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posted by IsabellaMCullen
I didn't make this, I just found it...


1.Stick your open palm under the stall dinding and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

2.Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."

3.Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

4.Say, "Damn, this water's cold."

5.Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit! My glass eye!"

6.Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

7.Grunt and strain real loud for 30 detik and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.

8.Say, "Now how did that get there?"

9.Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."

10.Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!"

11.Say, "Interesting... lebih floaters than sinkers."

12.Using a small squeeze tube, spread kacang mentega on a wad of toilet paper and drop the wad under the stall dinding of your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could anda kick that back over here please?"

13.Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on me."

14.Fill a balloon with creamed corn. Rush into the stall with your hand over your mouth and let out a lengthy vomit impression while anda squeeze the balloon and splatter cream jagung all about. Apologize profusely and blame it on the restaurant's coffee anda had for breakfast.

15.Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot."

16.Say, "Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?"

17.Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.

18.Before anda unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.

19.Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust it so anda can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"

20.Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall dinding and sing "Born Free".

21.Come out of the stall with wet hands.

22.Pour water in a constant stream on the floor and say, 'Darn, I almost made it!'

23.Wash anda hair and dry it in the hand dryer.

24.Wear paper towels wrapped around your head and pretend you're Erykah Badu.

25.Write on the dinding of a women's bathroom 'Tom was here.' 'In the men's bathroom write 'Michael Jackson was here.'

26.Ask a person in the stall selanjutnya to anda for a tampon.

27.Roll a roll of toilet paper all the way down the row of stalls.

28.For a woman, stand in front of the toilet. For men, sit down in the stall and pee.

29.Scream 'Ohh it burns!' as anda use the bathroom.

30.Lock the door from the inside, sound frustrated that anda can't get out, then crawl under the door, getting as dirty as possible and complain to the manager that the door is faulty.

31.Introduce yourself to the guy at the selanjutnya urinal.

32.Turn the light off while stalls are occupied.

33.Stick your head over an occupied stall and ask for the time.

34.Tell people that they're on TV. Point to some acak spot on the far dinding and ask them to "smile for the camera".

35.Lie down across all the sinks and pretend to be passed out.

36.Use a stopwatch to time people going to the bathroom. Cheer them on to encourage good performance.

37.Hold your hand in front of a hand dryer while someone's using it.

38.Pour a bucket of water over an occupied stall.

39.Grab someone's pantat, keledai really hard while they're using a urinal, and see how far anda can get before they catch you.

40.Guard the paper towel dispenser in the name of the Earth Liberation Front.

41.Say to the guy at the selanjutnya urinal: "This is the best part about being gay."

42.Say, "Huh, that's funny. I don't remember eating asparagus."

43.Turn off the faucet while someone's washing their hands. Repeat.

44.Pee on someone's leg and tell them it's raining.

45.Offer to blow-dry other people's hands with your mouth to save energy.

46.Point at someone's crotch while they're using a urinal and yell, "Ha ha, your fly is down!"

47.Put on a hand puppet tampil underneath the stall selanjutnya to you.

48.Complain about the size of your penis.

49.While inside the bathroom, ask where the nearest bathroom is. After you've received a puzzled look atau response, reply, "I'm not looking for a toilet, anda moron, I'm looking for a bathroom. Haven't anda ever taken a bath? Apparently not. No wonder it smells like shit in here."

50.Demand to know where the glory holes are.

51.Walk up behind someone who's using a urinal and membungkus, bungkus his head in toilet paper.

52.Ask a friend to help anda stage a live audio performance of a violent mugging for your unwitting audience inside the stalls. Make sure the final line of dialogue is, "You come out of there and I'll blow your fucking head off."

53.Inside a stall, pretend to be talking to a young child, "That's right Johnny, remember what I told anda about unzipping your fly? Oh, now look what anda did!" Then slap your hands twice and make crying noises.

54.Hang a realistic dummy from a noose inside one of the stalls as a wacky surprise for the selanjutnya visitor.

55.Knock on the stall selanjutnya to anda and say, "Do anda have enough toilet paper in there? I got plenty if anda need some."

56.Put up a sign above the sink that says "Did anda remember to wipe?"

57.In a restaurant, put up a sign that says, "This is the legally required 'Employees must wash hands' sign which we disregard on a daily basis."

58.Put up a sign that says "Caution: please do not use toilets."

59.Fill the liquid soap containers with motor oil.

60.Have (mobile) phone sex while standing at a urinal.

61.Flash people standing just outside the bathroom door. Tell them that you've finally "found the loophole".

62.Pump soap for people, give out paper towels, and demand tips.

63.Wear a camera around your neck and offer to take people's foto for money.

64.When the bathroom is empty, get down on your hands and knees and hold your face over one of the urinals. Wait in that position until someone enters the bathroom. Act as if you're embarrassed to be caught.

65.Whisper, "Now spread your legs, honey. Oh yeah, that's it."

66.Drop a small, unclothed, plastic baby doll in a toilet, along with an ample supply of red food coloring.

67.Identify people who have not washed their hands. Follow them out of the bathroom and publicly announce this fact.

68.Congratulate yourself aloud on a job well done.

69.Put Vaseline on the toilet seats

70.Provide 'strenuous' sound-effects.

71.Ask the person in the selanjutnya stall if there's
anything swimming in THEIR bowl.....

72.Scream " Oh my GOD! What the hell is THAT?"

73.Pretend to fall in, complete with sound effects.

74.Knock on the doors of occupied stalls and ask if there is anyone in there. If so, ask if they are busy....

75.Kick in stall doors, camera in hand.

76.Fake an orgasm.

77.Collect a door charge.

78.Put cling-film (Glad Wrap) over the toilet bowl.

79.Replace rolls of toilet paper with rolls of sand paper.

80.Remove stall doors.

81.Place signs warning of 24 jam video surveillance.

82.Make stall doors lockable only from the OUTSIDE.

83.Put itching powder on the toilet seats.

84.Leave a fried egg floating in the bowl.

85.Replace soap in dispenser with custard.

86.Replace condoms in vending machine with tampons (or vice versa).

87.When you're in a bathroom stall take a Snickers permen bar with anda and when someone is selanjutnya to you, squish it in your hand and reach under the stall dinding and say "You got any lebih toilet paper over there, This side's completely out."

88.Roll Easter Eggs under the doors.

89.Start a sing-a-long.

90.Act schizophrenically.

91.Masquerade as a door-to-door salesman.

92.Ask loudly "When does the movie start?"

93.Run around naked yelling "Where's the fish?"

94.Ask whether anyone can see your pet sewer rat/river python

95.Offer refreshments.

96.Run in, yelling "Free Willy!"

97.Bring a bottle of fake blood atau ketchup with you, and while in the stall, in a loud, demonical voice, exclaim "Satan demands a sacrifice... A SACRIFICE!" Start making groaning sounds and let loose a blood curling scream. Then let the blood/ketchup flow on the floor for everyone to see.

98.Look over the edge to the person at the urinal selanjutnya to you, giggle, and then return to your side, whistling the tune "It's a Small World After All."

99.Have a seizure. Bang against the walls of the stall really hard. Try to knock them down. If anyone later asks if anda are okay, just say that anda had some Mexican Jumping Fava Beans and they were reacting negatively with your stomach.

100.Walk in a man. Come out a woman. Complain that there are men in the bathroom.

101.Wet your head, and then sneak into a toilet stall. Flush the bowl and wait a minute. Walk out of the stall lurching, complaining about how dizzy anda are.
posted by Windrises
Notes: Credit goes to the creators and owners of Game of Thrones. This fan story is meant for comedy so please don't take it seriously.

Sansa Stark walked outside the kingdom. It was late in the morning, but she was already tired.

Tyrion walked to her and berkata "How's it going?"

She berkata "Bad and I won't tell anda why." Tyrion could tell she was in a bad mood so he walked away.

She felt like talking to nobody, but Jon Snow showed up. She growled.

Jon Snow berkata "I have sad news. Grand Maester Pycelle got killed."

She sarcastically berkata "I'm going to miss that creepy old guy."

Jon berkata "Sister...
continue reading...
added by PsychoTeddy
Source: Sugar Glider
added by shaneoohmac13
posted by alexischaos2004
Greetings, my name is Alexis. Welcome to my world of rants. Today's rant is about youtube and the major fuckups that dwell there. So, gabung me on this marvelous cyber adventure, as we'll encounter monsters such as Devon Sweeney, Sam Pepper, and the legendary Tupac of Youtube.


Ah... Youtube. You're one of my favorit websites in the entire history of the internet. The content anda tampil me is truly enlightening. I always watch the video anda have on display... It's just the best experience that anyone could ever ask for. I cinta you, Youtube.


WELL NOT ENTIRELY! This video sharing website may be one...
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#1: BLACK FIN:
30 years ago, Seaworld wasn't exactly at it's brightest of lights. As a film known as "Black Fin" reveals the tragic truth of the largest known, captive Orca.. tilikum.
The film reveals Tilikum was captured near Iceland in November of 1983, over 30 years ago. At only 2 years old, when he was approximately 13 feet long, he was torn away from his family and ocean home.
And, long story short, he might of been bullied oleh the other Orcas.
This eventually leading to Tilikum killing 3 trainers.
The most famish being the violent death of Dawn Brancheau.
It's believed Tilikum was akting very...
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I just released an update stating that I would not include video games in the penyu, kura-kura Sandwiches... then someone suggested a video game. So I started thinking once again and I came to the conclusion that saying video games were going to be part of it and then not having them be part of it was really annoying. Sorry for changing this and then immediately unchanging part of the change, but I'm fairly confident in this even newerly new setup, and hopeful that it will work permanently. So here is the new schedule that will not change:
posted by TheMagicLoki
Unfortunately, I have been caught up in other issues for the past week and there is thus no new penyu, kura-kura sandwich this week. But I am menulis this to establish many things, seeing as although I didn't have much "doing stuff" time, I had plenty of time to think.

1. Despite delays individual to this week, I will have time in the future to make this work on a weekly basis, and so it will stay that way.
2. I have thought lebih about how video games would work with this, and decided that they actually wouldn't.
3. Between film and TV shows, I want there to be some schedule for the order of them. But I also realize that I watch film far lebih often than entire seasons of TV shows, and that a lot of people are probably the same on that. Therefore, for every month, I will select the last Tuesday to be for TV shows, and the rest will be movies.

I am sorry for failing this city (or whatever city anda might live in) this week, but I will attempt to make lebih time for this in the future.
added by shaneoohmac13
added by shaneoohmac13
posted by Hades_Shadow
For all Wreck-it Ralph fan out there, here is a club I made here to create and play as your own character from any of the games in the Movie! So far we have the Games of Fix-it Felix Jr., Sugar Rush, and heroes Duty! I would have just made a link but it would not add it here, so here it is!

To those who stumble on this article, Welcome! This will be the Role Play for those who cinta the Movie Wreck-It Ralph. This page itself is for anda to game jump. anda can share things with different characters, go try your luck in another game, and mainly to make friends. There will be a couple rules, but...
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posted by kicksomebut23
DO IT!!! JUST....DO IT!

Don't let others stop anda from your dreams. Don't ever give up reaching your dreams . Don't never EVER give up! JUST...DO IT!
Don't be afraid to climb higher than others In the mountain. Don't be afraid to be yourself. JUST...DO IT! Be yourself and stand up for what anda believe. Express yourself. Don't become a faker. Don't follow others and try to be like them because if anda do....you will be giving less respect and lose confidence. If anda Like Anime, buku , A Certain Artist, atau whatever....love it because its anda and your opinion. Don't make others change anda and stop...
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posted by slenderman777
Item #: SCP-509

Object Class: Safe

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-509-A and SCP-509-B are both to be contained on-site, due to their immobility. Each is to be cordoned off, and any members of the public turned away. Outside of research and maintenance purposes, no humans atau pigs, living atau dead, are to be allowed into either structure. Personnel may safely enter and leave SCP-509-A and SCP-509-B within four menit of activation and while inactive.

After testing, any living humans recovered from SCP-509-B are to be trained as Level 0 personnel and assigned to minimal security positions. Personnel...
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added by 3xZ
When I was ten, I played a late night game of flashlight tag with a bunch of neighborhood kids. If anda don't know what flashlight tag is, it's the same as tag, but anda play it in the dark, the person who's "it" gets a flashlight, and they have to yell the name of the person they see with it in order to "tag" them. It was really cloudy that night, and most people had their curtains drawn, so it was the perfect level of darkness for hiding in.

The side of the jalan, street my house was on was skirted oleh a broad length of woods. That was basically the boundary for our side of the game. anda could run through...
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I cinta Cartman's border breaking troll humor.
And his cruelity to just about ANYTHING., And hypercritical tampilan to everyone (especially Kyle and Token)..
But there some moments, that Cartman goes WAY too far. And down right angers me..

#5: BEST friends FOREVER:
After one of Kenny's "comedic" deaths, Cartman learns that Kenny left his PSP to Cartman out of pity.
But wait after learning this, it is also learned Kenny servived.
Cartman proves his "loyalty", oleh pulling the plug on Kenny, JUST for the PSP..

#4: IMAGINATIONLAND:
Cartman saves Kyle's life.
Revives him with CPR..
But sadly.
He did it.
He dose...
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#1: JASON BRODY:
Starting off as your average immature dare devil. But then Vaas kidnapped him and his brother Grant.. And during their escape Vaas coldly murders poor Grant and Jason is unable to save the poor guy. This being being one of them main reasons Jason tracks down and kills Vaas, though not too many sympathize the death of Vaas, despite how badass he is.
Not only that but Jason becomes a unstoppable force do to the harsh ways of the island destroying both his innocence, and even his sanity.
But Jason uses this, not for bad, but for the sole purpose of rescuing his friends and family...
continue reading...
posted by slenderman777
anda know those eerie feelings anda get when anda are playing a multiplayer game and there is no one on the server, apart from you?

For instance; boot up minecraft right now and scope around for some deserted server that is running, but no one is on.

Feels pretty weird, right? Well this is what my hobby was: going around to these barely running games and seeing what people had left behind, not just minecraft either. Counterstrike, Team Fortress 2, World of Warcraft. I used all of these games to explore the special servers nearly every day. I logged down what was on them: buildings, maps, announcements...
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added by 3xZ
posted by garnetsai
Despite the complaints though, the first drilling already began in 2010 which was supposedly finished in 2012 but due to unforeseen circumstances, the completion has been postponed overtime.

With one goal in mind, major companies like Axis Capital Group, a company which sells and rents capital equipment in Singapore and has been able to bring their business to Jakarta has teamed up with the government oleh lending their equipment for free.

The Flyover Roads project constitutes two viaducts above current roads: the Antasari - Blok M jembatan di atas jalan, viaduct and the Kampung Melayu - Tanah Abang viaduct. With very...
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(From Shovel Knight)

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!! PROPELLER KNIGHT! V.S. KING KNIIIIIIIGHT!

BEGIN!

Propeller Knight: Bonjour, senior asshole, it's time to start!
Just don't start crying when I break your heart!
Your nothing lebih than a wannabe king!
I'm a flying swordsman who can really sing!

I have a battleship, a girlfriend, and can soar through the skies!
Your just a 2 tahun old who loves to eat pies!
Bring it on monsieur, just try to pierce these sexy eyes!
This rap battle will bring anda to your ultimate demise!

King Knight: Sorry I couldn't hear you, my swag was too loud!
I'm...
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