I have a secret: I'm afraid. I'm terribly afraid that I AM GOING TO DIE. I didn't ask for leukemia. Nor did I expect it. Especially not chronic myelogenous leukemia. Especially when chronic myelogenous leukemia tends to affect the OLDER males, and I'm only what, 14?
But do anda know why it has to be a secret? I have a family: my dad and Jae, my youngest sister. [Yeah, I have two more, but, they're out of my life at the moment.] They cried their hearts out once I was diagnosed. They were afraid that they'd lose another family member--after all, my mother passed away after a car accident. I promised to be strong. For Dad. For Jae. For Mom.
But if being strong means that I have to hold back all these tears, that I have to surpress all my fear in order to comfort my family, sometimes I wish I didn't make that promise.
But do anda know why it has to be a secret? I have a family: my dad and Jae, my youngest sister. [Yeah, I have two more, but, they're out of my life at the moment.] They cried their hearts out once I was diagnosed. They were afraid that they'd lose another family member--after all, my mother passed away after a car accident. I promised to be strong. For Dad. For Jae. For Mom.
But if being strong means that I have to hold back all these tears, that I have to surpress all my fear in order to comfort my family, sometimes I wish I didn't make that promise.
I was in the class the other day, and Mrs.Crosswaer was handing out new assignments. And he stared at me! Oh his name is Sam, and he was staring at me dreamly!!!!!!!!!!!
It was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cooooooooooooooool!
I am SO SORRY! It had to be lonfer so yeah!
It was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cooooooooooooooool!
I am SO SORRY! It had to be lonfer so yeah!
*********************
One lonely sunday afternoon
I sit in my chamber and have nothing to do
My cinta is far away
I wonder if (s)he's already forgotten me
So I sadly watch the sky
See the raindrops passing by
One looonely sunday afternooon...
One looonely sunday afternoon
One lonely sunday afternoon
I'm even as my bunga still out of bloom
I find some old photos, covered with dust
I cannot forget anda although I know that I must
So I sadly let them fly
And this time I have to cry
One looonely sunday afternooon...
One looonely sunday afternoon
**********************
anda seek for spark of hope.
Your life held by
darkness thoughts,
anchor is
some place else.
Bad luck follows anda
like a hook,
won't let anda go,
won't leave anda alone.
anda smile today,
and cry whole eternity,
like that's your fate,
disturbing thoughts
to lie inside of you,
to take away everything
that anda hope for.
Devil is calling your name,
leaves anda not,
anda don't see the malaikat on
your shoulder,
trying to give anda a strength.
anda long for life
that anda don't know of,
anda seek for peace,
trying to get away
from misty forest
that stains your heart
into black.