Tetra: So, now that we are here, are anda ready to go on an amazing adventure to save your sister
Link: No
Tetra: Then let us- Wait, what do anda mean oleh no
Link: anda see, my mother used to tell me stories of a brave hero who went through many hardships to save the land from evil. And I can assure you, I fucking hate the stuff he went through. He almost got killed oleh spiders, lizards, jellyfish monsters, ghosts, dragons, water.... Yeah, just water, zombies, witches, pigmen, tribal warriors, goats, giant fish, worms, and a scary mask, and I can assure anda I won't go on some crappy adventure
Tetra: Perfect, then let us go
Link: I berkata I don't want to go
Tetra: We will not rest until we find your sister
Link: I berkata I don't want to go
Tetra: And we shall defeat the evil that lies in the Forsaken Fortress
Link: Do I have a saying in this
Tetra: No
Link: Ffffffuuuuuckk. Okay, lets go
Tetra: Hold on, anda need a shield first
Link: What. anda just berkata I had to come with you
Tetra: Shield first
Link: I don't even want to go with you. Sure, I want to lose my virginity, but goddamn your annoying.... Even though I'd still screw you
Tetra: Well, anda have to, otherwise anda will never go save your sister
Link: (Sigh) Fine. Wait here and do... whatever
Tetra: Okay
Link: Grandma
Grandma: Get off my lawn you-
Link: Grandma, I need a shield
Grandma: Oh, well here anda go Link
Link: (Takes shield) Thanks grandma
Grandma: Your wel- Link, are anda wearing girls clothing. Take that crap off, I ain't going to be the grandmother of some queer
Link: anda gave me these clothes
Grandma: Are anda crazy. Why would I do that
Link: Oh never fucking mind
Tetra: And look at that cloud. It looks just like a butterfly
Pirate: And that one looks a flower
Other Pirate: And that one looks like morgan Freeman
Link: Okay, I'm here. Now lets go before-
Grandma: LINK!!!
Link: She finds out! Quick go go go
Tatra: Okay, everyone. Lets get going (Ship starts moving)
Grandma: (On shore) Link, anda little bastard. Get back her and message my feet
Link: Not gonna happen. So long grandma, I'm going on an adventure
Grandma: DAMN YOU!!!
Link: So, when do anda think we'll get to the Foreskin Fortress
Tetra: Forsaken Fortress, actually
Link: Who cares
Tetra: Well, I think we'll get there soon
Link: Well, I'll just take a nap until-
Tetra: We're here (Points at fortress)
Link: So this is it, huh
Tetra: Yep, now lets see. How can we get anda inside
Link: Well, as long as it doesn't cause me physical pain, I'm fine with it
Tetra: Physical pain......... THAT'S IT
Link: (Inside a barrel in a catapult) Goddamn it (Catapult launches Link at fortress) Not the face. Not the face. Not the face. Not the face. Not the face (Hits wall) That....... Was....... My face (Falls into water) (Climbs out of water) Okay..... That sucked....... Now, it is time to go all Metal Gear Solid on this place
Link: (Gets thrown in cell) What the hell, how did I get thrown in here
Guard: anda shot in killed hundreds of guards until we just shot anda with a tranquilizer.
Link: Oh, right. I forgot I just run in and shoot everyone in Metal Gear Solid
Guard: Anyway, I will leave anda in this cell that definitely doesn't have a secret escape route. Especially behind those pots. Don't bother looking behind them. Now I will go and leave anda unguarded for no reason. Have fun (Walks out)
Link: ................................. I'm bored. Oh, pots. Must kill pots (Breaks pots) Hey, a secret escape route (Walks out) Okay, now, I just can't get caught again
Link: (Gets thrown in cell) What the hell
Guard : Ha, anda made this too easy. Now, this time stay in this cell, and don't look behind the new pots we added, there is absolutely positively no escape route. So long (Walks out)
(143 break outs later)
Link: Okay, now I am finally here at the puncak, atas of the tower
Aryll: Link, anda came to save me
Link: Yeah, don't give a shit. I just want to get done with this shitty quest
Aryll: Okay.... Hey, Link.... anda might want to turn around
Link: I know this joke Aryll. I won't fall for the old "Made anda look".
???: Hey, whats that behind you
Link: Huh (Turns around and sees bird)
Bird: HA! Made anda look (Picks up Link)
Aryll: Oh no, brother
Link: Still don't care
Bird: (Flies to the puncak, atas of Forsaken Fortress)
???: Ha ha ha. Who is this
Bird: Master, I found this kid walking around the fortress
???: WHAT! We let a little kid sneak all the way up here. We really need to increase our security
Bird: Probably
Link: Who the hell are you
???: I am none of your goddamn business..... But since I cinta my name so much, I am Ganondorf, and soon, I will rule the world
Link: Oh no, rule the world, its not like anyones done that a billion times before
Ganondorf: Oh, so your a smart pantat, keledai aren't you. I hate smart asses. Bird, kill him
Bid: Okay) (Throws Link far)
Link: AHHHHHHH!!!! HOW FUCKING POWERFUL IS THAT BIRDS THROOOOOOOWWWW! (Fades out of sight)
TO BE CONTINUED
Link: No
Tetra: Then let us- Wait, what do anda mean oleh no
Link: anda see, my mother used to tell me stories of a brave hero who went through many hardships to save the land from evil. And I can assure you, I fucking hate the stuff he went through. He almost got killed oleh spiders, lizards, jellyfish monsters, ghosts, dragons, water.... Yeah, just water, zombies, witches, pigmen, tribal warriors, goats, giant fish, worms, and a scary mask, and I can assure anda I won't go on some crappy adventure
Tetra: Perfect, then let us go
Link: I berkata I don't want to go
Tetra: We will not rest until we find your sister
Link: I berkata I don't want to go
Tetra: And we shall defeat the evil that lies in the Forsaken Fortress
Link: Do I have a saying in this
Tetra: No
Link: Ffffffuuuuuckk. Okay, lets go
Tetra: Hold on, anda need a shield first
Link: What. anda just berkata I had to come with you
Tetra: Shield first
Link: I don't even want to go with you. Sure, I want to lose my virginity, but goddamn your annoying.... Even though I'd still screw you
Tetra: Well, anda have to, otherwise anda will never go save your sister
Link: (Sigh) Fine. Wait here and do... whatever
Tetra: Okay
Link: Grandma
Grandma: Get off my lawn you-
Link: Grandma, I need a shield
Grandma: Oh, well here anda go Link
Link: (Takes shield) Thanks grandma
Grandma: Your wel- Link, are anda wearing girls clothing. Take that crap off, I ain't going to be the grandmother of some queer
Link: anda gave me these clothes
Grandma: Are anda crazy. Why would I do that
Link: Oh never fucking mind
Tetra: And look at that cloud. It looks just like a butterfly
Pirate: And that one looks a flower
Other Pirate: And that one looks like morgan Freeman
Link: Okay, I'm here. Now lets go before-
Grandma: LINK!!!
Link: She finds out! Quick go go go
Tatra: Okay, everyone. Lets get going (Ship starts moving)
Grandma: (On shore) Link, anda little bastard. Get back her and message my feet
Link: Not gonna happen. So long grandma, I'm going on an adventure
Grandma: DAMN YOU!!!
Link: So, when do anda think we'll get to the Foreskin Fortress
Tetra: Forsaken Fortress, actually
Link: Who cares
Tetra: Well, I think we'll get there soon
Link: Well, I'll just take a nap until-
Tetra: We're here (Points at fortress)
Link: So this is it, huh
Tetra: Yep, now lets see. How can we get anda inside
Link: Well, as long as it doesn't cause me physical pain, I'm fine with it
Tetra: Physical pain......... THAT'S IT
Link: (Inside a barrel in a catapult) Goddamn it (Catapult launches Link at fortress) Not the face. Not the face. Not the face. Not the face. Not the face (Hits wall) That....... Was....... My face (Falls into water) (Climbs out of water) Okay..... That sucked....... Now, it is time to go all Metal Gear Solid on this place
Link: (Gets thrown in cell) What the hell, how did I get thrown in here
Guard: anda shot in killed hundreds of guards until we just shot anda with a tranquilizer.
Link: Oh, right. I forgot I just run in and shoot everyone in Metal Gear Solid
Guard: Anyway, I will leave anda in this cell that definitely doesn't have a secret escape route. Especially behind those pots. Don't bother looking behind them. Now I will go and leave anda unguarded for no reason. Have fun (Walks out)
Link: ................................. I'm bored. Oh, pots. Must kill pots (Breaks pots) Hey, a secret escape route (Walks out) Okay, now, I just can't get caught again
Link: (Gets thrown in cell) What the hell
Guard : Ha, anda made this too easy. Now, this time stay in this cell, and don't look behind the new pots we added, there is absolutely positively no escape route. So long (Walks out)
(143 break outs later)
Link: Okay, now I am finally here at the puncak, atas of the tower
Aryll: Link, anda came to save me
Link: Yeah, don't give a shit. I just want to get done with this shitty quest
Aryll: Okay.... Hey, Link.... anda might want to turn around
Link: I know this joke Aryll. I won't fall for the old "Made anda look".
???: Hey, whats that behind you
Link: Huh (Turns around and sees bird)
Bird: HA! Made anda look (Picks up Link)
Aryll: Oh no, brother
Link: Still don't care
Bird: (Flies to the puncak, atas of Forsaken Fortress)
???: Ha ha ha. Who is this
Bird: Master, I found this kid walking around the fortress
???: WHAT! We let a little kid sneak all the way up here. We really need to increase our security
Bird: Probably
Link: Who the hell are you
???: I am none of your goddamn business..... But since I cinta my name so much, I am Ganondorf, and soon, I will rule the world
Link: Oh no, rule the world, its not like anyones done that a billion times before
Ganondorf: Oh, so your a smart pantat, keledai aren't you. I hate smart asses. Bird, kill him
Bid: Okay) (Throws Link far)
Link: AHHHHHHH!!!! HOW FUCKING POWERFUL IS THAT BIRDS THROOOOOOOWWWW! (Fades out of sight)
TO BE CONTINUED