These black tears are the unshed blood from the wounds anda left me
Not scars that healed, but fresh wounds that still bleed
anda left my very soul in tatters, never mind my heart
But that someone who had taken anda from me, had to take that too, and rip it apart
I don’t know who made anda leave, atau why, but I do know this,
That if anda could, anda would relive all the happy memories with me that I now have to miss
Now just as anda are, the happy times are a ghost, a whisper in the wind
It feels like no matter how things turn out for me, this sadness that came over me will never end
It’s also selfish, wanting anda to be here with me
You’re healed of sickness and pain, happy now with your other family
anda were and malaikat when anda were here
Now you’re just a different kind
One that will be our guardian until we can find anda again
When we find our way to the light
Not scars that healed, but fresh wounds that still bleed
anda left my very soul in tatters, never mind my heart
But that someone who had taken anda from me, had to take that too, and rip it apart
I don’t know who made anda leave, atau why, but I do know this,
That if anda could, anda would relive all the happy memories with me that I now have to miss
Now just as anda are, the happy times are a ghost, a whisper in the wind
It feels like no matter how things turn out for me, this sadness that came over me will never end
It’s also selfish, wanting anda to be here with me
You’re healed of sickness and pain, happy now with your other family
anda were and malaikat when anda were here
Now you’re just a different kind
One that will be our guardian until we can find anda again
When we find our way to the light
When I talk to my friends I pretend I am standing on the wings
of a flying plane. I cannot be trusted to tell them how I am.
atau if I am falling to earth weighing less
than a dozen roses. Sometimes I dream they have broken up
with their pasangan and are carrying food to my house.
When I open the mailbox I hear their voices
like the long upward-winding curve of a train whistle
passing through the tall grasses and ferns
after the train has passed. I never get ahead of their shadows.
I embrace them in front of moving cars. I keep them away
from my miseries because to say I am miserable is to say I am like them.
—Jason Shinder
of a flying plane. I cannot be trusted to tell them how I am.
atau if I am falling to earth weighing less
than a dozen roses. Sometimes I dream they have broken up
with their pasangan and are carrying food to my house.
When I open the mailbox I hear their voices
like the long upward-winding curve of a train whistle
passing through the tall grasses and ferns
after the train has passed. I never get ahead of their shadows.
I embrace them in front of moving cars. I keep them away
from my miseries because to say I am miserable is to say I am like them.
—Jason Shinder
I am mysterious yet sweet
I wonder what the future brings
I hear serigala bernyanyi to the moon
I see diamonds swimming in a black sea above me as I lay in the grass.
I want people to understand me completely
I am acak yet shy
I pretend I am always going on new adventures
I feel misunderstood
I touch shards of my past, remembering them
I worry that I won't find someone who can view things the way I do
I am courageous yet cunning
I cry because the blames fall on me
I understand people's problems
I say witty things that persuade people
I dream of an absolution & life of adventure
I try to fit in but it's just so boring
I hope to travel around the world making lebih friends along the way.
I am all that I am, I am all of me
I wonder what the future brings
I hear serigala bernyanyi to the moon
I see diamonds swimming in a black sea above me as I lay in the grass.
I want people to understand me completely
I am acak yet shy
I pretend I am always going on new adventures
I feel misunderstood
I touch shards of my past, remembering them
I worry that I won't find someone who can view things the way I do
I am courageous yet cunning
I cry because the blames fall on me
I understand people's problems
I say witty things that persuade people
I dream of an absolution & life of adventure
I try to fit in but it's just so boring
I hope to travel around the world making lebih friends along the way.
I am all that I am, I am all of me
Good and evil
cinta and hate
The balances of life
Makes everything flow just right
Until misery takes control of your world...
Misery is a parasite
Feeds off other's to become stronger
It hunts for those who are happy
Only to bite and infect them
With it's disease
It penetrates deep into your mind
Death and despair flood the thoughts
The virus spreads further...to your soul
anda are sick with misery
Contagious
anda don't want to infect
Forced into isolation
A weak body and a weak mind
There is no cure for anda to find
Until the hari comes when an antidote called Love
Finds it's way inside
And kills the virus
But cures are hard to find
Like any cinta is...
to see, feel, hear, touch and taste
your eyes, your lips, your hands
anda are everywhere
a touch, soft and tender
a whisper, full of desire
a gasp of sweet surrender
as passion fuels the fire
and though we still have far to go
that's alright, we'll take it slow
and though the days are often long
with anda here I can be strong
there's no time in life to judge
only time enough for love
so as another night slips by
let’s dance beneath the sky
in our secret garden
cinta took power over our will
progressively, gently, tenderly, lover to lover
love, you’re all I ever needed
and I want anda now. now being forever.
this is my eternal vow.
A silver glint in your eyes; heartbeats clean.
A simple chord enrages me; warm smiles.
The melody plays slow; performed quite keen.
I stop midway, but memory redials.
The octave jumps to brilliance; intense.
They cinta attention and thought; quarter notes.
Continuous trills and glissandos; dense.
Already chosen hum no other votes.
To accidentals for wit; humor dark.
Yet, the lebih necessary; balance sweet.
Some kindness with speed; held out at the hark.
Released the pedal to kill the soft beat.
All are strong to my heart’s will; every song.
The echoes beneath that for which I long.
A simple chord enrages me; warm smiles.
The melody plays slow; performed quite keen.
I stop midway, but memory redials.
The octave jumps to brilliance; intense.
They cinta attention and thought; quarter notes.
Continuous trills and glissandos; dense.
Already chosen hum no other votes.
To accidentals for wit; humor dark.
Yet, the lebih necessary; balance sweet.
Some kindness with speed; held out at the hark.
Released the pedal to kill the soft beat.
All are strong to my heart’s will; every song.
The echoes beneath that for which I long.
through the thorns to the stars
The only one who doesn't know happiness
is the one who couldn't understand its call
I am Calling Calling now, Spirits rise and falling
To stay myself longer...
Calling Calling, in the depth of longing
To stay myself longer...
Stand alone... Where was life when it had a meaning...
Stand alone... Nothing's real anymore and...
...Endless run...
While I'm alive, I can try not to fall while flying,
Not to forget how to dream... how to love
...Endless run...
Calling Calling, For the place of knowing
There's lebih that what can be linked
Calling Calling, Never will I look away
For what life has left for me
Yearning Yearning, for what's left of loving
To stay myself longer...
Calling Calling now, Spirits rise and falling
To stay myself longer...
Calling Calling, in the depth of longing
To stay myself longer.......
Fearless jantung beats
in my chest,
strong and proud,
sensitive and fragile.
Collecting all these words
anda gave as if
those are significant,
but your jantung has never
spoken to me.
Empty words anda gave,
the depth that lies in them
anda treaded,
though I still remember that
glow in your eyes,
I still remember,
though your false love
is spreading its wings
only in dreams of my own
world.
It was me who left,
and yet
I'm still trying to forget,
still trying to erase every
moment of happiness
we lived.
And my jantung is not weak,
even though it's lonely,
loneliness itself doesn't fear me,
for it loves me,
loneliness chose me.
Loneliness is jealous,
won't leave me be,
loneliness is in cinta
with me,
filled within my heart,
it has chosen me.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
