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Yes, it's back.. I promise not to take up so much space.. As I'm one shoting them for now one...

MATURE CONTENT WARNING:



Saten Twist and Master Sword are at a mall, only to get a rude brush-off from the Santa who works there when he leaves for the night. As a result, Sword vows to kill Santa for blowing him off. And knowing Sword, he wasn't joking.

Saten: Man, anda may want to calm down there

Sword: f that beslubbering, onion-eyed maggot-pie thinks he can just blow me off like that, he's got another thing coming..(pulls out Pistol) And it's full of led (points it)

Saten: (slaps it away) Geez louise man!

Sword: anda know what. I'm killing him. You're driving me. Let's go.

Saten: Dri... Driving anda where?

Sword; To the North Pole to see Santa Claus.

Saten: Really? Up to the North Pole? How do anda expect me to get there?

Sword: We drive

Saten: I'm not driving anda to north pole.

Voice: Bar closing

Saten: ... Okay I'll drve you.

----------------------------------------------------------------

FAKE NORTH POLE:

Sword: This is it huh?

Saten: Yep. This is it.

Teen: Yo, yo, what's up, y'alls? Y'alls ready to kick it in some fine North Pole gear?!

Sword: ... Saten. Does the North Pole usually having teenagers.

Saten: Yeah, sure.

Sword: Hmm... Let me ask something else.. (pins him on dinding pointing the gun) anda THINK I'M AN IDIOT!?

Saten: I..

Sword: anda can't jerk me around when it comes to Santa Claus, dude! There is a Ferris wheel here, and a guy hosing vomit! Nobody vomits at the North Pole! Except for Santa's wife because she has an eating disorder!

Saten: What?

Sword: Yeah, 'cause he can have anyone he wants, and she knows that!

Saten: Okay Sword, there's something I should probably tell you.

Sword: Fine (lowers gun)

Saten: I hate to tell anda this Sword, but there really is no Santa.

Sword: ... (chuckles) That's funny.. I thought anda berkata Santa wasn't real.. What's next, hmm? . Um, who else isn't real? Hmm? Y...You gonna tell me SpongeBob? Is he not real? Huh? Is SpongeBob not there at the bottom of the ocean giving Squidward the business? Hmm? atau what about Curious George? Huh? Does he not really exist? Hmm? Is Curious George not out there makin' little boats out of newspapers that he should be delivering? Huh? Educate yourself, anda fool!

Saten: Guess we'll have to do this the hard way then.

Sword: anda know, anda know why nothing works out for you, Twist!? Because you've got a negative attitude. Like Eeyore.

Saten: Oh, that's not fair Master. I don't think I have a negative attitude. I just don't think it's a good idea for us to embark on a potentially dangerous journey whe...

Sword: I still have a loaded gun.. Now drive me to the real North Pole.

Saten: What do I get out of this?

Sword: Help me and ... I'll take anda and Trixie with me to Los Pegasus.

Sword: I'll even pay for the greatest buffets.

Saten: Fine..

-------------------------------------------------------------------

(They drive to Canada but the car breaks down).

Saten: Well that's just great.

Canadian: hey there fokes.

Sword: Well this is convienent

Canadian: Oh, hey there. You're having some car troubles, eh?

Saten: Yeah, we're trying to get to the North Pole. I don't suppose you're from Triple A, are you?

Canadian: Who?

Saten: Triple A, anda know? A-A-A.

Canadian: Oh, AA, eh? Oh, I just came from AA.

Saten: No, not AA! AAA!

Canadian: Yeah, that's what I said. AA, eh?

Saten:: Oh, so anda are with Triple A.

Canadian: Oh, no, that's AAA. I just came from AA, eh?

Sword: Saten I think he's just a drunk.

Saten: Hold on Master, I'm handling this.

Canadian: Well, I can probably take anda to a gas station, eh? anda have cash, eh?

Saten: Well, I dunno, my name carries a little weight, but I don't see how that matters here.

Sword: Look, we don't have enough cash to fix the car and we're kind of on our way to the North Pole.

Canadian: Oh, a car won't take ya there anyway. But if ya like, anda can take my snowmobile.

Saten: ... Really?

Canadian: Oh, sure. That's what Canadian hospitality's all aboot. If ya like, anda can have all my money and my leg.

Sword: ... Okay.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

(skip to the two on the snowmoblie, Sword holding the leg)

Saten: Why'd we take his leg?

Sword: We're in their country, Saten, we have to observe their customs. (drops leg on bump)

Sword: ... Well, at least we're done with the first leg of our journey.

Saten: That pun was bad and anda should feel bad.

Sword (annoyed): Fuck off

Saten: I would, but then you'd be all alone.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

(They arrive)

Sword: There it is, Santa's factory

Saten: ...

Saten: I don't believe it.

They knock and sure enough Santa appears. However Santa is a sick and elderly looking, dying man.

Saten: Santa!?

Santa: Who are you?

Sword: I'm Master Sword (pulls out the handgun) AND I'M HERE TO KILL YOU!

Santa: ... Oh thank god. *kneels in front of them* Please do it.

Sword: What?

Santa: (puts gun in mouth) Do it!

Sword: You.. Want me two?

Santa: Put me out of my misery!

Sword: Whoa man, there's no sport in that.

Santa: *starts coughing, Saten helps him up*

Saten: I... I don't understand. I thought anda were supposed to be jolly and happy.

Santa (shows the factory to be dark gloomy place, and the elfs ll deformed and grey skinned, and the Raindeers all rabid wild animals): I used to be, a long time ago. I made toys for little boys and girls. I loved my work, and they loved me. But it just got out of hand. The world's population kept growing and growing. Kids wanted lebih toys, fancier toys! We used to make wooden choo-choos and rag dolls. anda ever try to make an iPod?! I've got orders for millions of 'em!

Saten: ... (crosses iPod off his list).

Santa: Look at those poor elves.. they're just a sickly race of mutated genetic disasters. At least 60% of them are born blind. The workload destroys them, but they don't know anything else. It's gotten so their instincts take over, and near the end, they just walk out into the snow and die. Then the reindeer eat them, which has turned the reindeer into wild, feral creatures with a blood-lust for elf flesh. I don't even pray for them anymore. Seems pointless. What God would allow this?

Sword (actually frightened, which for him is saying a lot): This is none of the songs atau specials!

Saten: How could anda let this happen?!

Santa: Me!? I didn't do this! natal DID THIS!!

(All the elves stand up angrily).

-------------------------------------------------------------------

SONG:

Santa: Each bel, bell would peal with a silvery zeal, as the holiday feeling was filling us. But now instead all we're feeling is dread, because natal time is killing us!

Elves (all together): Each natal daftar gets us lebih and lebih pissed, till the thought of existence is chilling us!

Santa: I'll tell anda what, shove your daftar up your butt! Because natal time is killing us!

Saten (singing): But can't anda see, that what anda do is a dream come true? Can't anda see that, every smile makes it all worthwhile?

Santa: No, screw, you! It's all but through, there's too much to do! All those dreams are nightmares, (zoom in Elf) AND BLANK ICY STARES!

Santa: Each little elf used to fill up a shelf, making playthings and selflessly thrilling us! Now they're on crack, and it feels like lraq, because Christmastime is killing us!

Elves (together): Each model train only heightens the pain of a workload that's draining and drilling us!

Santa: Fingers all bleed, and look that guy just peed, because natal time is killing us!

Sword (singing): But can't anda see, our point of view? We rely on you. Can't anda see that natal cheer, gets us through the year?

Santa: My whole crew is black and blue, can't anda take a clue? anda may think I look great, (zoom in to tampil his elderly wrinkered skin) BUT I'M TWENTY-EIGHT!

Santa: Each jingle bel, bell is a requiem knell. And while anda think it's swell we are toiling in Hell. Take a look, anda can tell as a man I'm a sheeeeeeeeeell! because Christmastime is killing us! KILLING US! natal time is killing us!

(Song ends with the elves all hanging themselves).

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Santa: (coughs and passes out)

Saten: (jaw dropped)

Sword: ... Is weird that that was a great song?

Saten: (eyes turn to him, having no reply)

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Skips to Santa in hospital.

Saten: Is he going to be okay?! It's Christmas!

Elf Doctor: natal is the problem! He can't keep this pace up anymore. If he goes out tonight, he'll die.

20h agoSword: Which means no lebih Christmas!?

Elf Doctor: Afraid so.

Saten: ... We're do it

Sword and Doctor (together): What!?

Saten: anda were right Sword, he IS real. And he needs our help.

Sword: Alright. So how do we start?

Saten': Don't worry, Santa. We'll make sure there's a natal this year.

Santa: Thank anda red pony. That brings me peace in this hour. I'll be with Allah soon.

Saten: What!?

Dr Elf: H-he's just delerious.

Saten: *clearly uncomfortable* Okay then. So we should probably get started

Sword: Anyone else freaked out oleh that Allah thing?

Saten: Forget that, lets get going.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

(Later as they prepare to leave).

Saten: alright.. (whips) Mush!

*Reindeer don't move*

Sword: It's not working. I think they need to be coaxed. Santa berkata they eat elf flesh.

Sword (sees a misshapen elf standing in the snow, staring blankly at nothing): Hey! hey you! Come over here!

Elf doesn't move.

Saten: I don't think he even knows where he is.

Sword: I guess we should just do it then.

Saten: (sighs, goes over with swissblade)

Saten cuts through the elf's arm, the elf is unfazed and unresponsive.

Saten (takes the arm): So... bye! *runs back to sleigh*

They take off, using the arm as a lure.

Sword: hey dude, that one reindeer just kind of pooped in the other reindeer's face, and the other reindeer just kind of ate it. Isn't natal magical?

Saten: It sure is.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Sword: Alright. First house of the night

Saten: (tosses gifts carelessly)

Sword: Whoa whoa man! anda can't just toss those all about.

Saten: Why not?

Sword: anda kidding? Those aren't socks and underwear donated oleh the api department to some battered women's shelter. Those are Santa gifts, tampil some care asshole.

Saten: Whatever, I delievered them. *grabs cookie and eats it*

Sword: Did anda just eat that whole cookie off the mantel?!

Saten: What? They left it out for Santa. We're Santa.

Sword: Yeah, but you're not supposed to eat all of it. anda take a bite and a sip of milk..

Saten: Oh anda know what. *pours susu on ground* There. Now they'll know Santa was here

Sword: lebih like Grinch was here.

Saten: Look I'm here giving out presents, I'll eat the damn cookie if I want. In fact, I might make myself a sandwich.

Sword: Don't anda fucking dare!

Saten: *goes into the kitchen*

Man: Who's there!? (turns on light)

Saten: Uhh.. I'm Santa.

Man: Yeah, sure, your Santa. That why anda broke in through the window? I'm calling the cops.

Saten: Wait, we are. We just couldn't fit though the chimey, and forgot the presents.. It's actually a funny stor-

Sword: AHH! (assualts him with bat, spraying blood everywherw)

Saten: WHAT THE HELL!?

Sword: HE WAS GONNA CALL THE COPS! NOBODY CALLS THE FUCKING COPS ON SANTA!

Sword: Now help me drag him to the closet!

Girl: Santa!?

Sword: ... Fuck

Wife: Who are you!?.. (sees body) DAN!?

Saten: Look, we can explain.

Wife flees.

Sword panicks and fires the handgun from earlier.

Girl: MOMMY!

Saten: DUDE!

Sword: I panicked okay! Now find some tape!

The little girl is taped up.

Sword: Alright, now to clean the bat and give to (reads) Johnny... Go check for her brother

Saten: (Goes upstairs) There's only one bedroom!

Sword: Then who's... oh dear god we're in the wrong house!

(sirens blaring)

Sword: Damn it, we tripped the alarm. The cops are coming. Let's go!

Saten: What?! We're just leaving like this? What about not wanting to ruin Christmas?!

Sword: It's already ruined! This was one house. We've been here for an jam and a half! An jam and... First of all, we're not even Santa anymore. This has been a halaman awal invasion. But an jam and a half Saten!

Saten: No wonder Santa lost his mind, we can't do this in one night!

Sword: NOBODY CAN, IT'S FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE!!

-------------------------------------------------------------------

ON SLED:

Sword: I can't believe it! We were supposed to save Christmas, and we completely blew it! We failed Santa!

Saten: No. No, we didn't fail Santa. The world failed Santa. The poor man just gives and gives and gives, and everyone just takes him for granted. Hell, I didn't even think he existed until last night.

Sword: I agree. But what are we supposed to do now? natal is doomed.

Saten: Maybe, but there is one thing we can do.

Saten: But we can make things right

-------------------------------------------------------------------

PONYVILLE/THE selanjutnya DAY:

Reporter: This just in, reports from all over the world says that no presents have delivered. We can only assume that everyone has been naugh-

Saten (runs infront of camera): Wait! I know what happened to Santa!

Reporter: Wha?

Twi (from her house): Saten?

(Saten wheels out Santa).

Reporter: Santa?!

Saten: That's right! It's Santa Claus! And the reason there was no natal this tahun is that this man is sick. Very sick. He's been bludgeoned oleh years of greed and avarice. The workload of filling our natal lists has overwhelmed him. And at the rate he's going, he may not make it another year. But there's a way for us to help him. If all of us everywhere can just cut back our demands and ask for only one natal present every year, there may still be hope. I know it's in our nature to resist sacrifice, even in hard times, but if we don't, we may have to give up natal altogether.

Reporter: anda heard him folks. Will we take just one gift a year, can we live with that?

Various people: One is enough... One's enough... I can live with that.

Canada24: Okay, just one.. But if it's a gym membership, someone's getting punched in the fucking face!



END OF EPISODE:
At a Freedom Fighter base.

Freedom Fighters: *Working on computers, and organizing paperwork*
Sally Acorn: *Inspecting the base*
Freedom Fighter: *Walks over to her* Princess Sally, I regret to inform anda that Eggman keeps attacking more, and lebih of our bases.
Sally Acorn: We're not making much progress.
Freedom Fighter: And I have lebih bad news. Sonic is still prisoner on Eggman's Super Ridiculously Big Yacht.
Sally Acorn: We must save him immediately.
Freedom Fighter 72: General, Doctor Eggman has appeared on my screen.
Freedom Fighter 55: He's on mine too!
Freedom Fighter: *Looks around*...
continue reading...
 George Tildon, will appear in a later part of this story
George Tildon, will appear in a later part of this story
Sean met up with pelangi Dash at the kastil, castle in Canterlot with Master Sword, and Wind.

Rainbow Dash: Eggman's soldiers just tried to kill Sean. He might send another squad in here to kill one of us next.
Master Sword: Well if that's the case, we need to stop them.
Wind: They're all in Mobius. How do we get there?
Sean: oleh teleporting.
Wind: Yes, I know that, but we don't have anything to teleport us there.
Sean: That is where you're wrong. *Grabs his chaos emerald* This little green thing is called a chaos emerald. It is capable of stopping time, if the user knows how to use it correctly. I only...
continue reading...
posted by Canada24
This small, crappy, chapter is all I got..

-------------------------------------------------------------------

SEVERAL DAYS LATER:

"Do we really have to wear these?" Rover whispered, as it's revealed, Ganger is making them wear old hockey masks (like anda would see on JASON VOORHEES).

"Yes.. Because there awesome" Ganger whispered, putting on his mask.

"But it's the middle of the night, Rarity will be asleep" Rover whispered back, revealing they've sneak into Rarity's house.

"Yeah.. And why are we even here?" Spot whispered.

"I told you.. Rarity may have some emas hidden around.. She likes making her dresses 'fancy" Ganger whispered back.
Spike: [sighs] anda know the worst thing about anda being the Princess of Friendship? The dishes.
Twilight: Thanks for taking care of that, Spike. After three events in one week, I really needed to relax with a good book.
Spike: It's kinda funny, isn't it? All these ponies comin' to anda for saran about friendship?
Twilight: What's funny about that?
Spike: anda know, 'cause anda used to be famous for being such a bad friend.
Twilight: What are anda talking about? I had good friends in Canterlot.
Spike: Come on, Twilight. Look at the wall. D'ya see any foto from before we moved to Ponyville? And look...
continue reading...
Saten: Well, I should get goin-
Twi: Saten, wait.. anda know how we put anda as part of our group now?
Saten: What about it?
Pinkie: We need anda your help., Something's coming.
Saten: (groans) What is it THIS time?

------------------------------------------------------------

Octavia: Why are Saten and the girls huddled up like that? Do we know what they're on about?
Apple Bloom: The way they're huddled up like that, I'd say it's either a friendship problem atau a monster attack.
Octavia: (naively believing her) A monster attack?! Blast! I'm performing at the ceremony this afternoon, and I still haven't...
continue reading...
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: facebook, joyreactor
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Video Game Troll

Starring Sean the hedgehog as Fox335
Mortomis as Kadillack
Other players in this match are real players, and are not portrayed oleh any actors.

Today's game: Grand Theft Auto 5

Fox335: *Driving a Red Coquette through Blaine County*
Kadillack: anda know? This is the only good Grand Theft Auto game. Every other game has either bad graphics, atau terrible gameplay. Usually, it's both.
klk321: Yo, you're insulting the best video game franchise ever.
Fox335: No, the best game franchise ever is Gran Turismo. anda don't have to murder others just to win a race.
Audience: *Quietly laughing*...
continue reading...
It was time for Big Mac's trail.
And he insisted constantly on his innocence, but the blood over his hooves and crazy look his his eye spoke for itself.
Big Mac: (wearing a cast over his broken arm) It wasn't my idea. It was HER's (reveals Twilight's smarty pants doll to the crowd). She told me to kill them!
Judge: Really!?.. anda realize your talking about an toy doll, right?
Big Mac: Hey.. We ALL find cinta in different fashions. And smarty pants will ALWAYS cinta me.
Ditto: anda got a lot of problems, don't you?

After Big Mac was voted guilty, Ditto violently throws Big Mac into a prison cell.
Ditto: These people are too soft., if it were up to me, your be shot in the face. atau hung to death..
Big Mac: Yeah. Fuck anda too!
Ditto: (prepares fist)
Luna: (gently pulls him back) Leave it Ditto.. It's not like the creep is going anywhere.
Ditto: (sighs) Guess your right.

TO BE CONTAINUED
Meanwhile.
Ditto and his group continued searching for Big Mac.
At one point he ran into Tom Foolery.
Tom: Hey. Hey. It's the famish guy.
Ditto: Yeah.. I guess it is.
Tom: Aren't anda the chief of police.
Ditto: Uh huh.
Tom: What brings anda here?.. All out of donat in Canterlot.
Audience: *laughs*
Ditto: ............ What the hell was that!?
Tom: Sorry. I can't get rid of them.
Ditto: Ahh.. Celestia was complain about the same thing yesterday., she ordered me to scare them off., It took less effect then anda might think it would.
Audience: (laughs)
Tom: Anyway. What do anda want.. Sir?
Ditto: Well.... I'm...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Theme song >>>> link

SeanTheHedgehog Presents

Ponies On The Rails

Starring the Union Pacific ponies

Pierce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From Seanthehedgehog

Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09

Metal Gloss From DragonAura15

Stylo From Jimmythedragon

NocturnalMirage from NochurnalMirage

Gordon, Percy, Jeff, Wilson, Ike, Nicole, Mike, and Pete from Seanthehedgehog

Also starring the Southern Pacific ponies.

Nikki West From Jade_23

Michael, Roger, Anthony, Ryan, Duke, and Donut from Seanthehedgehog

Special guest bintang Stephanie from SeanTheHedgehog

Episode 76: Foul Ball
Date: August 11, 1958
Location:...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
We are introduced to one of the police ponies in this fanfiction. Master Sword. He was a corporal, and wanted to be promoted, but the only way to do that was to make thirty arrests. He only needed one more.

Master Sword: Hmm, what have we here? *Sees a mare standing oleh a car*
Night Frizz: *Putting air into one of the tires for her car*
Master Sword: *Puts on sirens*
Night Frizz: What did I do?
Master Sword: *Talking into loudspeaker* Ma'am, anda have parked too close to a api hydrant.
Night Frizz: But I'm no where near the api hydrant.
Master Sword: The law says anda have to park ten hooves, or...
continue reading...
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: EQD, joyreactor, deviantart
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, EQD, tumblr, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, EQD, tumblr, joyreactor
added by NocturnalMirage
Source: original owners, EQD, tumblr, joycreator
added by tinkerbell66799
Source: Original Owners (NOT ME!!)
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Bob found Burt at the bar. He was drinking some alcohol.

Bob: Burt, may I talk to you?
Burt: Oh, sure thing Bob. What would anda like to talk about?
Bob: I heard from your wife that anda threatened to beat her up if anda saw her again.
Burt: Yes I did. Have anda seen her?
Bob: No.
Burt: Oh well. Why don't anda have some drinks with me? You'll cinta it.
Bob: How many did anda have?
Burt: Oh, about six so far.
Waiter: *Arrives* Would anda like another drink?
Burt: Yes, and get one for me friend too.
Bob: Right. I want one too.
Waiter: Coming up. *Goes to get drink*
Bob: So anyway, why would anda want to beat...
continue reading...
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Con ran to the parking lot where he put his car. The adaptive camouflage was still on, so no one could see it.

Con: *Gets in car* P, set up an airstrike on the Ice Hotel.
P: Roger that.
Zao: *Comes to parking lot*
Chinese Pony7: *Riding snowmobile*
Zao: *Sees snowmobile*
Chinese Pony7: *Crashes into car*
Zao: *sees crash* All units report, now!
Con: *Drives off*
Chinese Pony7: *Shooting at car*
Zao: *Runs to his car, and puts on thermal imaging* I see anda now. *Activates machine gun*
Con: *Driving faster*
Zao: *Shoots at Con with machine gun*
Car: Warning: Too much damage. Adaptive Camouflage turned off....
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Pinkie Pie:Rainbow Dash!
Rainbow Dash:Yes,master!
Trixie:You idiot pony,go and get another of those that anda call"pony friends"
Rainbow Dash:Yes,master.*leaves*

Twilight:We must stay together.
Apple Jack:You're damn right.If we leave eachother,Trixie will get us all.
Rainbow Dash:Like to see me here?
Twilight:Rainbow,why are anda so...um..grey?
Rainbow Dash:You don't need to know.And I am here to take,Apple Jack.
Twilight:No,if I stop you.
Rainbow Dash:Nothing can stop me now!*takes apel, apple Jack*
Apple Jack:Save your self's.
Rarity:Oh,no,they take'd apel, apple Jack.
Flutter Shy:Twilight,I am scared.
Twilight:Don't...
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posted by shadowknuxgirl
queen of Changelings: This hari is going to be perfect, the kind of hari of which I've dreamed since I was small, everypony will gather round, say I look lovely in my gown, what they don't know is that I have fooled them all!

Princess Cadence: This hari was going to be perfect, the kind of hari of which I've dreamed since I was small, but instead of having cake, with all my friends to celebrate, my wedding bells, they may not ring for me at all!

Queen of Changelings: I could care less about the dress, I won't partake in any cake! Vows? Well, I'll be lying when I say, that through any kind of weather,...
continue reading...