(This is a new series where I negatively review classic stories. And yes, I do like this story and I will like all the others I will do in the future, but I just thought this was a fun idea so... There anda go.)
So I'm pretty sure oleh now we all know this story. It's a timeless tale of adventure, and has a very important moral at the end. This story focuses on 3 pigs building houses to protect themselves from a serigala and taught kids that time and effort equals success. :)
BUT SINCE I'M A NITPICKING DOUCHE-BAG WHO DOESN'T APPRECIATE SHIT, I'm going to criticize this story as much as I can, pointing out every single last problem with it.
It's time to take a good old memandang sebentar, angsa at "The Three Little Pigs"
"Once upon a time when pigs spoke rhyme
And monkeys chewed tobacco,
And hens took snuff to make them tough,
And ducks went quack, quack, quack, O!"
.............
Dafaq? And yes, this IS the original too. So I guess this story is another.............
TOTAL TRIP DOWN LSD LAAAAAAAND!!! ^_____^
"There was an old menabur with three little pigs, and as she had not enough to keep them, she sent them out to seek their fortune."
Is it just me atau does this sentence not make sense? I mean, it says there's an old menabur with three pigs, that's alright, but the rest doesn't add up. So, what? Is the menabur referring to a house atau a mother atau A TALKING HOUSE atau WHAT!?
"The first that went off met a man with a bundle of straw, and berkata to him: Please, man, give me that straw to build a house."
Yes old man, please give me your valuable supplies you'll probably need a lot for later. Give me presumably the only thing anda have for free. :)
"Which the man did, and the little pig built a house with it."
Wait, THAT'S IT!? THAT'S ALL THEY DO WITH THE OLD MAN!? WHY MAKE A CHARACTER IF THEY'RE JUST GOING TO HAVE 2 detik OF SCREEN TIME, IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!
The penulis could've made an AWESOME ending where all the pigs are about to die, but then the old man saves them all and fights off the wolf! atau maybe the old man was evil and planned on killing the pigs later! BUT OF ALL THE THINGS THE penulis DECIDES TO DO, his mind decides to hail the magic kulit kerang, keong shell and do nothing with the old man.
WHY TAKE THE TIME TO DRAW A DETAILED ORIGINAL CHARACTER AND DO NOTHING WITH THEM!?
And it gets even better. :)
"Presently came along a wolf, and knocked at the door, and said: Little pig, little pig, let me come in."
Because evil, deadly, and vicious man-eating serigala apparently knock on doors. THIS IS NOT A GOOD WAY TO TEACH KIDS!
serigala would NEVER EVER do something that stupid and nice, they'd kill anda on the spot!
*Now waiting for komentar telling me serigala can be nice and I can suck it*
"To which the pig answered: Not oleh the hair on my chinny chin chin!"
My Teacher: hey Jared, tell me what 6 times 9 is. :)
Me: Not oleh the hair on my chinny chin chin!
My Teacher: Then FUCKING DIE BITCH! >:D
Me: HOLY SHIT WHEN DID THIS BECOME LETHAL WEAPON!? X___X
Seriously, who the hell says that? Oh well, whatever floats the authors boat. (Comments: Who says THAT!? @___@)
"The serigala then answered to that: Then I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I'll blow your house in!"
BECAUSE SCARY VICIOUS MAN-EATING serigala WHO WANT YOUR BLOOD.....
Apparently blow on your house in hopes of knocking it down. Seriously, this is the worst serigala ever. HE'S lebih OF A PANSY THAN SHANG TSUNG FROM MORTAL KOMBAT 9!
"So he huffed, and he puffed, and he blew his house in, and ate up the little pig."
HOLY FUCKING SHIT, THIS IS A CHILDREN'S STORY!? Seriously, when the HELL in any kids book does a character get BRUTALLY EATEN ALIVE!? And I swear to god this is the original.
All of a sudden this wolf..... He ate a poor innocent little pig......
HE'S A TOTAL FUCKING BADASS! ^_____^
"The detik little pig met a man with a bundle of furze, and said: Please, man, give me that furze to build a house."
BECAUSE EVERY 4 tahun OLD membaca THIS BOOK KNOWS WHAT FURZE IS. :D
Seriously, before this review not even I KNEW what furze was. Great way to teach the kids there! Might as well put words like Dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane and Acetaminophen in your book.
IT'S NO USE!
"Which the man did, and the pig built his house."
Another old man character with less personality than Pebbles and Bam-Bam from the Flintstones, HOOFUCKINGRAY. -___-
"Then along came the wolf, and said:"
I'M GOING TO RAPE YOU! >:D
Yeah, I'm just screwing with you. XD
"Little pig, little pig, let me come in. Not oleh the hair of my chiny chin chin! Then I'll puff, and I'll huff, and I'll blow your house in."
THis hasn't really bothered me until now, but HOW THE FUCK do anda blow a house IN!? HOW DO anda BLOW DOWN A HOUSE IN THE FIRST PLACE!?
At this point I wouldn't be surprised if Marvin The Martian from the Looney Toons just blew everything up. Hell, that would've been EPIC!
Seriously, someone has to do a Three Little Pigs and Marvin The Martian crossover, I'D PAY ANYTHING to see that.
"So he huffed, and he puffed, and he puffed, and he huffed, and at last he blew the house down, and he ate up the little pig."
I can just imagine the pre-school teachers saying "Yeah, this book is fine! No deadly vicious man-eating serigala eating innocent little pigs in THIS book! :D"
Fucking liers. XD
"The third little pig met a man with a load of bricks, and said: Please, man, give me those bricks to build a house with."
And the serigala huffed, and he puffed, and he fucked up, the end. :)
Haha Jared, I wish.
"So the man gave him the bricks, and he built his house with them."
Gee, these old people sure are nice..... Giving away good and valuable supplies for free...... Maybe they're on to something! Maybe they want to kill us a-
FREE STUFFZ YAYZAS! ^___________^
"So the serigala came, as he did to the other little pigs, and said: Little pig, little pig, let me come in. Not oleh the hair of my chiny chin chin! Then I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll blow your house in.”
Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll FUCK YOUR HOUSE UP! >:D
Sorry, it's just so fun thinking about if that was actually in this book. XD
"Well, he huffed, and he puffed, and he huffed and he puffed, and he puffed and huffed; but he could not get the house down."
What they need is Kirby for this job, he'll fucking annihilate the brick house.
LIKE A BOSS!
"When he found that he could not, with all his huffing and puffing, blow the house down, he said: Little pig, I know where there is a nice field of turnips. Where?"
You.... anda MONSTER! anda eat all my friends.... anda destroy their houses and take everything that they owned..... And anda even tried to murder me, and NOW you're trying to be friends!?
..................
OKAAAAAAAYYYY :DDDDDDD
"Oh, in Mr. Smith’s Home-field, and if anda will be ready tomorrow morning I will call for you, and we will go together, and get some for dinner.”
The Wolf: Oh we'll get makan malam alright..... It'll be delicious..... Just anda and me, all alone........
The Third Pig: SOUNDS LEGIT! :D
"Very well... berkata the little pig, I will be ready. What time do anda mean to go? Oh, at six o’clock.”
anda have got to be fucking kidding me. Haven't anda ever heard the term "Never Judge A Book oleh It's Cover"?
Me at halaman awal looking for good books: BORING, DULL, STUPID, LAME....
"Well, the little pig got up at five, and got the turnips before the serigala came (which he did about six) and said: Little Pig, are anda ready? The little pig said: Ready! I have been and come back again, and got a nice potful for dinner."
A POTFUL OF YOU! BWAHAHAHA!!!! *Intimidating Lightning*
Oh I forgot, this is The Three Little Pigs. GODDAMN IT!
"The serigala felt very angry at this, but thought that he would be up to the little pig somehow atau other, so he said: Little pig, I know where there is a nice apple-tree. Where? berkata the pig."
LITTLE PIG, IF anda CLICK THIS BUTTON YOU'LL WIN ONE-MILLION DOLLARS! ^____^
Pig: ZOMFG REALLY!? :D
Seriously, this character is so stupid it's almost insulting.
"Down at Merry-garden replied the serigala and if anda will not deceive me I will come for you, at five o’clock tomorrow and get some apples.”
Dear god, I feel like I'm reviewing a bad fanfiction.....
Also, HOW THE HELL CAN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS TALK!? I've been trying not to mention this for the entire article, but I can't stand it anymore. HOW THE FUCK ARE THEY TALKING!?
Advertisement: AND THAT'S the benefits of meth and cocaine! ^___^
"Well, the little pig bustled up the selanjutnya morning at four o’clock, and went off for the apples, hoping to get back before the serigala came; but he had further to go, and had to climb the tree, so that just as he was coming down from it, he saw the serigala coming, which, as anda may suppose, frightened him very much."
Longest fucking sentence ever. Seriously, anything lebih complicated than "He bought an apple" Shouldn't be in a kids book.
Also, this story is long as hell. Maybe selanjutnya time I'll just review a Dr. Suess book.
(??: Oh yes Jared.... Yes anda will..... anda will PAY for what anda did to me in your puncak, atas 10 Things I Hate The Most In Video Games list. Haha, HAHHAAHH!!!!)
"When the serigala came up he said: Little pig, what! Are anda here before me? Are they nice apples?”
*Trying so hard to not make a penis joke*
"Yes, very, berkata the little pig. I will throw anda down one. And he threw it so far, that, while the serigala was gone to pick it up, the little pig jumped down and ran home."
What kind of 5 tahun old wants to read this? My god, THIS IS SO BORING!
"The selanjutnya hari the serigala came again, and berkata to the little pig: Little pig, there is a fair at Shanklin this afternoon, will anda go? Oh yes, berkata the pig, I will go; what time shall anda be ready?"
Me: *Wakes Up* AHHH EVIL MUTANT GUMMY beruang NAPALM FLAME NINJAS, anda WON'T PREVAIL THIS TIME! >.<
Me: Oh, this is reality. Oops.
MY GOD THOUGH, WHAT KIND OF KID IS GOING TO SIT THROUGH THIS!? At this point I would've done the sane thing and slammed the fucking book shut!
“At three, berkata the wolf. So the little pig went off before the time as usual, and got to the fair, and bought a butter-churn, which he was going halaman awal with, when he saw the serigala coming."
I'm using all the power in my human body to not make a sex joke right here.
"Then he could not tell what to do. So he got into the churn to hide, and oleh so doing turned it round, and it rolled down the bukit, hill with the pig in it, which frightened the serigala so much, that he ran halaman awal without going to the fair."
AND THAT'S WHY anda DON'T FUCK WITH PIGS.
-DA END-
Haha Jared, I wish. :)
I made that joke an jam ago. AW FUCK! WHEN WILL THIS END!?
"He went to the little pig’s house, and told him how frightened he had been oleh a great round thing which came down the bukit, hill past him."
IT WAS BIG, IT WAS ALL WIGGLY, AND IT ATE EVERYTHING! XD
Spongebob for the fucking win.
"Then the little pig said: Hah, I frightened you, then. I had been to the fair and bought a butter-churn, and when I saw you, I got into it, and rolled down the hill."
Suddenly this pig..... He almost murdered a wolf.... He resorted to bloodshed in a kids book.....
LIKE A MOTHERFUCKING BOSS! ^_______^
Damn it, I made that joke an jam yang lalu too. FUCK!
"Then the serigala was very angry indeed, and declared he would eat up the little pig, and that he would get down the chimney after him."
Yes wolf. Reveal your plans in a very obvious way. Tell the pig straight up you're going to kill him and let him set up to kill you. :)
I'M TELLING YOU, THIS serigala IS STUPIDER THAN COSMO FROM THE FAIRLY ODDPARENTS! WHO THE HELL WOULD SAY WHAT THEY'RE GOING TO DO TO SOMEONE!?
Also for a moment I thought I was membaca The Twilight Zone. It's just that this book has so much dark themes in it.
...........
I just called The Three Little Pigs dark. Wow.
Holy shit. I'm going insane.
"When the little pig saw what he was about, he hung on the pot full of water, and made up a blazing fire, and, just as the serigala was coming down, took off the cover, and in fell the wolf; so the little pig put on the cover again in an instant, boiled him up, and ate him for supper, and lived happy ever afterwards."
THANK Yesus IT'S FINALLY OVER.
In conclusion, why do so many people like this book? It's boring, a bit dark for kids, has a lot of long sentences and words in it 4 tahun old kids wouldn't understand, it's too long for it's own good, and the characters are diberikan little to no to Scrappy Doo personality.
It's cliche, lame, and outdated as hell. And that's it. I'm finally done, holy shit.
(For the record, all of the conclusion is a lie. Well, most of it anyways. I really did like this story, so leave me alone komentar section.)
Anyways, this is Jared Potts, signing o-
??: Guess who..... Hahaha......
Me: Well fuck.
Kyros: Yes, it's me again. And you.... anda sick bastard.....
Me: What do anda want, some popcorn? It's in the cabin-
Kyros: SILENCE! anda shall pay DEARLY for what anda did to me! And your punishment......
Me: What is it, lunch detention? :D
Kyros! THAT'S IT! FOR YOUR selanjutnya CRUSHING THE CLASSICS ARTICLE, YOU'RE GOING TO REVIEW YOUR favorit DR. SUESS STORY.......
Me: Wait.... anda wouldn't.....
Kyros: Oh yes I would... Ha....Haha..... HAHAHAHHAHAH!!!!!!
Me: Please.... Don't do it! I cinta that book!
Kyros: IT'S FINAL! YOU'RE REVIEWING..............
Kyros: The. Butter. Battle. Book.
Me: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Well shit, the selanjutnya episode's going to be a doozie. Goddamn it Kyros. Anyways, see anda guys later! Thanks for reading, and don't forget to click the I'm A fan button if anda enjoyed!)
So I'm pretty sure oleh now we all know this story. It's a timeless tale of adventure, and has a very important moral at the end. This story focuses on 3 pigs building houses to protect themselves from a serigala and taught kids that time and effort equals success. :)
BUT SINCE I'M A NITPICKING DOUCHE-BAG WHO DOESN'T APPRECIATE SHIT, I'm going to criticize this story as much as I can, pointing out every single last problem with it.
It's time to take a good old memandang sebentar, angsa at "The Three Little Pigs"
"Once upon a time when pigs spoke rhyme
And monkeys chewed tobacco,
And hens took snuff to make them tough,
And ducks went quack, quack, quack, O!"
.............
Dafaq? And yes, this IS the original too. So I guess this story is another.............
TOTAL TRIP DOWN LSD LAAAAAAAND!!! ^_____^
"There was an old menabur with three little pigs, and as she had not enough to keep them, she sent them out to seek their fortune."
Is it just me atau does this sentence not make sense? I mean, it says there's an old menabur with three pigs, that's alright, but the rest doesn't add up. So, what? Is the menabur referring to a house atau a mother atau A TALKING HOUSE atau WHAT!?
"The first that went off met a man with a bundle of straw, and berkata to him: Please, man, give me that straw to build a house."
Yes old man, please give me your valuable supplies you'll probably need a lot for later. Give me presumably the only thing anda have for free. :)
"Which the man did, and the little pig built a house with it."
Wait, THAT'S IT!? THAT'S ALL THEY DO WITH THE OLD MAN!? WHY MAKE A CHARACTER IF THEY'RE JUST GOING TO HAVE 2 detik OF SCREEN TIME, IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!
The penulis could've made an AWESOME ending where all the pigs are about to die, but then the old man saves them all and fights off the wolf! atau maybe the old man was evil and planned on killing the pigs later! BUT OF ALL THE THINGS THE penulis DECIDES TO DO, his mind decides to hail the magic kulit kerang, keong shell and do nothing with the old man.
WHY TAKE THE TIME TO DRAW A DETAILED ORIGINAL CHARACTER AND DO NOTHING WITH THEM!?
And it gets even better. :)
"Presently came along a wolf, and knocked at the door, and said: Little pig, little pig, let me come in."
Because evil, deadly, and vicious man-eating serigala apparently knock on doors. THIS IS NOT A GOOD WAY TO TEACH KIDS!
serigala would NEVER EVER do something that stupid and nice, they'd kill anda on the spot!
*Now waiting for komentar telling me serigala can be nice and I can suck it*
"To which the pig answered: Not oleh the hair on my chinny chin chin!"
My Teacher: hey Jared, tell me what 6 times 9 is. :)
Me: Not oleh the hair on my chinny chin chin!
My Teacher: Then FUCKING DIE BITCH! >:D
Me: HOLY SHIT WHEN DID THIS BECOME LETHAL WEAPON!? X___X
Seriously, who the hell says that? Oh well, whatever floats the authors boat. (Comments: Who says THAT!? @___@)
"The serigala then answered to that: Then I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I'll blow your house in!"
BECAUSE SCARY VICIOUS MAN-EATING serigala WHO WANT YOUR BLOOD.....
Apparently blow on your house in hopes of knocking it down. Seriously, this is the worst serigala ever. HE'S lebih OF A PANSY THAN SHANG TSUNG FROM MORTAL KOMBAT 9!
"So he huffed, and he puffed, and he blew his house in, and ate up the little pig."
HOLY FUCKING SHIT, THIS IS A CHILDREN'S STORY!? Seriously, when the HELL in any kids book does a character get BRUTALLY EATEN ALIVE!? And I swear to god this is the original.
All of a sudden this wolf..... He ate a poor innocent little pig......
HE'S A TOTAL FUCKING BADASS! ^_____^
"The detik little pig met a man with a bundle of furze, and said: Please, man, give me that furze to build a house."
BECAUSE EVERY 4 tahun OLD membaca THIS BOOK KNOWS WHAT FURZE IS. :D
Seriously, before this review not even I KNEW what furze was. Great way to teach the kids there! Might as well put words like Dichlorodiphenyltrichloroethane and Acetaminophen in your book.
IT'S NO USE!
"Which the man did, and the pig built his house."
Another old man character with less personality than Pebbles and Bam-Bam from the Flintstones, HOOFUCKINGRAY. -___-
"Then along came the wolf, and said:"
I'M GOING TO RAPE YOU! >:D
Yeah, I'm just screwing with you. XD
"Little pig, little pig, let me come in. Not oleh the hair of my chiny chin chin! Then I'll puff, and I'll huff, and I'll blow your house in."
THis hasn't really bothered me until now, but HOW THE FUCK do anda blow a house IN!? HOW DO anda BLOW DOWN A HOUSE IN THE FIRST PLACE!?
At this point I wouldn't be surprised if Marvin The Martian from the Looney Toons just blew everything up. Hell, that would've been EPIC!
Seriously, someone has to do a Three Little Pigs and Marvin The Martian crossover, I'D PAY ANYTHING to see that.
"So he huffed, and he puffed, and he puffed, and he huffed, and at last he blew the house down, and he ate up the little pig."
I can just imagine the pre-school teachers saying "Yeah, this book is fine! No deadly vicious man-eating serigala eating innocent little pigs in THIS book! :D"
Fucking liers. XD
"The third little pig met a man with a load of bricks, and said: Please, man, give me those bricks to build a house with."
And the serigala huffed, and he puffed, and he fucked up, the end. :)
Haha Jared, I wish.
"So the man gave him the bricks, and he built his house with them."
Gee, these old people sure are nice..... Giving away good and valuable supplies for free...... Maybe they're on to something! Maybe they want to kill us a-
FREE STUFFZ YAYZAS! ^___________^
"So the serigala came, as he did to the other little pigs, and said: Little pig, little pig, let me come in. Not oleh the hair of my chiny chin chin! Then I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll blow your house in.”
Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll FUCK YOUR HOUSE UP! >:D
Sorry, it's just so fun thinking about if that was actually in this book. XD
"Well, he huffed, and he puffed, and he huffed and he puffed, and he puffed and huffed; but he could not get the house down."
What they need is Kirby for this job, he'll fucking annihilate the brick house.
LIKE A BOSS!
"When he found that he could not, with all his huffing and puffing, blow the house down, he said: Little pig, I know where there is a nice field of turnips. Where?"
You.... anda MONSTER! anda eat all my friends.... anda destroy their houses and take everything that they owned..... And anda even tried to murder me, and NOW you're trying to be friends!?
..................
OKAAAAAAAYYYY :DDDDDDD
"Oh, in Mr. Smith’s Home-field, and if anda will be ready tomorrow morning I will call for you, and we will go together, and get some for dinner.”
The Wolf: Oh we'll get makan malam alright..... It'll be delicious..... Just anda and me, all alone........
The Third Pig: SOUNDS LEGIT! :D
"Very well... berkata the little pig, I will be ready. What time do anda mean to go? Oh, at six o’clock.”
anda have got to be fucking kidding me. Haven't anda ever heard the term "Never Judge A Book oleh It's Cover"?
Me at halaman awal looking for good books: BORING, DULL, STUPID, LAME....
"Well, the little pig got up at five, and got the turnips before the serigala came (which he did about six) and said: Little Pig, are anda ready? The little pig said: Ready! I have been and come back again, and got a nice potful for dinner."
A POTFUL OF YOU! BWAHAHAHA!!!! *Intimidating Lightning*
Oh I forgot, this is The Three Little Pigs. GODDAMN IT!
"The serigala felt very angry at this, but thought that he would be up to the little pig somehow atau other, so he said: Little pig, I know where there is a nice apple-tree. Where? berkata the pig."
LITTLE PIG, IF anda CLICK THIS BUTTON YOU'LL WIN ONE-MILLION DOLLARS! ^____^
Pig: ZOMFG REALLY!? :D
Seriously, this character is so stupid it's almost insulting.
"Down at Merry-garden replied the serigala and if anda will not deceive me I will come for you, at five o’clock tomorrow and get some apples.”
Dear god, I feel like I'm reviewing a bad fanfiction.....
Also, HOW THE HELL CAN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS TALK!? I've been trying not to mention this for the entire article, but I can't stand it anymore. HOW THE FUCK ARE THEY TALKING!?
Advertisement: AND THAT'S the benefits of meth and cocaine! ^___^
"Well, the little pig bustled up the selanjutnya morning at four o’clock, and went off for the apples, hoping to get back before the serigala came; but he had further to go, and had to climb the tree, so that just as he was coming down from it, he saw the serigala coming, which, as anda may suppose, frightened him very much."
Longest fucking sentence ever. Seriously, anything lebih complicated than "He bought an apple" Shouldn't be in a kids book.
Also, this story is long as hell. Maybe selanjutnya time I'll just review a Dr. Suess book.
(??: Oh yes Jared.... Yes anda will..... anda will PAY for what anda did to me in your puncak, atas 10 Things I Hate The Most In Video Games list. Haha, HAHHAAHH!!!!)
"When the serigala came up he said: Little pig, what! Are anda here before me? Are they nice apples?”
*Trying so hard to not make a penis joke*
"Yes, very, berkata the little pig. I will throw anda down one. And he threw it so far, that, while the serigala was gone to pick it up, the little pig jumped down and ran home."
What kind of 5 tahun old wants to read this? My god, THIS IS SO BORING!
"The selanjutnya hari the serigala came again, and berkata to the little pig: Little pig, there is a fair at Shanklin this afternoon, will anda go? Oh yes, berkata the pig, I will go; what time shall anda be ready?"
Me: *Wakes Up* AHHH EVIL MUTANT GUMMY beruang NAPALM FLAME NINJAS, anda WON'T PREVAIL THIS TIME! >.<
Me: Oh, this is reality. Oops.
MY GOD THOUGH, WHAT KIND OF KID IS GOING TO SIT THROUGH THIS!? At this point I would've done the sane thing and slammed the fucking book shut!
“At three, berkata the wolf. So the little pig went off before the time as usual, and got to the fair, and bought a butter-churn, which he was going halaman awal with, when he saw the serigala coming."
I'm using all the power in my human body to not make a sex joke right here.
"Then he could not tell what to do. So he got into the churn to hide, and oleh so doing turned it round, and it rolled down the bukit, hill with the pig in it, which frightened the serigala so much, that he ran halaman awal without going to the fair."
AND THAT'S WHY anda DON'T FUCK WITH PIGS.
-DA END-
Haha Jared, I wish. :)
I made that joke an jam ago. AW FUCK! WHEN WILL THIS END!?
"He went to the little pig’s house, and told him how frightened he had been oleh a great round thing which came down the bukit, hill past him."
IT WAS BIG, IT WAS ALL WIGGLY, AND IT ATE EVERYTHING! XD
Spongebob for the fucking win.
"Then the little pig said: Hah, I frightened you, then. I had been to the fair and bought a butter-churn, and when I saw you, I got into it, and rolled down the hill."
Suddenly this pig..... He almost murdered a wolf.... He resorted to bloodshed in a kids book.....
LIKE A MOTHERFUCKING BOSS! ^_______^
Damn it, I made that joke an jam yang lalu too. FUCK!
"Then the serigala was very angry indeed, and declared he would eat up the little pig, and that he would get down the chimney after him."
Yes wolf. Reveal your plans in a very obvious way. Tell the pig straight up you're going to kill him and let him set up to kill you. :)
I'M TELLING YOU, THIS serigala IS STUPIDER THAN COSMO FROM THE FAIRLY ODDPARENTS! WHO THE HELL WOULD SAY WHAT THEY'RE GOING TO DO TO SOMEONE!?
Also for a moment I thought I was membaca The Twilight Zone. It's just that this book has so much dark themes in it.
...........
I just called The Three Little Pigs dark. Wow.
Holy shit. I'm going insane.
"When the little pig saw what he was about, he hung on the pot full of water, and made up a blazing fire, and, just as the serigala was coming down, took off the cover, and in fell the wolf; so the little pig put on the cover again in an instant, boiled him up, and ate him for supper, and lived happy ever afterwards."
THANK Yesus IT'S FINALLY OVER.
In conclusion, why do so many people like this book? It's boring, a bit dark for kids, has a lot of long sentences and words in it 4 tahun old kids wouldn't understand, it's too long for it's own good, and the characters are diberikan little to no to Scrappy Doo personality.
It's cliche, lame, and outdated as hell. And that's it. I'm finally done, holy shit.
(For the record, all of the conclusion is a lie. Well, most of it anyways. I really did like this story, so leave me alone komentar section.)
Anyways, this is Jared Potts, signing o-
??: Guess who..... Hahaha......
Me: Well fuck.
Kyros: Yes, it's me again. And you.... anda sick bastard.....
Me: What do anda want, some popcorn? It's in the cabin-
Kyros: SILENCE! anda shall pay DEARLY for what anda did to me! And your punishment......
Me: What is it, lunch detention? :D
Kyros! THAT'S IT! FOR YOUR selanjutnya CRUSHING THE CLASSICS ARTICLE, YOU'RE GOING TO REVIEW YOUR favorit DR. SUESS STORY.......
Me: Wait.... anda wouldn't.....
Kyros: Oh yes I would... Ha....Haha..... HAHAHAHHAHAH!!!!!!
Me: Please.... Don't do it! I cinta that book!
Kyros: IT'S FINAL! YOU'RE REVIEWING..............
Kyros: The. Butter. Battle. Book.
Me: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Well shit, the selanjutnya episode's going to be a doozie. Goddamn it Kyros. Anyways, see anda guys later! Thanks for reading, and don't forget to click the I'm A fan button if anda enjoyed!)
While emoji (graphical presentations of emoticons) are probably most known, “kaomoji” (from “kao” = face, “moji” = character) are the Japanese version of Western/Eastern emoticons and there are practically endless variations available.
The biggest difference to the Western/Eastern and Japanese emotions is that they read horizontally and anda don’t need to turn your head to understand them.
For example the Western/Eastern emoticon for “Happy” looks like this :-)/:) while the Japanese version looks like this (^_^).
Do anda use these emotions atau others in your emails?
Here are some examples:
(^_^) happy
(((º Д º ;))) scared
(-´´-;) problems
(>_<) angry
(?_?) confused
(-.-)zzZ sleepy
(^ _^;) embarrassed
(^O^) very happy
(T_T) sad
(^ ε ^) ciuman
-See lebih emotions here: link
1) wacg alote of T.V. atau be on the computer a long time
2) don't eat food that can make anda sleepy
3) drink a lot of soda atau crush
4) gety near load stuff atau equipment
5) kepp your lights on
6) try not to close your eyes at a late jam
7) don't lay down
8) wach a scary movie
EX: Cucky Nightmare on elms jalan, street orphan
10) eat choclat and other stuff to make anda hiper
those are some ways to stay up till midnight on New years eve.
plz writ a commet to tell me what anda did on the list
HAPPY NEW YEARS EVE EVERYONE!
2) don't eat food that can make anda sleepy
3) drink a lot of soda atau crush
4) gety near load stuff atau equipment
5) kepp your lights on
6) try not to close your eyes at a late jam
7) don't lay down
8) wach a scary movie
EX: Cucky Nightmare on elms jalan, street orphan
10) eat choclat and other stuff to make anda hiper
those are some ways to stay up till midnight on New years eve.
plz writ a commet to tell me what anda did on the list
HAPPY NEW YEARS EVE EVERYONE!
(Big idea)
Another problem thats spreading on Fanpop. The problem is that people keep reporting people for dumb reasons. For example my friend some people reported her because she didnt agree with them and thats wrong. Like what happened to ''We are a big fanpop family''?. That doesnt even matter anymore does it ? Just when somebody makes anda mad atau doesnt agree with your point of view anda just laporan them and thats just a whole bunch of bullshit. Like for real handle reporting responsibly if someone makes anda mad keep going on with life if someone doesnt agree with your view point just accept dont laporan thm. Because we are a big family and we dont laporan atau block family we care and tampil cinta for them and YES we all argue its natural but just to laporan someone is taking it too far
PLZ STOP IT!!
whos w/ me?
cinta all around
-Jordan
Another problem thats spreading on Fanpop. The problem is that people keep reporting people for dumb reasons. For example my friend some people reported her because she didnt agree with them and thats wrong. Like what happened to ''We are a big fanpop family''?. That doesnt even matter anymore does it ? Just when somebody makes anda mad atau doesnt agree with your point of view anda just laporan them and thats just a whole bunch of bullshit. Like for real handle reporting responsibly if someone makes anda mad keep going on with life if someone doesnt agree with your view point just accept dont laporan thm. Because we are a big family and we dont laporan atau block family we care and tampil cinta for them and YES we all argue its natural but just to laporan someone is taking it too far
PLZ STOP IT!!
whos w/ me?
cinta all around
-Jordan
"Hello, is this the FBI?" "Yes, what do anda want?" "I'm calling to laporan my neighbor Billy Bob Smith! He is hidingmarijuana inside his firewood." "Thank anda very much for the call, sir." The selanjutnya day, the FBI agents descend on Billy Bob's house. They searchthe shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open everypiece of wood, butfind no marijuana. They swore at Billy Bob and left. The phone rings at Billy Bob's house. Hey, Billy Bob! Did the FBI come?" "Yeah!" "Did they chop your firewood?" "Yep." "Happy Birthday, Buddy!"
1. Your membaca my article.
2. You're wondering why you're even membaca this.
4. anda didn't notice that I misspelled you're on #1
5. And you're checking back now
6. Nor did anda notice I skipped number three.
7. anda don't even feel like checking back this time. You'll take my word for it..
8. This is so stupid that anda silently chuckle to yourself.
9. Then anda realize that six isn't true because that doesn't make sense and that this is a rip off.
10. But anda remember that a fact is something that can be proven right atau wrong, so technically it was a fact.
11. anda wish anda never began to read this stupid stuff now but its still hard to stop.
13. I didn't catch anda with the missing number this time. atau did I?
14. anda wonder why I'm being such a smart butt.
15. But then again, my mind membaca powers amaze you.
16. anda totally forgot I was only supposed to tell anda ten facts.
2. You're wondering why you're even membaca this.
4. anda didn't notice that I misspelled you're on #1
5. And you're checking back now
6. Nor did anda notice I skipped number three.
7. anda don't even feel like checking back this time. You'll take my word for it..
8. This is so stupid that anda silently chuckle to yourself.
9. Then anda realize that six isn't true because that doesn't make sense and that this is a rip off.
10. But anda remember that a fact is something that can be proven right atau wrong, so technically it was a fact.
11. anda wish anda never began to read this stupid stuff now but its still hard to stop.
13. I didn't catch anda with the missing number this time. atau did I?
14. anda wonder why I'm being such a smart butt.
15. But then again, my mind membaca powers amaze you.
16. anda totally forgot I was only supposed to tell anda ten facts.
Ring a Ring a Rosies,
a pocket full of posies
ATISHOO ATISHOO, we all fall down
Known to be a song about a ring of roses, little children bernyanyi in a row, then anda sneeze and anda fall down. Did anda ever play that game as a young child? Hold hands and dance in a circle?
Now for the reality.
This nursery rhyme is about the Black Plague.
Ring a ring a rosies - anda used to have large pinky red circles on your skin, this is how anda knew anda had the plague.
A pocket full of posies - People used to hold posies up to their nose to keep the smell of death away. They also believed that it would keep the plague away. (didn't work)
Atishoo Atishoo we all fall down - anda know what THAT means? if not that, people would sneeze and cough and you'd know that OHMYGOD WERE DYING! And you'd all fall down (basically, you've popped your clogs)
Some people think it is a very, haunting, creepy song if sung in a certain way other than the cheerful way.
Randomness lol.
a pocket full of posies
ATISHOO ATISHOO, we all fall down
Known to be a song about a ring of roses, little children bernyanyi in a row, then anda sneeze and anda fall down. Did anda ever play that game as a young child? Hold hands and dance in a circle?
Now for the reality.
This nursery rhyme is about the Black Plague.
Ring a ring a rosies - anda used to have large pinky red circles on your skin, this is how anda knew anda had the plague.
A pocket full of posies - People used to hold posies up to their nose to keep the smell of death away. They also believed that it would keep the plague away. (didn't work)
Atishoo Atishoo we all fall down - anda know what THAT means? if not that, people would sneeze and cough and you'd know that OHMYGOD WERE DYING! And you'd all fall down (basically, you've popped your clogs)
Some people think it is a very, haunting, creepy song if sung in a certain way other than the cheerful way.
Randomness lol.
