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posted by ilovepenguins
1) If cinta is blind, then why is there lingerie?
2) Why are they called "apartments" if they are all connected?
3) Should anda believe a chronic liar if he admits that he is a chronic liar?
4) Did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons?
5) Why is it that anjing cinta to hang their head out of the car window, but will get mad at anda if anda blow in their face?
6) If all the world is a stage, where is the audience?
7) If a pohon falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?
8) If pro is the opposite of con, then wouldn't congress be the opposite of progress?
9) If the segi lima, pentagon were run oleh women, would missiles be shaped differently?
10) How do anda plan a surprise birthday party for a psychic?
11) If your kursi can become a floatation device, why can't the airplane become a boat?
12) Isn't a "free gift" redundant?
13) Why do people say it's a nice hari in summer but complain it's way too hot?
13) If a Smurf is choking what color does he turn?
14) Many builders refuse to have a 13th floor. Why aren't book publishers afraid to have a Chapter 11?
15) Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?
16) Why is a completed building still called a "building" since it's already built?
17) Why sterilize the equipment used to administer a lethal injection?
18) How can there be self-help groups?
19) What was the best thing before they invented sliced bread?
20) Why is that domba don't shrink when it rains?
21) If a 24 jam convenience store is open 24 hours per day, 365 days per year, why are there locks on the doors?
22) Why does the term "wind up" mean both start and end?
23) If the word for lebih than one angsa is geese, then why aren't groups of moose called meese?
24) Did anda know that Evian spelled backwards is naïve?
25) If zaitun oil comes from smashed olives, how do they make baby oil?
26) If it is true that practice makes perfect, and also true that nobody is perfect, why bother practicing?
27) Are vegetarians allowed to eat animal crackers?
28) How do anda know if asam cream has expired?
29) Why are there no Preparations A-G?
30) Do caskets come with a lifetime warranty?
31) Why are they called marbles if they are made from glass?
32) Ever notice that people who talk to God are saying prayers, but those that God talks to are crazy?
33) Why do people insist on stating things that "go without saying"?
34) Does the military have any misguided missiles?
35) Are all shifts at the cemetery considered graveyard shifts?
36) Do modern hari witches run spell check before they cast their spells?
37) Do putri duyung wear algebras?
38) How can there be civil war?
39) Do astronauts with sweaty feet get "missile toe"?
40) If people have nightmares, what do kuda call their scary dreams?
41) Do anda get to keep the time anda save?
42) If time heals all wounds, then explain belly buttons.
43) Why do bars have parking lots if it is illegal to drink and drive?
44) How do they treat people who become addicted to therapy?
45) Why do they call it "rush hour" when the traffic is so slow?
46) If it is illegal to shoot them, why do they call it "tourist season"?
47) Why aren't moustaches called "mouthbrows"?
48) Why does the sun make our hair light and our skin dark?
49) Why does menit nasi, beras have to cook for 15 minutes?
50) Why aren't wiseguy and wiseman the same thing?
51) How do anda slam revolving doors?
52) If anda put food colouring in a potato seed will the potato grow purple?
53) If an jeruk, orange is jeruk, orange and called an orange, why is a bannana yellow and not called a yellow?
posted by Thecharliejay
vampire From Around the World


By Stephanie Moore

A vampire is a blood-sucking, undead thing of the night that comes after people in their nightmares. Many cultures have vampire myths. In the past, folklore was a means of explaining what people didn’t understand. Widespread vampire mythology reflects the uncertainty about death that we all face.

People in the past had little understanding of the decomposition process.If an exhumed body looked “plump”, how did they know it was the natural result of gases in the body? To them, blood leaking from a corpse’s mouth meant that the dear departed...
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From kupu-kupu to praying everyone was okay.I ran to the back room where Ben was.John ran after me.
I saw Ben pointing a gun at a aunt of John's.I grabbed my shoe and threw it at the gun.It slid out of his hand.John's aunt ran away.Ben starred at me.Then,slowly got out another gun.He kept looking at me with a confused look.I looked at John,then,quivering,I knew I had to do something.
"Blondie,Leave.NOW."Ben demanded.John fled,I hope he was bringing help!"Well,well,well.Nanette.I told I'd get you.You thought I'd lie?"He asked."N-n-n..."I stuttered and just shoke my head.This,wasn't the end!I...
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The most acak thing ever made - me and my friend talking on facebook chat. Brace yourself for an undescribable dose of epicness.

H - Hattress
E - Her Friend Emily

H: Why do anda call me and not say anything?
Second time in a row?

E: When did I call you?
Probably my sister was playing.

H: That explains a lot.
Many people call me oleh accident because I'm first on their contacts list. (my name starts with a)

E: Was she bernyanyi "Hallelujah"?

H: Nope.
There were only some creaks
and kind of a distant scream
I thought that maybe you're being murdered.

E: Because we've got a torture chamber in our basement, but...
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posted by sakurahanazono
1.)When your teacher asks any pertanyaan say "Why does my kucing breath smell like cat food?"

2.) When the teacher is membaca out facts say "Lies! Lies!" atau "Fibs brake baby Jesus' ribs!"

3.) Pretend to cough every time your teacher starts to talk.

4.) Throw your pencil case at the teacher and shout "Go pikachu!"

5.) When your teacher asks why anda didn't do your homework say " anda can't tell me off for something I didn't do!"

6.) Jump on puncak, atas of the meja and shout "Spidey powers activate" while imitating spiderman.

7.) When the teacher asks anda to answer a pertanyaan say "The brain anda are trying to reach...
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They ran to the pohon house.Maybelle was confused,this place was so much bigger.Did it ever end?What?Her land was small."Here!Go in here!I'll go get food!"Sarah said,and ran."Maybelle.How old are you?"Alicia asked."16"She said."DANG IT!GOTTA WAIT 6 YEARS."Henry yelled."Now I ask anda a question.Does your land...end?"Maybelle asked."Course it does!Yours doesn't?"Alicia asked."Nope!We live forever!Along as Ariana doesn't kill us."Maybelle said."Here!"Sarah said.Running with a bag of Chips,three cans of pop,And a cereal box."This should last anda the night."Sarah said."You got the Stone?"Sarah asked....
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Sarah couldn't sleep,when she did,she had nightmares!.In her nightmare she was with Maybelle.Running.Thinking that lady would catch us.Then,She popped out of the ground."HA!"She yelled.Sarah ran to the door."MAYBELLE!"Sarah screeched.The lady grew taller,Larger.She soon became a giant.She had Maybelle in her hand."What do anda want from me,Ariana?"Maybelle asked."What is wrong with you!"I grabbed two sticks and stabbed Ariana."OW!STOP!"Ariana picked me up in her other hand."Ah!"Sarah woke up.She brushed her bangs back.
---------------------------------------------------
The three friends came...
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"Do anda hear that?"Alicia asked."What?"Henry and Sarah asked."That,that,that sound.It's like."Alicia banged the floor."No.I don't hear anything."Said Sarah."Come here."Alicia said.
They got out.
Alicia beckoned them.
"There!It's getting louder!"
The banging continued.
Alicia found herself in the woods.
She stopped.
Henry and Sarah caught up to her.
Alicia covered her mouth.
"What.Is.I-i-it?"Alicia asked.
Down the steep hill.Was a door the door was buried in the ground.under leaves.
The three friends stepped down.The noise grew louder.Henry and Sarah could hear it now.
Alicia was down first.She saw a keyhole.Alicia looked for the key.
"ALICIA!"Sarah said.
Alicia looked down,stopped her foot from going down,And backed up.A blood puddle.
"Oh my go-"
"The key!It's in the blood!"Henry said.
"Ew!I'm not picking it up!"Alicia said.
Sarah looked around and pushed Henry forward.
Henry picked up the key,And put it in the keyhole...
It was Friday,exactly when Molly got halaman awal she went to bed."UGH!So tired!Stupid school."She berkata laying down."Molly!I need anda to fill up the fridge with water bottles!"Mom yelled."MOM!I JUST LAID DOWN!"She shouted."I don't care!Now come on!"Mom demanded,even louder."FINE!!!"Molly's voice cut through the air.Molly stomped in there."Here!Get to work!"Mom said,handing Molly a bottle of water."Fine!"Molly berkata watching her mom walk off."Make your bed...Fill up the fridge...Clean the walls."Molly mumbled.Then."Man.Now I want water."Molly picked a bottle and opened the top.But a little spilled,Molly...
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1. Ask people to be your fan. Seriously, if you're gonna do that, anda might as well tell everybody you're a whore.

2. Troll. If anda troll, anda will be banned in 10 detik flat and nobody will feel sorry for anda when anda whine about your old account being banned.

3. Speak 1337. if u t4lk li3k d3s, nobody will take anda seriously.

4. Talk trash about Hetalia. I don't like Hetalia, but I don't talk trash about it. The fangirls will rape anda with hate if anda say rude things.

5. Be anything like dudelol17.
Taylor:*Wakes up*LIZZIE!*panting*
Lizzie:Taylor!Taylor,Calm down.
Taylor's P.O.V:
I looked around and saw Charm,Amber,Amy,and Lizzie.
Taylor:What?Wait what happened??
Amy:You were outside,Had scratches on your arm,so we drove anda to the hospital.
I looked at my arm,A scratch ran down my arm,My eyes got huge.
Lizzie:It's okay!You're okay!
Then Amber turned on the TV.
Lady on news:Today Johnathan Jonesmen was arrested for murdering his wife.And today,his 3 daughters are in a orphanage.And his oldest daughter,Taylor is in the hospital.
I started to get dizzy.I almost dozed off when.
Lizzie:Taylor,Here *hand a bracelet*
The Bracelet had five rhinestones, and 5 charms.One had a little girl dancing,The detik one was a key,The third one had a jantung lock,The fourth one had a lock,The fifth one had Locket,I opened it up.I saw a foto of Me and Lizzie.
posted by TwilightGirl312
I have seen a lot of cyberbullying before, but it seems to be getting much worse and needs to end. The other hari I was on youtube when I saw an arguement where one person was clearly bullying the other. I had watched a video that had all these clips from different film put together while "Fireflies" oleh Owl City played in the background. After it was over, I looked at the komentar and I was very upset oleh this arguement. I'm not going to give the actual usernames atau real names of the people involved, but let's just call them "Annie" and "Jessica". I apologize in advance if you're membaca this...
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There once lived a 10 tahun old girl named,Scarlett.
Her family lived in a Big,HUGE,Mansion.
S:Mom!!!PLEASE!!!!!!!
M:If I say Fine,will anda stop?
S:YES!!!
M:Yes.
S:(Hugs mom)THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!WOO HO!!
Scarlett ran up to call her 3 friends,Nancy,Penny,and Chloe.
S:(Calls)SHE berkata YES!!!
Then her brother,Ethan,Came in,holding a bag of chips.
E:SHUT UP,SCARLETT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
S:SHHHHUUUUTT UUUUPPP!!!
Then he stomped out.
M:Scarlett!I just remembered!I have to work tomorrow!
S:So?We're responsible,Mom!Besides,(mumbles)Ethan...is....(gulp,pretends to barf)Responsible.
M:Um...I don't know
S:Don't make me say it...AGAIN!
M:Fine!!But anda have to help me with the groceries!
S:(Makes face)Fine!Last deal!
M:Come on!
--------------------------------------------------
TO BE CONTINUED!
My name is Skeeter,Skeeter Johnson.I live in Mississippi with my mother,Jenna,And my father,Chris.My dream is to be a author.Today I went to my Friend's house for her charity.Her name is,Maybelle.
March,17,1961,
Maybelle:Skeeter!!I'm so glad anda made it!
Skeeter:Maybelle!I can't believe it!I haven't seen anda in a month!
That moment I wondered what the maids were saying
Elie:I'm gonna have to kill that Maybelle!
Faith:I know how anda feel,honey.
Elie:I never wanted this job,but I need money.
Skeeter:So girls,today I think I'm gonna try to get a job!
Joy:Oh?What kind of job do anda want?
Skeeter:A author!...
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posted by adaug
Sam is 7 years old,has brown hair,And is a girl,This Christmas,her school is doing something where kids can buy stuff for their families,For Christmas,"So what are anda gonna get?"Sam's friend,Chloe,asked."I don't know,It's a week away though."Sam said."Well,I hope there will be earrings!My mom goes crazy over those!"Chloe said.
"Well,Bye Chloe!My rides here!See anda tomorrow!"Sam berkata as she ran to her car."Hey Mom,Guess what?" "What?"Her mom asked."In a week,All the students are gonna be able to buy stuff for their families for Christmas!!"Sam excitedly told her mom."Really?
Isn't Santa gonna...
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(Continued!)
The selanjutnya hari I went shopping to get stuff for my cousins!It was a big mall!As I walked to the Clothes Aisle,a familiar figure was looking at skirts."Kyha?What are anda doing here!?"Jade asked.
"Oh!I'm always with anda when something bad happens!"Kyha answered."Well nothing bad is gonna happen!"Jade protested.To her surprise,There was a BOOM!"DUCK!"Kyha said.Jade slammed to the floor,
there wasn't one shot,there was four!BOOM!BOOM!BOOM!
"IS EVERYONE OKAY?"The mall manager asked."YES!"Everyone answered."So why are anda still here?And why are people looking at me like a wacko?"
Jade asked."Because,No...
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My Life:
I'm 18 years old,Blond hair,My name is Jade,my grandparents are dead(duh!!!)My dad was divorced!My mom really only cares about my baby brother,Matthew,and when I ask if she loves me...Well...This is what I get:
"Mom.Do anda cinta me?" "That's nice dear,Hey can anda bring me some Medicine??"Mom would ALWAYS answer LIKE THAT!Good thing I'm gonna celebrate natal With my Cousin!So what if I didn't tell her!I'm still going!Already Booked a plane!Anyways!After the aftermath of My mom and her Head ache!I always went to my friend,Charlotte's apartment.Yeah!I did tonight,not much happening there.I...
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Teacher:Okay Suzi go to the map and find North America.
Suzi:Right here!
Teacher:Good job!Now Bobby,who discovered America?
Bobby:Suzi Did!
god I cracked up today!
------------------------------------------------
Speaking of today!My class gotta go to our 'BOOK BUDDIES' Class room and help make gingerbread houses!My book buddy's name was Addy,(mine is Abby!)Anyways!It was like...SPRINKLE CITY!!If anda were an ant,You would drown in sprinkles!!!!!!!!!GOD
My friend ,Sam,Was selanjutnya to me...and she had like 50 spaz attacks!She was super hyped up!!!!Wow!They really shouldn't Put permen in front of her!And I just can't stand the sprinkles!!!!God!I almost devoured the icing!There was like M&Ms,Gummy Drops,
permen Canes,Nerds(one girl was like' Oh my god i cinta these!),a lot lebih too!Plus my friend Sam made a story called 'The Black Dragons' Kinda like The girl with the dragon tattoo!Listening to Taylor Swift's"Permanent marker"!Love it!

BYE GUTS AND GURLS!
"Okay Josie,try Natalie Marlene's house,you berkata she was always saying they would kill her cause she spread s rumor,Right?"Asked Detective Joe."Yeah!Thanks again Joe!"Josie berkata as she grabbed her keys.--------------------------------------------
Josie Knocked on Natalie's door."Who IS IT?"Natalie asked."FBI OPEN THE DOOR!OR I'LL BUST IT OPEN!"Josie said.Natalie opened the door."Josie!!Did anda hear 'bout Kate?"Natalie asked.
"That's why I'm here Natalie!I Think anda killed her cause anda always berkata anda would kill her!!!"Josie Said."I DIDN'T MEAN IT LITERARY!!!I don't know where she lives!"Natalie...
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Sam:COME ON!!!
Emma:Yeah!!Come on do it!
Me:*Guilty*uh!!Oh what the jack crap FINE!!!
Both:YES!!*Hugs me*Abby!!!Really?!!?!?!
Me:What do I have to lose?
Emma:That's the spirit?
Sam:What will anda sing??TELL ME!!
Me:*Whispers*
Sam:Really!That is the best song!
Emma:Lets go practice!
Me:I regret this already!
I of course play keyboard,Emma played Guitar,Sam played drums,
Me:And any snide remarks from my father about your tato will be ignored,Cause my jantung is yours.
Emma:GREAT!Perfect!We are all ready!
Sam:NO!We keep practicing!Come on from the top!
Me:Elevator Buttons and Morning air,Strangers' silence makes...
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Taylor's POV:
Now,AFTER A WEEK,Me and Lizzy were best friends!
We did everything together!But Amber was taking it really hard.
Taylor:Hey!Lizzy wanna go eat lunch?
Lizzy:When they say we can!
Taylor:What?
Lizzy:They always call stations!We're Station 3
Taylor:Oh,Well when they call us do ya wanna?
Lizzy:Love to!
Amy:STATION 3!LUNCH TIME!
Taylor:Wow!What are the odds?
Lizzy:I Know right!
*Taylor and Lizzy got their trays fixed*
Lizzy:Come on!Tell me about your family!
Taylor:Fine!My mom is really nice!I was born in 1999
and Charm was born just a few months ago,And Amber was born 2007.
Lizzy:Man,it must be hard...
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