The Phone Call

1. anda can do whatever anda damn well please.

2. Shave your legs and the razor is never dull from his face.

3. Not only is your razor not dull, who needs to shave at all now?

4. anda can leave bra and other unmentionables in view.

5. anda can slump around the house in any old thing.

6. anda don't having to think about birth control, calendars atau ovulation. Mother Nature can visit whenever she likes.

7. anda can go out and flirt as much as your jantung desires, without a worry in the world.

8. The toilet kursi issue -- need I say more?

9. Free drinks at bars! Men seem to know when you're single and tend to...

Dress up like one of the photographers and follow people around asking them repeatedly if they would like their picture taken.
Leave large gaps in between anda and the people in front of anda while waiting in line.
Every time anda pass a chain restraint not in use, clip it on and use it to hold back the people behind anda in line.
Ask the person running the roller coaster if someone has recently thrown up on it.
Pretend to freak out on a ride so they stop it to let anda off.
Offer people money for their spots in line . . . Monopoly money.
Speak in Spanish, atau pretend you're deaf and start making rapid...

I am pondering this question, it is a very difficult one to figure out. I can not seem to think of anything to make an artikel on....

2 Hours Later

Wait I think I have an idea coming on... nope I lost it... wait no I found it again... What if I write an artikel about reasons why anda should do pointe
1. anda get to be taller
2. anda can use them in self defense
3. anda can... what anda don't think that's a good idea... oh well back to the drawing board...

1 jam Later

Ok what about this... What happened when I invested in Eyepatches... hmmm titles to long how about My Eyepatch Investment.... sounds good......

THINK YOU'RE HAVING A BAD DAY. Check out these actual cases:

Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section
of forest while assessing the damage done oleh a forest fire. The deceased
male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his
back, flippers, and face mask.

A postmortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from
massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive
identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully
clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.

It was revealed that on the hari of the...

Bananas can sometimes be just as dangerous as lemons, but remember, monkeys touched them a lot, so they have some portion of us stuck in them. Really, they can be just as sentimental as us. I swear, last night my copy of The Blind Side got stolen, and there was a pisang strangely close to the TV.....nevermind. Here's the daftar anda have to watch out for:

1.The simplest way is the pisang peel. Bananas like to be wackos and tampil themselves to the ladies, so they shed some skin and sit there on the most slippery surface they can get. Of course, they don't care about you---so if anda are near a slippery...

WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the meja with her gourmet coffee.

Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the susu carton.

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WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check atau charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control for a televisi set in her purse.
"So, do anda always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied,...

LOLs!!

HE: I'm a photographer I've been looking for a face like yours!
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours

HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too !

HE: How did anda get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must have been diberikan your share !

HE: Will anda come out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend !

HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!

HE: I think I could make anda very happy
SHE: Why? Are anda leaving?

HE: What would anda say if I asked u to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh...

1) If cinta is blind, then why is there lingerie?
2) Why are they called "apartments" if they are all connected?
3) Should anda believe a chronic liar if he admits that he is a chronic liar?
4) Did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons?
5) Why is it that anjing cinta to hang their head out of the car window, but will get mad at anda if anda blow in their face?
6) If all the world is a stage, where is the audience?
7) If a pohon falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?
8) If pro is the opposite of con, then wouldn't congress be the opposite of progress?
9) If the segi lima, pentagon were...

•    A few clowns short of a circus

•    A few fries short of a Happy Meal

•    A few beers short of a six-pack

•    Dumber than a box of hair

•    A few peas short of a basi, casserole

•    Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box

•    The wheel's spinning but the hamster's dead

•    One Froot Loop shy of a full bowl

•    A few feathers short of a whole bebek

•    All foam, no beer...

•    Vary your vehicle’s speed inversely with the speed limit.

•    Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to head bang.

•    At stop lights, eye the person in the selanjutnya car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.

•    Two words: Chicken suit.

•    Write the words “Help me” on your back window in red paint. The lebih it looks like blood, the better.

•    Stop at the green lights.

•    Go at the red ones.

•    Occasionally...

Okay, I;m not saying anda should ACTUALLY do this, but if u want to, u can, and put in the komentar which ones you're going to try out.
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1. When you're getting a drink of water at the water fountain, and he passes by, get a handfull of water and throw it at the crotch of his pants, and then yell, "HE PEED HIS PANTS!"

2. Run underwear up a flagpoll, solute, and when your princible scolds you, say, "You're just saying that cuz anda hate America."

3. When anda go to the princible's office, and when he asks why anda were sent, say, "I wrote that anda sucked...

1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited oleh mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics.They lived in the Sarah dessert and traveled oleh Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

2. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible,Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apel, apple tree. One of their children,Cain, asked, “Am I my brother’s son?”

3. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened roti which is roti made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He...

anda came into my life as an unknown face
Not ever knowing our friendship,
I would one hari embrace
As I wonder Through My thoughts and memories of u,
It Brings many Big Smiles and laughter so true

I cinta the special bond that we beutifully share,
I cinta the way anda tampil u really care,
Our Friendship means the aboslute world to me
I only hope this is somthin i can make u see,
Not hear

Thank u for opening ur mind and soul,
I will do all i can to help heal,
ur hearts little wholes
Remember ur secrets are forever aman, brankas within me,
I will keep them under the tightest lock & key

Always Remember..If ur ever in...

1)At the movies: When anda meet acquaintances/ friends.. .
Stupid Question: Hey, what are anda doing here?
Answer: Don't u know, I sell tickets in black over here.

2)In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question: Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer: No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia. Why don't anda try again?

3)At a funeral: One of the teary eyed people ask...
Stupid Question: Why, why him, of all people.
Answer: Why? Would it rather have been you?

4)At a restaurant: When anda ask the waiter
Stupid Question: Is the "Paneer mentega Masala" dish good?...