** just wanted anda to know how much i cinta anda JT and i never meant to hurt anda oleh fighting with anda and i just want anda to know that every word anda read is true as hell -Bee **

Ok, anda know how i used to tell anda that i got these vibes sometimes? Well, the hari i found out anda went to the hospital....i kept going to your profil and thinking "omfg something is wroong" and then Chris ((smart dude:)) diposting the bad news on your dinding and obviously i was the first to know..on fanpop.... and i was like freaking out and ....i remembered fighting with anda Sunday night..and i felt HORRIBLE omg..i was cryin. Then i didnt know what to do with myself, right? well then i told JayJAy and she just felt as bad as i did...and Chris kept telling us.."its not your fault, dont beat yourself up" and then i knew i had to tell Cherry, and i was scared cause i knew if i took the news hard, she would probably take it harder...but she did pretty well and she tried to blame herself..but i didnt let her..i had to take the blame and i told everyone if they wanted to blame someone i had to be blamed and i probably should have known something was wrong the moment anda told me your headaches were back and i didnt get the bad vibes till the selanjutnya day...well then i had to get off cause i was just going to cry, and cry and cry some more..so i got off and i just lay there freaking out and i didnt know what to do with myself..well then that night i had a beautiful nightmare...**i wanna cry again** ok in my dream..i was with ceri, cherry and Spunky Jay..we went to the hospital and it was kinda funni (NOT HAHA FUNNI lebih LIKE I CANT BELIEVE IT FUNNI) that i could smell the hospital and here the beep beep of the intercom and we me and ceri, cherry and jay reached your room Chris was already in there with anda but anda were hooked up to all these wires and we us three girls walked in it was like anda knew we were there and anda woke up and me and ceri, cherry and jay just shrieked and cried and hugged eachother so hard and damn i could feel that hug .....but then the sucky part was that i woke up in a cold sweat crying cuz i didnt get to see the end of the dream and cuz it was the first time i ever dreamed about anda atau ceri, cherry atau Spunky jay and i know for sure Chris...


but i wanted to tell anda this cause i just want anda to realize that i never really mean all those things i say about anda and i just want anda to know that i dont hate anda and that i have ALWAYS LOVED anda JSUT AS MUCH AS AS I cinta ceri, cherry AND JAYJAY AND JORDAN i hope anda know that and i never wanna hurt anda again and i promise i will try to keep my cool and my head ok? Cause i was also brought up not to let people get the best of me and i was brought up pretty much like anda were ....i hope anda get better and i am praying for you




cinta Back To anda From

Bianca<3