Shaun
Four months. Four agonizing months since I had seen her in the park. Four agonizing months of starting to dial her number, and then stopping myself.
I am listening to the middle aged woman complain about her life. She doesn't even need a therapist.
I will the clock to pindah faster. My office is dark, modern, and devoid of warmth. Ironically, it fits me.
Thankfully, the session is over. I tell Amamda that she's made progress, selanjutnya week, and it's been a pleasure. Notice the lie. I glance down at the meja tulis, meja calender, and look up 2:30.
I don't get a chance to see who is scheduled next, because I hear someone entering the room. Automatically, I look up, and see her.
She is looking at the floor.
Serena
I looked him up. Kayla convinced me to go. I protested, trying to say that Ashleigh needed watching. She berkata she would wait with Ashleigh. Eventually, I gave in.
She was trying everything to forget, but I knew she was only blocking everything out because it hurt to remember.
**************************************************
We walked into the small private practice, Ashleigh, now a four tahun old, was holding onto Kayla's hand determindly.
I walked calmly over to a crescent shaped meja tulis, meja with a grey plastic surface patterned to look like marble, with an equally fake receptionist sitting behing it. She was pretty in a bland, emotionless way. Her voice was irritatingly smug as she said, "Do anda have appointment?"
Calmly, I said, "Serena Meyer, Guardian Ad Litem. I'm here to speak to Dr. Shaun McCarthy. It was a personal appointment. Legal matters," I lie.
The woman blinks, and points me to a corridor with the instructions, "Third door on the right."
I thank her, and tell Kayla to wait here with Ashleigh.
I breathe in, trying to calm myself, and push the door open.
Four months. Four agonizing months since I had seen her in the park. Four agonizing months of starting to dial her number, and then stopping myself.
I am listening to the middle aged woman complain about her life. She doesn't even need a therapist.
I will the clock to pindah faster. My office is dark, modern, and devoid of warmth. Ironically, it fits me.
Thankfully, the session is over. I tell Amamda that she's made progress, selanjutnya week, and it's been a pleasure. Notice the lie. I glance down at the meja tulis, meja calender, and look up 2:30.
I don't get a chance to see who is scheduled next, because I hear someone entering the room. Automatically, I look up, and see her.
She is looking at the floor.
Serena
I looked him up. Kayla convinced me to go. I protested, trying to say that Ashleigh needed watching. She berkata she would wait with Ashleigh. Eventually, I gave in.
She was trying everything to forget, but I knew she was only blocking everything out because it hurt to remember.
**************************************************
We walked into the small private practice, Ashleigh, now a four tahun old, was holding onto Kayla's hand determindly.
I walked calmly over to a crescent shaped meja tulis, meja with a grey plastic surface patterned to look like marble, with an equally fake receptionist sitting behing it. She was pretty in a bland, emotionless way. Her voice was irritatingly smug as she said, "Do anda have appointment?"
Calmly, I said, "Serena Meyer, Guardian Ad Litem. I'm here to speak to Dr. Shaun McCarthy. It was a personal appointment. Legal matters," I lie.
The woman blinks, and points me to a corridor with the instructions, "Third door on the right."
I thank her, and tell Kayla to wait here with Ashleigh.
I breathe in, trying to calm myself, and push the door open.
I sit and wonder…
Whatever happened to the days?
Watching BSG and lost with Charles,
Playing bintang Wars with him,
And Shortys?
Whatever happened to the days?
Of Josh helping me through the grief of my father’s death.
Whatever happened to the days?
Of chicken and egg salad sandwiches at the SUB and take-out Chinese for dinner?
Whatever happened to the days?
Of GIRLS NIGHT OUT!
Whatever happened to the days?
Of spring at KU?
Whatever happened to the days?
Of KU’s waterfall and walks at midnight…
Whatever happened to the days?
Of all my friends at KU, and what great friends they were.
Whatever happened to the days?
Whatever happened to the days?
Watching BSG and lost with Charles,
Playing bintang Wars with him,
And Shortys?
Whatever happened to the days?
Of Josh helping me through the grief of my father’s death.
Whatever happened to the days?
Of chicken and egg salad sandwiches at the SUB and take-out Chinese for dinner?
Whatever happened to the days?
Of GIRLS NIGHT OUT!
Whatever happened to the days?
Of spring at KU?
Whatever happened to the days?
Of KU’s waterfall and walks at midnight…
Whatever happened to the days?
Of all my friends at KU, and what great friends they were.
Whatever happened to the days?
I needed more, more! I threw the book across the dimly lit, wooden attic. The book hit a stack of old newspapers. I tore open yet another book. Nothing would give me my answers.
Why did I feel the need to care for Lucy? Why could I not get Alexander out of my head?
There were pages, and pages of the thought process, but nothing to explain what I felt! Why could no one manage to capture these feelings, and explain them?
A knock on the door interrupted me. “What?” I snapped.
“It is past midnight, Damien. Come to bed,” berkata Grey through the door.
“I’ll come when I want to. Now, go away!” Could she not understand I was confused, and angry? She possessed such naivety.
“Fine!” Grey yelled. I heard her storm down the steps. Then I heard her bedroom door slam. I let out a puff of air.
Then I threw another book against the wall. I kicked the whole stack of books, and watched as they toppled over. I threw myself onto the floor, and began crying.
Why did I feel the need to care for Lucy? Why could I not get Alexander out of my head?
There were pages, and pages of the thought process, but nothing to explain what I felt! Why could no one manage to capture these feelings, and explain them?
A knock on the door interrupted me. “What?” I snapped.
“It is past midnight, Damien. Come to bed,” berkata Grey through the door.
“I’ll come when I want to. Now, go away!” Could she not understand I was confused, and angry? She possessed such naivety.
“Fine!” Grey yelled. I heard her storm down the steps. Then I heard her bedroom door slam. I let out a puff of air.
Then I threw another book against the wall. I kicked the whole stack of books, and watched as they toppled over. I threw myself onto the floor, and began crying.
