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posted by XxLalasaysxX
Here are my daftar of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let anda know now i got alot of these from the youtube channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything atau eating anything anda might spit it atau something.)

#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.

#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)

#3 Why was the sapu late to work?
It overswept!

#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the teluk, da? they'd be bagels.

#5 What's Michelle Obama's favorit vegetable?
Barackoli (broccoli)

#6 Why does the jamur have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)

#7 What do anda call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)

#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.

#9 What do anda call a pencil without lead?
Pointless!

#10 How do anda make an octopus giggle ten times?
anda give him ten-tickles (tenticles)

#11 How do anda make lady gaga cry?
Poker face!

#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
A decomposer!

#13 What's a chicken's favorit composer?
Bach!

#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between anda and me man, something smells." (Your nose)

#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."

#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."

#17 Why can't anda hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)

#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher berkata it was a piece of cake.

#19 Why did the tomat blush?
It saw the salad dressing.

#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
"Ruff!" (Rough)

#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)

#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.

#23 How do anda know if it's raining kucing and dogs?
anda step in a poodle (puddle)

#24 How do anda know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)

#25 How do anda get pikachu on a bus?
anda pokemon (pok 'em on)

#26 Why can't anda dress with pikachu in the room?
He'll pikachu (peek at you)

#27 What do anda call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)

#28 How do get holy water?
anda boil the hell out of it!

#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD

#30 Why didn't the skeleton menyeberang, salib the road?
He didn't have the guts to.

#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)

#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)

#33 What do anda call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator

#34 What's berwarna merah muda, merah muda and fluffy?
berwarna merah muda, merah muda fluff
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
berwarna merah muda, merah muda fluff holding it's breath.

#35 What happens when anda drink 7 coca colas?
anda burp 7up

#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.

#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle!

#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.

#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)

#40 what did the ikan say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
LAST ONE!

#41 Why can't anda trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)

Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope anda liked them. Make sure anda check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...
 PewDiePie
PewDiePie
posted by nmdis
"My Dilemma"
You make me so upset sometimes
I feel like I could lose my mind...
The conversation goes nowhere
Because you're never gonna take me there...

And I know, what I know
And I know you're no good for me
Yeah I know, what I know
And I know it's not meant to be

Here's my dilemma
One half of me wants ya
And the other half wants to forget
My-my-my dilemma
From the moment I met ya
I just can't get anda out of my head

And I tell myself to run from you
But I find myself attracted to my dilemma,
My dilemma, it's you, it's you
Your eyes have told a thousand lies
But I believe them when they look in mine...
I heard...
continue reading...
I am adding this because we seem to need some decent lyrics diposting to this club.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We used to swim the same moonlight waters
Oceans away from the wakeful day

My fall will be for you
My cinta will be in you
If anda be the one to cut me
I'll bleed forever

Scent of the sea before the waking of the world
Brings me to thee
Into the blue memory

My fall will be for you
My cinta will be in you
If anda be the one to cut me
I will bleed forever

Into the blue memory

A siren from the deep came to me
Sang my name my longing
Still I write my songs about that dream of mine
Worth everything I may...
continue reading...
"So girls," berkata mrs. Green. "This is our new home!"
Jocelyn and Erin set their suit cases down. 
"So why'd we have to pindah to Britain?" asked Erin. 
"Well maybe anda can make some new friends." answered Mrs. Green. 
Erin and Jocelyn looked at each other. 
"Since when does that happen." they berkata in unison. 
"Why don't anda go explore the house." berkata Mrs. Green. 
The girls went up stairs. Jocelyn turned on the sink. The water sparkled with emas and pelangi streaks. 
"Hey, Erin, check this out." she said, sticking her hand in. She imidiatly felt wind blowing on her hand. A kuda tail brushed...
continue reading...
anda can read it in the papers
In some places it comes in thirty-two flavors
But anda wouldn't tell no one
Your favorit if anda could

From the White House to the alleys
From the President down to Long Tall Sally
Can't live with it but
You'll die without it, yes anda would

Senorita’s in the kitchen
She's a fistful of dynamite
You call 911 but you
Can't stop the fun tonight, it's alright

You can't start a api without a spark
But there's something that I guarantee
You can't hide when infection starts
Because cinta is a social disease
Love is a social disease, uh-huh

Where anda look anda can find it
Try to run but...
continue reading...
posted by randomgirl3000
I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat oleh the river and it made me complete

Oh simple thing where have anda gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh simple thing where have anda gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and...
continue reading...
Now that you're gone, I can see
What was going on and how anda lied
When anda berkata you'd never cinta again

Your friends telephone and they say
You weren't out alone last night
Can anda see that this broken jantung is killing me

Another night is falling
And now my jantung is calling anda back to me

Come back, 'cause I need your love
Back, got to have your love
Come back, bring your loving back to me

Come back, 'cause it's been so long
Back, and I can't go on
Come back, bring your loving back to me

You play with words, play with love
Always just your silly way
I'm a fool for I need anda oleh my side again

Now it's too late...
continue reading...
I was lost, then I found you
I never thought it would be this way
Showed anda my heart, I left it unguarded
Like a thief in the night anda mencuri it away

Now you're gone, the pain goes on and on
I still hear anda whispering to me through the shadows of the night

Love lies, you're just a victim of the headlines
You're running on into a cold night
You're just a number to the cinta lies

All alone anda called it survival
He lost at cinta to a stranger's lines
Walking the streets, he’s searching with vengeance
For a face that he dreams of night after night

Time goes on, all signs of life stolen, simple dreams were...
continue reading...
(Switch)
You’re out of this world I’m sure of it
A crazy intuition, you’re off and on
You’re here then gone, come back
A curious condition
And then anda switch right over
It’s weird yeah I know but
Just can’t get a hold of myself

Hey, so strange
You switched in front of me
Hey, you’ve changed
Not like anda used to be
‘Cause anda get in my head and hold my heart
When I’m here you’re there, we’re worlds apart
So reverse your words, get to the start
And switch back to my world

Hey, you’re just
Talking like a machine
Hey, I’m stuck
On every word in between
‘Cause anda get in my head and hold...
continue reading...
(Oh)
Oh
(Crank it up, oh)
I like that, ah
(Oh)
Yeah

Th-th-this beat is hypnotic
I wanna ride like a shofa
Sound of sonic’s
Controlling me just like a robot
I go bionic so D-D-DJ put it on
I’m losing logic and cruising deeper in the zone

(It’s so cinematic
Charismatic
G-got me froze up)
G-got me froze up
(This psychopathic
Beat it something
I need a dose of)
I need a dose of
(I’m systematically
Moving every single bone)
Moving every single bone
(There’s no mechanic
That can understand what I’m on)

Let’s crank it up (Crank it up)
Till the walls cave in
Just crank it up (Crank it up)
Put that record on spin...
continue reading...
It’s just anda and me and there’s no one around
Feel like I’m hanging oleh a thread, it’s a long way down
I’ve been trying to breathe but I’m fighting for air
I’m at an all time low with no place to go
But you’re always there

When everything falls apart
And it seems like the world is crashing at my feet
You like me the best when I’m a mess
When I’m my own worst enemy

You make me feel beautiful
When I have nothing left to prove
And I can’t imagine how I’d make it through
There’s no me without you
No me without you, no, no

You hear what I say when I don’t say a word
You are my rising...
continue reading...
I don’t wanna feel like this
I don’t want to
I don’t want to
I don’t wanna freak anda out
But I
I think I might of berkata too much
Didn’t mean to
Didn’t mean to
Think I might of berkata it’s anda and I

Guess I should leave this behind
Guess I should erase and rewind
But somehow I can’t seem to stay away
I don’t want to sound desperate but I am
And so say that you’ll come around
Guess I should erase and rewind, erase and rewind

I don’t want to stand in line
Like I used to
Like I used to
I don’t want to have to scream and shout
‘Cause I’m the kind of girl that sticks
Like a tattoo
Like a tattoo...
continue reading...
It’s in your eyes, feeling’s can’t be disguised
‘Cause the truth makes me want anda to tell me lies
My biggest fear is crying oceans of tears
I would rather anda not be so sincere

How cold could anda be
What would anda do if anda were me
I’m better off if it’s a mystery

‘Cause I don’t wanna know
If I kissed your lips for the last time
Please don’t say if it’s so
Tell my jantung it’s not goodbye
And do this one thing for me
Make up some stupid story tonight
It’s alright, keep the truth and tell me lies

Something’s not right, cinta is nowhere in sight
I’m not ready to let go, it’s not...
continue reading...
anda told me
There’s no need
To talk it out
‘Cause it’s too late
To proceed
And slowly
I took your words
And walked away

No looking back
I won’t regret, no
I will find my way
I’m broken
But still I have to say

It’s alright, ok
I’m so much better without you
I won’t be sorry
Alright, ok
So don’t anda bother what I do
No matter what anda say
I won’t return
Our bridge has burned down
I’m stronger now
Alright, ok
I’m so much better without you
I won’t be sorry

You played me
Betrayed me
Your cinta was nothing but a game
Portray a role
You took control, I
I couldn’t help but fall
So deep
But now I see things...
continue reading...
Up above the surface I was just a perfect child
But underneath it all I was crazing to be wild
Don’t anda judge oleh the cover it’s so far from what anda see
I’m losing all my patience waiting on anda to believe
I’m suffocating, I can’t breathe

Let me out this cage, I’m not gonna hold back
I’m a break these chains, I’m taking control now
Gonna give anda something to talk about
It’s another side of me
I’m akting out

Set me free, I’m ready to tampil you
This is what I need, it’s time to get dirty
I’m a tampil what I’m talking about
It’s another side of me
I’m akting out

Welcome to a new...
continue reading...
Suddenly I, am in front of the lights
Everything, I’m feeling
Scary and beautiful at the same time
And every day, I try just to breathe
I want to tampil the whole world
The truth inside of me
Suddenly people know my name
Suddenly everything has changed
Suddenly I feel so alive
In the blink of an eye
My dreams begin to rain
Suddenly time, it feels like the wind
It changes everywhere I go
I’m just trying to fit in
Now here I stand
And I’m still just that girl
I’m following my heart
In this amazing crazy world
Suddenly people know my name
Suddenly everything has changed
Suddenly I feel so alive
In the blink...
continue reading...
Zoom zoom in under my skin
Gotta slow down now to begin
Baby don’t rush anda can look but don’t touch
You think u know
When u see me in my videos
How the story goes
But that’s just the side that I expose
Look through the lens
You see my body, not who I am
So don’t pretend
And try to act like you’re my boyfriend
U wanna get somewhere
Then boy don’t touch me there
Just get up close and personal, personal
Zoom zoom in under my skin
Gotta slow down now to begin
Baby don’t rush anda can look but don’t touch
Zoom zoom
In to my head
Gotta know me to be my man
Boy prove you’re in love
You can look but don’t...
continue reading...
If ya got the time I’ll take it
If ya got the vibe we’ll make it
I’ll do that I’ll do that
If anda wanna dance let’s pindah it
If anda wanna play let’s play it
I’ll do that I’ll do that
And I get on up
And I get on down
And I play the fool when I act the clown
You know that I’d do anything for you
If anda want the world anda got it
If anda want the girl anda got it
I’ll do that baby
I’ll do that
So much for you
If anda want it all anda got it
Can anda hear me call anda got it
I’ll do that baby
I’ll do that
So much for you
So much for you
So much for you
If ya got the game let’s win it
If ya got the...
continue reading...
posted by -Yusha-
Death came to a guy and said: "My friend today is your day."

Guy:"But I'm not ready!"
Then death said,"well your name is the selanjutnya on my list".

Guy:"Okay why don't anda take a kursi and I will get anda something to eat before we go?".

Then death said,"all right"
The guy gave death some food with sleeping pills in it, death finished eating and fell into a deep sleep.

The guy took the daftar and removed his name from the puncak, atas of the daftar and put it at the bottom of the list.

When death woke up he berkata to the guy, "Because anda have been so nice to me, I will start from the BOTTOM of the daftar ..."

Moral of the story: - Whatever is written in your destiny ... Will never change no matter how much anda try!!
posted by invadercalliope
I wanna be the very best

Like no one ever was

To catch them is my real test

To train them is my cause

I will travel across the land

Searching far and wide

Teach Pokemon to understand

The power that's inside

Pokemon!

Gotta catch 'em all--

It's anda and me

I know it's my destiny

Pokemon!

Ooooh, you're my best friend

In a world we must defend

Pokemon!

Gotta catch 'em all--

Our hearts so true

Our courage will pull us through

You teach me and I'll teach you

Pokemon!

Gotta catch 'em all!

Gotta catch 'em all!

Yeeaa.

Every challenge along the way

With courage I can face



To claim my rightful place

Come with me the time is right...
continue reading...
posted by jessicamc26
A stoner called the api department and said, "Come quick my house is on fire!" The Fireman asked "How do we get there?" The stoner says "DUH, the big red truck!"






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