Ralphie: *Sitting at table*
Dad: *Walking into the house*
Dogs: *Following Dad*
Dad: No, get out of here!
Dogs: *Run away*
Dad: *Mumbling about his car, and goes into the kitchen* That hot damn Foals froze up again.

Some ponies are baptists. Others Catholic. My father was a Foalsmobile Stallion.

Dad: *Filling big pitcher with hot water* That son of a menggerutu, jalang would freeze up during summer, on the middle of the Equator!
Mother: Little pitcher.
Dad: Thanks honey. *Hears noise* Shh. *Turns off water*

Our furnace started to break down again. oleh the entrance to the furnace room, black smoke was seen coming out of the vent.

Dad: Aha, aha! *Points to air vent* It's a clincker!!!!!!!! That blasted stupid furnace dadgummit!
*He walks down a few stairs and falls the rest of the way down* Damn skates! *coughing* Oh, for cripes sake, open up the damper will ya? Who the hell turned it all the way down? AGAIN! Oh, blast it!

My father was one of the most feared furnace fighters in Northern Indiana, but in the heat of battle my father wove a tapestry of obscenities that as far as we know is still hanging in luar angkasa over Lake Michigan.

Soon, me and Randy were getting ready for school. It was like getting ready for deap sea diving.

Mother: *Struggles to put boots on Randy. Then she puts five hats on him, and tries to put the buttons on his jacket*
Ralphie: *Ready for school* Come on mom, we're gonna be late!
Mother: Don't worry Ralph. *Putting long scarf around Randy's head*
Randy: *Cries*

My kid brother looked like a tick about to pop.

Mother: What? *Hears Randy crying* What is it? *Unwraps scarf around Randy's head* What is it?
Randy: I can't pindah my front legs!
Mother: *Moves Randy's left front leg, and sees it pindah back into the position it was in before* Well, walk on your back legs, and fix your front ones when anda get to school.
Randy: *Crying*
Mother: *Putting scarf back around Randy's head*

As I walked out of the house, black smoke was seen coming out of our chimney, and my old stallion was still shouting while trying to fix the furnace.

Randy: *Walks out of house on his back legs*
Ralphie: *Ignores Randy, and runs toward his friend* Flick! Wait up. *Walks with Flick* So uh.. What are anda doing?
Flick: What does it look like I'm doing, picking goobers?
Schwartz: *Walks with Flick, and Ralphie* hey listen smartass, I asked my old stallion about sticking your tongue to metal surfaces during winter, and he berkata you'd get it stuck.
Flick: Baloney. What would your old stallion know about that stuff?
Schwartz: He knows, because he berkata he saw somepony stick his tongue to a railroad track on a bet. It froze right on, and the api department had to try to get it off, but they couldn't get it off.
Randy: *Running towards Ralphie* Come on anda guys, wait up for me! *Trips, and falls in snow. He rolls around realizing he can't get up* I can't get up. I CAN'T GET UP!!!!!!!!! HELP!! RALPHIE!!!!
Ralphie, Flick, and Schwartz: *Stop walking, and looking at Randy*
Randy: I CAN'T GET UP RALPHIE!!
Ralphie: Ugh. Come on Flick, wait up for me. *Runs to Randy*
Randy: *Rolling around in snow* I can't get up!
Ralphie: Come on, get up. *Helps Randy get up on his back hooves* You're okay. Come on. You're alright, let's go. *Walks to school with Randy*

2 B Continued