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(THIS artikel IS A JOKE. CALM DOWN MATES. ENJOY :D)

*Cough* I WANNA HANG MYSELF

SO how's it goin' Internet, everyone getting along? It's good to be halaman awal again. :)

Typical Internet Douche: WHO U CALLIN' A WINY BICH U BICH >:(

I was right.....I AM home. :P

So I'm pretty sure that it's common fucking sense at this point that a hilariously large minority of the internet seem to either be five years old, have never gone to school, atau are just mindless retarded sadists who jack off to others pain using grammar worse than that of a goddamn cheese grater.

And today, I'm going to be one of those sadists. To experience what's it like to be on-

♫THE OTHER SIIIIIIDE~♫

(........You know that one line was like, three song references right there. Try to find them all. ;D)

And now.......Without further ado, I'm going to tell anda worthless bastards why your opinion is wrong.

Also, although I don't have any evidence as to why you'd be worthless...........I don't know, just take my word for it.

So first off, anda have to realize something. This ain't the city of Townsville atau some shit like that, this is the INTERNET. We're going to susu your goddamn justifications like no tomorrow as is, so unless anda finally found the fuckin' Da Vinci Code, then keep your god-forsaken trap shut.

Although we can't really make anda do that.....So uh, just listen to us, I suppose. I'm sure it'll work. I mean, why WOULDN'T anda listen to someone who has no power over who anda are and couldn't get your address if they spent their fucking life trying to?

.......You know I can't help but see a flaw in this plan.

Another thing worth noting is that everybody who HAS expressed their half-assed opinions on the internet have NEVER ended up successful. I mean, seriously, just look at these unpopular fucktards!

 So Unpopular!
So Unpopular!


 So Unpopular!
So Unpopular!


Pfft, a few million loyal subscribers? What the hell is that to the world? I bet Donald Trump has lebih attention than these scrub-lords. Hell, even HITLER had lebih subscribers than these two!

....However the hell that works.

Oh, and don't even get me STARTED on how much your opinion will offend the SHIT out of everyone on the Internet. Why anda may ask?

I...Can't really answer that, people are just people, I guess.

And people are absolutely delusional.

anda know, at first this artikel was going to be me akting like an immature fuckwad in the mind of your typical internet douchebag, but I can't take this anymore.

Like, seriously! The amount of logic that these brain-dead nimrods have is really starting to make me pertanyaan my life decisions, like, WHEN did humanity drop SO fucking low?

WHEN THE HELL did EVERYBODY on Earth become a curse-word loving prick who lives to offend others? And I know I should be talking, but for god's sake, this is just a joke.

I curse for the sake of imitating the morons who cinta to use them out of hatred. (And the fact that at this point, it's kind of just who I am.)

See, I could go into all this for hours talking about how cursing is only really wrong when you're actually MAD, and how the Internet seems to be lebih toxic than a fucking abandoned radiation power-plant, but for the sake of time, I shall conclude with a wise quote that I just made up today.

"Anger is like a wrecking ball. It builds nothing, but can destroy everything."

Oh, and for those wondering why this artikel went semi-serious-telling-me-what-I-already-fucking-know-and-have-decided-to-live-with, I'm just getting this out there for the new generation before it's too late.

Because if it weren't for the better people out there, then the country would be lebih done for than the Novaya Zemlya archipelago was in 1961.

....I'll leave now.
added by KateKicksAss
added by KateKicksAss
Source: MAD Magazine
added by KateKicksAss
added by Protegemoi
Source: tumblr.com
added by Ryoga_Rocks
Source: I don't know.
added by r-pattz
Source: oddee.com
added by GeekGirl
added by Kiniko90
added by Wolfdreamer9
Source: Deviantart
added by twilovers
Source: idk ):
added by ladolcevita
Source: Hmmm... Um,well EW.com, Everglow, Mugglenet, me!, forgot the last
posted by ITF
oleh Jami Sassone

The man with the metal rod returns today
He summons me in the most painful way
It burns. It stings. It's scorching hot.
I yell, "please stop!" He will not
Why?

To the rack; I brace for the worst
He violates me again; this time's not the first
Back to my cage, to wonder how long
Yearning for jawaban to what I've done wrong?

Nine months later the answer arrives
I now have someone for whom to survive
Three times I've felt love, one being today
Three times, as well, it's been taken away.
Why?

My susu is for you, not him all
You enjoy what anda eat, but remember my calls
When the cheese melts nicely...
continue reading...
posted by tecna535
pancake can be found in many cultures around the world, although they might not use the same ingredients as pancakes, they are generally similar in taste and texture.

Maple syrup, which goes great with pancakes, is actually a pohon sap, that comes from the maple tree, which is found mostly in the Canadian region.

The French often make a wish while turning the pancake during the cooking process, while holding a coin in the other hand.

The first recipe for pancake were listed in the 15th century, in a English cookbook.

The world's largest pancake was cooked in Roch-dale Manchester in the tahun 1994,...
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NOT SLASH!
Note: I can not freaking write ;3;
--------------------------------
Jaime couldn't believe how much the newest team member, the hyperactive teen speedster from the future, had seemed to enjoy being around him. It seemed whenever they were even in the same room together Bart would rush over to start talking to him. He didn't know why his new friend had liked him so much, he liked everybody on the team, but not near as much as him.

It wasn't anything extremely close, but it was close as two guys could get without being gay. That may sound strange, but it's pretty much the only way one...
continue reading...
posted by sideshowbobbart
1) anda will go slightly out of your way to step on a crunchy looking leaf

2) anda will check the Fridge to see if any food has magically appeared

3)You hate it when its all quiet and anda are eating something crunchy

4) The guy who discovered milk...what was he doing to the cow?

5) When we were little, why were we so scared of our parents counting to three?

6) anda hate it when anda run out of hot water in the middle of a shower

7) It sucks when anda are in the middle of a huge argument and realize anda are wrong

8) anda think of the best thing to say to your rival 10 menit after the right moment

9)...
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Abounding times in your life anda will meet mean atau rude people that anda dislike, but you'll still have to pretend to like them anyway. This artikel will teach anda all about how to deal with them.

1)Look right at them say their name and ask them politely to stop. Keep repeating until their attitude changes atau they stop. Example "Mike, please stop", atau anda can say, "That's not appreciated, please cut that out." Don't keep increasing aggressiveness until the balance of power is equalized, it just will make things worse.
2)Don't try to be better than them, it will make the situation worse. If they...
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One hari a group of girls were having fun and being crazy, laughing and talking to each other in funny voices, careless of what the other kids at school thought of them. A girl walked up to them and told them they were all pathetic losers, giving each of the girls a different insult. She then walked away with her head held high. All the girls looked at each other and burst into laughter. The mean girl turned around and asked
“Why are anda laughing? I just insulted all of anda losers”
“Well, we just find it hilariously pathetic how anda feel anda have to take the time to make fun of us. anda obviously...
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posted by j-bfan7
My name is Chris ,

I am three,

My eyes are swollen..

I cannot see.



I must be stupid,

I must be bad,

What else could have made,

My daddy so mad?



I wish I were better,

I wish I weren't ugly

, Then maybe my mommy,

Would still want to hug me.



I can't do a wrong,

I can't speak at all,

Or else I'm locked up,

All hari long.



When I'm awake,

I'm all alone,

The house is dark,

My folks aren't home.



When my mommy does come home,

I'll try and be nice,

So maybe I'll just get,

One whipping tonight.



I just heard a car,

My daddy is back,

From Charlie's bar



I hear him curse,

My name is called ,

I press myself,

Against the wall.



I try...
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1. The only bird that can fly backwards is the hummingbird.

2. The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.

3. A goldfish has a memory span of 3 seconds!

4. A tikus survive longer without water than a camel.

5. Toupees for anjing are sold in Tokyo

6. A ikan lumba-lumba, lumba-lumba sleeps with one eye open

7. A buaya can't stick it's tounge out

8. A mammal's blood is red, an insect's blood is yellow, and a lobster's blood is blue!

9. Loud, fast musik makes termites chew faster

10. A blue whale's tounge weighs lebih than a elephant

11. Ablutophobia is the fear of bathing

12. Acarophobia is the fear of itching

13. Agyrophobia...
continue reading...