I brought Hera and Desiree halaman awal the selanjutnya morning. Hera begged me not to tell Dad and Kara what really happened last night. For a moment, I considered just telling them the truth. At least they'd make sure it never happened again. But then I stopped. It was just one time, right?
"Only if anda promise to never do it again," I warned. She nodded quickly.
"I won't. I promise."
"Fine," I sighed. "Besides, I'm not the one you'll need to convince to keep her mouth shut." Both of us turned to Desiree. She smiled evilly.
"Please, Dezzie. Don't say anything. I'll get anda a My Little pony if anda do, ok?" Hera pleaded. Desiree thought for a while, then agreed. Hera breathed a sigh of relief. I wondered if Desiree would keep her word.
"Hey girls," Dad said, opening the front door and letting us in. I gave him a hug.
"Hey Dad."
"So, what made anda decide to have them over so late?" he asked, somewhat suspiciously. I shrugged.
"Blake was at work, and I was lonely. I hadn't seen them in a while, so..." I lied smoothly. Hopefully he'd buy it.
"Well that was nice of you," Kara smiled. "Did anda girls have fun?" Hera and Desiree nodded. Kara patted Desiree's head. I hung around the house for a while, and talked to Dad and Kara about how things were, then I headed back home. I plopped down on the couch, and sighed.
"So what happened?" Blake asked. I jumped. I thought he was at work. He came and sat oleh me on the couch.
"Hera's boyfriend brought her to his house, with Desiree, then took her to a bar, got drunk, and had left Desiree at his house," I said. He raised his eyebrows.
"Seems like anda had quite a night," he observed. I closed my eyes and nodded.
"I got no sleep last night," I breathed sleepily. I laid my head on his shoulder, and he wrapped his arms around me as I faded into sleep.
***
The selanjutnya week, Hera was in a car accident.
We arrived at the hospital, with Dad, Kara, and Desiree in the waiting room.
"Is she ok?" I asked, tears in my eyes. Everyone in the waiting room had the same expression on. Fear, anxiety, worry, sadness...
"She has a broken leg, and a broken arm. But other than that, she'll be ok," Dad sighed. Blake patted my back.
"You can go see her if anda like. She might be sleeping now, but it can't hurt," Kara berkata softly. I nodded. Blake squeezed my hand once, then sat down selanjutnya to Desiree, allowing me to be alone with Hera.
She looked so fragile and helpless in the hospital bed, huge casts on her left leg and arm. There was a brace around her neck, but only for precautions. Her face was badly bruised and cut. Her left eye was swollen shut, and her lip started to bleed again as her tongue reopened the wound when she licked her lips. She started to cry when she saw me.
"Irina," she berkata hoarsely. "I'm so sorry." I sat down selanjutnya to her, and stroked her hair. It broke my jantung to look at her.
"It's ok. You're gonna be fine," I whispered.
"We were drunk. I'm sorry. It's all my fault. If I hadn't been drinking, I could've stopped them..." I furrowed my eyebrows.
"What do anda mean 'we'?" I gasped. "There were other people with you?" She nodded, then winced.
"Delilah and Jenny. Jenny was driving.... Are they ok?" she asked. The nervousness in her voice grew. I stroked her hair soothingly again.
"I honestly don't know. I'll find out later, ok? I'm sure they're fine. anda probably got it the worst, oleh the looks of it."
"Ok," she whispered. She was quiet for a moment. "I guess we need to tell Mom and Dad this time, huh?" I pursed my lips. Actually, she should tell them, but I had a feeling if I left it to her she wouldn't tell them. I nodded.
"I think so."
"They're gonna kill me," she groaned.
"Not when you're broken this bad," I berkata sarcastically, trying to lighten the mood. She smirked.
"I guess. Well, then I'm aman, brankas for a couple months."
"Guess so," I shrugged. "You should get some rest now." I kissed her forehead tenderly, careful not to hurt her anymore than she already was. She closed her eyes, and I left the room quietly. "Dad?" I asked. "Umm... She..." I began, but he nodded.
"We know. She was drunk," he berkata gravely.
"How'd anda know?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows.
"We could smell it across the room," he berkata quietly. I bit my lip and nodded.
"Um, and she berkata her friend was driving. And there was also another girl with them in the car. How are they doing?" I asked. The room got eerily quiet.
"Well," Dad berkata slowly, as if trying to spare my feelings. "They died." I felt like I just got kicked in the stomach. I had nearly assured Hera that her friends were ok. And plus, those poor girls. They just began their life...
I sat down, and put my head in my hands. Blake rubbed my back softly. Why did I feel like this was my fault? I guess it was in a way... If I had told Dad and Kara what really happened last week, they would have grounded her. Then she wouldn't have been with her friends, and they wouldn't have been drinking maybe. That's the keyword, I guess. Maybe. I don't know who's idea it was to drink, and then go for a little car ride. It could have been Hera's, it could have been one of the other girls'. I sighed.
Blake and I went halaman awal a little while later, partly because I'm a coward and didn't want to be the one to tell Hera that her friends were dead. When we got home, it felt grey and dismal.
"You ok?" Blake asked, as he went to the dapur to go start dinner. I sat on the couch, and brought my knees up to my chest.
"Is it my fault?" I asked helplessly. I heard him pause, then restart getting the dishes out of the cupboard.
"No. How could it be your fault?" he asked. I shrugged, even though he couldn't see it.
After dinner, I took a mandi, shower and went to bed. I felt anxious, even though I knew Hera was aman, brankas at the hospital. I guess I was worried for her future. I didn't want her to come close to how I used to be. I didn't want her to be near death, atau make stupid choices.
Blake seemed to read my mind. He rolled over, facing me.
"You can't blame yourself for this, y'know." His voice was so perceptible, even in a whisper, in the silence of the night.
"How come," I breathed.
"She's an adult. She makes her own decisions. Just because anda made similiar ones before, doesn't mean you're to blame," he berkata quietly.
"That still doesn't make me feel better," I pointed out. He reached over, and pulled me close to him. My jantung fluttered.
"Just go to sleep, Irina," he said, somewhat exasperated. "It'll all be forgotten in the morning."
"Thanks for reminding me," I berkata sarcastically. He sighed, and I kissed him goodnight.
"Only if anda promise to never do it again," I warned. She nodded quickly.
"I won't. I promise."
"Fine," I sighed. "Besides, I'm not the one you'll need to convince to keep her mouth shut." Both of us turned to Desiree. She smiled evilly.
"Please, Dezzie. Don't say anything. I'll get anda a My Little pony if anda do, ok?" Hera pleaded. Desiree thought for a while, then agreed. Hera breathed a sigh of relief. I wondered if Desiree would keep her word.
"Hey girls," Dad said, opening the front door and letting us in. I gave him a hug.
"Hey Dad."
"So, what made anda decide to have them over so late?" he asked, somewhat suspiciously. I shrugged.
"Blake was at work, and I was lonely. I hadn't seen them in a while, so..." I lied smoothly. Hopefully he'd buy it.
"Well that was nice of you," Kara smiled. "Did anda girls have fun?" Hera and Desiree nodded. Kara patted Desiree's head. I hung around the house for a while, and talked to Dad and Kara about how things were, then I headed back home. I plopped down on the couch, and sighed.
"So what happened?" Blake asked. I jumped. I thought he was at work. He came and sat oleh me on the couch.
"Hera's boyfriend brought her to his house, with Desiree, then took her to a bar, got drunk, and had left Desiree at his house," I said. He raised his eyebrows.
"Seems like anda had quite a night," he observed. I closed my eyes and nodded.
"I got no sleep last night," I breathed sleepily. I laid my head on his shoulder, and he wrapped his arms around me as I faded into sleep.
***
The selanjutnya week, Hera was in a car accident.
We arrived at the hospital, with Dad, Kara, and Desiree in the waiting room.
"Is she ok?" I asked, tears in my eyes. Everyone in the waiting room had the same expression on. Fear, anxiety, worry, sadness...
"She has a broken leg, and a broken arm. But other than that, she'll be ok," Dad sighed. Blake patted my back.
"You can go see her if anda like. She might be sleeping now, but it can't hurt," Kara berkata softly. I nodded. Blake squeezed my hand once, then sat down selanjutnya to Desiree, allowing me to be alone with Hera.
She looked so fragile and helpless in the hospital bed, huge casts on her left leg and arm. There was a brace around her neck, but only for precautions. Her face was badly bruised and cut. Her left eye was swollen shut, and her lip started to bleed again as her tongue reopened the wound when she licked her lips. She started to cry when she saw me.
"Irina," she berkata hoarsely. "I'm so sorry." I sat down selanjutnya to her, and stroked her hair. It broke my jantung to look at her.
"It's ok. You're gonna be fine," I whispered.
"We were drunk. I'm sorry. It's all my fault. If I hadn't been drinking, I could've stopped them..." I furrowed my eyebrows.
"What do anda mean 'we'?" I gasped. "There were other people with you?" She nodded, then winced.
"Delilah and Jenny. Jenny was driving.... Are they ok?" she asked. The nervousness in her voice grew. I stroked her hair soothingly again.
"I honestly don't know. I'll find out later, ok? I'm sure they're fine. anda probably got it the worst, oleh the looks of it."
"Ok," she whispered. She was quiet for a moment. "I guess we need to tell Mom and Dad this time, huh?" I pursed my lips. Actually, she should tell them, but I had a feeling if I left it to her she wouldn't tell them. I nodded.
"I think so."
"They're gonna kill me," she groaned.
"Not when you're broken this bad," I berkata sarcastically, trying to lighten the mood. She smirked.
"I guess. Well, then I'm aman, brankas for a couple months."
"Guess so," I shrugged. "You should get some rest now." I kissed her forehead tenderly, careful not to hurt her anymore than she already was. She closed her eyes, and I left the room quietly. "Dad?" I asked. "Umm... She..." I began, but he nodded.
"We know. She was drunk," he berkata gravely.
"How'd anda know?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows.
"We could smell it across the room," he berkata quietly. I bit my lip and nodded.
"Um, and she berkata her friend was driving. And there was also another girl with them in the car. How are they doing?" I asked. The room got eerily quiet.
"Well," Dad berkata slowly, as if trying to spare my feelings. "They died." I felt like I just got kicked in the stomach. I had nearly assured Hera that her friends were ok. And plus, those poor girls. They just began their life...
I sat down, and put my head in my hands. Blake rubbed my back softly. Why did I feel like this was my fault? I guess it was in a way... If I had told Dad and Kara what really happened last week, they would have grounded her. Then she wouldn't have been with her friends, and they wouldn't have been drinking maybe. That's the keyword, I guess. Maybe. I don't know who's idea it was to drink, and then go for a little car ride. It could have been Hera's, it could have been one of the other girls'. I sighed.
Blake and I went halaman awal a little while later, partly because I'm a coward and didn't want to be the one to tell Hera that her friends were dead. When we got home, it felt grey and dismal.
"You ok?" Blake asked, as he went to the dapur to go start dinner. I sat on the couch, and brought my knees up to my chest.
"Is it my fault?" I asked helplessly. I heard him pause, then restart getting the dishes out of the cupboard.
"No. How could it be your fault?" he asked. I shrugged, even though he couldn't see it.
After dinner, I took a mandi, shower and went to bed. I felt anxious, even though I knew Hera was aman, brankas at the hospital. I guess I was worried for her future. I didn't want her to come close to how I used to be. I didn't want her to be near death, atau make stupid choices.
Blake seemed to read my mind. He rolled over, facing me.
"You can't blame yourself for this, y'know." His voice was so perceptible, even in a whisper, in the silence of the night.
"How come," I breathed.
"She's an adult. She makes her own decisions. Just because anda made similiar ones before, doesn't mean you're to blame," he berkata quietly.
"That still doesn't make me feel better," I pointed out. He reached over, and pulled me close to him. My jantung fluttered.
"Just go to sleep, Irina," he said, somewhat exasperated. "It'll all be forgotten in the morning."
"Thanks for reminding me," I berkata sarcastically. He sighed, and I kissed him goodnight.
Always running
All the time,
Chasing a dream
As I follow the signs.
Out of breath
I miss a turn,
I wander the paths
Ready to learn.
I start to get impatient
I'm working so hard,
So how come I'm not there yet
I've played all my cards.
Life is like a rollercoaster
Mine never stops,
It takes me round in circles
Back to the start.
There are so many highs and lows
Yet they''re all the same,
I need a change of track
Something different to my name.
Each step I take aches my body
And I'm waiting for the day,
That a different train will come along
And take me a different way.
All the time,
Chasing a dream
As I follow the signs.
Out of breath
I miss a turn,
I wander the paths
Ready to learn.
I start to get impatient
I'm working so hard,
So how come I'm not there yet
I've played all my cards.
Life is like a rollercoaster
Mine never stops,
It takes me round in circles
Back to the start.
There are so many highs and lows
Yet they''re all the same,
I need a change of track
Something different to my name.
Each step I take aches my body
And I'm waiting for the day,
That a different train will come along
And take me a different way.
Dusty Streets
A blazing sun,
food and Water
There is none.
Living on hope
Crying out,
Helping others
Around and about.
Children Shouting
They wail and cry,
Willing for a change
A signal, a sign.
They're grateful for everytihng
Whatever comes their way,
They're constantly working
All night, all day.
The air is filthy
They cough and they weep,
They want to survive
They sniffle and sleep.
Begging off strangers
It's all they can do,
Someone to help them
It could be you.
-Emily Eaton (13)
A blazing sun,
food and Water
There is none.
Living on hope
Crying out,
Helping others
Around and about.
Children Shouting
They wail and cry,
Willing for a change
A signal, a sign.
They're grateful for everytihng
Whatever comes their way,
They're constantly working
All night, all day.
The air is filthy
They cough and they weep,
They want to survive
They sniffle and sleep.
Begging off strangers
It's all they can do,
Someone to help them
It could be you.
-Emily Eaton (13)
I have a secret: I'm afraid. I'm terribly afraid that I AM GOING TO DIE. I didn't ask for leukemia. Nor did I expect it. Especially not chronic myelogenous leukemia. Especially when chronic myelogenous leukemia tends to affect the OLDER males, and I'm only what, 14?
But do anda know why it has to be a secret? I have a family: my dad and Jae, my youngest sister. [Yeah, I have two more, but, they're out of my life at the moment.] They cried their hearts out once I was diagnosed. They were afraid that they'd lose another family member--after all, my mother passed away after a car accident. I promised to be strong. For Dad. For Jae. For Mom.
But if being strong means that I have to hold back all these tears, that I have to surpress all my fear in order to comfort my family, sometimes I wish I didn't make that promise.
But do anda know why it has to be a secret? I have a family: my dad and Jae, my youngest sister. [Yeah, I have two more, but, they're out of my life at the moment.] They cried their hearts out once I was diagnosed. They were afraid that they'd lose another family member--after all, my mother passed away after a car accident. I promised to be strong. For Dad. For Jae. For Mom.
But if being strong means that I have to hold back all these tears, that I have to surpress all my fear in order to comfort my family, sometimes I wish I didn't make that promise.
I was in the class the other day, and Mrs.Crosswaer was handing out new assignments. And he stared at me! Oh his name is Sam, and he was staring at me dreamly!!!!!!!!!!!
It was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cooooooooooooooool!
I am SO SORRY! It had to be lonfer so yeah!
It was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cooooooooooooooool!
I am SO SORRY! It had to be lonfer so yeah!
*********************
One lonely sunday afternoon
I sit in my chamber and have nothing to do
My cinta is far away
I wonder if (s)he's already forgotten me
So I sadly watch the sky
See the raindrops passing by
One looonely sunday afternooon...
One looonely sunday afternoon
One lonely sunday afternoon
I'm even as my bunga still out of bloom
I find some old photos, covered with dust
I cannot forget anda although I know that I must
So I sadly let them fly
And this time I have to cry
One looonely sunday afternooon...
One looonely sunday afternoon
**********************
anda seek for spark of hope.
Your life held by
darkness thoughts,
anchor is
some place else.
Bad luck follows anda
like a hook,
won't let anda go,
won't leave anda alone.
anda smile today,
and cry whole eternity,
like that's your fate,
disturbing thoughts
to lie inside of you,
to take away everything
that anda hope for.
Devil is calling your name,
leaves anda not,
anda don't see the malaikat on
your shoulder,
trying to give anda a strength.
anda long for life
that anda don't know of,
anda seek for peace,
trying to get away
from misty forest
that stains your heart
into black.
Hayly's gucci boots
