_______________HEAVEN AND HELL_______________

I feel like there’s a monster inside my mind, clawing its sharp, black fingers at me and making me think that nothing will ever be the same again.
The voices are calling out to me – their voices screaming, like serigala howling when’s it’s a full moon, at me: “Give it a shot Annie!” “Your so-called friends at school don’t care about anda anymore!” “Don’t anda want to feel that blood trickle down from your cuts?!” “What are anda waiting for?” I try not to listen oleh covering my ears atau hiding under my blanket to keep those voices out atau even crying just to let them know that enough was enough.
I hate feeling this way.. All the dark voices keep lurking around the back of my mind when I’m alone.. they tell me to do all the horrible things to myself like swallowing pills, giving myself cuts in my arms, going up to edge of a high cliff somewhere and just jump to see what it felt like to fly… atau worse–get a gun and pull the trigger at my head, blowing it wide like a popped balloon before it sailed down to the ground…

I want to stop crying myself to sleep every night..
I want to stop all the hurt, the pain, the loneliness that I feel when I’m oleh myself
I want people to stop feeling sorry for me..
I want everyone, even me, to feel happy and not think that this is the last tahun we’d all be together
I want to be happy inside and not feel sad about everything all the time..
I want.. everything that’s happening to me now to stop and wash out of my body

Sometimes I feel happy and blissful when I’m with all my friends and family, and even my pets who always make me feel at halaman awal and happy.
But when I want to say something so darn important to someone all these negative thoughts swarm my mind like a hive of bees stinging me painfully.
My life is like torn between Heaven and Hell..
One hari I’m so happy.. selanjutnya thing anda know, everything grows dull and silent and suddenly, I’m swallowed up oleh darkness and pulled down deep, never able to reach the surface again..
Under this smile that I have on my face.. the happiness, the joy and the kindness.. there is a girl who just wants someone to
Understand her
Help her
Hug her
Let her know that that ‘someone’ would be there for her
Hold her hand and tell her know that everything with her – her problems, the pain – would disappear
Be there for her.. and never let her go atau leave her side

Do anda know me all that well?
Do anda know what my true feelings are?
Do anda know the girl who sits oleh herself?
Do you? Do anda really?

I didn’t think so…
Who am I to pertanyaan the impossible?

_______________PEACE & LOVE_______________

SILENT CHILD.