee! Now i've got a dead dog! A dumb daughter! And no coffee!"
4. If your with a friend, and there are lebih people start a annoying conversation. (I did this one time and all the people in the elevator turned to me, someone even berkata shut up XD)
5. Pretend your driving in a car, and make motor sounds
6. Whisper into a strangers ear "I am a parol officer! Respect...
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When having a nightmare and anda suddenly realized you're dreaming, try not to wake up. Try to explore your dreams...this is cool because you're getting to know that all of those things around anda are made oleh your brain which anda sometimes think is completely empty... Also if anda know you're dreaming, anda can control your dream and anda will find it very cool because when you're conscious in your dream, everything is in 3D form. So here are some cool and fun things to do when anda suddenly realized you're dreaming...

1. Try to think of your favorit celebrity. Call out his/her name..like this,"When...
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FHM Magazine released a daftar a few years back of the 50 worst t.v. characters of all time. I think it mostly pertains to sitcoms. So what do anda all think? Agree? Disagree? Think they are missing people atau that any of these people shouldn't be on the list?

50. Ross Gellar - Friends
49. Wilbur Post - Mister Ed
48. Janet Wood - Three's Company
47. Dwayne Wayne - A Different World
46. Jimmy Glick - Primetime Glick
45. The Professor - Gilligan's Island
44. Gomer Pyle - Gomer Pyle, U.S.M.C.
43. Paul Shaffer - Late tampil With David Letterman
42. Edna Garrett - The Facts of Life
41. Jessie Spano - Saved oleh The...
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posted by vlad_todd_fan
This is A TRUE STORY AND IF anda DON'T PASS THIS ON anda DON'T HAVE A SOUL!!!

My name is Chris,
I am three,
My eyes are swollen..
I cannot see.

I must be stupid,
I must be bad,
What else could have made,
My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better,
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy,
Would still want to hug me.

I can't do a wrong,
I can't speak at all,
Or else I'm locked up,
All hari long.

When I'm awake,
I'm all alone,
The house is dark,
My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come home,
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll just get,
One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car,
My daddy is back,
From Charlie's bar

I hear...
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posted by reb1009
Insanely stupid class fun - Funny school pranks anda should (not) try in class for a laugh :)

Bring some buku to class and read them instead of paying attention atau doing any work.

2Walk around class begging for spare change.

Chew on your arm until someone notices.

Change seats every time the teacher turns his/her back. After the teacher explains something, laugh really loud and say "Oh, now I get it!"

Lick yourself clean like a cat does.

After the teacher has explained something, say "Quite right, old bean" in the typical old english style.

Sing your pertanyaan to the class.

When the teacher...
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posted by 7things
How can anda get four suits for a dollar?
Buy a deck of cards.

How do dinosaurus pay their bills?
With Tyrannosaurus checks.

What do anda call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?
Tyrannosaurus wrecks.

What do anda call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?
Tyrannosaurus Tex.

How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?
They had reservations.

How do anda make a hot dog stand?
Steal its chair.

How do anda make an egg laugh?
Tell it a yolk.

How do anda prevent a Summer cold?
Catch it in the Winter!

How does a pig go to hospital?
In a hambulance.

If a long dress is evening...
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50 Fun things to do in a Grocery Store

1. Ask the produce manager if he happens to have any fresh Oompah Loompah fruit.

2. While holding a cantaloupe directly in front of your chest, squeeze it and smile dreamily.

3. Every time anda turn the corner with your shopping cart, shout “Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!”

4. Go up to the manager and tell him atau her that you’ve lost your mommy.

5. While waiting in line at the checkout, juggle some lemons.

6. Tiptoe stealthily up and down the aisles – and around corners – with a magnifying glass.

7. While scratching frantically, ask the manager if he atau she has anything...
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Ways to annoy people in Wal-Mart



Hilarious Ways to be annoying!















"Accidentally" get stuck in one of the Frozen food doors. Give people strange looks and see if anyone helps anda out.
Add really funny things to other peoples’ carts and watch them pay for it and see if they notice.
Around natal time, start caroling. Ask for money from the listeners.
As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"
Ask if anda can buy a shopping cart.
Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
Ask Someone if they know were they sell little babies!...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
Solve the puzzles oleh saying them out loud, over and over, faster and faster, repeating the phrase, until anda "hear" the answer.

Example: LAWN SAND JEALOUS (place) Answer: Los Angeles

1. SHOCK CUSSED TOE (person)

2. SAND TACKLE LAWS (fictional character)

3. MY GULCH HOARD UN (person)

4. MOW BEAD HICK (book)

5. TALL MISCHIEF HER SUN (person)

6. CHICK HE TUB AN AN US (product)

7. THOUGH TIGHT AN HICK (thing)

8. AISLE OH VIEW (phrase)

9. TUB RAID HEAP HUNCH (TV show)

10. CARESS TROUGHER CLUMP US (person)

11. DOCKED mobil jenazah, hearse WHOSE (person)

12. THUMB ILL KEY WAKE OWL LICKS HE (place)

13. AGE ANT HUB BLOWS HEAVEN...
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Pray to the pins, leave sacrifices
Wear golf shoes.
Every time anda throw exclaim "TAKE THAT, anda JERKS!" Continue this behavior until forcefully thrown out.
When ever a strike "X" appears on the screen, start yelling about how this is a Black harimau kumbang, panther conspiracy.
Explain to the owner how your game is "All sorts of messed up" due to plate tectonics, then lose him in lingo. Demand compensation.
Make lewd and graphic references to your "ball". Works well on Senior Ladies night
Play bocci with extra lane balls
Try to juggle the balls, when anda drop them, start screaming about plate tectonics again....
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posted by Mallory101
1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on atau off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to tampil the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.

3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of anda just shut UP!"

4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.

5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.

6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.

7. Shave.

8. Crack open your tas kantor, tas atau purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"

9. Offer name tag to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours...
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posted by someone_save_me
These are just some, lebih will probably be added later.

I hate:
-Animal abusers
-Child abusers
-Butthurt moralfags (If anda get mad at me saying moralfags, well then, anda must be new here. I'm not homophobic.)
-3/4 the mainstream crap on the radio
-Jersey Shore
-Homophobes
-People who don't thank anda when anda open a door for them
-Toddlers and Tiaras
-People who are always snooPING AS usual I see. /shot so fuckin' hard
-Fuckers who judge people oleh their appearance
-When my computer breaks down
-Fangirls who get mad at if anda aren't borderline insanely obsessed with the same thing they are (Go on the Michael...
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GET READY TO GET ANNOYED...ALL METHODS FOOL PROOFED oleh YOURS TRULY!! :)
ANNOYING THINGS 2 DO UR FRNDS!
1. Keep poking them until they scream in annoyance
2. Pull an Annoying jeruk, orange on them. Keep saying, "Hey,(insert name) (insert name)," as long as anda want. Really effective!
3. Keep shouting swear words randomly. Like shout out, "Shit!" when they're eating pizza atau something. :)
4. Sneeze, HARD, whenever they're around. Continue again and again and again and again and again!
5. Keep repeating, "What? What? What?" whenever they ask a question.
6. Keep calling them ELEGANT names, like if you're friend...
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posted by Thecharliejay
Make Him Addicted To YouSay These “Secret” Words To Make Him Fall Madly In cinta With You
HaveTheRelationshipYouWant.com/Love
Ask around, atau if you're shy, ask a good friend to help (find out if he likes you, atau is dropping hints).If anda catch him staring at you, look at him in the eyes and try to hold contact for a few seconds. If he keeps contact, anda know he likes anda back. If he turns away, it could mean he likes anda and is shy. (Alternatively, it could mean your kemeja tag is hanging out - beware, as there are multiple reasons people stare at each other.)If a guy likes you, he tends to...
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FAKE FRIENDS: Never ask for food
REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason anda have no food.

FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs.
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents oleh their first names.

FAKE FRIENDS: Bail anda out of jail and tell anda what anda did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Would be sittin selanjutnya to anda sayin "Dang...... that was fun!"

FAKE FRIENDS: Have never seen anda cry.
REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you.

FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your stuff so long they forget its yours.

FAKE FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Could write a book about...
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Okay, she's kinda getting lebih famous oleh the minute. She has her own show, her own song, and she even performed at the Disneyland natal hari Parade. But honestly, in MY opinion, I don't like her one bit.

I'm sorry if anda like her cuz I kinda don't. Just now I expressed my opinon about her on Tumblr and some 12-year-old went apesh*t on me. So don't hate me guys, but I REALLY don't like her. If anda ask me, behind her fame is a lot of money. Think about it. Auditions, professional photos, bernyanyi lessons, etc... hundreds of dollars. And who paid for it? Certainly not her. Her parents. Tens of...
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Hi everyone!

This artikel will rank the artis I think are most attractive from least to best. And obviously this is just my opinion :)

Female:

10. Bae Suzy

One of the most beautiful K-pop idols. She looks so graceful and sophisticated yet cute at the same time.




9. Gracie Gold

The Olympic emas medalist for figure skating a while back in 2014. Her smile is just adorable :) I want it. And her makeup is awesome; she looks so cute.



8. Elizabeth Taylor

Those eyelashes, those ungu eyes, that face, that figure . . . she was just gorgeous overall.



7. Audrey Hepburn

My favorit classic...
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