I was stuck in between what fate wanted and what i wanted.The future was in my hands,i just couldnt membungkus, bungkus my head around why my destiny was so poor.
I sat on the dipan, sofa questioning myself about it.
Should I let it happen?And if I did would i ever forgive myself?I was always telling others,bad things happen for a reason,but was just another excuse?
There were no anwsers,simply because life has no anwser,just pertanyaan and sometimes anda have to take a risk and leap with no fear.
"Daddy,look what drew."Kenna berkata with a smile.
She wobbled in the living room,holding a picture.
She gave it to me,it had a house on it with 4 stick people on it.The 1st one had a rok drawn on and the 2nd one had pants on.
"Whose that?'i pointed to the 1st one.
"Thats mommy."she said.
"Whose that?'i pointed to the detik one.
"Thats Drew."
Pain struck my heart,i tried to be strong,but i got choked up.The other two were sperate.
"Those two are me and ronnie."
"Wheres Daddy and Alex?"
"Well,it doesnt matter.Ronnie says your going to leave again with Alex and mommy loves Drew."
"Look here.''i berkata to her,"I'm not leaving ever,and dont anda forget that.now come here,i cinta you."
I grabbed her and put her on my lap and hugged her,tears slowly fell from my face.
"Ronnie.'i called out.
"What?'' she walked down stairs.
"Come here beautiful."
"whats wrong daddy?"
"nothing i just cinta anda guys so much."I got up and hugged her."Im not leaving."
She smiled,it reminded me of why i live.For my kids.
"Okay anda can let go now'' she giggled.
"But I dont want to."I smiled.
"I gotta get ready,im going out to the film with Derek."
"Your still dating that punk?''i asked.
"Yes,remember anda said.."
"i know what i said,just how is jameson and Angel?''
"They came here earlier when anda were asleep.''
"Really?''
"Yes now can anda let go?Kennas getting jealous"
"Oh no she didnt!'kenna sassed.
I let go of Ronnie and picked up Kenna.
"You need to stop hanging out with your uncle Harry."
"But he gives me cookies"
"What are those?Some type of child biscuit?'
"Dad anda know anda like your child biscuits."ronnie said.
''Quit eatin my cookies!''
The door bel, bell rang.
"That must be Derek."
Ronnie went to anwser the door.
shortly she came back.
"Dad,Some man is here...?''
"Huh?''
On our porch stood with a cane, a familar elderly old man.He had gray white hair and sharp blue eyes.Looking in to his eyes i could see his soul.Such fierce eyes covered with anger but love.Immedatelity recongized him,courtneys father.
"Ronnie take Kenna and go in your room."i ordered her.
"but Dad.."
"Its yes sir,now go."
she left for her room.I stepped on the porch.
"Why are anda here?"i asked.
"Why wouldnt I?''
"Your at my house,i ask the questions."
:"Is that your children?Shes very beautiful."
I pulled out a gun,and pressed it under his chin.
"You will not lay a finger on my children,I sware to god if anda dont tell me why anda are here?''
"What are anda doing??"Derek walk on the porch.
"Please dont shoot!I mean no harm,ive changed"
I had to think about it...I had a gun pressed against an sick elderly mans head....it probablly made me look bad.
"James!"i shouted.
"Woah,Mr.malik..put the gun down...''
i slowly released him.
"James come back another time."
"Give me the gun."he said.
i gave him it.
The old man fell to his knees.
''I have came to make things,right,my time is short.Please understand,i was young and stupid.I was wrong,but anda are gifted.You were the man.For God's sake have mercy on me"he begged.He was bowwing down to me,begging me.I didnt know what to do,but only thing to do.
i knelt down with him and touched his shoulder.
He look at me.We were eye to eye,I could see his sorrows and regret.i got up held out a hand.
He reached for it and i helped him up.