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How do I become sarcastic?
CANADA24; anda answer pertanyaan such as THIS one.


My house is on fire, what do I do?
CANADA24; anda get off the fuckin computer and go outside!


Can anda get pregnant from watching porn?
CANADA24; Only on wednesdays.


Every time I drink alcohol I feel sad.
CANADA24; Your not drinking ENOUGH of it!


I was having sex with my sister and got a cramp in my leg.
CANADA24; GOOD!


Why are bayi ugly at first?
CANADA24; anda try living inside a woman's vigina for so long!


How do I become a Justin Bieber fan?
CANADA24; anda take a large blow to the head. Maybe jump off a cliff as a start.


Is it normal to be in cinta with your dog?
CANADA24; anda need help.


Do anda kucing know when your masterbating? I'm asking for a friend?
"Your friend needs to stop smoking so much weed"


Do they have toliet paper in Canada?
CANADA24; Coarse not! We use the flag of whatever country your from.


Is their birds in Canada:
"Obviously anda never seen Alpha and Omega"


What happens if anda paint your teeth white with nail polish?
CANADA24; anda die!


How do I test if my penyu, kura-kura is gay?
"you tampil it your penis, and see if it stares for lebih than 20 seconds"


Are there autographs of Yesus Christ?
CANADA24; No, they were all turned into wine.


How does sex start?
CANADA24; With human contact!


How long can a little girl hold her breathe
CANADA24; 3 weeks.


How do I ask a pertanyaan on Yahoo Answers?
CANADA24; anda JUST DID!!


How do anda tell which side of the potato chip is saltier?
CANADA24; Take it to McDonald's.


Do midgets have night vision?
CANADA24; Only in Mexico.


Can anda lose your virginity if anda fall?
CANADA24; Only if it's off a bike


How do I take care of my pet potato?
"With cinta and a full stomach"


What if the girl that thinks I'm the dad isn't the mom?
CANADA24; ...................... WHAT!?


How do I get accepted into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry?
CANADA24; anda draw a lighting bolt on your fourhead, and buy fullmoon glasses, and take British speaking lessons


Why do my balls smell like ham?
CANADA24; The BETTER pertanyaan is, why were anda smelling it in the first place?


What my wife is going to think about my black crotch on my white body?
"She'll probably call a priest to perform an exorcist"


Why does my screen say "www.bangbros.com" after my son leaves even though he tells me he's doing homework?
CANADA24; It's a porn site... He's "smart" enough to leave the link open.


How can I test if my son is gay?
CANADA24; anda tampil him the Twilight Saga.


My girlfriend has a lazy eye & she's constantly looking at other women, should we break up?
CANADA24; And pass up the chance for a threeway!?.. anda really ARE stupid!


Why is canada a aman, brankas country?
CANADA24; Cause the mighty king angsa gives us food to eat. And perverts say please ad thank after each rape..


Every time I get masterbate, I get angry and throw my penyu, kura-kura against a wall"
CANADA24; I don't think your your doing it right.


halloween falls on a Friday the 13th this tahun for the first time in 666 years. I’m totally stabbing someone.
CANADA24; anda two huh?


The devil has five letters and so does weed:
CANADA24; Good for you, here's a lollipop.


Why are Americans stupid?
CANADA24; Cause they are close to Canada.


Why are ALL Americans obese, stupid and religious?
CANADA24; Because ALL Canadians like hockey.


Is America planning to invade Vancouver?
CANADA24; No, that's Japen"


Do they have trees in America?
CANADA24; Coarse not anda idiot.


Is it legal to live in Canada? also is Canada even a real country atau is it just part of the united states?
CANADA24; anda make me sad.


If anda die in Canada? Do anda die in real life?
CANADA24;No, anda become a reindeer with red nose"


Do they have birds in Canada?
CANADA24; Try membaca a book once in a while"


Why do Canadians speak English?
CANAD24; Maybe the fact we were part of England may have a little bit to do with it.. But who knows.


Are Newfoundlander's and Irish the same thing?
CANADA24; ... Dick!


Will I meet many Americans that live in Toronto?
CANADA24; ..........................


Why would Canadians be against global warming when it will renders huge swaths of Canadian land habitable someday?
CANADA24; anda do realize Canada reaches like 90 degrees most summers!"


Could anda give me saran on a nice and warm jacket? How about the Canada Goose?
CANADA24; Sure.. Find one, and it can talk to you.


Why are Canadians gay?
CANADA24; Cause we have a red flag"


How can I pindah to Canada?
CANADA24; oleh getting off the couch.


Can an 18 tahun old go to Canada?
CANADA24; No.. Too many perverts.


Why did Canada send troops to Afghanistan?
CANADA24; Cause we were bored.


How come Canadians don't seem to be into 'Christianity' as much as the United States?
CANADA24; anda do realize we are nothing BUT christians.


How do anda say "I cinta you?" in Canadian?
CANADA24; oleh ending it with "eh"


Is Canadian easy to learn?
CANADA24; Not really, but easier than learning chineese"


What state is Toronto?
CANADA24; It's part of Florida.


What is the country Canada all about?
CANADA24; Hillybillies and maple syrup.


Dose Canada have a military?
CANADA24; No we have polar bears with stun guns.


What City is Niagara Falls in?
CANADA24; Your mothers.


Are Canadians considered to be Americans?
CANADA24; Yes and Mexicans are considered Russians.


America has a population that is 10 times larger than Canada's. So could the population of Canada easily fit within America?
CANADA24; Yes, but it's a tight squeeze.


JUST CAUSE I SUCKED YOUR COCK, DON'T MEAN WE DATING! I SUCKED YOUR COCK, BUT NOT YOUR HEART!!
CANADA24: This is why hookers don't get paid much.


My kid is NEVER gonna watch Skrek! Disagree all anda want! Beautiful people don't go with ugly people! My daughter would grow up thinking she should change cause some ugly boy likes her! Why didn't shrek change for Fiena!? Beautiful people are strong, ugly people are not! Why couldn't he change for Fiona!? Because woman have to do everything!
CANADA24; Try watching shrek 2 dumbass..


I don't want my baby boy to he straight, I want it gay.. If it's straight, I'll put it to adoption straight away!
CANADA24; Don't worry sweetheart, if your his first impression of what a woman is, he'll either be gay atau a serial killer..


Who trying to get me pregnant? I'll abort it oleh summer.
CANADA24; Good idea, can't have lebih of your kind running around..


If anda hadn't lost your viginity oleh 14, your a fucking loser, kill yourself! No offence.
CANADA24; Stop playing CoD online and fix that gas leak..


I put my hand down my pants to adjest my balls, now my palm smells! #Gross
CANADA24; #NoShit!


If Trump becomes president I'm moving back to Hawaii! Fuck America!
CANADA24; Yeah, lets get away from America and live in Texas..


Gay rights! Woman rights! Gays and woman should be monitored!
CANADA24;And pizza should be protected oleh law.


#14:
I'm not a hooker! I just make money while being sexually pleasured, okay!
CANADA24; That's still a hooker..


9/11 was a true tragedy for females. So many woman lost there lives, and there husbands.. And who was responsible? MEN! Males destroyed the world trade centre cause deep down inside, they all have the mind set of barbarians. As a female, I’m glad our brains have developed to recognize good and evil.
CANADA24; This is real people! These people are real!


#16:
Another reporter was killed today. I think the only solution is to create a Muslim holocaust. Put them in construction camps, and exterminate them from this world!
CANADA24; HEIL HITLAR!!


Saw my son’s penis at a scan today. #Impressed #Proud
CANADA24; #GetHelp!


If being Gay is natural, where are the gay babies!?
CANADA24; They are still in the lab..


This is PSA to men. When we say something and anda disagree pretend to agree anyway. Cause when we hear “no your wrong” we get scared. With the amount of rape culture, we take it as a sign that your silencing us. And if anda continue to do so just cause anda arrogantly believe woman are wrong, than it’s a slippery slope to Misogyny and abuse.
CANADA24; Yes, woman are never wrong.. Just ask Elizabeth Bathory


I cinta jealous aggressive guys. That’s right. Beat me. Push me. Get in my face! Don’t ignore my arguments, argue back. Even if your wrong, win the argument. I’m a strong minded stubborn girl, and if anda let me walk all over anda I will. No girl wants a emotionally weak man. She wants a man who can put her in her place!
CANADA24; And the mother of the tahun award goes tooooo
1. We aren’t mind readers!
2. We are not to be used as pawns in trying to make your girlfriends jealous.
3. When anda sleep over never boss me around in tempat tidur unless it is during sex.
4. Smoking is the biggest turn off.
5. It never hurts to work out.
6. If anda don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask the question.
7. “Fine” atau “whatever” is not an appropriate ending to a conversation.
8. If anda want sex, just ask. (In case anda didn’t already know.)
9. Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. (It takes a lot of guys and their wives to come up with those...
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1. Guys hate sluts even though they have sex with them! (oh yeah..you're not "popular" if you've slept with lebih than 5 guys..you're a HOE)

2. "Hey, are anda busy?" atau "Are anda doing something?" ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

3... Guys may be flirting around all hari but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they're gonna say so there aren't awkward pauses, but once he's on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

5. Guys go crazy over a girl's...
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I got bored, so here anda go.


1. BlueEyedDemon

2. SuicidalSlut

3. MaliciousIntent

4. GloomyTears

5. Blacklight

6. DarkSunshine

7. FallenIsolation

8. DrowningInTears

9. DismalAngel

10. FallenSolitude

11. HopingInSolitude

12. SilentCall

13. CountingOnRain

14. CalledForMishap

15. RuefulDestiny

16. FallenAngel

17. KilledByAnAngel (I know for a fact it's taken on here oleh my twin sis but I made it up)

18. FlamingCore

19. Darkenin(g)InRegret (The G could be taken off if there is a 15 character like on Fanpop)

20.Itrieditathome

21. RunWithScissors

22. PlaydateWithFire (Over 15 characters but... I like it)

23. RejectedStar...
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1.In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes. I'll have twenty.
2.Sometimes anda make me so mad i wanna throw anda in the middle of on-going traffic; but then i realize i would probably kill myself trying to save you.
3.im the type of girl who would burst out laughing in the middle of silence because of something that happened... yesterday.
4.so ill walk the plank & jump with a smile if im going down ill do it in style anda wont hear me surrender.
5.the truth hurts so we lie
6.silence is golden, duct tape is silver
7.i know your probably thinking oh no she didnt but i just so totally...
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posted by iluvsmj
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse!

Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what the hell happen to you?

Right now I'm sitting here looking at anda trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.

A pretty girl can ciuman a guy* a bird can ciuman a butterfly* the rising sun can ciuman the grass* but anda my friend!! yes you!! anda CAN ciuman MY ASS*******

If anda didn't have feet anda wouldn't wear shoes.....then why do anda wear a bra??!

mirrors don't talk but lucky for anda %n they don't laugh

Poof be gone, your breath is too strong, I...
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44 Ways to Make a Girl Happy

Ladies, this will make anda tear up :)

Fellas, read all of it:)

1-Touch her waist.

2-Talk to her.

3-Share secrets.

4-Give her your jacket.

5-Kiss her slowly.

Are anda remembering this?

6-Hug her.

7-Hold her.

8-Laugh with her.

9-Invite her somewhere.

10-Let her be with anda when you're with your friends.

Keep reading...

11-Smile with her.

12-Take pics with her.

13-Pull her onto your lap.

14-When she says she loves anda more, deny it. fight back.

15-When her friends say i cinta her lebih than you, deny it; fight back and hug her tight so she can't get...
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I never thought I would be doing a daftar like this because when I do lists based on looks it's on women. As a straight guy, it's easier for me to rank women than men. However, when I put my mind to something I try my best to come through. I had already done this daftar with women and I remember being asked if I would ever do it with men, so here it is. Keep in mind this is all just my personal opinion as a straight guy and it wasn't easy to figure out AT ALL! Please komentar but be polite. Also, always komentar because I worked HARD on this and during a time I had just had laser eye surgery and...
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42 Things That Will Make Your Parents Go Crazy.

1. Follow them around the house everywhere...

2. Moo when they say your name...

3. Run into walls...

4. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion...

5. Stand over them at four in the morning with a huge grin on your face and say, good morning sunshine...

6. Pluck someone's hair out and yell, "DNA"...

7. Wear a sticker that says, "I'm a retard"...

8. Have 20 imaginary friends that anda talk to all the time...

9. In public yell, "No Mom/Dad, I will not make out with you!!"...

10. Do what they actually tell you...

11. Jump off the roof, trying...
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posted by CoaxochYJ
My suicide note that I threw away cuz of my awesome friends and life I wanted to keep.

To the friends, I call my family,

By the time anda read this letter, I will be only a faded memory.

A corpse on the cold bathroom floor.

It is too late for me now, and I know it.

Even as I write this letter I can feel the life draining out of me.

But I feel it, so that's something, right?

I have been dead for a while now, though anda may not have noticed.

I died the night I couldn't cinta you, my love.

I loved anda with everything.

My heart, my body and soul.

I am sorry I wasn't good enough for you.

At least you're happy....
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posted by Bubblekat
1. Go around stores, pick up items and yell out really loudly "Who buys this CRAP anyway?!"

2. Get a cart, get on the bar below the bar anda grip, and push it down the isle, extra points for running into something atau someone

3. Go up to a acak person and say "you have pretty eyes, may I have your eyes?!" and hear to see what they say

4. Laugh randomly

5. If someones talking on a cellphone Go closer to them and start maki acak noises to disturb them, extra points if they hang up

6. If your near a air mancur run to it and start splashing in it

7. If your mom starts nagging to anda in public about the...
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I'm a girl pervert!I say guys are crazy cuz they think I touch their butts!I blame it on their hormones even though I touched their butts alot!

1.Be a real pervert

2.You don't have to look like one but just act like one

3.Always when you're walking behind a guy always look at their butt!And say"say veiw" then touch it nice and gently! :)

4.They look back and ask anda say'what?no way especially not your flat ass!!!!"when they turn around find another butt to look at!

5.Look at their muscles when they're wearing kemeja sleeve shirts and they're doing heavy lifting

6.Take pictures as well

7.Always comment...
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posted by fencingrocks
No, I'm not racist I just found it on youtube.

If anda want to check it out link

59. Goldstein
58. Burgenblatt
57. Burgenstein
56. Birumbaum
55. Farbstein
54. Grepslach
53. Steinbergavinski
52. Schnitzler
51. Pupikatvitz
50. Schnitzelmacher
49. Schpoilgekatz
48. Manashevitz
47. Platzenfinkle
46. Yankelovitz
45.Shteinshtein
44. Oyvayski
43. Shmoigerberg
42. Choppedleiberman
41.Zilbershpitzanhimelfarbenfleishebien
40.Gefiltafarb
39. Gefiltashlep
38. B'Bergberg
37. Yidihevitz
36. Synagogavitz
35. Parkenfien
34. LOL they forgot this one... :D
33. Kinkenberg
32. Menachemchem
31. Rechtum
30. Along with this one
29. Docotrlawyerstein...
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posted by Lady10358
Found this on google
1. If you're lucky enough and find someone with the shirt: FREE HUGS atau If anda find a kemeja store selling it, hug the shirt/person and if they/someone notices you, say "It says free hugs!"
2. go to the food court and go to a fast food place and take tons of straws and put as many possible in your mouth and stand on a meja bernyanyi elmo's world theme.
3. Go to one of those toddler toy/clothing stores and hold up a baby outfit/toy and yell as loud as anda can "I cinta THIS TOY! I'D PLAY WITH IT hari AND NIGHT!"
4. Go to the bathroom and hide in a stall until anda see an old lady/guy...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
my friend sent me this text message a while yang lalu and i thought it was hilarious!!!




i need to ask anda somethingand i want anda to be totally honest with me. it may be awkward between us after this but i have to kow how anda feel... I've kept it in for a while now but now it's time to be straight up and just confront you. i hope this doesn't ruin anything we have, i just need to know and i dont see any other way i could get over this. it just doesn't seem fair if i dont gett an answer. i want anda to tell me truthfully, please no matter how harsh it is. i just want your hoest opinion...

Pepsi atau Coke?



Ha ha ha ha !!!
Funny.
added by xxXsk8trXxx
1.I like pie

2.Blue isn't blue until blue turns blue and when blue turns blue it's possibly blue and when blue turns blue, blue is orange.

3.My cat can fly. I taught him to the other day.

4.Dog food is a beautiful thing to watch when anda are eating!

5.BLACK HEAD!!!!!!!!

6.Butterfly fly away, because I'm your biggest fan, and I got a feeling that you'll shine on like the Moonstone high at the end of time.

7.Heeeeeeeloo!

8. My name is Cow. I like purple. My name is purple. I like cows. In the end, the odds come together and we get out alive.

9. I'M IN HELL WHENEVER I'M AROUND POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!

10. Fartblossom!

11.Pip-pip cheerio! (In and English accent.)

12. Your face is disorted when anda sleeeeeep.

13. Bye berkata Santa while eating Blitzen.
added by XxKeithHarkinxX
Source: google
just got this while browsing the net

1.I was kidnapped oleh terrorists and they only just let me go, so I didn't have time to do it.

2.I didn't do it because I didn't want to add to my teacher's heavy workload.

3.A bunch of nerds mencuri it to make sure theirs were completely perfect.

4.We ran out of toilet paper at my house last night, and my Dad isn't feeling so good. He grabbed it in a big rush and I haven't seen it since.

5.My mother took it to have it framed.

6.It was in my back pocket and a pickpocket mencuri it.

7.I let somebody copy it but they never gave it back.

8.My mom's whooping cough vaccination...
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posted by IsabellaMCullen
I didn't make this, I just found it...


1.Stick your open palm under the stall dinding and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"

2.Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that."

3.Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.

4.Say, "Damn, this water's cold."

5.Drop a marble and say, "Oh shit! My glass eye!"

6.Say, "Hmmm, I've never seen that color before."

7.Grunt and strain real loud for 30 detik and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.

8.Say, "Now how did that get there?"

9.Say, "Humus....
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posted by slytherin360
found this on the net:

50 Fun Things To Do At Wal-Mart

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten menit intervals throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people anda can get to gabung in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department oleh sampling all the spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins...
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