Okay so a quick tampil of hands, who here remembers Afro Samurai? Very few of you, I’m sure. Afro Samurai is a thing… and it definitely happened. Okay, I rag on it, but there was definitely effort put into this bizarre idea. A black swordsman travels across a land of feudal Japan. A feudal jepang containing cell phones and robots and Kanye West bears. But effort was put into this, atau at least money. Afro Samurai was voiced oleh Samuel L. Jackson, musik was done oleh RZA of the Wu-Tang Clan, and the anime itself was animated oleh Studio Gonzo and won awards for it’s animation. So naturally, with any populer property in Japan, they gotta make merch on it. Including video games. Afro Samurai got two (technically) video games. The first one released for 360 and PS3, and it was… fine. It wasn’t no Bayonetta, but it was tolerable. But then we get to the sequel for Xbox One and PS4. And if anda are a die hard Afro Samurai fan. 1. I’m sorry and 2. I hope anda weren’t looking to add this game to your list, because anda can’t play it. Afro Samurai 2: Revenge of Kuma was planned to be an episodic game, but it only got one episode because the first episode was so bad, that the studio, Versus Evil, cancelled the other two episodes, issued refunds to everyone, and took the game off the store, and even cancelled the Xbox One release. So, I don’t know if I’m lucky atau not, but… I do have Afro Samurai 2 on my PS4… yay me.
So Afro Samurai 2 follows not Afro, but his rival Kuma, who is now seeking redemption after his defeat oleh Afro and hopes to claim his judul as the Number One Headband holder (It makes sense in context but is still stupid). So the cutscenes are just these still gambar of characters with no movement and the voice of Yuri Lowenthal narrating the still images. anda didn’t have to do this, Yuri! Was the paycheck that tempting? But don’t worry, the still gambar go away, because apparently even that was too expensive. So instead, they use something else. Remember when I berkata I don’t mind using comic book visuals in your cutscenes? Well how about fucking black and white concept art? This is just desperate for cutscenes now. They aren’t even trying. So we finally get to the gameplay and we are tasked with following this little girl who is glowing. And I don’t mean that in a complimenting way, I mean she looks like she is actually glowing, like she’s fucking radiated. Also, there’s a short cutscene that plays where she points at an item, and me, out of instinct, holds down the control stick and ends up falling off a cliff and dying, and I get sent back to the very start of the cutscene… oh, this is just the tutorial mission. So we finally get a tutorial on the combat, the main thing in this game, and it is… rough. Your sword doesn’t seem to make contact with the enemies, but the game just goes, “Good enough” and anda get the kill anyway. It’s not on DMC2 levels of rough, but hoo boy, this is something.
So we jump to a flashback sequence where an enemy from a distance aims a crossbow at me… in a storyboard… The first Afro Samurai game wasn’t polished, but holy shit, at least the enemy aiming a ranged weapon at anda wasn’t limited to a fucking storyboard. Also glitches… lots of them in this flashback. I remember when my childhood halaman awal allowed me to glitch into the ravine and I got stuck. Good times. Then we go back to the present and with a lot of dinding climbing before we are grabbed oleh a massive mountain man atop his mountain. Atop his photoshopped mountain with a mountain in the background ripped straight from google images. Look, I found the exact same photo. Fuck anda game. But no time for that, we gotta gouge out an old mans eyes in an awkward QTE- What the fuck is happening in this stupid game!? So we are on chapter 4 now, yes, really, this game is on it’s fourth chapter and I still haven’t done anything related to hacking and slashing yet, and we follow another little girl through some lebih backstory and get prompts such as “Confront the pain of failing to save your family”... that’s pretty funny, I won’t lie. So we meet Justice, the main villain of the first game and a cowboy (Same thing as before) who is just sitting in a chair, talking…. For a looong while. It wouldn’t be bad, since the characters change from Justice to Afro, but it’s so boring. It’s just a slow spinning camera around him. It’s so dull. And then we jump to chapter fucking six. Oh, I’ve had enough. That’s the catchphrase of this whole thing. I’ve had enough. And I’ve most certainly had enough.
So that was Afro Samurai 2: Revenge of Kuma. I can’t believe they only released the first episode. How will we know what happened to our dear friend Kuma… Oh wait, I don’t care. Revenge of Kuma is a game that is lebih uninteresting and boring than the first Afro Samurai game. At least the first game had polish and… effort. Revenge of Kuma is a buggy, boring mess that is incompitent in almost every single way when it comes to making a game. If anda are really desperate for an Afro Samurai game, play the first one. atau play the indie judul Furi, the art was done oleh the guy who did Afro Samurai. Anything but Revenge of Kuma… not that anda could play it anyway, but anda get the point.
So Afro Samurai 2 follows not Afro, but his rival Kuma, who is now seeking redemption after his defeat oleh Afro and hopes to claim his judul as the Number One Headband holder (It makes sense in context but is still stupid). So the cutscenes are just these still gambar of characters with no movement and the voice of Yuri Lowenthal narrating the still images. anda didn’t have to do this, Yuri! Was the paycheck that tempting? But don’t worry, the still gambar go away, because apparently even that was too expensive. So instead, they use something else. Remember when I berkata I don’t mind using comic book visuals in your cutscenes? Well how about fucking black and white concept art? This is just desperate for cutscenes now. They aren’t even trying. So we finally get to the gameplay and we are tasked with following this little girl who is glowing. And I don’t mean that in a complimenting way, I mean she looks like she is actually glowing, like she’s fucking radiated. Also, there’s a short cutscene that plays where she points at an item, and me, out of instinct, holds down the control stick and ends up falling off a cliff and dying, and I get sent back to the very start of the cutscene… oh, this is just the tutorial mission. So we finally get a tutorial on the combat, the main thing in this game, and it is… rough. Your sword doesn’t seem to make contact with the enemies, but the game just goes, “Good enough” and anda get the kill anyway. It’s not on DMC2 levels of rough, but hoo boy, this is something.
So we jump to a flashback sequence where an enemy from a distance aims a crossbow at me… in a storyboard… The first Afro Samurai game wasn’t polished, but holy shit, at least the enemy aiming a ranged weapon at anda wasn’t limited to a fucking storyboard. Also glitches… lots of them in this flashback. I remember when my childhood halaman awal allowed me to glitch into the ravine and I got stuck. Good times. Then we go back to the present and with a lot of dinding climbing before we are grabbed oleh a massive mountain man atop his mountain. Atop his photoshopped mountain with a mountain in the background ripped straight from google images. Look, I found the exact same photo. Fuck anda game. But no time for that, we gotta gouge out an old mans eyes in an awkward QTE- What the fuck is happening in this stupid game!? So we are on chapter 4 now, yes, really, this game is on it’s fourth chapter and I still haven’t done anything related to hacking and slashing yet, and we follow another little girl through some lebih backstory and get prompts such as “Confront the pain of failing to save your family”... that’s pretty funny, I won’t lie. So we meet Justice, the main villain of the first game and a cowboy (Same thing as before) who is just sitting in a chair, talking…. For a looong while. It wouldn’t be bad, since the characters change from Justice to Afro, but it’s so boring. It’s just a slow spinning camera around him. It’s so dull. And then we jump to chapter fucking six. Oh, I’ve had enough. That’s the catchphrase of this whole thing. I’ve had enough. And I’ve most certainly had enough.
So that was Afro Samurai 2: Revenge of Kuma. I can’t believe they only released the first episode. How will we know what happened to our dear friend Kuma… Oh wait, I don’t care. Revenge of Kuma is a game that is lebih uninteresting and boring than the first Afro Samurai game. At least the first game had polish and… effort. Revenge of Kuma is a buggy, boring mess that is incompitent in almost every single way when it comes to making a game. If anda are really desperate for an Afro Samurai game, play the first one. atau play the indie judul Furi, the art was done oleh the guy who did Afro Samurai. Anything but Revenge of Kuma… not that anda could play it anyway, but anda get the point.
•Everyone in this place is unhappy. And since they're unhappy, they're probably looking for someone worse off than they are.
•You know who isn't human? anda know who isn't human?! PEOPLE LIKE YOU!
•Up to this day, I've never killed a single human.
•You will never see me again.
•I was going to let anda go; after all, there aren't many of us out there, but you're just such a pain in the ass.
•Please forget about everything.
•Are anda enjoying this?
Kouta: "I thought we were friends."
Lucy: "We are friends, that's why you're still alive."
Kouta: "You killed my father, Kanae.. and my sister Kanae... For that I will never forgive you."
Lucy: "All this time, I've lived in hope of telling anda how sorry I am, I've fought armies, just to have this chance, but now, there's nothing I can say that's good enough."
Kurama: "Regret is the domain of those who have earned the right to look back on the past. All I have is shame."
The End
•You know who isn't human? anda know who isn't human?! PEOPLE LIKE YOU!
•Up to this day, I've never killed a single human.
•You will never see me again.
•I was going to let anda go; after all, there aren't many of us out there, but you're just such a pain in the ass.
•Please forget about everything.
•Are anda enjoying this?
Kouta: "I thought we were friends."
Lucy: "We are friends, that's why you're still alive."
Kouta: "You killed my father, Kanae.. and my sister Kanae... For that I will never forgive you."
Lucy: "All this time, I've lived in hope of telling anda how sorry I am, I've fought armies, just to have this chance, but now, there's nothing I can say that's good enough."
Kurama: "Regret is the domain of those who have earned the right to look back on the past. All I have is shame."
The End
… So YIIK is a game
Okay, so a lot of you, atau hell, all of anda are probably asking, “Nik, what the fuck are anda doing this time?” All two of anda that read these will know that I have talked about this game almost a tahun yang lalu on the short lived In-Indie subseries I do, where I mildly praised the game despite how it is. This was around when the game was relatively new and didn’t have much attention aside from the mixed reviews that it had gotten. That is, until a few months later when so much came out about this game. It wasn’t long before YIIK: A Postmodern RPG became pretty much...
continue reading...
Okay, so a lot of you, atau hell, all of anda are probably asking, “Nik, what the fuck are anda doing this time?” All two of anda that read these will know that I have talked about this game almost a tahun yang lalu on the short lived In-Indie subseries I do, where I mildly praised the game despite how it is. This was around when the game was relatively new and didn’t have much attention aside from the mixed reviews that it had gotten. That is, until a few months later when so much came out about this game. It wasn’t long before YIIK: A Postmodern RPG became pretty much...
Let's fuckin do this
