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posted by samuraibond005
I never really had a life as a kid, I was brought up to lead and to fight, I was never allowed to play with little toy trains atau dolls. I learned to shoot with a large combat senapan rather than a bb gun, I learned swordsmanship with a live blade, not a wooden one, atau even a stick when I was really young.
As a result of my lack of childhood and my desire to get it back, I met a young boy oleh the name of Jitsa, he was 8, he loved going out in the woods and hunting with his bb gun, he loved going halaman awal afterwards and playing with his little electric trains. I would play with him, though I brought the only gun I had when hunting, a large bolt action sniper senapan with a 4000 Bintsu scope (About $1000) that dates back to when I was only 15 commanding the 800 tahun war.
I was in the woods with Jitsa, his mother allowing me to go with him, and we where hiding up in a pohon waiting for some game to come along. Jitsa saw a deer before I did and fired his little bb gun at it, the deer was startled and tried to run, I still used my experience as a sniper in the 800 tahun war to shoot it before it could get any further. It was dead, I loaded another bullet just to look epic and Jitsa did the same.
We climbed down and walked over to the deer. "Looks like makan malam tonight, do anda think anda can skin it for me later on Chema-keji?" Jitsa said.
"Sure, I can cook it too, we can invite both our families and have makan malam together at my place." I said.
"Would anda really do that?" Jitsa berkata excitedly.
"Yes, I can include plenty of roti and some soda to boot." I berkata in reply.
Suddenly the forest was filled with fog, Jitsa and I fell silent as we noticed the trees start to stretch, they suddenly became taller and thinner. I looked ahead and there was a man in a strange looking suit, he had to be at least 15 feet tall. I raised my senapan as he walked nearer. I fired the senapan and that didn't seems to phase him, he stretched his arms out just as I could see his face...or lack thereof. It was a blur, as though I where looking at it though a dirty glass and I could make out no features. He grabbed Jitsa and pulled him in, I got up and drew my pisau then suddenly he disappeared...with Jitsa. The forest returned to normal, except for me. I fell to my knees and started to cry.
posted by Face_of_Music
ATTENTION PEOPLES OF HOGWARTS AND BEAUBATONS AND DURMSTRANG AND PIGFARTS AND ALL anda MUGGLES INBETWEEN! I AM CHANGING THE STORY LINE PLOT THINGY FROM AL QUEDA ATTACKING AMERICA TO A WIZARDS BATTLE! PLEASE STILL ENJOY THE ORIGINAL AND TAKE CARE! I WILL POST THE NEW VERSION SOON!


This is a acak book I was menulis about Al Queda attacking America, and I got the idea from my friend, who had a nightmare, and berkata I could write a book atau something. This is the first chapter, so I'd cinta it if anda could post your thoughts about it, anything I could change, things anda liked, things that didn't make...
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Use these on your friends. They are fun and awesome. Just like me :)))))))))

F = Friend M = Me

F = Do I need to lock the door?
M = Do I need to tell anda a hundred times that were not going to have a zombie attack?

Robber = Wheres the money?
Me = In your mouth where your last girlfriend told anda to put it.

F = How do I swim?
M = Just don't drown.

M = If anda die, I call getting ALL of your awards for being a smart-alex.

The populer girl = Your so stupid!
Me = At least I'm not wearing my kemeja on backwards.

Your friend is telling a long story. If anda are getting annoyed say this.
Friend = Blah blah blah blah......
Me = I need some asprin

Some acak guy/girl = Is this kursi empty?
anda = Yes and this one will be too if anda sit here.

I'll write lebih soon!!!
NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President atau Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a tahun plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING:...
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posted by reb1009
The vodka Hotline: 772-257-4492

Outsource-A-Breakup To India: 631-403-2029

Bible Stories in 60 Seconds: 240-258-4010

The "Free Marijuana" Hotline: 267-436-5129

The Divorce Hotline: 631-403-2016

IRS Tax Extension Help Line: 267-436-5139

The "Loud Talkin' Redneck" Hotline: 401-285-0705

A Life-Saving Message: 267-436-5115

"Twilight" Obsession Hotline: 973-409-3307

Ruminations: 631-403-2013

Tech-Support Hotline: 772-257-4678

Automated Sobriety Test: 781-452-3027

movie hotline 781-452-4066

Gay Marriage debat Line: 413-497-0148

Beer Goggles Hotline: 954-482-4332

Your Status update Are Annoying: 267-436-5224

"Travel...
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posted by samuraibond005
I find homework to be arrogant and inefficient. Schools think they are so important that they can dictate whether atau not the kid can have time after school for other, also important things. yeah, we learned all this in class and some kids didn't get it, but first of all, it is not like nobody else in the class understood it, detik of all, they won’t get it any better without a teacher to help, and third of all, if they care enough to get anything out of their education anyway, they will ask somebody for help.
Of course, there are classes in which homework makes sense, such as my AP world...
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1. Take someone's shopping gerobak, keranjang and switch the items with stuff from the person selanjutnya to them's gerobak, keranjang
2. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen anda in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment
3. Smash the person in front of anda on the head with a ham
4. Go up to some old geezer & say "Grandpa!!! You're ALIVE!!! It's a MIRACLE!!! etc."
5. Take something from someone else's cart, when they say "hey, that's mine! " call the security and say that the other ... person was trying to take your _____
6. pindah "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas....
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posted by jessicamc26
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posted by musicfanaticXD
When anda are dating..... Farting is never an issue.
When anda are married ....You make sure there's nothing flammable near your husband at all times.

When anda are dating..... He takes anda out to have a good time.
When anda are married ....He brings halaman awal a 6 pack, and says "What are anda going to drink?"

When anda are dating..... He holds your hand in public.
When anda are married ....He flicks your ear in public.

When anda are dating..... A Single tempat tidur for 2 isn't THAT bad.
When anda are married ....A King size tempat tidur feels like an army cot.

When anda are dating..... anda are turned on at the sight of him naked....
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