Unlike love, fanpop is not a battlefield. anda don't have to gear up and amass an army to command in a war against everyone who's ever wronged you. I recognize that things get berkata on this site oleh several different people that are hurtful, cruel, insensitive and just plain troll-ish. Depending on your personality, anda might get a little hot-headed if someone says these things to anda atau your friends. But there are civil ways of dealing with these situations that don't involve flamethrowers and mustard gas. Conflicts can be resolved peaceably, atau at least can be curtailed before they escalate into a full-blown flame war.

1) Private Messaging. Frankly, if there are nasty words going back and forth in private, that's absolutely none of my business. If anda want to go all "Viva La Resistance!" and fight api with fire, be my guest. But please, keep the rest of us out of it. If someone insults anda atau is rude to you, rather than making a spectacle, send them a message about it. That way anda can deal with the problem oleh yelling atau kroket, kriket for all I care and anda don't drag other (often innocent) users into the fray. This is the best and most ideal way to deal with any tense situation. It keeps your private conflict out of the limelight, and fanpop drama free.

2) "I cannot teach anda violence, as I do not myself believe in it. I can only teach anda not to bow your heads before any one even at the cost of your life." If anda can't solve this privately, atau the person will not relent even after anda have asked them to stop, this step may help. Gandhi has become the poster-child for pacifism. Sure, he had his faults, but focusing on his teachings, keep his philosophy in mind. anda don't have to stand there and take it, but if someone is obviously saying things for the sole purpose of getting a rise out of you, recognize this. "Be the bigger person" and ignore them atau quietly reply to them. Remember the concept of non-violent resistance? It works with words, too. Also remember, Gandhi was dealing with a lot lebih crap than anda are on a little website, and he still managed to be peaceable. So anda have no excuse, really.

3) Perspective. If this is a serious conflict between someone who believes anda have done him/her wrong, then try and find out why. Step outside of your body and try and see things from a different point of view. Try to figure out where your opponent is coming from, what s/he is feeling, and why. It might help anda in step four.

4) Analyze the problem. If there's serious conflict, there's a problem that needs to be addressed. Why is this user attacking you? Is it out of defense, malice, prejudice, atau misunderstanding? The cause of the problem dictates how it should be dealt with. If anda try and solve the problem rather than hurling insults at everyone who disagrees with you, anda might actually accomplish something rather than talk in circles.

5) Apologize. Don't be afraid to give atau accept apologies. If someone offers anda one as a peace offering, don't snub it. If anda give one and it is snubbed, don't take it back and start yelling again. If anda feel that anda are at an impasse in your argument, try and offer a compromise. "I'm sorry I berkata this, but it was only because anda did this." It may cause the other person (assuming that s/he is rational) to reply, "You're right, I'm sorry I did that, but it was having a bad day." And viola, anda have it all sorted out.

It really isn't hard to deal with conflict rationally and maturely. If anda are dealing with an irrational, immature user, then feel free to laporan him/her, but don't get vindictive about it. It's times like these where step 2 is the most useful.

Hopefully, this will help in future conflicts. Unfortunately, I doubt it. I kind of have this feeling that I'm preaching to the choir.