The Last Goodbye
I am standing on my tiptoes with my arms around him and he is bending down so that I can reach. There are tears of joy, and cheering. It is too loud to hear even my own thoughts but somehow I still manage to hear the sound of my jantung in my ears as I cling to my friend. After a long moment, we both pull back slightly and my hands slide over the strange fabric of his bright blue graduation gown. I look up at him knowing this could be the last times I see my most treasured friends. His hand leaves my shoulder, and he places it lightly on my face. My jantung nearly stops as something in his face changes. Every nerve in my body is on edge. Why is he doing this to me? I know he doesn’t feel the same he has never even considered it. Still he slides his hand slowly meneruskan, ke depan and down until his thumb is touching the corner of my mouth. The tip of his finger traces the line of my bottom lip until it reaches the center of my lips and rests there. He isn’t looking at my eyes he is looking at his hand as he slowly pulls his thumb lower and the pressure causes my lips to separate. I let out a hot breath and the air hits his skin, and he lowers his thumb and the rest of his fingers pindah until he is holding my face oleh the chin. I have been waiting for this moment for so long. I have been waiting for him to stop seeing me as his young freshman friend that he watched graduate high school and finish the first tahun of college. He is finally seeing me, a young woman. He really is the perfect guy. He never thought of me in a degrading way, he was always gentle, kind, and wise. He never saw how much harder that made it for me to resist, and now he is looking at me and I know he is truly seeing me for the first time. He is leaning toward me, it’s a scene I’ve played in my head so many times it hurts, and all I can think is:
“Don’t.”
I whisper the word with closed eyes and pull away. He lets go and both our arms fall to our sides. The confusion in his light brown eyes is clear, but I don’t know if it is caused oleh my words, atau oleh his sudden realization that I’m not a little kid anymore but I explain anyway.
“Jonathan, this isn’t you, and I can’t do this. As much as I would cinta to just stand here and let this happen—let anda ciuman me—and forget that anda are leaving soon, forget that I may not ever see anda again after this summer, forget that afterwards anda will regret it with all your heart, and then have to break mine, I can’t. But if anda do, if anda can see us. If anda think anda could cinta me, for lebih than just today then do it. ciuman me. But unless anda have thought about it, unless anda have weighed the pros and cons, unless anda see the possibility for a real relationship here—don’t. Unless anda know in your jantung that this isn't just something anda will feel now and regret later, then please, don’t.”
A tear rolls down my face and lebih swim in my eyes blurring my vision and I can hardly see his face. In that membagi, split second—my taste of eternity—it felt as though all the hurt in the world was mine to bear. The moment stretched forever, I was conscious of ever heartbeat that didn’t happen, while I waited for my dreams to shatter atau come true. Then I blinked, and the rest of the tears came flooding down clearing off my eyes so I can see him. He is just staring and thinking. He doesn’t pindah and I don’t breathe. Then his gaze leaves the floor, and he is looking in my eyes again. For the detik time in all the years that I’ve known him he touches my face and pulls me close, but his lips instead of meeting mine draw close to my ear, and in a chocked voice he whispers:
“I’m sorry.”
I am standing on my tiptoes with my arms around him and he is bending down so that I can reach. There are tears of joy, and cheering. It is too loud to hear even my own thoughts but somehow I still manage to hear the sound of my jantung in my ears as I cling to my friend. After a long moment, we both pull back slightly and my hands slide over the strange fabric of his bright blue graduation gown. I look up at him knowing this could be the last times I see my most treasured friends. His hand leaves my shoulder, and he places it lightly on my face. My jantung nearly stops as something in his face changes. Every nerve in my body is on edge. Why is he doing this to me? I know he doesn’t feel the same he has never even considered it. Still he slides his hand slowly meneruskan, ke depan and down until his thumb is touching the corner of my mouth. The tip of his finger traces the line of my bottom lip until it reaches the center of my lips and rests there. He isn’t looking at my eyes he is looking at his hand as he slowly pulls his thumb lower and the pressure causes my lips to separate. I let out a hot breath and the air hits his skin, and he lowers his thumb and the rest of his fingers pindah until he is holding my face oleh the chin. I have been waiting for this moment for so long. I have been waiting for him to stop seeing me as his young freshman friend that he watched graduate high school and finish the first tahun of college. He is finally seeing me, a young woman. He really is the perfect guy. He never thought of me in a degrading way, he was always gentle, kind, and wise. He never saw how much harder that made it for me to resist, and now he is looking at me and I know he is truly seeing me for the first time. He is leaning toward me, it’s a scene I’ve played in my head so many times it hurts, and all I can think is:
“Don’t.”
I whisper the word with closed eyes and pull away. He lets go and both our arms fall to our sides. The confusion in his light brown eyes is clear, but I don’t know if it is caused oleh my words, atau oleh his sudden realization that I’m not a little kid anymore but I explain anyway.
“Jonathan, this isn’t you, and I can’t do this. As much as I would cinta to just stand here and let this happen—let anda ciuman me—and forget that anda are leaving soon, forget that I may not ever see anda again after this summer, forget that afterwards anda will regret it with all your heart, and then have to break mine, I can’t. But if anda do, if anda can see us. If anda think anda could cinta me, for lebih than just today then do it. ciuman me. But unless anda have thought about it, unless anda have weighed the pros and cons, unless anda see the possibility for a real relationship here—don’t. Unless anda know in your jantung that this isn't just something anda will feel now and regret later, then please, don’t.”
A tear rolls down my face and lebih swim in my eyes blurring my vision and I can hardly see his face. In that membagi, split second—my taste of eternity—it felt as though all the hurt in the world was mine to bear. The moment stretched forever, I was conscious of ever heartbeat that didn’t happen, while I waited for my dreams to shatter atau come true. Then I blinked, and the rest of the tears came flooding down clearing off my eyes so I can see him. He is just staring and thinking. He doesn’t pindah and I don’t breathe. Then his gaze leaves the floor, and he is looking in my eyes again. For the detik time in all the years that I’ve known him he touches my face and pulls me close, but his lips instead of meeting mine draw close to my ear, and in a chocked voice he whispers:
“I’m sorry.”
1 being the best 10 the worst
These buku are great for summer membaca I can honestly say that anyone that reads them will want to read them again.
10. Deacula oleh Bram Stoker
9. The Hobbit oleh Tolken
8. I'm the king of the kastil, castle oleh Susan Hill
7. 1984 oleh George Orwell
6. The secret diary of Adrian tahi lalat oleh Sue Townsend
5. Pride and prejudice oleh Jane Austine
4. Jane Eyre oleh charlotte Bronte
3. Lord of the Flies oleh William Golding
2. The curious incident of the dog in the nighttime oleh Mark Haddon
1 Rebecca oleh Daphne du Maurier
These buku are great for summer membaca I can honestly say that anyone that reads them will want to read them again.
10. Deacula oleh Bram Stoker
9. The Hobbit oleh Tolken
8. I'm the king of the kastil, castle oleh Susan Hill
7. 1984 oleh George Orwell
6. The secret diary of Adrian tahi lalat oleh Sue Townsend
5. Pride and prejudice oleh Jane Austine
4. Jane Eyre oleh charlotte Bronte
3. Lord of the Flies oleh William Golding
2. The curious incident of the dog in the nighttime oleh Mark Haddon
1 Rebecca oleh Daphne du Maurier
Remembering is just an invention of the mind,
So anda need not try to remember something,
anda remember it automatically.
Which is the best thing that anda could have.
The good times that we had...
It is placed in a portion of your mind.
The bad times that we had...
It is placed in the other part of your mind.
anda try to forget all of the bad things that happened,
But it is not possible.
It is stuck in you.
The bad things are painted in ink on your heart.
The good things, anda try to remember.
And they stay.
They never go.
Never leave you.
Remembering is just an invention of the mind.
And, well...I guess I'm happy for that.
So I can remember every friend I've had,
Every boyfriend,
And all the good times.
Every memory will never leave my heart.
They will never be forsaken.
Never.
So anda need not try to remember something,
anda remember it automatically.
Which is the best thing that anda could have.
The good times that we had...
It is placed in a portion of your mind.
The bad times that we had...
It is placed in the other part of your mind.
anda try to forget all of the bad things that happened,
But it is not possible.
It is stuck in you.
The bad things are painted in ink on your heart.
The good things, anda try to remember.
And they stay.
They never go.
Never leave you.
Remembering is just an invention of the mind.
And, well...I guess I'm happy for that.
So I can remember every friend I've had,
Every boyfriend,
And all the good times.
Every memory will never leave my heart.
They will never be forsaken.
Never.