The sun was just coming up when I was woken up oleh knocking on my front door. I got out of tempat tidur and went downstairs; before I even had gotten ready for the day. I walked up to the door and opened it to see my mother standing there. I yawned and berkata "good morning mother." She berkata "you're still in your pajamas." I rubbed my eyes and looked up at the clock on the dinding as I berkata "it's only 6: 45." She berkata "I know Michael; it's probably better if anda leave before Christian wakes up." I gave her a hug and berkata "yeah you're probably right; I'll go get dressed right now."

After I had gotten ready, I exited my bedroom and was about to walk downstairs when Christian berkata "good morning daddy." I turned around and berkata "good morning buddy" as I picked him up to bring him downstairs. I put him down on the ground in and berkata "okay; bye-bye buddy." He looked at me with a confused expression on his face and berkata "I come; daddy I come!" I knelt down in front of him and berkata "you can't come today Christian. I have to go to work and you're going to stay here with grandma; but I promise I'll be back before dinner." He looked at me and started to hyperventilate. He started sobbing and I could barely understand what he was saying. The only words I was able to hear were "no bye-bye daddy!"

I picked him back up and berkata "I have to go Christian. I wish I could stay here with you; but I can't." oleh this point, he was crying uncontrollably." I asked excitedly "do anda want grandma to make anda breakfast?" He slowly nodded his head and I quickly passed him to my mother. He was still crying and repeating "no bye-bye daddy!" I looked at my shoulder and berkata "eeeww; anda got boogers on my shirt!" In between crying, he started to laugh and I joked "oh anda think that's funny; do you?" He started cracking up and I wiped his nose with my sleeve.

I thought I was okay to leave; but I was halfway out the door when he started crying and saying "I come daddy!!!" Mother berkata "don't worry about him Michael; just leave because Frank won't be happy if you're late!!!" I waved goodbye as she berkata "say bye-bye to daddy and as I shut the door I could hear Christian say "come back daddy."

I got into the back kursi of the SUV while my bodyguards drove me to the set where "Moonwalker" is being filmed. James looked into the rearview mirror and saw me starting to tear up. He asked "are anda okay Michael?" I berkata "it was so hard to leave him! He was so upset and he didn't want me to leave!" Tim berkata "I'm sure he is over it oleh now Michael." I berkata "I just don't want him to think that I'm never coming back. I think he's worried because I already had to give him back to his mother once and he doesn't want it to happen again! I don't think he understands that he's my son now! It just really hurt me to see him reaching for me and not being able to pick him up because I can't be late for work."

We pulled up to the movie set and I was taken to my trailer oleh my bodyguards. I opened up the door and was surprised to see Karen Faye; my hairstylist. I walked inside and berkata "hi Karen" as I gave her a hug. The door opened and it was my wardrobe manager Michael Bush. I greeted him and he started to pick out my outfit for my "speed demon" musik video. He was about to help me put the jaket on when he asked "what's all over your kemeja Michael?" I chuckled and berkata "trust me; anda don't want to know." He berkata "okay then!"

During my break, Karen and I decided to catch up on what's been going on since the tour ended. She asked "what have anda been up to lately?" I berkata "I don't know if Frank told you; but I'm a father now! I adopted a son!" She berkata "that's amazing Michael! How do anda like being a father?" I smiled from ear to ear as I berkata "I cinta it and he's the sweetest little boy ever!!!" She asked "how old is he?" I berkata "he'll be three within the selanjutnya few weeks." She berkata "how cute; anda should bring him with anda to work!" I berkata "he's really shy and I don't think he would like being around all these people!" She berkata "oh because I would watch him for anda in the trailer while you're working." I hesitated before saying "I don't know; maybe I will bring him here a couple days week so my mom doesn't have to watch him all week long."

When my work hari was finally over, I couldn't wait to get halaman awal to Christian because I missed him so much. When we pulled into the driveway, I dismissed my bodyguards for the rest of the night and walked up to the front door. I opened it up and walked inside. The dapur was empty; but something was on the stove.

I walked into the living room and Christian was on the floor with mother putting together a puzzle. Mother looked up after hearing my footsteps and asked "look who's here Christian; who is that?" He looked up from the puzzle and excitedly shouted "daddy" as he ran into my arms. I picked him up and gave him a hug as I berkata "I missed you!" I looked at mother and asked "how did today go?" She berkata "he stopped crying a few menit after anda left and he was fine for the rest of the day." I berkata “I told anda I would be back buddy!!!"

***

Finally, it's the weekend which means I have two days off to spend with Christian. I walked into his room to wake him up and noticed that he had fallen out of tempat tidur because he was lying on the floor. I picked him up and he opened his eyes. I asked "what am I going to do with anda silly; anda keep falling out of bed!" I could tell that he didn't want to be awake; but I had to bring him downstairs because he would've been up all night long if I let him sleep any longer.

I brought him into the dapur and opened up the fridge as I asked "what do anda want to drink?" He pointed to the apel, apple jus and I put it on the counter. I'm starting to get concerned about Christian's lack of speech at almost 3 years old. He's spoken only a few complete sentences since he's been with me and I'm worried that if I don't break him of this shyness his speech won't improve. He only seems to talk if he has to and he doesn't really speak in sentences; just one atau two words at a time.

I passed him his cup and asked "can anda say thank anda for my juice?" He berkata "thank you" and I berkata "no; anda have to say the whole thing. I know anda can talk in sentences because I've heard anda do it before." He didn't answer me and I berkata "okay; but I'm not giving up.”

We were in the living room when Christian came up to me with a plastic container that contained all of his matchbox cars. He passed it to me and berkata "please daddy." I knew exactly what he wanted; but I asked "please what?" He gestured for me to open it for him and I berkata "I don't know what that means buddy. anda have to tell daddy what anda want." He pointed to the box and berkata "open." I asked "you want me to open this for you?" He shook his head in agreement and I asked "can anda tell me that? Can anda say 'daddy will anda please open this for me?'

He didn't say anything and instead decided to pindah on to a different toy; another failed attempt on my part to get my son to talk in complete sentences. A few hours later, I was chewing on a piece of gum when Christian wanted some. He pointed to the pack of gum in my pocket and I asked "what?" He tried to take the gum out of my kemeja pocket and I berkata "you have to use your words and asked me for it Christian." I could tell that he desperately wanted that gum; but he wasn't about to talk to get it from me.

I do have to say that this kid knows that he has me wrapped around his little finger because he climbed onto the dipan, sofa and started to give me the "puppy dog eyes." I tried to look away; but I couldn't help myself from smiling. I looked back at him and he pointed to my pocket again. I sighed and berkata "fine; but anda have to give me kisses first!" He lightly pecked my lips and berkata "gum." I berkata "yes; I know anda want the gum. I'm getting it." I reluctantly pulled the gum out of my pocket and gave him a piece as I berkata "I shouldn't be giving anda this because anda didn't ask me for it; but whatever!"

Each day, I regret giving Christian back to his mother because I think it really had a negative effect on him. She's not the type of parent that would take the time to focus on important things like speech with him. He's almost 3 years old and he should be talking a lot lebih than he is. I know my work schedule is going to be very busy for a while; but I really need to get him talking lebih and using complete sentences. I think it's sad that his speech was better when he was in the orphanage according to Rosemary then it was when he was living with his mother. I know one thing's for sure; I'll never give up on him like she did!

***

The weekend is over and I was just about to leave for work when Christian asked "daddy; can I please go to work with you?" I was so surprised that he used a complete sentence that I berkata "yeah; I think my friend Karen will watch anda while I'm working." Mother asked "does this mean I can go halaman awal now?" I berkata "yeah mother and if today goes well I may bring him with me to work every day." She went towards the door and berkata "oh; anda should probably know that he's been having stomach issues." I joked "it's probably nothing; you've always been paranoid when it comes to those sorts of things." She berkata "okay; but don't say that I didn't warn you!"

I grabbed a few things before taking Christian out to the car. When we pulled up in front of my trailer on the set, I took Christian out of his car kursi and brought him inside. Karen was sitting on the dipan, sofa and she looked up at Christian. I sat down on the dipan, sofa selanjutnya to her with Christian in my arms and she berkata "you must be the little guy I've been hearing so many things about! What's your name?" He hesitated but his response made me laugh. He berkata "my name is daddy's son!" Karen and I chuckled as I berkata "that's the first time he's ever berkata that before!" Karen laughed and berkata "well; it's nice to meet anda daddy's son!"

I berkata "okay; I'm going to go to work a few feet away from here outside Christian. If anda ever need anything Karen, don't be afraid to come get me." I kissed Christian's forehead and she berkata "I'm sure everything will be fine; we'll be here when anda come back for your break." I passed her a bag of Christian's toys, movies, and other things before I walked out the door.

About an jam later, Karen came out of the trailer and tapped me on my shoulder while I was looking at some of the musik video clips we had filmed. I turned around and asked "is everything okay?" She looked at me and berkata "it's awful Michael! How do anda do that every day?" I wrinkled my eyebrows in confusion and asked "what are anda talking about?" She berkata "it smells so bad Michael!" I laughed and berkata "that's just because anda don't have kids! You're not used to changing diapers!"

As the two of us walked back to the trailer, Karen berkata "no; anda don't get it Michael! I'm telling anda it's not me; it's horrible!" I looked at her and sarcastically berkata "yeah; I bet it's SO horrible!" I opened up the door and Christian was sleeping on the couch.

Normally, changing diapers doesn't bother me because I've done it a lot since adopting Christian; but I have to say that I agree with Karen now. I looked at her as my eyes started to water and berkata "oh my God; anda weren't kidding! I don't want to wake him up because he needs to take a nap; but I might start gagging!" She started to hysterically laugh at me covering my nose with my kemeja and berkata "I told anda Michael! Is it like this all the time?" I laughed and berkata "not even close!"

detik after I was done changing him, I bolted out the door of the trailer and tried my absolute hardest to avoid throwing up. Frank laughed and joked "you okay there Mike?" I playfully responded "oh; shut up Frank!" Frank laughed and berkata "I'm starting to enjoy having this kid around. He can torture anda when I'm not around to do it. anda look as pale as a ghost Mike. I looked up from staring at the ground and berkata "if anda went through what I just went through anda would be pale too Frank!”

Right after I berkata that, I threw up all over the parking lot in front of me. Frank hysterically laughed and I berkata "you're lucky that I didn't throw up on your shoes!!! Christian berkata "daddy" from inside the trailer and I berkata "I'm coming buddy!" I walked inside the trailer with Karen behind me and playfully teased "hey; stinky boy is awake!" Christian looked at me and was completely oblivious to what had happened. Karen asked "how in the heck did he manage to sleep through all of that?" I berkata "I have no idea at all because I was about ready to pass out myself! I don't think there's going to be a lunch break for me today!"

***

While Christian was upstairs taking a nap, I decided to start planning his birthday party because it's in a couple of weeks. I have to try to keep things quiet because I'm a Jehovah's Witness and I'm not supposed to be celebrating birthdays and things of that nature. If they were to find out about this I would be kicked out of the religion for sure. Sometimes I wonder if it's worth sacrificing so many things. I don't want Christian to miss out on the things that I missed out on growing up. I'm definitely going to have to think about disassociating myself from the religion for Christian's sake.

I dialed the number of party planner and pretended my voice was deeper than it actually is because I don't want to give away my identity. I was on the phone with a woman for over an jam planning the best Mickey mouse themed birthday party ever. When she had added up the cost of everything, it came to about $2000 and I think she was surprised that the price didn't bother me. Thankfully, my bodyguard James let me use his credit card number to pay for everything and I gave him the cash back.

I quickly hung up the phone as Christian was coming downstairs and he climbed into my lap without saying a word. He still seemed out of it and I whispered "did anda sleep okay?" He nodded his head in agreement and I asked "do anda want a snack?" I walked over to the cupboard and took out a box of "goldfish" brand crackers. I poured them out onto the meja and he slowly started to wake up.

As I picked him up to bring him into the living room, there was a knock at the front door and I turned around to answer it. I opened the door and of my brothers Jermaine, Jackie, Randy, Tito, and Marlon were standing there. I was surprised to see them because I haven't seen them in over six months. I invited them inside and Jermaine berkata "you must be Christian; I'm your uncle Jermaine. As expected, Christian buried his face in my neck and each of my brothers introduced themselves to him.

We all sat down at the table; but Christian was not going to let me take him off my lap. I started to make conversation with my brothers and asked "do anda think mother would be mad at me if I disassociated myself from the Jehovah's Witness religion?" Jermaine berkata "she may be shocked at first; but I don't think she'll necessarily be mad at anda because anda have a child now. I mean most of us didn't even pursue the religion after we reached adulthood." I berkata "I just want Christian to be able to experience things like natal and halloween because that's an important part of being a child. I hope she'll understand!" Marlon asked "how was the tour Michael?" I berkata "it was okay; but I'm glad to be home! I always have a hard time sleeping when I'm on the road! It's hard for my body to adjust to the different time zones!"

Christian whispered "Mickey" in my ear and I asked "what? anda want to watch Mickey on TV?" He asked "where's Mickey?" I berkata "you're stuffed Mickey mouse is upstairs I think." Randy berkata "I can go get it for him if anda want me to Michael. What room is it in?" I berkata "it's the room directly across from mine; the Mickey mouse themed room. anda can't miss it! The stuffed animal is usually on the bed."

Randy went upstairs to retrieve the Mickey mouse stuffed animal and walked back downstairs. He tried give it to Christian; oleh Christian just looked at him with an unsure expression on his face. I berkata "it's alright; he's just giving anda Mickey! He's not going to do anything to you." Christian's hands shook as he reached for it and took it from Randy. Randy berkata "whoa; anda weren't exaggerating when he anda berkata anda berkata he was shy Michael!" I berkata "I know; I'm actually glad anda guys showed up today because I want to invite anda to his birthday party."

Surprisingly, they were excited to come to the party and were happy to receive the invitation. They left a few menit later and it dawned on me that I would not be able to invite my mother to the party because for one thing I'm not supposed be celebrating anyone's birthday. Secondly, she won't come to the party because she's very dedicated to the religion of being a Jehovah's Witness. I've had to make so many sacrifices to practice that religion and I guess I'm going to have to make the sacrifice of not inviting my mother to his birthday party just so his first birthday with me will be one that he can remember years from now!

***

I asked "are anda ready?" Christian berkata "yup" and I asked "are anda sure anda can remember?" He berkata "yup" and I asked "which one is the green crayon?" He picked up the green crayon and I berkata "you remember! Okay, tampil me the black crayon." Once again, he picked up the correct color and I berkata "I think all my hard work is starting to pay off! I think anda know all your warna now. I don't know how anda managed to keep getting green and black confused; but I think you're over that now!"

I started to recite the alphabet and he started to copy me. He berkata "A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, and Z." I was absolutely surprised and berkata "wow; I wasn't expecting that! anda got them all in the right order this time; smart boy!" He asked "daddy; school soon?" I sat there trying to figure out his broken English and I berkata "in a couple lebih years you'll go to school!"

I picked him up and brought him to the meja because the food I was making for makan malam was finally cooked. I sat down at the meja selanjutnya to him and passed him his plate. I asked "are anda excited for your birthday? Your first birthday at daddy's house!!!" Christian asked "what's a birthday?" My jantung almost broke in half when I heard him say that! This poor child has never even celebrated his birthday before! I berkata "a birthday celebrates the hari anda were born! I'm going to throw anda a party and there's going to be cake. There's going to be presents, and we're going to have fun!"

***

I quietly walked into Christian's bedroom and gently shook him awake. He slowly opened his eyes and I whispered "happy birthday buddy." He rolled back over and I laughed as I picked him up. I berkata "you can't go back to sleep Christian! Today is your birthday; you're three now!" I playfully tossed him into the air and caught him back in my arms in an attempt to wake him up.

I carried him downstairs and put him on the couch. He insisted on watching cartoons; just like he does every morning. I wanted to tampil him all the party decorations that were set up in the kitchen; so I picked him up and brought him into the kitchen. His eyes shot open like he wasn't tired at all and he was so excited. He pretty much jumped out of my arms and started running around the kitchen.

He noticed all the balloons and started playing with them. I asked "do anda like it?" All he berkata was "Mickey" at the puncak, atas of his lungs. He ran up to me and berkata "thank anda daddy!!!" I berkata "you're welcome; everyone should be here soon!"

My brothers knocked on the door and I invited them inside. Jackie berkata "our sisters wanted to be invited to the party too; but I told them how shy Christian is and they understood." I berkata "it's just going to be anda guys, my hair stylist Karen, Christian and me because I know that if too many people come he won't like it. It's just going to be a small party anyway. I wanted to do something really special like have a magician come; but he's terrified of pretty much anything! I didn't know if that would scare him atau not that's why I didn't hire one."

Soon after, Karen knocked on the door and I invited her inside. She immediately picked Christian up and berkata "hi birthday boy!" Christian was too preoccupied with all the decorations as he pointed at them and berkata "Mickey!" I berkata "okay; I want this to be good birthday party for Christian; but it can only last a couple hours because I don't want my mother to suspect anything."

With that said, we went into the living room to start opening up gifts. I sat on the floor with Christian on my lap and Jermaine passed me his gift that he bought Christian. Christian ripped it open and I berkata "wow; you've got Mickey mouse bedding to match your room now!" He berkata "thank you" and Randy passed him the selanjutnya gift. He ripped it open and it was a pair of Mickey mouse slippers.

Many gifts later, I berkata "I guess it's time for me to tell anda what I've decided to do for your birthday. Do anda want to go see Mickey Mouse?" He looked at me with a confused expression on his face and asked "on the TV?" I chuckled and berkata "no silly; daddy's going to take a week off of work. I'm going to take anda to disney World! Remember that place on the commercials of your disney movies? That's where we’re going to go!" He berkata "we go see Mickey now." I berkata "tomorrow morning when anda wake up we're going to get on an airplane and go see him!"

He gave me a hug and a ciuman as he berkata "thank anda daddy!" I took him into the dapur and sat him down at the table. He was surprised when all of us sang happy birthday to him and afterwards I expected him to blow out the candles on his cake. I looked at everyone sitting around the meja and berkata "I don't think he knows what he's supposed to do." I demonstrated how to blow out the candles; but he just looked at me like I was crazy. All of us tried to get him to blow out the candles; but he just didn't get it. I basically had to blow them out for him because if I didn't we would've been there for hours.

Later that night when I was tucking them into bed, he berkata "that was fun! Thank anda daddy!" I gave him a ciuman and berkata "you're welcome and this is just the first of many birthdays to come. It's not over yet because we're still going to go see Mickey tomorrow." I turned on the TV, passed him the remote, and shut off the light as I berkata "night – night birthday boy!" He responded "good night daddy; I cinta you!" I berkata "I cinta anda more."

***

Our flight to Florida was extremely early in the morning; so oleh the time we got there Christian was just about to wake up. I was able to sleep the entire flight as well; so the two of us were both well rested when we arrived. I took Christian off of the plane was my bodyguards behind me and a group of fan started screaming my name. That woke Christian up and I think he was startled because he wasn't expecting to be woken up like that.

When we got to the park, it was absolute pandemonium and I probably didn't think this through as much as I should have. Christian didn't even why anything to do with the theme park because he was so overwhelmed oleh all the people. He kept saying "daddy leave; daddy we go home!" He was shaking and couldn't hear me trying to talk to him over the crowd of screaming fans.

Once he started to cry, I knew the best thing I could possibly do to fix the situation was to bring him home. A few hours later, we boarded the private jet and I kept apologizing to Christian for not being able to take him to see Mickey Mouse. I don't think he really realized what he was missing out on; so it didn't really bother him too much! I told him I would take him shopping and buy him a bunch of toys to make up for it. He seemed to get over the whole experience pretty quickly once I mentioned that.

Sometimes I just wish I could choose when I get to be famous; instead of it being all the time. anda have no idea how terrible I feel right now because I wanted to see his expression when he saw Mickey mouse for the first time in person. I have plenty of time to take him to disney World again and when I do I'm going to planet through a lot more!!!