25th December 2009 – the hari my father was murdered, it was now the 28th December 2009 and since that night I had felt this pain in my heart, I didn’t know whether it was grief atau guilt, I’d told him I’d never grieve for him and what did I have to feel guilty for?
Since everything happened Jack had been my rock, he’d supported me hari and night, comforted me when I needed comforting, supported me when I needed supporting, held me when I needed holding and loved me when I needed to be loved. He was my confidant, the man I could talk to about everything, I’m glad there was someone there, since my Dad took The queen Victoria off them that night they’d shot off, in all different directions, Roxy, Amy and Auntie Peggy to my Aunt Sal’s and Phil to Shirley’s, I hadn’t seen any of them since, and nor did I wish to, if they couldn’t even be bothered to see how I was then I didn’t want to bother with them, things had been volatile enough, the only person I needed was Jack, he was there for me, he carried me.
Jack’s Flat – 28th December; 7:30 am:
I awoke to an empty bed, I’d stayed with Jack since everything happened, he’d been my protector, he knew what I needed and most of all that was time, that’s what he was giving me, it’s strange, in a way it feels like he knows me better than I know myself, should it be like this?
As I lay in the tempat tidur coming round the bedroom door opened and in walked Jack with two cups of tea…
‘’Morning’’ he berkata to me as he placed the teh on my bedside meja and walked around to his side of the bed
‘’Morning’’ I berkata as he climbed back into tempat tidur and pulled me back into his embrace
‘’Did anda sleep okay?’’ he asked
‘’It was the best night’s sleep I’ve had since the accident’’ I said, being totally honest with him, that was another thing, I could be totally honest with him and I knew he wouldn’t judge
‘’Good, you’d been tossing and turning, I was worried’’ Jack said
‘’I’m fine, I’ll be fine, as long as I have anda oleh my side to help me and guide me through’’ I said, smiling, looking up, and then, again, just like every single day, he kissed me
12:10 pm
Jack was cooking us lunch in the kitchen, I was sat in the living room, in my own little world…
‘’Ronnie?’’ I heard a voice say my name, bringing me out of my trance; Jack was standing at the side of the sofa
‘’Hmm’’ I berkata standing up
‘’Dinner’s ready’’ he said, smiling
‘’Smells good’’ I said
‘’Jack’’ I said, taking his hand in mine ‘’we need to talk, after lunch, about things’’ I continued
‘’Okay’’ Jack said, looking at me suspiciously, he didn’t continue to pressure me, he just kept my hand in his and took me through to the kitchen
Fifteen menit later:
‘’That was gorgeous’’ I said, wiping my mouth on a napkin
‘’You are’’ Jack said
‘’Pardon?’’ I asked
‘’You are, gorgeous’’ Jack said
I smiled, a genuine smile for the first time in days, I smiled, and all thanks to Jack…
‘’I told anda I wanted to talk, is now a good time?’’ I asked
‘’Yea, let’s go and sit down’’ Jack said
We made our way into the living room…
‘’So, what’s this all about then? If I’m honest, you’ve got me worried’’ Jack said
‘’There’s no need to be worried at all, I want to talk about things’’ I said
‘’What things?’’ Jack asked
‘’Us, for starters’’ I said
‘’What about us?’’ Jack asked
‘’First off, I want to say thank anda for being here for me when I needed someone, you’ve been my rock, my confidant and you’ve just been there, you’ve took me to tempat tidur every night, and held me and cradled me in your arms until I’ve fallen asleep’’ I said, I could feel the tears starting to come
Jack could see them coming…
‘’Ronnie, I would do anything for you, anything, whatever it takes to make anda happy’’ he berkata as he took my face in his hands and the back of his thumbs caressed my cheeks
‘’You make me happy’’ I berkata honestly
‘’You make me happy’’ he told me back
‘’Jack’’ I said, removing his hands ‘’it’s time for me to leave, go somewhere else, I can’t rely on anda forever, your not always going to be there, and I need to pindah on’’
Jack looked like he was going to cry now…
‘’Ron, anda can’t leave, not like that, I want anda to stay, I won’t let anda leave’’
‘’You have no choice, I’m going’’ I said, standing up
Jack stood up also ‘’Ronnie, me and you, it’s what I want, I don’t think I could beruang it if anda left, in fact I know I couldn’t, I need anda in my life, just like anda need me’’
‘’What? anda need some nervous, emotional wreck in your life?’’ I asked
‘’Your not a wreck, and if anda are, it’s understandable why, you’ve had a major shock, but you’ll get through this, we’ll get through this’’ Jack answered
‘’Jack, your not getting this, anda can’t always be my saviour, I need to branch out on my own now, do something for myself’’ I said
‘’And I keep saying I’m not going to let you, look, I’m going to put my jantung on the line now, I cinta anda Ronnie, lebih than I have ever loved anyone, lebih than Selina, lebih than Tanya, in fact, I don’t think I loved Tanya, anda know me better than anyone else, anda bring me through my darkest days and I am going to do the same for you’’ Jack berkata
‘’Excuse me? Can anda say that again?’’ I asked
‘’What? The whole thing?’’ Jack asked
‘’No, where anda berkata anda never really loved Tanya, are anda being serious?’’ I asked
‘’Of course I am, since I arrived on the Square there’s only being one girl for me, and that’s you, your confident, determined and anda get what anda want, and that’s what I cinta about you’’ Jack said
‘’Tell me anda cinta me again’’ I asked
He walked over to me, took me into his embrace…
‘’I cinta you’’
‘’I cinta anda to’’ I admitted
We both smiled, I pulled from his embrace and led him to the bedroom….
Since everything happened Jack had been my rock, he’d supported me hari and night, comforted me when I needed comforting, supported me when I needed supporting, held me when I needed holding and loved me when I needed to be loved. He was my confidant, the man I could talk to about everything, I’m glad there was someone there, since my Dad took The queen Victoria off them that night they’d shot off, in all different directions, Roxy, Amy and Auntie Peggy to my Aunt Sal’s and Phil to Shirley’s, I hadn’t seen any of them since, and nor did I wish to, if they couldn’t even be bothered to see how I was then I didn’t want to bother with them, things had been volatile enough, the only person I needed was Jack, he was there for me, he carried me.
Jack’s Flat – 28th December; 7:30 am:
I awoke to an empty bed, I’d stayed with Jack since everything happened, he’d been my protector, he knew what I needed and most of all that was time, that’s what he was giving me, it’s strange, in a way it feels like he knows me better than I know myself, should it be like this?
As I lay in the tempat tidur coming round the bedroom door opened and in walked Jack with two cups of tea…
‘’Morning’’ he berkata to me as he placed the teh on my bedside meja and walked around to his side of the bed
‘’Morning’’ I berkata as he climbed back into tempat tidur and pulled me back into his embrace
‘’Did anda sleep okay?’’ he asked
‘’It was the best night’s sleep I’ve had since the accident’’ I said, being totally honest with him, that was another thing, I could be totally honest with him and I knew he wouldn’t judge
‘’Good, you’d been tossing and turning, I was worried’’ Jack said
‘’I’m fine, I’ll be fine, as long as I have anda oleh my side to help me and guide me through’’ I said, smiling, looking up, and then, again, just like every single day, he kissed me
12:10 pm
Jack was cooking us lunch in the kitchen, I was sat in the living room, in my own little world…
‘’Ronnie?’’ I heard a voice say my name, bringing me out of my trance; Jack was standing at the side of the sofa
‘’Hmm’’ I berkata standing up
‘’Dinner’s ready’’ he said, smiling
‘’Smells good’’ I said
‘’Jack’’ I said, taking his hand in mine ‘’we need to talk, after lunch, about things’’ I continued
‘’Okay’’ Jack said, looking at me suspiciously, he didn’t continue to pressure me, he just kept my hand in his and took me through to the kitchen
Fifteen menit later:
‘’That was gorgeous’’ I said, wiping my mouth on a napkin
‘’You are’’ Jack said
‘’Pardon?’’ I asked
‘’You are, gorgeous’’ Jack said
I smiled, a genuine smile for the first time in days, I smiled, and all thanks to Jack…
‘’I told anda I wanted to talk, is now a good time?’’ I asked
‘’Yea, let’s go and sit down’’ Jack said
We made our way into the living room…
‘’So, what’s this all about then? If I’m honest, you’ve got me worried’’ Jack said
‘’There’s no need to be worried at all, I want to talk about things’’ I said
‘’What things?’’ Jack asked
‘’Us, for starters’’ I said
‘’What about us?’’ Jack asked
‘’First off, I want to say thank anda for being here for me when I needed someone, you’ve been my rock, my confidant and you’ve just been there, you’ve took me to tempat tidur every night, and held me and cradled me in your arms until I’ve fallen asleep’’ I said, I could feel the tears starting to come
Jack could see them coming…
‘’Ronnie, I would do anything for you, anything, whatever it takes to make anda happy’’ he berkata as he took my face in his hands and the back of his thumbs caressed my cheeks
‘’You make me happy’’ I berkata honestly
‘’You make me happy’’ he told me back
‘’Jack’’ I said, removing his hands ‘’it’s time for me to leave, go somewhere else, I can’t rely on anda forever, your not always going to be there, and I need to pindah on’’
Jack looked like he was going to cry now…
‘’Ron, anda can’t leave, not like that, I want anda to stay, I won’t let anda leave’’
‘’You have no choice, I’m going’’ I said, standing up
Jack stood up also ‘’Ronnie, me and you, it’s what I want, I don’t think I could beruang it if anda left, in fact I know I couldn’t, I need anda in my life, just like anda need me’’
‘’What? anda need some nervous, emotional wreck in your life?’’ I asked
‘’Your not a wreck, and if anda are, it’s understandable why, you’ve had a major shock, but you’ll get through this, we’ll get through this’’ Jack answered
‘’Jack, your not getting this, anda can’t always be my saviour, I need to branch out on my own now, do something for myself’’ I said
‘’And I keep saying I’m not going to let you, look, I’m going to put my jantung on the line now, I cinta anda Ronnie, lebih than I have ever loved anyone, lebih than Selina, lebih than Tanya, in fact, I don’t think I loved Tanya, anda know me better than anyone else, anda bring me through my darkest days and I am going to do the same for you’’ Jack berkata
‘’Excuse me? Can anda say that again?’’ I asked
‘’What? The whole thing?’’ Jack asked
‘’No, where anda berkata anda never really loved Tanya, are anda being serious?’’ I asked
‘’Of course I am, since I arrived on the Square there’s only being one girl for me, and that’s you, your confident, determined and anda get what anda want, and that’s what I cinta about you’’ Jack said
‘’Tell me anda cinta me again’’ I asked
He walked over to me, took me into his embrace…
‘’I cinta you’’
‘’I cinta anda to’’ I admitted
We both smiled, I pulled from his embrace and led him to the bedroom….