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posted by ilovepenguins
1) If cinta is blind, then why is there lingerie?
2) Why are they called "apartments" if they are all connected?
3) Should anda believe a chronic liar if he admits that he is a chronic liar?
4) Did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons?
5) Why is it that anjing cinta to hang their head out of the car window, but will get mad at anda if anda blow in their face?
6) If all the world is a stage, where is the audience?
7) If a pohon falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?
8) If pro is the opposite of con, then wouldn't congress be the opposite of progress?
9) If the segi lima, pentagon were run oleh women, would missiles be shaped differently?
10) How do anda plan a surprise birthday party for a psychic?
11) If your kursi can become a floatation device, why can't the airplane become a boat?
12) Isn't a "free gift" redundant?
13) Why do people say it's a nice hari in summer but complain it's way too hot?
13) If a Smurf is choking what color does he turn?
14) Many builders refuse to have a 13th floor. Why aren't book publishers afraid to have a Chapter 11?
15) Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?
16) Why is a completed building still called a "building" since it's already built?
17) Why sterilize the equipment used to administer a lethal injection?
18) How can there be self-help groups?
19) What was the best thing before they invented sliced bread?
20) Why is that domba don't shrink when it rains?
21) If a 24 jam convenience store is open 24 hours per day, 365 days per year, why are there locks on the doors?
22) Why does the term "wind up" mean both start and end?
23) If the word for lebih than one angsa is geese, then why aren't groups of moose called meese?
24) Did anda know that Evian spelled backwards is naïve?
25) If zaitun oil comes from smashed olives, how do they make baby oil?
26) If it is true that practice makes perfect, and also true that nobody is perfect, why bother practicing?
27) Are vegetarians allowed to eat animal crackers?
28) How do anda know if asam cream has expired?
29) Why are there no Preparations A-G?
30) Do caskets come with a lifetime warranty?
31) Why are they called marbles if they are made from glass?
32) Ever notice that people who talk to God are saying prayers, but those that God talks to are crazy?
33) Why do people insist on stating things that "go without saying"?
34) Does the military have any misguided missiles?
35) Are all shifts at the cemetery considered graveyard shifts?
36) Do modern hari witches run spell check before they cast their spells?
37) Do putri duyung wear algebras?
38) How can there be civil war?
39) Do astronauts with sweaty feet get "missile toe"?
40) If people have nightmares, what do kuda call their scary dreams?
41) Do anda get to keep the time anda save?
42) If time heals all wounds, then explain belly buttons.
43) Why do bars have parking lots if it is illegal to drink and drive?
44) How do they treat people who become addicted to therapy?
45) Why do they call it "rush hour" when the traffic is so slow?
46) If it is illegal to shoot them, why do they call it "tourist season"?
47) Why aren't moustaches called "mouthbrows"?
48) Why does the sun make our hair light and our skin dark?
49) Why does menit nasi, beras have to cook for 15 minutes?
50) Why aren't wiseguy and wiseman the same thing?
51) How do anda slam revolving doors?
52) If anda put food colouring in a potato seed will the potato grow purple?
53) If an jeruk, orange is jeruk, orange and called an orange, why is a bannana yellow and not called a yellow?
posted by Yama
Emily had the kap, hood down today and it was quite warm. The car rushed as if it was too eager to get to the harbour. atau maybe it was just me not wanting to leave home, whichever it was I didn't like it. Emily was blabbering on about what her fiance had got her for going away, she was so excited. As far as I could make out through my thoughts is that it was a big broach with a extremly rare stone in it.
I just smiled occasionly at her and tried (failing miserably) to look excited. Emily turned around after five menit of silence,"Hon whats wrong I noticed this as soon as anda got into the car but...
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posted by vamp_grl_123
Ok so here is a bunch of acak Moments i will be writting. All are true.

I was at my locker getting ready for after lunch and my firends stopped to talk. It was Joe, Ben, Jack, Lilly, and Shelly.

Joe: Sukki, we're Lilly's man firends (not all were guys but Lily, Shelly, and me.)

Me: lol ... *thinks* HEY!

Lilly: *laughing* OMG anda needed to think?

Jack: Wow Sukki. we didn't mean you. but that was funny.

Shelly: *laughing*

Hope anda liked this ramdom moment!!!

p.s. real names not used!!!!
1 = 90% of girls dont watch family guy, robot chicken etc so don't talk about it much.

2 = tomboys will tampil lebih affection than girlie girls.

3. Some girls get frustrated when anda interrupt their video game. This rarely happens to a gu texting a girl

4. Girls don't like it when anda interrupt their convo with their friends. To them it's R.U.D.E

5. Don't tease a girl if she likes Twilight Harry Potter etc........it hurts their feelings.

6. Please, don't hit on every girl in the school if anda still have a girlfriend do anda know how much that annoys us???

7. Don't text a girl in the middle of the night. We like to get our sleep. Otherwise, she'll just keep anda up for a hour.

8. Girls like the guy that likes her to be jealous. Shell usually plan it out overnight.

9. Girls just adore attention like fat kids adore cokelat cake.

10. A girl I'll call a guy cute not hot. Shell only call him ht around her girlfriends.
added by australia-101
there's a girl. about 15. she hides her scars, with her mother's makeup. She wakes up. and she realizes, that today will never get better.

You are lebih than this. anda are bliss. anda are lebih than this. there's happiness at the end of a rainbow.
open your eyes. keep holding on. don't give up, beautiful girl. your still needed on this world.

there's this girl. she hides her food. behind her bed.
when she looks, in the mirror, she sees nothing but ugliness. her mom asks her, if she's okay. she puts on a fake smile and tries to hide the pain.


You are lebih than this. anda are bliss. anda are lebih than...
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posted by Hellowittykitty
Completely acak poetry! But that's what this site is for, right

Bold like new
Bold like old
Bold like me and my bro
Bold like the Sun
Way faster when I run

Bolder than her
Don't know who she is
She has little tiny eyes
That decorate her sin

Bolder than my mother will ever be
Bolder than my future son, who will never see me
Bolder and stronger, than Katy Perry
Bolder than that little doggy
Who has mad it through pet-adoptery

Bolder than that brave hero
Bolder than that black heart
Boldest of all
Even though I've never thrown a dart

Bolder than thus
Bolder than this
Bolder than what I'm menulis now
Dis, dat, and...
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1.always let him talk to anda about stuff he likes
2.always see what anda have in common (if anda do)
3.never wear make up around him let him see your true beauty
4.DON'T TELL HIM HOW anda FEEL AROUND HIM UNTILL HE ASKS anda OUT THIS IS A RULE!
5.ALWAYS ask pertanyaan about him like his favorit color, his favorit movie atau his favorit t.v show
6.never ever talk about your ex boyfriend they hate it (i've had experience) trust me it isn't cool
7.Always wear your favorit clothes and some cute clothes
8.let him do all the hand holding and arm gestures don't do a thing( if u don't then that will make him think your interested)
9.talk about your favorit film and songs
10.always make him happy no matter what mood he's in
thank anda for membaca i hope this helps :)
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Welcome to the block. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.

Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom Foolery: *Standing in front of a house*
Tom: Hello everypony, and welcome to another episode of On The Block.
Master Sword: Tom, anda already berkata that in the start of the last episode. Come up with something new for once.
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Like what?
Master Sword: I don't know. Anything!
Tom: Hmmm...

Three menit later, this song was playing: link

Master Sword: *Hanging off the edge of a cliff above four sharks that want to eat him* THIS...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Welcome to the block. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.

Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom Foolery: *Standing in front of a house*
Tom: Hello everypony, and welcome to another episode of On The Block.
Master Sword: I think they know it's On The Block.
Audience: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: How?
Master Sword: The judul of this artikel clearly says On The Block!
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Oh yes, it does. Today's crossover parody, Unfrozen.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: We're combining two bad film for this. Frozen, and Unfriended.
Tom:...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Welcome to the block. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.

Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom Foolery: *Standing in front of a house*
Tom: Hello, and welcome.
Master Sword: We begin with Brony Of The Month.
Tom: And no, we didn't forget to do this, like we did in the last episode.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: For May 2015, the Brony Of The bulan award goes to NocturnalMirage.
Audience: *Cheering, and clapping*
Tom: If anda were to compare this guy to a car company, he would be Ford.
Master Sword: Both are very popular.
Tom: And now, for...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Welcome to the block. And now for your hosts, Master Sword, and Tom Foolery.

Audience: *Cheering, clapping, and whistling*
Master Sword & Tom: *Standing in front of a house dressed as Santa Claus*
Audience: *Laughing*
Tom: Hey, anda finally laughed in the beginning for once. Thanks for taking my advice.
Audience: *Laughing*
Master Sword: Please explain to us why we're dressed as Santa Claus.
Tom: We are dressed like him, because it was on Aina's natal List. We can't dissapoint her.
Master Sword: Oh, I forgot. However, we got lebih important news.
Tom: Yes. In the sebelumnya episode, we...
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added by VanillaSonata
Source: edited oleh me
added by Canada24
video
anda are sitting on the dipan, sofa waiting for your best friend to come and watch the outsiders with anda for a college project. "Hey" (Y/N) Johnny says closing the door behind him. "Hey" Johnny anda say back. Are anda ready to watch the movie anda ask? He is silent and he just stares at you. "Are anda ok?" anda ask Johnny
He takes the remote out of your hands and says (Y/N) anda are funny, Caring, smart, Amazing, Loving, and most importantly anda are Gold. anda hold his chest as anda are pushing him was y and say " anda watched the outsiders without me"? "Look (Y/N) "what I am trying to say is I cinta you."...
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posted by Canada24
#1:
Chris/Ghostface: So anyways, I was saying, what's your favorito! scary movie?
Sam (Chris' fiancée): Well, the scariest is certainly Dragonball Evolution.
Chris/Ghostface: anda EVER MENTION THAT FILM AGAIN, I'LL CUT YOUR THROAT, anda LITTLE BITCH!
[...]
(Sam hangs up, believing this all to be a dumb joke)
Chris/Ghostface: That girl made me think of Dragonball Evolution. SHE'S GOING TO DIE!!!


#2:
"So we're watching the movie and things are happening and WHAT THE FUCK IS MICHAEL CAINE DOING IN THIS MOVIE?!"


#3:
"Oh thanks for the stupid ball, Grandpa. Thanks a lot. I appreciate it. Hey, can anda tell...
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added by TimberHumphrey
posted by Zeku
Have anda ever heard the story of the Albanian train operator? No?! Well then sit down and get comfy, we're going to be a while here. This is the greatest pun ever shared around a bar top. There once was an Albanian man who only ever dreamed of becoming a train operator. It was his greatest childhood fantasy, and all he worked for in his life. He was overjoyed when the hari finally came that he first got into the engine of a train to live out that dream. As Murphy's law would have it, his first hari on the job he hit a pedestrian on the tracks.. He was arrested, and come the hari for his trial...
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So the Game Awards 2019 was an absolute waste of time to anyone who went there. What a great time to be alive. Can anda believe they put a Fast & Furious game as the big announcement of that night above serigala Among Us 2 atau No lebih heroes 3? So after being disappointed oleh Fast & Furious, I can disappoint myself again with a new Fast & Furious title, Fast & Furious: Showdown. I’ve never watched any of the movies, I have no idea what they are about, all I know is they were part of Game Awards 2019, so that’s justifiable reasons to hate it. Created oleh the lovely team at Activision,...
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video
funny
hilarious
film
added by kingcesar67