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posted by e2mma2weasle3
100 ways to annoy the Cullen’s.

1.) Take Jasper to an African American Support center and tell everyone there his full name.

2.) Talk in a really bad Texas ancient when around Jasper.

3.) Tell Carlisle that Esme has been having an affair with Aro Volturi

4.) Dangle Alice's favorit pair of shoes over your head when anda are standing on the opposite side of the boundary line.

5.) Fill Edward's iPod with rap songs

6.) Fill Emmett’s with classical

7.) Tell Alice that Jasper looks at porn

8.) Pay ten guys to look at Rosalie and go "Ewe"

9.) Spray paint Edward's car pink

10.) Tell him it was Alice's idea

11.) Then when he gets mad tell him that Bella likes it, just to calm him down

12.) Then suggest anger management classes

13.) Tell Jasper he should be a therapist

14.) Tell anyone of the Cullen’s that they should go to a tanning salon

15.) Tell Rosalie that Alice is pregnant

16.) Tell her that it was Emmett who did it

17.) Tell Jasper the same thing

18.) Video tape the fight

19.) Then play it back for Carlisle

20.) Fill Edward's closet with team Jacob shirts

21.) Ask Edward "Gee, I haven't seen Mike Newton lately; bella would probably know where he is right?"

22.) Break all the mirrors in Rosalie’s room.

23.) Tell her that her face did it

24.) Suggest that she get a makeover to prevent it from happening again

25.) Sign Jasper up to run the school's blood drive

26.) Call Jasper the walking talking "chill pill"

27.) Say to Emmett "wow, anda really let yourself go, have anda considered working out?"

28.) When ever Edwards too busy to help anda with something say "Oh that's ok, I'm sure Jacob atau mike could help."

29.) Say to Edward "hey Edward my car's broken, I was wondering if you've seen Rosalie around so she could fix it."

30.) Then when he offers to do it start laughing hysterically.

31.) Then say "Oh that's ok I'll just ask Jacob."

32.) Tell Rosalie that Leah is prettier than her

33.) Subscribe Esme for parenting magazines.

34.) Then tell her that they were actually meant for Edward

35.) Tell him that you'd feel much better for Renessmee if he also took some classes

36.) When he refuses tell him "Well fine! If anda don't care about your daughter's safety!"

37.) Die Renessmee's hair blonde

38.) Then have her start crying and screaming "Now daddy won't like me!" right in front of Edward

39.) Sell Edward's piano

40.) Then tell him it's time he buckled down and started saving up for Renessmee's college fund

41.) Deflate all of Edward's car tires at school

42.) Then hide the pisau anda used to do it in Jasper's locker

43.) Tell everyone in history class the Jasper isn't a descendent of Jasper Whitlock but that he is Jasper Whitlock

44.) Tell them that he's here to kill everyone in the school

45.) And if they don't believe anda tampil them the pisau in his locker

46.) atau if anda don't want to be that harsh; In the middle of History class when learning about the Confederate army, point to the picture of Jasper in the book and shout "Hey Jasper! That looks just like you!"

47.) Tell every girl at school that Edward broke up with Bella

48.) Then give out Bella's phone number to them

49.) Then laugh when she starts to scream at him about all the girls calling her asking for Edward

50.) Do the same thing for Emmett and Rosalie

51.) Then Jasper and Alice

52.) Then when all the guys accuse anda of it, innocently claim "I was only trying to give anda guys lebih variety"

53.) Then let them know you’re available

54.) When they get even lebih upset sate; "Well anda don't want to be stuck with the same girl for the rest of your lif-, Oh, yea, sorry..."

55.) Visit the hospital and try to get Carlisle to go insane; oleh using a fan to blow the scent of the blood in his face.

56.) atau better yet, splash some of the patient’s blood in his face.

57.) Then when he asks what you’re doing tell him that he looked thirsty

58.) Tell Edward that he's a tampil off

59.) Ask Edward if he can fly

60.) Tell any one of the Cullen’s that you’re being a vampire for Halloween

61.) Then ask them where they bought their costumes

62.) Replace all the blood in their house with red cool-aid

63.) Take pictures of their reactions when they drink it.

64.) Trade Edward's car for a mini-van

65.) Then make komentar like "Can I get a ride to school sepakbola mom?"

66.) Put one of Bella's bra's in Emmett's mantel pocket

67.) Then think "Hey what's that doing in there?" When in front of Edward

68.) Say things to Edward like "Hey Bella looks cold, want me to call Jacob?"

69.) Clean all of the stuff out of every Cullen's room and throw it over the boundary line

70.) Tell everyone at school that the Cullen guys are actually girls

71.) Then prove it oleh tampilkan them how they don't even flinch when anda kick them in the balls

72.) Then do the same things for Carlisle at the hospital

73.) Order tombstones for every single Cullen

74.) When they ask why tell them anda provoked the Volturi and blamed it on them

75.) Then actually do it

76.) Ask Jasper if he could be your square dancing partner

77.) Constantly remind the Cullen’s that if they die they're going to hell

78.) Then remind them about 74

79.) Send Edward cinta letters from Jane

80.) Smash Edward's CD collection

81.) Then when he asks why tell him there was a spider

82.) Say things to Jasper like "Wow, for someone who can control emotions, anda really don't have any."

83.) Say stuff to Rosalie like "Ewe! What's that on your face?"

84.) Buy Alice a crystal ball

85.) Put black hair dye in Rosalie’s shampoo

86.) Then tell Bella that Edward likes it

87.) Constantly remind Alice that she might not actually be in cinta with Jasper

88.) Spill blood on their floor

89.) Then laugh when Jasper starts to lick it up

90.) Sing in your head “I know a song that gets on Edward’s every nerve!” When around Edward

91.) Steal each and everyone ones of their credit/debit cards and max them out

92.) Say to Jasper that anda told Carlisle about your depression problems and that he told anda to talk to Jasper about it

93.) Change your mind about something 50,000 times so Alice gets confused

94.) Buy Edward a puppy

95.) Suggest that he name it Jacob

96.) Tell Edward that his body glitter is fading

97.) Laugh anytime Edward says something corny (I don’t think anything he says is corny.)

98.) Constantly tell Edward that he’s is going to end up killing Bella

99.) Then laugh when he says that he won’t

And if anda really want to piss them off…

100.) Have them pick a hari where they all lingkaran up and talk about their “problems.”
*by Stephenie Meyer*



TWILIGHT - chapter 10 - INTERROGATIONS


It was very hard, in the morning, to argue with the part of me that was sure last night was a dream. Logic wasn't on my side, atau common sense. I clung to the parts I couldn't have imagined - like his smell. I was sure I could never have dreamed that up on my own.
It was foggy and dark outside my window, absolutely perfect. He had no reason not to be in school today. I dressed in my heavy clothes, remembering I didn't have a jacket. Further proof that my memory was real.
When I got downstairs. Charlie was gone again - I was running later...
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this must be my quew charlie thought comming up and tapped me on the back i nodded onse and went to stand and watch with everyone els.
airnt anda going ro ask your own mother to dance? esme thought i quickly held my hand out as an invertation. she took it and we started toward the dance floor we walsted around my mind a amillion miles away "whats the matter?" esme asked looking conserned
"mike newton" i muttered it was one thing him flirting with her but a nother dreaming about her that way.
esme chuckled "edward dear bella chose anda and do anda think he is going to take her away from you?"
"no...
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so, i suppose the judul is self explanitory...
anyway, this story is currently diposting on the Eternal Night spot, so if anda would like to keep reading, thats where it is :)
enjoy.



Fire and Ice
~~
Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I’ve tasted of desire
I hold with those who favour fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.
Robert Frost.

I glanced up at the clock, even though I knew exactly how long had passed. I should know; I’d been counting the seconds.
I was sitting in my car around...
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 Zafrina
Zafrina
Renessemee was now turning six.We all at her party.She was running around hugging everyone she could.Rosalie excited for baby Renessemee.Everyone still called her a baby.She's just as adoreable as one.Kinda hard not to.Esme inside getting the presents together.Bella standing with me.Watching our baby girl.Renessemee was only six but looked ten.But not like most ten tahun olds.She was lebih intellegent,More slender,she read poetry at night instead of bedtime stories.She also in joyed the book wheithering hieghts.Just like Bella when she was human.Esme came out with two boxes in her hands.Carsisle...
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posted by myau
A.k.a. 10 ways to get yourself killed.

10: Sign him up for anger management.
…no one can deny he doesn’t need it

9: “Accidentally” sign him up for an Edward fan club. Force him to go to every single meeting.

8: Force him to play a game with anda that anda invented. Change the rules every 5 detik so he loses.

7: tampil him those cinta letters “Victoria” sent Edward.

6: Tell him Victoria likes men who wear tutus. Buy him one; get all offended when he doesn’t wear it. Start crying and don’t stop until he puts it on. Video tape him in it and send it to the Cullens’, the Volturi, the Quileutes,...
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posted by WritenOnTheSand
Fear is such an overrated word. Insecurity now thats a good one. At this moment I feel that one emotion that everyone hates when anda want to hide under a rock.

I lean back agains the dinding hitting my head against it. A loud thud echoes through the house. I can see that my grandparents have heard. There slow foot steps thud against the hard wood floor.

"Laylia? Is that you?" Grandpas voice sound from the corner around the stair case. I quickly gather my self up and swiftly run to my room.

The hours went oleh slowly as I layed in tempat tidur that night. The morning has finaly come and i now have to prepare...
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posted by rose_emmett
Okay I couldnt wait any longer to write this! Its gonna be fun!




Renesmee's POV:

I grabbed my surf board from the shack and we headed back down to the beach.

"Okay so anda have no clue how to surf?" I asked.

"Yup, no clue." he berkata with a smile.

"Okay. Um...do anda at least no how to stand on a surf board?" i asked.

"Do anda really think that if I have no clue how to surf I know how to stand on the board?" he berkata sarcastically.

"Okay dumb question." I berkata as I started walking to the water.

"Im going to first teach anda how to stand on it." I berkata as I layed the board down on the sand where the waves rolled...
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posted by jaime-kataeff
I really just wanted to put this out there, How many of anda would like to read about the honeymoon from Edwards perspective? I have alot of stories running around in my head but I think they would not be for anyone under the age of 16, due to the sensitive content. Also I was wondering if anda would like to see it from Bella's point of view. I don't want to offend anyone so please give me some feedback. I chose 16 as that is the legal age in most countries, let me know. Sorry if I have offended anyone with these pertanyaan there was no offence intended. I was just curious.
posted by Bella_Swan3
-Renesmee-

"Yes, Jacob, I'm fine," I say into the small black cellphone, putting extra stress on the word fine.

I've forced him out of the house for the day. It was almost as difficult as trying to pull my parents apart from one another. And that's saying something. Certainly lebih difficult than trying to seperate Rosalie from her cosmetics box. Which she clearly doesn't need.

Anyway, I was trying to politely tell Jacob that if he didn't hang up already, I was coming over there and obliterating his phone.

Emmett had taken to calling MY baby "jelly bean", just because of what she'd looked like...
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posted by thecullensftw_x
Nothing phases Emmett Cullen. I'm big, strong and fierce. I take what life throws at me and make the best of it. I'm a vampire, and I'm loving it. Right?
Well, at least I was until last night. I had everything. A great family, a wonderful house, a stunningly beautiful soulmate, absolutely everything. There were mountain lions, and sometimes even irritable grizzlies. We had arm wrestles outside and broke the rocks, and could run through the forest for days straight. Everything was perfect. However, that was when I had my amazing wife on my arm. Now, she's gone and I'm completely lost.
Nothing...
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posted by Bella_Swan3
-Renesmee-

When I woke up, sunlight streamed down through the window and Jacob was snoring in the corner.

I got up, and headed for the bathroom.

By the time I was done showering, Jacob was still asleep. I realised just how tired he really must have been. I dressed quietly and headed downstairs to start making breakfast. I grimaced as I pictured what I used to think of as breakfast.

I really should have seen this one coming; it was so Emmett.

I opened the fridge and screamed before I sprinted to the bathroom just in time to throw up.

When I was done with the unpleasant business, Jacob was standing...
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posted by genyva
ok well i have this typed out on the meja of contents as chapter 7 but it 6 so yeh enjoy



6. No-Where To Run
Renesmee’s point of view
I cant deal any lebih she’s driving me crazy they are all driving me crazy .I hope this will all end soon I don't want to be her any lebih I need something new to do. No lebih lying around moping.
Well I'm not really moping I'm just so bored and lifeless. Maybe I can go out of town. Well, so they don't get upset, I’ll take Claire. Just stay out for a couple of nights in the city. I cinta Seattle. Its so much fun maybe I can go on a little shopping spree get...
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posted by Bella_Swan3
-Emmett-

If there was one thing I could wish entirely off the face of the earth, it would be ribbons.

I tell you, I dunno how Alice fit so many of the goddamn things into one single freaking wedding. Another mystery of life: Alice.

Hearing this, Edward began laughing so hard I was sure he'd bust a rib atau something, if it were possible.

Rosalie was never exactly Jake's biggest fan, but since the happy couple got engaged, she mainly just pointedly ignores him. I dunno why, but somehow, I get the impression that all girls are like sisters who get all weird whenever one of their number gets married....
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posted by _madz_
here is the long awaited chapter 17!!!
im so sorry it took so long, i have had sooo much work, but i didn't want to rush it. i really hope anda enjoy it, please comment!


“Maybe,” she berkata after a detik of thought. “If anda tell me.”
I tried to decide the best way to describe what I was doing. I didn’t really want to give her too many details.
“I was...” I weighed the word before I spoke it. “Hunting.” The word seemed appropriate.
I hoped she would leave it at that, but at the same time I knew she wouldn’t.
“Is that the best anda can do?” she demanded critically. “That definitely...
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Chapter 25: All the Kings kuda and All the Kings Men
I was panicking I knew that something was not right. Jake and I continued dancing for a couple of songs after Sienna left for the bathroom. She is not the type of girl to take forever in the bathroom applying make up, so I was suspicious. Jake, Seth and I went into the hallway. “Sienna?” I called as I stepped into the empty bathroom. I went back into the hallway, “She isn’t in there, “I told Jake anxiously. “Alright, calm down maybe she just stepped outside to get some air it’s stuffy in here.” All of a sudden Seth, who was...
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Like i mentioned before, this story will continue in Bella's past, who she was when she was younger. And again sorry for mistakes

Bella's pov

“I thought anda would be in the mandi, shower oleh now” he berkata while I closed the jewellery box.
“I’m heading there now, don’t rush me” I berkata with a laugh and he laughed too
“We both got in the mandi, shower and I asked him what he berkata to Jake”
“Not much, just that if I ever found out that Renesmee is on that bike, riding atau not” that he wishes he never met me” he berkata laughing but still had that serious tone in it.
I couldn’t resist but laugh,
“I...
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This one is a short one and so will part 8 but the i'll try to make the rest a little longer :D

Bella's pov

Edward carried me to the car while my head was laying on his chest, he put me on my kursi and he was trying to get the seatbelt around me.
“Edward, stop it “ I sort of screamed at him “ I can do that myself anda now” still looking at him.
“alright, he berkata back and walked around the car and is just a few detik he was sitting selanjutnya to me in the car.
“What’s wrong” I asked him while he started the car. “ I want to help anda but … and I interrupted him “but you’re getting...
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posted by Twilight597
My name is Hayley Williams and I'm in a band called Paramore. There are four other people in our band,Josh and Zac Farro, Jeremy Davis, and last but not least Taylor York. We are waiting in Jeremy's living room waiting for a conformation to play in Italy. We were going to play privately for a very royal family, like kings atau queens. I think there names were Aro, Caius, Marcus, and all of there 'guard'. I was so anxious for the call, in fact we all were. i was practically jumping in my seat.Suddenly my phone started ringing and i screamed and reached into my pocket to get it.
Pictures of the cast and set are appearing. The anticipation is growing. And the fan are speculating.

Alot of the fan are also wondering how they are going to play out Bella's hallucinations of Edward. There are many ways they can do that.

When she is in Port Angeles, she goes near a bar. This is the first time she hears Edward's voice since his departure. They could possibly do a voice-over. And same with the bike incident. I think a voice-over would be best.
But, for the cliff diving, I think it would be really awesome and lebih emotional if he appeared in physical form.

Bella, at the...
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I stared at my reflection in the huge gilt mirror - flawless perfection - as it has been, always. I used to revel in my own - gloriousness(?), perfection. I always thought, always believed, this beauty - that I was blessed and cursed with - could give me everything I could possibly wish for. Until Fate proved me wrong, so wrong. I sighed and turned around to face him.

"Is that your new hobby, Edward? Lurk in corners?" I asked haughtily. Edward, arrogant and perfect, stood in a corner.

"I apologize for the intrusion, Rosalie - for lurking as anda put it. I wanted to play the piano. Nevermind, I'll...
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