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posted by teamian
Q .. Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
A .. To see what was on the other side.

Q .. Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A .. Because on the box it berkata From 2-4 years.

Q .. Why did the blonde call the welfare office?
A .. She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!

A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One hari the husband comes halaman awal from work and his wife says, "Honey, anda know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could anda fix it?" The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?" A few days go by, and...
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posted by 1122ridr
 Em I going mad?
Em I going mad?
I know I am. I just know it. My room is covered with pinguin, penguin stuff, I have a really big Mad Hatter hat,And I...I hate to admit it, but, I think I'm attracted to the March Hare. I must be going insane. The only book that I read is Alice in Wonderland and the only movie I watch is A Nightmare on Elm street. Tell me that I'm not going mad! I only drink tee, is that crazy atau what? Do anda think I'm going insane? I bet that anda do, don't you? Tell me, "Why is a raven like a righting desk?" Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!
posted by Shelly_McShelly
•    You will never find anybody who can give anda a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-savings time.

•    You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests anda think she's pregnant unless anda can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

•    The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.

•    The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status atau ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that...
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My name is Angela, and I'm in cinta with Jacob Black.And I have a weird talent. I can appear in places that I dream of and talk to people there!
I'm 16 years old and I go in "Forks High" high school. I met Jacob in one of my dreams, and after I moved in Forks I met him in real life.

Angela's POV
-Hey, anybody there?
Someone walked out from the dark. It's a boy. He was hot..Actually he looked exactly like Jacob Black..Hm.
The boy- Hey! What are anda doing here?!
-I don't know. I just appeared here, and I need help. anda see, I have this talent. What I dream of is actually reality. It's hard to explain....
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Reasons I cinta You:

1) The way anda stand oleh my side


2) The times anda make sure nothing will harm me


3) How anda always find a new way to "WoW" me


4) When I'm sad, anda take the pain away with a joke


5) How anda always look deep into my eyes


6) How anda can make my jantung melt with your soft lips


7) The way anda hold my hand so tight


8) The way anda never let my hands go


8) How anda always watch out for me


9) They way anda make sure I have everything I need


10) How anda always know what to say when I get mad at you


11) When anda buy me things out of the blue


12) How anda say the cutest...
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posted by karpach_14
A single drop of sweat from Chuck Norris was found to quench the thirst of an entire african village for 23 straight days. Subsequently, an olympic athlete from that village was disqualified from his event for testing positive for performance enhancing drugs.

Chuck Norris can read lady Gaga's poker face.

Chuck Norris says the alphabet faster backwards then anda can say it fowards.

When Chuck Norris goes to sleep, he doesn't dream he lives it.

In an alternate universe, Chuck Norris is just a myth. However, he pwns people there anyways.

When Chuck Norris drinks beer, the bir gets drunk.

Ninjas want...
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posted by wisegirl778
Hehe


1: Post an artical like this!
2: Go to the community pool.
3: Try to do as many backflips as possible in one minute.
4: Call your crush and see what he/she says to you.
5: Look up your least favorit teacher in the phone book and then prank call them saying they ordered three hundred gallon of spoiled mustard
6: Get together with your friends and go to the mall atau something that guys do
7: Go nightswimming
8: Grab your ipod and lay on your tempat tidur listening to every song on it.
9: Look up acak people in your yearbook and if anda know them call them.
10: Play a prank on your little sibling...
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added by BiteMeCullen107
Stupid pickup lines That guys actually think work on girlsXD

-are anda from tennessee; cause your the only ten I see
-did it hurt when anda fell from heaven
-excuse me, I've seem to have lost my number, can I have yours
-if anda were a booger I'd pick anda first
-help the homeless...take me halaman awal with you
-oh no! I'm choking...I think I need mouth to mouth
-there must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you
-hey I'm looking for treasure, can I look in your chest
-do anda have a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes
-hello I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart
-hi, I'm new...
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This has probably happened to a lot of anda because of taking notes in class.

Have anda ever got a little blister atau callus because of menulis too much on your finger? It's normal. All it is is a small callus from the pen applying a bit too much pressure atau rubbing for too long against your skin.

Calluses are not dangerous, but they aren't pretty either. All people who practice something with their hands all the time get them. Playing the gitar atau even cooking a lot can result in calluses.

So anda have some calluses and anda want to get rid of them. Fine. Use pens that have a little padding and try not to push down so hard on the pen.

anda can also do a treatment to get rid of calluses. Put your hands in warm water with lemon for 10 menit and let them soak. Then dry them off and apply creams atau badam, almond oil to the callus. Use hand cream daily and anda will see a difference.

If the callus hurts and does not go away then ask your parents about it. Lol
added by KateKicksAss
posted by Vishwa_22496
"WANNA MAKE a cutte quick effective difference in life...?"


1) If anda Want to work for people ....Make your jantung the ultimate NGO and see the difference.

2) If anda want fame ...Make yourself famous to yourself and see the difference

3) There is never a fresh start. But there is always a brighter start.

4) As anda are the creator of your life, similarly anda are the destroyer of your life.

5) Change not to please others, but to improve yourself.

6) And then remember the 2' ALWAYS:-
*always forget what people did bad for anda
*always forget what anda did good for people


P.S :- *always have an attitudde of excellance with combination of nobelity*
There’s nothing better than that moment when anda have an incredibly interesting fact to spew in a social situation, making yourself sound infinitely lebih intelligent than anda really are. I have picked out some of her favorit to throw out there at your New Years parties this weekend …


1. The U.S Government once poisoned over 10,000 American citizens.
And yes, that sh*t was intentional.

Even dumber than the idea of banning alcohol in the United States in the 1920s, was the idea to poison people in an effort to scare them away from drinking alcohol.

During the Prohibition, one way the black...
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I've recently heard that some people are offended oleh the T- kemeja slogan "Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them," and think it's sexist and that people wouldn't react the same if it was women they were targeting.

But the thing is, I feel that the kemeja isn't targeting men, but that it's for little girls who don't get along with boys. If I saw a five tahun old boy wearing a kemeja that berkata "Girls Have Cooties" atau "Pull your sister's pigtails, she deserves it" I'd think it's cute.

I don't think it's sexist. If it was targeting the female atau male gender I'd think it was, but I think it's just little girls not getting along with little boys, and thinking they're gross, not anything that might be serious.

But the people who criticize the slogan do make a good point, have anda ever seen a T.V. tampil where they always make the man look like an idiot and he follows his wife's every order? If the genders were reversed, it would be considered sexist.
Every Generation thinks they're smarter than than the ones before them,and Wiser than the ones after them.

*****

Our abasement to our ancestors,makes our descendants hiss us.

*****

Philosophy is the study of other's thoughts,History is the study of their mistakes.

*****

A woman's doubts is stronger than a man's certainty .

*****

Here's a handy advice:don't saran anyone,so anda don't carry their sins.

*****

Two anda can't escape nor survive from:A hungry tiger,and an emotional woman.

*****

The biggest mistake in your life is marrying a woman just because she's a nice companion.

*****

A Woman doesn't...
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added by Trainofdoom
1) Fetch it yourself jerkwad! anda threw it, why should I have to go and get it?
2) Fetch this!
3) (after licking himself) "ha ha! anda only wish anda could do that!"
4) "That whole, 'Blame your farts on me,' thing is SO not funny."
5) Bacon, Bacon, I smell Bacon, Only one thing smells like daging babi asap, bacon and it's BACON!
6) One of these days... I'll catch that $%#& Squirel
7) Who's the b*tch now?
8) What is the air-speed velocity of an unlden swallow?
9) Hey, zipperhead, clean my water dish and I won't drink from the toilet.
10) Why dont anda fetch your own newspaper!?
11) Dude, that Evil Lawn Gnome is creeping...
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As we walked I could tell we were getting closer to the Dwarfs. I could see the fence around there houses and I could hear them talking. I could also tell someone was watching us. She was a Dwarf peering through a hole in the fence at us. I couldn't see her but I could feel her watching us. Then I heard her turn and leave. Her footsteps were very loud and almost hurt my ears. 
Like an gajah I thought. 
"Could the Dwarfs help us?" I asked my mother. 
"I suppose they could." berkata my mother. 
She went to the front where the leader of the group was. She spoke to him then came back. 
"We're asking...
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posted by TeamSongz4eva
**got this off the interent its pretty funny!**



1.Make race car noises when anyone gets on atau off.

2.Blow your nose and offer to tampil the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.

3.Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: Shut up, dammit, all of anda just shut UP!

4.Whistle the first seven notes of It's a Small World incessantly.

5.Sell Girl Scout cookies.

6.On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.

7.Shave.

8.Crack open your tas kantor, tas atau purse, and while peering inside ask: Got enough air in there?

9.Offer name tag to everyone getting on the...
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