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Does this sound ok?

Sorry for any misspells. My iPod has a mind of it's own.

I quickly crossed the grassy field,not looking both ways. Today had been terrible. Well,more terrible than usual. There's the usual; my mom doesn't wake me up on time and even though every night I set my alarm,it still never goes off,didn't have enough time to eat breakfast,and then left something at halaman awal and had go drive back. 
  But something was off today. The way the air had turned suddenly hot in the middle of winter. The way my teacher sat and stared blankly at her desk. The way every person I passed seem to have their eyes glued to me. 
  I was too busy with membaca to notice a guy that was running straight towards me. He slammed into me and I wobbled back on my heels. Luckily I have always had pretty good balance so I stayed upright while he fell meneruskan, ke depan just to the side of me,a football rolling across the field. 
  He jumped back up and pressed my fingers into a now sore spot. 
  "Woah! I'm sorry. Are anda ok?" 
  I winced at the sore spot but I nodded and looked up. 
  "Um,yeah. I'm fine. Thanks." The boy standing in front of me had stroberi blonde hair and eyes the color of the sea. 
  He grinned and said,"Oh,that's good. I'm Pier-"
  "Yo! Pierce c'mon! Pass the football."
  He shrugged and picked up the football. When he got about half-way back to his friend I yelled out,"Narella! My name is Narella!"
 emiehs96 posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
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flowersforever said:
Yeah! I think that would make a great book. Keep up the good work!I would totally buy it from you. ;)
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posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu 
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Awh(: thank anda
emiehs96 posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
I_DONT-KNOW said:
wow, i like how this could turn out. I like things with twists, this could b one of them, r u goign to continue?
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posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu 
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Probably if enough peole say it's good,and thanks!
emiehs96 posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
final_fantasy17 said:
it's great keep it up :)
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posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu 
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:D thanks!
emiehs96 posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
Allieee said:
I REALLY LIKE IT , no joke.
I want to read it when you're done !!!

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posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu 
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I reposted it on here as an article. Its called lesser. And thank you! Im glad anda liked it.
emiehs96 posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
Immortal42 said:
YES, it's good! Continue it! (...Please...)
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posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu 
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I reposted it on here as an article. Its called lesser.
emiehs96 posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
theanimemaster said:
anda gonna finish this? cuz i really like this!
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posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu 
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I reposted it on here as an article. Its called lesser. And thanks! I appreciate it!
emiehs96 posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
marthatsal said:
I LIKE cinta STORIES AND I LIKE THIS ONE TOO. JUST BE CARELUL. WE HAVE SEEN A THOUSANTS OF cinta STORIES. TRY TO MAKE THIS ONE INTRESTING AND SPECIAL.I MEAN ... MAKE SURE THAT IS NOT JUST A COMMON cinta STORY "WHEN THE BOY FINDS ACCIDENTALLY THE GILR AND THEY LIVE HAPPYLY AFTER SOME DIFFICULTIES" THIS IS VERY COMMON. TRY TO DO THE DIFFERENCE!

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posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu 
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Ok. Thanks!
emiehs96 posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
writer67 said:
she was alowed to be granted the last wish of the eyes once met, she knew of his purest jantung wish, and he was worthy, she is oracle? good start, i can see that selling,even in comic;-]
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posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu 
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Haha thanks(:
emiehs96 posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
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