putri disney Article: cinderella & cinderella (part 1)

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posted by deedragongirl

The 2 Ellas!

Once upon a time, the disney Princess visit their goddaughter name Dee in Malaysia. One day, they decide to do some window shopping at a new shopping mall, when a door knock is heard.
Dee opens the door, and was surprise to see a familiar face at her door. "Hi there, may I come in?" asks the young girl. Who was only in her early 20's, this young beautiful blonde haired girl is also very pretty. She's also a French.
"Hi Dee Dee, who is it at the-", asks Cinderella, stopping dead at her track. "Hi Cinderella, remember me?" asks the young girl happily as she enters, the other princesses went to main entrance and are astonished at the scene. "Who are you?" asks Merida in her thick Scottish accent.
"Oh! anda don't know who I am? My name is Ella, also known as Cinderella!" replied Ella. At this point, all of the other princesses and Dee gasp in horror. "I knew it! I knew you'd come!" balasa cinderella sadly.
"Cinderella, anda never told us about this?" exclaimed Dee Dee. "Oh don't worry, I bet she wants to surprise you! Anyway, I'm inviting anda all to my movie selanjutnya month! Kit will be coming in anytime soon to see anda all." balasa Ella.
"We heard about it, please come in the kitchen, and we can talk about it." replied Anna and Elsa. Dee and the princesses guide them to the kitchen, they talk about the movie with Ella while cinderella goes upstairs and confronted Prince Charming, who was having a shower.
"We should have told them last night, Prince Charming!" told cinderella in tears. "I didn't expect them to come." balasa Prince Charming angrily, it seems that their relationship has took a turn for the worse. Since their popularity is dying!
The other princesses including Ella and Dee, go upstairs to find out what is happening. They managed to calm the two parties down and go downstairs to meet Prince Kit.
The other princesses and Dee talked to them, while cinderella and Prince Charming pack their things. They will be leaving back to their native France, knowing that they like their life-action counterpart will have lebih success than them. In order not to disappoint their guest, they stayed for dinner.
After dinner, Dee Dee asks Prince Charming and cinderella into the room. They look at each other nervously, worried that Dee Dee will upset about their argument earlier on.

akatsuki48 likes this

PrincessAyeka12 I remember this now. I read the original. It seemed rushed. This is lighter which is good. You've got a few mistakes. So "you'll" should be [b]you'd[/b], "confronts" should be [b]confronted[/b], "manage" should be [b]managed[/b] and lastly "stay" should be [b]stayed[/b]. "They will be leaving back to their native France, knowing that they like them." This sentence doesn't make sense. Unless you've done a prequel fan fiction explaining the origins behind your original character = Dee Dee. I'd suggest somewhere explaining her background. Like a more detailed explanation about how she's related to Cinderella enough to become her god daughter or how Cinderella came to realise she had a god daughter. Just so the reader understands Dee Dee's role in the fan fiction. "One day, they decide to do some window shopping, when a door knock is heard." I don't understand this. How can you window shop inside a house? I think you meant [b]They went into town to do some window shopping and then they decided to walk back. They had only been home a few minutes when they heard a knock at the door.[/b]

deedragongirl ^^ No problem!!! Yes, that was what I meant!!!!!

PrincessAyeka12 Oh yes and "astonish" should be [b]astonished[/b]. Okay I'm done. :)

deedragongirl ^^ Thank you!! I love you!!!

PrincessAyeka12 No problem. I like helping if I can.