Chapter 14-
The selanjutnya morning I woke up early when I heard the door creaking open. I looked up and saw Lily standing in the doorway. “Hello Esme,” she smiled. “How are you?” she asked walking over.
“I'm alright Lily, I'm just tired.....” I sighed. “It's to be expected though,”
“Yes.... how is little Andrew?” she asked sitting down on the end of the bed. “I heard him coughing last night, so I've been wondering,” her komentar caused me to look down at the sleeping child selanjutnya to me. He was pale, other than fiery red cheeks. I gasped in shock. “I think he's ill,” I frowned.
Lily looked at me worriedly. “Do anda want me to call the doctor?” she asked. I nodded, feeling like I couldn't do anything else. She hurried out of the room and I picked up Andrew, I held him close and started to cry.
“Esie?” I heard another voice. I looked up, it was Tom. “Is he alright?” he asked worriedly.
“I don't know. I don't think he is.” I shook my head and wiped the tears off my face. “It scares me Tom... so badly I don't even want to think about it,” I told him.
“Oh Es.... I'm sorry. I can't even begin to understand.” he hugged me gently. “I know it must be hard for you. This is something you've dreamed of since we were nine years old,” he smiled slightly. “Is there anything I can do for you?” he asked.
“Well, nothing I can think of,” I berkata after a moment of thinking. “Maybe something to drink?” I looked at him slightly pleadingly. I felt helpless.
“Of course,” he smiled and bowed awkwardly. “At your service,”
I laughed. “Tom anda always can make me smile, that's the first thing I noticed about you,”
“I remember that too. The first hari we met, when we were six. I was walking, no running down the bukit, hill near your house as soon as I heard that the new family had a child my age. I'd never had a friend my age before.” he nodded.
“Yes, and I was standing outside with my family as soon as anda tripped down the hill, my father was even laughing. My mother was shocked and afraid...... she was right selanjutnya to anda as soon as anda stopped rolling. anda stood up and told her anda were fine.” I started where he left off.
“And I walked over to anda and bowed just like that and handed anda a flower, and in my high pitched little boy voice I introduced myself, anda giggled and took the flower. That's when Lily came down the bukit, hill after me, she was five at the time.”
“She scolded anda for flirting, because it wasn't right for a young boy to do. anda had to be at least thirteen to start flirting with a girl. She made me laugh to because she was so grown up..... she seemed at least ten years old to me. Despite her height. Lily has always been small,” I smiled. My mind was off the sadness for the moment.
“Yes.... she has.” Tom laughed. “It's so strange to think of how long we've known each other Esie,” he shook his head in disbelief.
“I know. anda and Lily have always been my best friends, and Abby is as well now,” I sighed. “I feel so lucky to have such wonderful friends, I don't think I deserve people who support me like anda three do,”
“Nonsense, we don't deserve you!” he smiled and hugged me again. Just then Lily walked into the room.
“The doctor is on his way.... it isn't the normal doctor anda see though. There's a new one in town,” she told me.
“Really? That's strange,” I replied. “But, I guess it might be alright for a change,” I was shocked oleh what I had just said. I had always been one to resist change, but, I must have been getting used to the fact that things were definitely changing for me. Everything in my life seemed to have been turned upside down lately, but I felt like this wasn't the end, that lebih change was coming. I shook my head and looked up at Tom and Lily, they were looking at me worriedly.
“Esme are anda alright?” Lily asked. “You look worried about something....”
“No... I'm alright. I was just thinking Lily. I'm fine. I promise,” I told her. “I'm just shaken. That's all,”
“Alright,” she nodded and walked back down the hall.
“I'll be right back,” Tom smiled mischievously. “I have to grab anda something,” he too slipped out of the room and left me with my thoughts. I sighed. That wasn't a good thing right now. My thoughts were dangerous, they were going to hurt me. I was afraid of that kind of pain. I'd had enough emotional pain already to last at least one life time. The fact that I was facing the worst tragedy yet was worse. The fact that my son, who wasn't even a hari old yet, could be dying scared me lebih than anything I'd faced in the past four years of my life, the time that I had spent with Charles seemed like nothing compared to this fear. I started shaking and sobbing again. I didn't want this to happen. I didn't want a life full of tragedy and only that, which to me, it seemed, was where it was headed for sure.
I heard footsteps down the hall. I had dozed off in the ten menit I had been alone. Tom poked his head back into the room and smiled. “Sorry I took so long,” he berkata apologetically.
“It's fine Tom, anda were probably busy,” I smiled back.
“I was,” he nodded and walked over. Both of his hands were full, one with a glass of water which he placed selanjutnya to me, the other had a small wrapped box in it. He handed that to me. “This is for anda Es,” he smiled again. “Open it, go on,” he told me, his face looked like that of a small child who had just accomplished something he was very proud of. I laughed and lifted the lid off of the box. I looked at him. “This is for me?” I asked. He nodded.
“I thought you'd like it,” he smiled. “It reminded me of anda as soon as I saw it,”
“I cinta it Tom,” I told him as I took the small locket out of the box he had handed me. “It's beautiful,”
“I'm glad anda like it Esie,” he grinned and hugged me again, then he handed me my water. “You should drink something..... you'll make yourself sick if anda don't, and that wouldn't be good,”
I took the water and drank half of it. “I guess you're right.” I nodded and watched as Andrew started to stir. I held him close again and smiled. He was so beautiful once anda got past the pale, ashen features. Just then Lily walked back into the room.
“The doctor is here, do anda want to stay up here atau go downstairs?” she asked me.
I pondered for a moment “I'd rather stay here, I'm lebih comfortable.” I told her.
“Alright. I'll be right back then,” she nodded and headed back downstairs.
“Abby's making breakfast, should I go help her atau do anda want me to stay here?” Tom asked me standing up.
“You can go help Abby..... Lily will be here with me.” I told him, even if I did want him to stay. I didn't want to feel dependent on him. lebih than I already did at least. He nodded, hugged me again and walked downstairs to go help Abby.
Once again, I was alone with my thoughts. This time it was my fault though. I had told him to leave, even if I knew what it did to me. Luckily it wasn't lebih than a few detik that I was alone. Before I knew it Lily was standing in the doorway with a young looking doctor behind her. As soon as she moved, I recognized him immediately. It was Dr. Cullen. He looked the same as I remembered him, I doubted that he would remember me. It had been ten years and I was positive I looked different. I looked down at Andrew sadly remembering why the doctor was here.
Lily walked over to me. “Es? The doctor is here,” she told me quietly. I nodded.
“I know Lily, I saw,” I replied. It sounded rude..... I regretted saying it like that as soon as I had.
“Alright,” she berkata and moved out of the way so that the doctor could make it over. He crouched down selanjutnya to the tempat tidur and smiled. “Hello,” he berkata politely.
I smiled back slightly, at least it felt like a smile. I wasn't sure. “Hello, Dr. Cullen, atau do anda still want me to call anda Carlisle?” I laughed slightly at the memory.
“I knew I recognized anda from somewhere,” he chuckled. “It's nice to see anda again Esme,”
I nodded. “It's nice to see anda again as well,”
“I'm assuming this is your son?” he asked looking at Andrew.
I nodded. “Yes, this is Andrew,”
“Alright. Well, may I see him?”
“Of course,” I replied and handed Andrew to Carlisle. He immediately started to examine him. Lily sat selanjutnya to me and held my hand comfortingly. At this moment I was exceedingly grateful to have Lily as a friend. She looked at me with a small smile on her face, a smile of obvious comfort. We sat in silence for a few moments as Carlisle examined Andrew. The poor little boy was screaming the entire time. I felt horrible for him. It was the first time since his birth he had been away from me. Ten menit later Dr. Cullen looked at me, there was sadness in his eyes. I knew the news wasn't going to be good. I felt my stomach twisting into a tight knot and suddenly I was glad that I hadn't asked Tom for food earlier, despite the gnawing hunger I felt, I felt lebih sick than anything now.
“Unless I'm mistaken, and I hope that I am, your son has a serious lung infection and I don't think he will make it past tomorrow at the latest. I'm very sorry,” he told me handing Andrew back to me. “Let me know if there's anything I can do,” he berkata and exited the room. That was when I lost it. I started sobbing. I knew that he wasn't going to make it past today, he had stopped crying as soon as he had been handed back to me. I felt horrible. I didn't know how I was going to handle this. So much for no lebih tragedy.
Little did I know the tragedy had just begun.
The selanjutnya morning I woke up early when I heard the door creaking open. I looked up and saw Lily standing in the doorway. “Hello Esme,” she smiled. “How are you?” she asked walking over.
“I'm alright Lily, I'm just tired.....” I sighed. “It's to be expected though,”
“Yes.... how is little Andrew?” she asked sitting down on the end of the bed. “I heard him coughing last night, so I've been wondering,” her komentar caused me to look down at the sleeping child selanjutnya to me. He was pale, other than fiery red cheeks. I gasped in shock. “I think he's ill,” I frowned.
Lily looked at me worriedly. “Do anda want me to call the doctor?” she asked. I nodded, feeling like I couldn't do anything else. She hurried out of the room and I picked up Andrew, I held him close and started to cry.
“Esie?” I heard another voice. I looked up, it was Tom. “Is he alright?” he asked worriedly.
“I don't know. I don't think he is.” I shook my head and wiped the tears off my face. “It scares me Tom... so badly I don't even want to think about it,” I told him.
“Oh Es.... I'm sorry. I can't even begin to understand.” he hugged me gently. “I know it must be hard for you. This is something you've dreamed of since we were nine years old,” he smiled slightly. “Is there anything I can do for you?” he asked.
“Well, nothing I can think of,” I berkata after a moment of thinking. “Maybe something to drink?” I looked at him slightly pleadingly. I felt helpless.
“Of course,” he smiled and bowed awkwardly. “At your service,”
I laughed. “Tom anda always can make me smile, that's the first thing I noticed about you,”
“I remember that too. The first hari we met, when we were six. I was walking, no running down the bukit, hill near your house as soon as I heard that the new family had a child my age. I'd never had a friend my age before.” he nodded.
“Yes, and I was standing outside with my family as soon as anda tripped down the hill, my father was even laughing. My mother was shocked and afraid...... she was right selanjutnya to anda as soon as anda stopped rolling. anda stood up and told her anda were fine.” I started where he left off.
“And I walked over to anda and bowed just like that and handed anda a flower, and in my high pitched little boy voice I introduced myself, anda giggled and took the flower. That's when Lily came down the bukit, hill after me, she was five at the time.”
“She scolded anda for flirting, because it wasn't right for a young boy to do. anda had to be at least thirteen to start flirting with a girl. She made me laugh to because she was so grown up..... she seemed at least ten years old to me. Despite her height. Lily has always been small,” I smiled. My mind was off the sadness for the moment.
“Yes.... she has.” Tom laughed. “It's so strange to think of how long we've known each other Esie,” he shook his head in disbelief.
“I know. anda and Lily have always been my best friends, and Abby is as well now,” I sighed. “I feel so lucky to have such wonderful friends, I don't think I deserve people who support me like anda three do,”
“Nonsense, we don't deserve you!” he smiled and hugged me again. Just then Lily walked into the room.
“The doctor is on his way.... it isn't the normal doctor anda see though. There's a new one in town,” she told me.
“Really? That's strange,” I replied. “But, I guess it might be alright for a change,” I was shocked oleh what I had just said. I had always been one to resist change, but, I must have been getting used to the fact that things were definitely changing for me. Everything in my life seemed to have been turned upside down lately, but I felt like this wasn't the end, that lebih change was coming. I shook my head and looked up at Tom and Lily, they were looking at me worriedly.
“Esme are anda alright?” Lily asked. “You look worried about something....”
“No... I'm alright. I was just thinking Lily. I'm fine. I promise,” I told her. “I'm just shaken. That's all,”
“Alright,” she nodded and walked back down the hall.
“I'll be right back,” Tom smiled mischievously. “I have to grab anda something,” he too slipped out of the room and left me with my thoughts. I sighed. That wasn't a good thing right now. My thoughts were dangerous, they were going to hurt me. I was afraid of that kind of pain. I'd had enough emotional pain already to last at least one life time. The fact that I was facing the worst tragedy yet was worse. The fact that my son, who wasn't even a hari old yet, could be dying scared me lebih than anything I'd faced in the past four years of my life, the time that I had spent with Charles seemed like nothing compared to this fear. I started shaking and sobbing again. I didn't want this to happen. I didn't want a life full of tragedy and only that, which to me, it seemed, was where it was headed for sure.
I heard footsteps down the hall. I had dozed off in the ten menit I had been alone. Tom poked his head back into the room and smiled. “Sorry I took so long,” he berkata apologetically.
“It's fine Tom, anda were probably busy,” I smiled back.
“I was,” he nodded and walked over. Both of his hands were full, one with a glass of water which he placed selanjutnya to me, the other had a small wrapped box in it. He handed that to me. “This is for anda Es,” he smiled again. “Open it, go on,” he told me, his face looked like that of a small child who had just accomplished something he was very proud of. I laughed and lifted the lid off of the box. I looked at him. “This is for me?” I asked. He nodded.
“I thought you'd like it,” he smiled. “It reminded me of anda as soon as I saw it,”
“I cinta it Tom,” I told him as I took the small locket out of the box he had handed me. “It's beautiful,”
“I'm glad anda like it Esie,” he grinned and hugged me again, then he handed me my water. “You should drink something..... you'll make yourself sick if anda don't, and that wouldn't be good,”
I took the water and drank half of it. “I guess you're right.” I nodded and watched as Andrew started to stir. I held him close again and smiled. He was so beautiful once anda got past the pale, ashen features. Just then Lily walked back into the room.
“The doctor is here, do anda want to stay up here atau go downstairs?” she asked me.
I pondered for a moment “I'd rather stay here, I'm lebih comfortable.” I told her.
“Alright. I'll be right back then,” she nodded and headed back downstairs.
“Abby's making breakfast, should I go help her atau do anda want me to stay here?” Tom asked me standing up.
“You can go help Abby..... Lily will be here with me.” I told him, even if I did want him to stay. I didn't want to feel dependent on him. lebih than I already did at least. He nodded, hugged me again and walked downstairs to go help Abby.
Once again, I was alone with my thoughts. This time it was my fault though. I had told him to leave, even if I knew what it did to me. Luckily it wasn't lebih than a few detik that I was alone. Before I knew it Lily was standing in the doorway with a young looking doctor behind her. As soon as she moved, I recognized him immediately. It was Dr. Cullen. He looked the same as I remembered him, I doubted that he would remember me. It had been ten years and I was positive I looked different. I looked down at Andrew sadly remembering why the doctor was here.
Lily walked over to me. “Es? The doctor is here,” she told me quietly. I nodded.
“I know Lily, I saw,” I replied. It sounded rude..... I regretted saying it like that as soon as I had.
“Alright,” she berkata and moved out of the way so that the doctor could make it over. He crouched down selanjutnya to the tempat tidur and smiled. “Hello,” he berkata politely.
I smiled back slightly, at least it felt like a smile. I wasn't sure. “Hello, Dr. Cullen, atau do anda still want me to call anda Carlisle?” I laughed slightly at the memory.
“I knew I recognized anda from somewhere,” he chuckled. “It's nice to see anda again Esme,”
I nodded. “It's nice to see anda again as well,”
“I'm assuming this is your son?” he asked looking at Andrew.
I nodded. “Yes, this is Andrew,”
“Alright. Well, may I see him?”
“Of course,” I replied and handed Andrew to Carlisle. He immediately started to examine him. Lily sat selanjutnya to me and held my hand comfortingly. At this moment I was exceedingly grateful to have Lily as a friend. She looked at me with a small smile on her face, a smile of obvious comfort. We sat in silence for a few moments as Carlisle examined Andrew. The poor little boy was screaming the entire time. I felt horrible for him. It was the first time since his birth he had been away from me. Ten menit later Dr. Cullen looked at me, there was sadness in his eyes. I knew the news wasn't going to be good. I felt my stomach twisting into a tight knot and suddenly I was glad that I hadn't asked Tom for food earlier, despite the gnawing hunger I felt, I felt lebih sick than anything now.
“Unless I'm mistaken, and I hope that I am, your son has a serious lung infection and I don't think he will make it past tomorrow at the latest. I'm very sorry,” he told me handing Andrew back to me. “Let me know if there's anything I can do,” he berkata and exited the room. That was when I lost it. I started sobbing. I knew that he wasn't going to make it past today, he had stopped crying as soon as he had been handed back to me. I felt horrible. I didn't know how I was going to handle this. So much for no lebih tragedy.
Little did I know the tragedy had just begun.
