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I made this when I first started writing. So the grammer isn't very good..


Grady Edwards. A constant on the run serial killer, that is always changing his name. Today he met Susan at the grocery store, he introduced himself as David Harris. He pretended to be divorced, but in reality he murdered his old wife, and her family. "Yep, she was mad at me for my constant tenancy to take shit in the pool" David said. Everyone took a step back. David walked away. Unaware of the danger it will eventually cause Susan asked David to stay with her family. He agreed.

Susan's oldest son, Michael was returning from military school. His family had a surprise party waiting for him, and when he arrived the party had started. Michael met David and he lead the two down towards the basement. He tried befriending him over drinks. "We will bring the family together, farther and son" David said. "STEP farther" Michael said. "Of curse" David berkata with a grin. "What if mom disagrees?" Michael asked. "Then I'll have to kill her" David whispered to himself. "WHAT!" Michael cried. "WHAT!" David cried. "Did anda just say your kill my mother" Michael asked. "No" David berkata quickly. David started bring him upstairs. "This has been a nice chat" David berkata quickly. "but David" Michael said, but David closed the door on him.

For a while things seemed pretty ordinary. Until that hari came, where old Mrs. Martin knocked on their door. She was talking to Susan but nobody heard them. She later told David that Mrs. Martin berkata she saw a killer named Granny Edwards on America's most wanted, and he looked just like David. They both laughed, well David pretended to laugh, he was nervous. "This will make me a big hit with the neighbors" David joked.

LATER!

Getting worried, David checked America's most wanted for Granny Edwards, and sure enough there he was. Mrs. Martin knows to much. David had to "take care" of her.

LATER AGAIN!

There was a knock on Mrs. Martin's door. Mrs. Martin answered it, but nobody was there. Unknown to anyone David somehow sneak in. After a small audience scare, using a cat. David appeared and grabbed Mrs. Martin and tossed her towards the open door to the basement. Mrs. Martin catched herself. David walked up to her. He looked at her for a second. Then randomly screamed the famish quote "THIS IS SPARTA!" The kicked her she literary flew over the stairs and cracked her head open at a dinding at the bottom. She was dead. David closed the door and walked away, quietly laughing to himself.

THE selanjutnya DAY, AT DINNER!

Earlier that hari David met Kelly, Michael's girlfriend. "Be careful, people may get the wrong idea about anda two" he said. "What do think people think about anda moving in with my mother" Michael snapped. David violently grabbed his shirt. "WHAT DID anda SAAY!" He screamed. But then suddenly calmed down, and remained that way. "By the way Michael, anda know how anda wanted that job, well the manager and I had a little chat, and he agreed to put you" David said. "What kind of chat?" Michael asked.

FLASHBACK!

David pointing a fully loaded Desert eagle at the manager. "YOU WANT A BULLIT IN YOU!?" He screamed angrily. "NOO!" The manager screamed. "GIVE HIM THE F***IN JOB!" David screamed. "Alright" the manager said.

END FLASHBACK!

"A nice chat" David said. Suddenly David stared seeing them as his old family, and was getting overly anxious, but soon snapped out of it as.

The selanjutnya morning, Michael woke up to sirens selanjutnya doo r. The family asked David what's going on. "You know the old lady next, she fell down the stairs and broke her neck" David told them. "Ou that poor women" Susan berkata hold up hands over her mouth.

LATER!

Michael was becoming specious of David. He told his girlfriend Kelly, but she wasn't buying it. "Look what he's doing know" Michael berkata pointing to the distance. Shows David chasing a bajing tanah, chipmunk with a spiked baseball bat. The bajing tanah, chipmunk ran up a tree. "YA! THAT'S RIGHT RUN! anda COWARDLY PIECE OF tikus SHIT!" David screamed at it. "What's wrong mister Harris?" Kelly asked. "Just mind your own damn business" David snapped. Kelly was about say something when David screamed, "SILENC! I'll KILL YOU!"

LATER AGAIN!

David took Michael to dinner, at a restaurant. David told Michael about his daughters. But Michael got worried again as David seemed to miss say his daughters names.

Michael told Kelly, but she STILL wasn't convinced. "He's hiding something" Michael said. "Doesn't mean he's a killer" Kelly said.

Susan's youngest son Shaun was playing video games super loudly. Susan kept saying tune it down, but he wasn't lessoning. Finally David grabbed the back of his neck. "MAMA SAID! TUNE IT DOWN!" David cried violently. He turned down the volume and walked away. Leaving Shaun staring at him with fear in his eyes.

David approached downstairs and saw Michael and Kelly making out in the pool. "Are anda sure it's a good idea, for them to be so passionate at their age?" David asked.

Susan's ex husband arrived today. He Shaun and Susan's daughter for the day, Susan was also gone for the day. Michael and Kelly began ciuman in the pool again. It was interrupted when they saw David. David berkata he was leaving them alone for a bit. "You two play nice now" He said, then left. As soon as he did Michael began searching through his stuff for evidence that he is bad. Before was able to finish David returned. And Michael and Kelly had to run back towards the pool.

David and Michael were glaring at each other all through dinner. Suddenly the doorbell rang, Shaun and his sister came out with their old dad. He was super angrily. And violently pointed at David. "IF anda EVER LAY A HAND ON ONE OF MY KIDS AGAIN! IT'LL BE THE LAST F***IN THING anda EVER DO!" The dad screamed angrily. "What the hell are anda talking about?" Susan asked. "THIS MAN TRIED TO CHUCK SHAUN OVER THE STUPID VIDEOGAME VOLUME!" He cried angrily. "Susan told him to tune it down, and he didn't" David said. The other dad lost it and started getting violent, but Michael pulled him away and took him outside.

The dad quickly calmed down, and he and Michael agreed to keep an eye on David.

David apologized to Shaun, when they were alone, Susan began getting angry with him, but David promised not to do it again.

Susan's ex husband came over today. Where he was greeted oleh David. He apologized to David for his impression last time. "It's alright" David assured him.

A BIT LATER!

David disappeared into another room. "You know Michael want's me to keep an eye on you, and to be honest, I'd like some answers" The ex dad said. "Do anda hear me?" The ex dad cried. "Yep" David berkata suddenly appearing behind him. Before the guy realized what happened David broke a glass vase on his head, knocking him unconscious.

David threw him into the basement. And suffocated him in folding paper. "Damn, I forgot to tell anda how crazy I am" David berkata to the motionless body. "Do want to catch a movie?" David asked the body. The body remains motionless. "HEY (kicks body) ANSWER GOD DAMMIT... Ou right" David said.

David threw the body into the fridge. "I need some cold meat". David opens the fridge, but freaked out because he forgot about the body he threw in a couple detik ago.

LATER THAT DAY!

"Hey honey, I accidently broke your vase" David lied, holding up the vase pieces. Susan laughed. "Don't worry… IS THAT BLOOD STAINS!" Susan cried. "No it's… ketchup, I… dropped a heavy, amount, of ketchup… Ya that's it, liquids are heavier then anda think, think of water buckets for example, their like one thousand pounds" David said. "Ok" Susan said, obviously buying it.

ALMOST A WEEK LATER!

David sat on the computer and saw the email, which read.

hey sweetie,

I need to talk to anda about David. I think he's lying, about EVERYTHING! I'm sending someone to keep an eye on him. As for me, I need to catch a plane.

David's eye twitched. He picked up his phone. "Yes, I'll like to make a call about canceling a flight" David berkata into it.

LATER!

David came up to Susan's sister at the pool. And violently started drowning her, oleh throwing her head in the water. Once she was dead, David threw the rest of her body in the pool.

LATER AGAIN!

Michael wanted jawaban once and for all. So he sneaked into the basement. He eventually stumbled on the body of his ex dad, locked in the fridge.

David kidnapped Kelly, and locked Michael in basement, so Michael couldn't do anything

David was losing it at this point, he was taking a bunch of knives and hammers, getting ready to kill. Susan came down. "What's with all the noise?" She berkata tiredly. "THE BOY IS THE PROBLEM! HE HAS NO RESPECT!" David cried. David picks a pencil. "YOU GOTTA BREAK HIM IF NESSASSARY!" David cried and tried to snap the pencil, but failed in doing so, he threw it away in anger. "Anyway… anda can't do that you're too soft" David told her. "What the hell are anda talking about?" Susan asked. "I thought I could make this work, I thought anda could be Mrs. Granny Edwards, BUT NO!" David cried and slammed his fist on the meja but suddenly started screaming in pain. "What did anda say?" Susan asked. "No that's not right, who am I here?" David asked. "David, what are you" Susan started. "DAVID! David Harris" David berkata and then began making a mussed up psychopathic laugh. Susan screamed in fear and ran upstairs, David chased her with a knife.

David cornered her in a bathroom. Susan picked up a piece of glass. And as David was about to stab his pisau into her, she put the glass in his neck. "IS THAT ALL anda GOT!" David cried before falling down.

Susan met Michael and Kelly downstairs. But David has appeared to have waken up and chased them into the attic.

INSIDE THE ATTIC!

"DADDIES HOME!" David cried. He took out a chainsaw and again started making that that messed up psychopathic laugh. Unfortunately for him he stepped on a skateboard and fell down the edge.

A FEW DAYS LATER!

David, who survived unharmed, met a new family and introduced himself as Chris Ames.
posted by j-bfan7
Edward pulled two tickets out of his mantel pocket with an unusually questionable grin on his face. I hadn’t seen this expression before. His eyes were bigger than normal, and black. I could see that he needed to hunt. His head tilted slightly downwards, and while one side of his lips curled up, somehow the other side seemed to curl down. Edward looked as though he didn’t know if he wanted to smile, atau frown.

“Are those plane tickets?” It sounded lebih eager out loud than it did in my head.

Edward shifted his dark gaze down at the two tickets he held between his long, porcelain-like fingers,...
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1. Cause it felt like it.

2. mayb it wanted 2. EVR THINK OF THAT!!!!!????

3. It wanted 2 make chiken soup

4. it wanted some chiken soup.

5. it needed 2 get to the other side

6. it saw Justin Bieber (all chickens r fan of him u no)

7. on the other side of the road was a KFC

8. the ppl on his side kept asken Y did the chicken menyeberang, salib the road

9. he had reasons 2

10. he was lost

11. he wanted to make this joke

12. he wanted 2 bcome famous with this joke.

P.S. i coodnt member the rest of the original joke!lol
posted by yoshifan1976
Once there was a black Yoshi named Bob. He was new to town and didn't have any friends. He was a kind and caring Yoshi who had the power to heal. He went to school and saw a group of Yoshis. Bob asked the other Yoshis if he could play with them. The other Yoshis laughed and scoffed at him. He didn't get angry. He just walked away with his head to the ground. Then suddenly, a human was very very sick. She was taken to the hospital. The doctors couldn't admit her. There was nothing they could do. "Yoshi", he said. It meant let me heal her. Then out of the blue, Bob laid his hand on her chest and there was a light shining. Then the human was cured!!! "Thank you", she said. "Yoshi". (Which means you're welcome). The other Yoshis saw what was going on and they apologized to Bob in Yoshi. He forgave them and then they played tag. Then no one ever teased Bob again. He had new friends and they lived happily ever after.
posted by Shelly_McShelly
Bill, Jim, and Scott were at a convention together and were sharing a large suite on the puncak, atas of a 75 story sky scraper. After a long hari of meetings they were shocked to hear that the elevators in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room. Bill berkata to Jim and Scott, let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task oleh concentrating on something interesting. I'll tell jokes for 25 flights, and Jim can sing songs for 25 flights, and Scott can tell sad stories the rest of the way. At the 26th floor Bill stopped telling jokes and Jim began to sing. At the 51st floor Jim stopped bernyanyi and Scott began to tell sad stories. "I will tell my saddest story first," he said. "I left the room key in the car!"
Almost every week, BBC publishes 10 things we learn every week. Here are the facts from this week.

1. iPhones are not yet sold in China.

2. Margaret Thatcher suffered one Parliamentary defeat as Prime Minister - on Sunday trading laws.

3. English holidaymakers drink an average of eight alcoholic drinks a day.

4. The UK population grew in lebih 2008 than at any time since 1962.

5. Meanwhile, Germany's population is shrinking.

6. West Ham's stadium is really called the Boleyn Ground, not Upton Park.

7. The smell of cut rumput makes people happy.

8. A pint glass lasts an average of only three months.

9. An Englishman sailed to the "New World" only two years after the first European is thought to have landed in Newfoundland.

10. Men in China cannot marry until they are 22.

Hopefully there will be lebih selanjutnya week.
added by LovableXNerd
Source: google
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Holiday Inn, Charlestown South Carolina

Three women arrived in a Chevrolet Cruze. Two were sitting up front, while one was in the back seat.

Cara: *Gets out of the car with Edith* We'll be right back. We need to get something important.
Edith: Leave the engine running.
Charlotte: *Nods. She watches the women walk into the hotel, then picks up her phone to talk to her mother*
Mom: Hello?
Charlotte: Hi Mom, charlotte here.
Mom: How are anda doing?
Charlotte: Good. I made a couple of new friends, and I just became a member of this group called Social Justice Warriors.
Mom: Congratulations darling. I need...
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added by GDragon612
added by GDragon612
video
acak
musik
song
insigma
alex m.o.r.p.h.
remix
added by SilentForce
added by KanonKyu
Source: Sweet fotografi fan art oleh me - KanonKyu
added by AvatarAang97
added by tanyya
posted by BellaCullen96
Organize a bunch of people in one class to emit a low humming noise, keeping straight faces.
Organize a whole bunch of people to fall off their chairs at the same time.
Organize a whole bunch of people to drop their pencils/pens at a preset time.
Superglue quarters to the floor, count how many people try to pick them up.
Write fake cinta notes and slip them into people's lockers
If someone near anda falls asleep in class, tie their shoelaces to the desk/chair.
Lay a paper towel roll on the floor at the puncak, atas of the steps and give it a kick, making sure you've taped the loose end to the floor already....
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posted by Lady10358
Found this on google
1. If you're lucky enough and find someone with the shirt: FREE HUGS atau If anda find a kemeja store selling it, hug the shirt/person and if they/someone notices you, say "It says free hugs!"
2. go to the food court and go to a fast food place and take tons of straws and put as many possible in your mouth and stand on a meja bernyanyi elmo's world theme.
3. Go to one of those toddler toy/clothing stores and hold up a baby outfit/toy and yell as loud as anda can "I cinta THIS TOY! I'D PLAY WITH IT hari AND NIGHT!"
4. Go to the bathroom and hide in a stall until anda see an old lady/guy...
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(WARNING: There is tons of cussing in this artikel to emphasize my hatred for this song a bit more. If that bothers you, please leave now.)

Train, anda did it. anda FREAKING DID IT. After watching Drive By, I didn’t think it was POSSIBLE for ANYBODY to make a worse song than that.

Except maybe Ryan.

Seriously though, this song isn’t just bad. It’s nowhere near bad. To call it a terrible piece of shit would be complimenting it. I can’t describe the rage I feel for this song at all. And if I were to shred every particle of my brain molecules, destroying my memory in the process, just to get...
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