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January 1, 2015,

I looked around the hospital room and berkata "I'm so glad that I can finally go home! I didn't expect it to take that many days for me to be rehydrated enough to go home!" Kyle berkata as we walked out to my truck "what do anda think your family is going to say when they find out that you're pregnant with my baby?" I berkata "you heard what the doctor berkata to me yesterday; I can't be stressed out and I can pretty much guarantee anda that a few people in particular are going to raise my stress level once they find out I'm pregnant again! The whole reason I passed out in the first place was because of the pressure that was being put on me! The last thing I need are my uncles and aunt Janet complaining about me being pregnant!!!" Kyle berkata "I understand that anda don't want to tell them; but anda can't hide it forever! Wouldn't anda rather them find out from us? Rather than the other option; which is to tampil up one hari with a huge stomach and have your water break!" I berkata "it's completely up to anda whether anda want to tell them are not! All I know is that I'm not putting up with their BS because it's not good for me atau the baby! anda can tell them; just don't do it when I'm around because I really don't want to hear it! I couldn't care less about what they think and I don't feel like they should act like they deserve for their opinions to be heard! They tried to turn grandma against me and my siblings! They kidnapped her and we had no idea where she was! They talk bad about dad in front of all of us and that makes me so angry because all dad ever did for them was basically bend over backwards to make sure that had everything they ever wanted! I don't even really think I want to see them again for as long as I live!" Kyle berkata "we really need to stop talking about this because I can tell just doing that is stressing anda out babe! Don't worry about telling them that you're pregnant; I'll tell them when you're not around!" I berkata "in the meantime, we can at least tell my grandmother, Blanket, Prince, and Paris because I know that they'll be happy for us!" Kyle asked "how are we going to tell Carter?" I berkata "give me a few days because I just got out of the hospital and I need to regroup! We can tell him after I get settled back in at home!" Kyle berkata "I feel so terrible that anda had that much stress on your shoulders! I shouldn't have let Frank put that much pressure on anda about going back on tour when anda weren't ready to!" I berkata "that's not your fault Kyle! I realize that I'm the one that has to bring the money in for us to live off of. I can promise anda that a few months after the baby is born I'll be lebih than ready to go on tour again because I'll have lebih time to prepare my mind to be away from anda guys for nine months straight!"

We pulled up in front of my grandmother's house and walked inside. Grandma came up to me and frantically asked "are anda okay? What happened? I heard anda passed out at your concert!!!" I chuckled and berkata "relax grandma; I'm fine!" She berkata "sorry; I just feel like I have to compensate for how worried your father would be if he was here!" Paris and Prince came running up to me and Prince berkata "I'm so glad you're okay AJ! I was really worried about anda when I found out that anda passed out!" Paris berkata "I know; I was too! The video of anda passing out on stage is all over YouTube and the news! I guess one of the fan had a video camera with them and captured the whole thing! anda seemed like anda to the ground really hard!"

I opened up the doors to the sarang, den and gestured for my grandmother and siblings to follow me inside. Grandma berkata "whatever happened to anda must've been pretty serious for anda to want to talk to us alone in here! I don't like the vibe you're putting out AJ; you're worrying me!" Kyle and I sat down on the dipan, sofa selanjutnya to them and they all looked at us with worried expressions on their faces. We sat there in stunned silence for about five menit before Kyle burst out and berkata "I can't take it anymore; AJ'S PREGNANT!!!" Paris looked at me and berkata "wait; I thought anda couldn't get her pregnant Kyle! It is Kyle's baby; I hope!" I rolled my eyes and berkata "of course it's his baby Paris! I would never cheat on Kyle!" She took a sigh of relief as Prince asked "then how are anda pregnant with his baby?" I berkata "there was only a 5% chance of him being able to get me pregnant on his own; so we thought the odds of it actually working were pretty much impossible! I guess this is one of those times where someone can say never say never!" Grandma asked "is that why anda passed out AJ? Did anda know anda were pregnant? Were anda trying to hide it just so anda could go on tour and hope that nobody would find out?" I berkata "no; I didn't pass out because of that. I passed out because I was dehydrated from the morning sickness. I didn't know at all that I'm pregnant! I just thought I was throwing up because of nerves. Being pregnant was the last thing on my mind!" She asked "were anda and Kyle still trying to get pregnant; even though the doctor berkata that there was pretty much your chance of that happening?" I berkata "I wouldn't say that we were necessarily trying to get pregnant. It was one of those things where if that happened we wouldn't be opposed to it! Kyle and I pretty much accepted the fact that he would never give us any biological children together! Before this happened, we actually started looking into adopting a child. "Blanket berkata "I'm so happy that I'm going to be an uncle again!" Kyle berkata "we really appreciate anda watching Carter and taking him to school for us while AJ has been in the hospital! Before I forget, I want anda guys to help keep AJ's stress level down during the pregnancy because the doctor berkata it's not good for the baby!!! The doctors don't really want her doing too much while she's pregnant! She's pretty much on tempat tidur rest the entire pregnancy!" Prince laughed and berkata "like that's going to happen! AJ has ADHD and is going to be impossible to make her relax for nine months!" Kyle berkata "I have a feeling it's going to take all of us for her to follow through with taking it easy; but we have to make it work!"

January 9, 2015,

Carter sat at the edge of his tempat tidur watching TV when Kyle and I decided to check on him. I sat down and berkata "hi buddy; I bet you're wondering why I didn't go on tour like I berkata I was going to!" He berkata "yeah; I was just thinking about that! Why didn't anda go mommy?" I berkata with a smile on my face "you're going to have a little brother atau sister soon!" He asked "you and daddy are having a baby together? How come your stomach is not big?" Kyle chuckled and berkata "it doesn't get big right away Carter! It'll be a while before anda can really tell!" Carter berkata "make sure it's a boy because I want a little brother!" I berkata "we don't get to pick what it's going to be Carter; it just happens!"

February 3, 2015,

I had just left the bathroom, after waking up early in the morning with morning sickness and I climbed back into bed. Kyle asked "are anda sure you're okay?" I berkata "yes; I told anda it's normal for me to be throwing up!" He berkata "if there's anything anda ever need from me don't be afraid to ask!" I berkata "there is one thing." He asked "what is it?" I berkata "I've been craving Chinese food like crazy and I was wondering if anda would go get us some?" He looked over at the clock and berkata "it's 6 o'clock in the morning and I don't know if any Chinese food places are open this early. I'll go check anyway; just because I cinta you." I berkata "thanks Kyle; I really appreciate it!"

A few hours later, he arrived back at the house and walked up to our bedroom carrying a huge bag of Chinese food. He berkata "sorry it took me so long; you're in luck though because I found a 24-hour Chinese food restaurant a few towns over!" I berkata "you didn't have to drive that far just to get me the food that I wanted!" He berkata "I know; but I wanted to!" He started picked up food out of the bag and sat down on the bed. He berkata "I know Damien wasn't here for anda last time when anda were pregnant with Carter and I want to tampil anda how a real man is supposed to act!" I berkata "you don't really have to treat me any different just because I'm pregnant." He berkata "you deserve to be treated like the Queen!" I berkata "I know one thing's for sure; I hate being stuck in this bedroom all hari every day!" He berkata "it's only been a little over a week and anda are already going crazy!" I berkata "I don't understand why I have to lay in tempat tidur pretty much the entire pregnancy! My ADHD is driving me nuts and I don't know how much of this I can take!" He berkata "I know that it seems like it sucks right now; but it'll be worth it once anda see the baby for the first time!" I berkata "I know you're right; I just hope that I can keep my stress level down enough to where it doesn't affect the baby!" He berkata "I'll do everything I can to make sure that anda relax as much as possible until the baby is born! Don't worry about anything because I've got it under control!"

February 23, 2015,

"I can't believe we're having a baby girl!" Kyle berkata as we walked in the house after going to the doctors. I berkata "I'm so glad it's a girl because after this I'm done being pregnant! I don't want any lebih kids!" Kyle berkata "we have our son and our daughter and that's good enough for me!" I sat down on the dipan, sofa and Kyle berkata "since I wasn't around when anda named Carter, anda should let me name her on my own! At least the first name!" I berkata "I don't know if anda can handle that Kyle! It would be different if we were having a boy; but anda have to remember that whatever name we name our daughter she is going to be stuck with for the rest of her life! I don't want her to have a stupid name!" He berkata "the name I picked out isn't that bad! How about if I give her the name I picked out for her first name and anda can pick out whatever anda want for her middle name?" I asked "what name did anda pick out for her first name Kyle?" He berkata "Addison." I raised my eyebrows and berkata "actually, I like it! Okay: anda win! We can name her Addison!"

I grabbed the baby book off the meja and started to flip through the pages. I stopped and berkata out loud "Addison Avery; how does that sound to you?" He berkata "I really like that!" I berkata "I guess her names going to be Addison Avery Lester; that was easier than I thought it would be!" Kyle berkata "speaking of names; I've always wondered why anda didn't change your last name to Lester when anda and I got married." I berkata "it's not that I didn't want to; but part of my celebrity image is my last name and if I changed it that would probably affect my fans! I've been known as Alanna Jackson oleh the public for so long that it would be awkward if I changed my last name." He berkata "that's okay; I understand! I was just always curious. It doesn't really matter to me whether atau not anda have my last name!"

April 15, 2015,

Kyle was gone go shopping and I was up in my room when the phone rang. I answered it and the person on the other end berkata "excuse me; I'm looking for Miss Jackson." I berkata "this is her." She responded "hello; I'm the principal at your son Carter's school." I asked "is everything okay?" She berkata "no; not really. Carter's been suspended and I need anda to come pick him up." I berkata "suspended; what can anda possibly suspend a first grader for doing?" She berkata "Carter was using foul language in front of the other children and inside his classroom. He was told several times not to say the things he was saying; but he just continued on." I berkata as I sighed "okay; I'll be there in a few menit to pick him up."

Even though I knew I wasn't supposed to be walking around much, I had to go pick up Carter because Kyle was gone. After driving to the school, I climbed out of my truck and walked inside. I walked down to the principal's office and the secretary let me into the room. I casually walked in and Carter looked up at me with shame in his eyes. I looked at the principal and berkata as I grabbed Carter's arm "I'm sorry for the inconvenience. I assure anda that it won't happen again." She berkata "he suspended for a week of school. I'll see anda then."

After Carter and I got into the truck, he looked at me in silence and I looked at him and he berkata "please don't tell daddy mommy!" I asked "what did anda say in your classroom that got anda in trouble?" He berkata "I told the teacher to shut the fuck up because she wouldn't stop complaining about my handwriting! Please don't tell daddy!" I rolled my eyes and berkata "don't worry; I won't because I know how it feels to get into trouble and I'm not the type of parent that's going to punish you. It's no big deal; I'll figure something out so daddy doesn't suspect anything weird going on!"

When we pulled into the driveway, Kyle had already gotten halaman awal and had parked his car selanjutnya to my parking spot. The two of us walked inside and Kyle asked "where have anda been AJ? anda know you're not supposed to be out of bed! Why is Carter with you?" I berkata while thinking quickly "you must've forgotten that today starts April break for Carter! He doesn't have school for a whole week." Kyle berkata "I've been so busy making sure that you're okay AJ that I must've forgotten all about it!" As Kyle walked away, Carter gave me a secretive high-five and berkata "thanks for covering for me mommy!"

April 21, 2015,

I'm running out of things to do to keep myself busy because Kyle won't let me do anything other than stay up here in our bedroom all hari every day! I decided to have him bring some of my childhood halaman awal film for us to watch together. He put one of the film in the VCR and pressed play:

Dated at the bottom of the screen January 5, 2005,

I was holding the camera and laughing hysterically as dad attempted to skateboard; but he could barely stand up on it. He berkata "I don't know about this AJ! It doesn't look safe! I don't know how anda do this! It's moving around too much for me!" I berkata "dad; come on! You're being such a wimp! Once anda get the hang of it, you'll be fine; trust me! It's not as hard as it looks!" He hopped off skateboard and berkata "I'll stick to dancing. I'm afraid that if I keep trying to skateboard on that thing I will crack my head open!" I berkata "you're going to be missing out; that's all I have to say about it." He berkata "all I know about skateboarding is that I better not catch anda without your ketopong, helm on!" I berkata "yeah, yeah, yeah; I know dad! anda don't have to give me a lecture!" He berkata "it may seem like I'm nagging you; but you'll thank me later!"

*Video ends*

I immediately started crying and Kyle asked "is it the pregnancy mood swings again?" I berkata "my dad was supposed to be here! He shouldn't have died! Being pregnant again only makes me miss him lebih because it reminds me of how much he did for me when I was pregnant with Carter!" Kyle berkata "I wish there was something I could do to make anda feel better! If anda don't want to watch anymore video we don't have to." I berkata "I don't think I could handle watching another video with him in it. It's just too much for me to handle! I don't understand why I was just so mean to him when all he ever wanted was to make me a good person! I just keep going back to the hari when I pretty much ditched him with Carter to go get drunk with some of my friends! I'll be the first to admit that I wasn't a good mom at all of the beginning! My dad pretty much took care of him on his own while I slept all hari and drank all night! I hate to say it; but if my dad wasn't around to take care of Carter those last few months before he passed away I don't think I would have Carter today! He would probably be in the foster care system because I wouldn't have taken care of him! Looking back on it now, I treated my dad like a personal babysitter and I should have appreciated everything that he's done for me over the years! It wasn't fair to him! He didn't want to be a dad again and basically he was because I wasn't taking care of my son!" Kyle berkata "you really need to stop beating yourself up for that! That happened a long time yang lalu and anda heard what the psychic said! Your dad forgives anda and he doesn't want anda to feel guilty about stuff that happened before he died!" I berkata "I just don't understand why he had to die when I was only 15 years old and a teenage mother on puncak, atas of that! He left me at the worst possible time and I wasn't at all prepared for the reality of how the real world worked! Anytime I ever got in trouble before, he would come to my rescue and now he isn't here anymore to protect me from how awful the world can be!" Kyle berkata "I know that if he had the choice to stay alive he would still be here! He even told anda through the psychic that he wasn't ready to leave this world!" I berkata "I would do anything just to hug him one lebih time!"

April 25, 2015,

Kyle came and asked with irritation in his voice "how long were anda planning to lie to me?" I asked "what do anda mean?" He berkata "Carter's school just called and asked me if we wanted someone to drop off the school work he's missed this week!" I berkata "I knew anda would overreact and punish Carter from getting suspended! That's the whole reason I lied to anda in the first place!" He berkata "I don't want this to turn into a fight because it's not good for anda atau the baby. All I'm saying is that if anda don't start punishing him soon for misbehaving it will only get worse." I berkata "I realized that Kyle; but what he did wasn't that bad! I've done way worse when I was seven years old!"

Kyle called Carter into our bedroom and Kyle asked "how come anda didn't tell me that anda got suspended from school?" Carter berkata "mommy berkata it was no big deal! anda just need to mind your own business daddy!” My eyes widened in shock oleh what had just come out of my son’s mouth. I berkata "don't talk to your dad like that Carter." Kyle just rolled his eyes in disbelief as Carter walked out of the room.

May 3, 2015,

Kyle came out of Carter's bedroom and berkata "I took the video game out of his room." I asked "why did anda do that?" He berkata "because his teacher just called and he's been suspended again." I asked "what did he do this time?" Kyle berkata "he ran off of school grounds during recess and the teacher couldn't find him!" I berkata "maybe we should just take him out of school and start homeschooling him." Kyle berkata "that's not going to fix the problem AJ! What he really needs is for one of us to discipline him and since anda won't let me do it you're going to have to!" I berkata "disciplining him isn't going to make a difference. I don't see it as a big deal because the teachers found him. I'm not going to discipline him for that Kyle!" Kyle berkata with irritation in his voice "so you're just going to leave me to pick up the pieces when you're gone on tour? I'll have to deal with him and a newborn baby all on my own; the way things are going he's going to be out of control oleh the time anda leave! The principal berkata she would drop him off for us because I can't trust anda to stay in tempat tidur like you're supposed to!"

Before long, Carter walked through the door and Kyle looked at me; expecting me to do something. I walked Carter into his room and shut the door behind us. I sat down on the tempat tidur selanjutnya to him and berkata "I can't believe anda walked off of school grounds Carter!" He berkata "whatever" and flopped backwards onto the bed. I berkata "it's not whatever Carter! Nobody knew where anda were and anda could have gotten hurt! Someone could've hurt anda atau kidnapped you! Do anda know how sad your dad and I would have been if we lost you?" Carter chuckled and berkata "I was only gone for a few menit mommy!" I berkata sternly "I don't find this funny at all and anda will be punished!" Carter berkata "yeah right; anda wouldn't do that!" I asked "you want to bet?"

I removed the mounted flatscreen TV off of the dinding and walked out of the room. Once Carter realized what I was doing, he ran up to me and kicked me in my stomach right in front of Kyle. That's when Kyle flipped out! He shouted "DID anda JUST KICK YOUR MOTHER IN THE STOMACH?" Carter immediately started crying at the sound of Kyle raising his voice at him because he's never done that before. I berkata "whoa Kyle; chill out! He's only seven!" Kyle berkata "go to your room Carter!" Carter ran off to his room and slammed the door.

Kyle asked frantically "are anda okay? I can't believe he kicked anda in your stomach; you're pregnant!" I berkata "I know you're scared for the baby; but that doesn't give anda any excuse to scream at Carter like that! anda saw his face; he was terrified of anda and still is! I didn't expect anda to traumatize him like that! He's never been exposed to that sort of reaction before! I don't appreciate anda akting like that towards him and I think anda should apologize to him! That was totally uncalled for!"

Kyle felt terrible as he walked into Carter's bedroom and saw him hysterically crying on his bed. Kyle knelt down selanjutnya to him and berkata "I didn't mean to scare anda Carter. I'm sorry buddy! anda just can't kick mommy in the stomach like that because it could've hurt the baby. That's the only reason why I screamed at you; but I won't do it again because I know it was wrong!" Carter sat up and berkata "that was really scary how your face turned red!"

Kyle decided to leave the room because he was feeling awful and I think he actually wanted to cry. I sat down on the tempat tidur and looked around the room. I proceeded to give my son a lecture; which is something I thought I would never do. I berkata "if your behavior doesn't get better soon I'm going to start making anda go to school at home; like I had originally planned." Carter berkata "but anda can't do that because I have so many friends! I cinta going to school!" I berkata "if I want to do that than I have the right as your mother to do so." Carter asked eagerly "if I say I'm sorry for getting suspended from school and kicking anda do I get my TV back?" I berkata "yes; a week from now! Nice try though!"

I shut Carter's bedroom door after setting him up with a game on my laptop. I stood outside the doorway and slid my back down the dinding as I sat down on the ground. Kyle came over with tears in his eyes and sat down selanjutnya to me. He put his arm around me and berkata "I'm so sorry AJ! I never intended to scream at him like that! I guess I just got caught up in the moment and overreacted!" I stared off into luar angkasa and Kyle asked "what's wrong?" I berkata softly under my breath "I just realized how much I sounded like my dad when I was punishing Carter just now. Oh my God; that's freaking me out! I sounded exactly like he did when he was punishing me!" Kyle laughed and berkata "I bet anda never thought in 1 million years that anda would lecture your son just like your dad did with anda for 15 years!"

May 13, 2015,

I was going through some old stuff in the attic while Carter looked through some boxes for something to play with. He came across a book and passed it to me. I asked "what's this buddy?" He berkata "I don't know; but it has your name on it. I looked at the front cover of what appeared to be a foto album with the words "daddy's little tomboy" written in marker across the top.

Carter sat on my lap as I started to flip through the pages. He pointed to a picture of dad and I in the swimming pool and asked "who is that? Why are they in our swimming pool?" I berkata as I chuckled "that's me when I was your age and your Papa!" He asked with a puzzled look on his face "why are anda guys in our swimming pool?" I berkata "this is where I grew up Carter! My daddy raised me here just like daddy and I are raising anda here!" Carter joked "you grew up mommy? anda still act like a big kid!" I smiled and berkata "yeah; I guess I really didn't grow up after all!"

As we looked at the various photos, Carter asked "what was your daddy like?" I just sat there in silence for what felt like forever trying to process what he had just asked me. I berkata as a single tear ran down my face "he was the best daddy ever!" He asked "why are anda crying mommy?" I berkata "it's okay to cry." I wiped my tear filled eyes as Carter asked "do anda have any good stories anda can tell me about Papa?" I moved the two of us off of the ground and sat down with Carter still on my lap in a really comfortable reclining chair. I berkata "plenty of good stories!" Carter asked "can anda tell me some of them?" I berkata "of course I will!"

I started oleh saying "I remember one time when I was almost 3 when your Papa took me to Disneyland right before uncle Prince was born. It was only the detik time I ever remember going to Disneyland and I remember that I was scared of Mickey Mouse. I wouldn't let go of your Papa's leg and was screaming at the puncak, atas of my lungs! Then he would whisper in my ear and tell me that everything was going to be okay! That he would never let anything happen to me! That there was nothing to be afraid of because he was there to protect me!" I started crying hysterically with Carter still on my lap as I recalled those exact words coming out of my father's mouth.

I moved Carter off of my lap and said" I'm sorry Carter; I can't talk about him anymore! I'll be back in a few minutes. Why don't anda go watch TV in your room for a while? I'm going to go to my room. Carter berkata "I'm sorry I made anda cry mommy."

I ran up to our bedroom just as Kyle was getting dressed and collapsed onto the tempat tidur in a mess of emotions that Kyle had never witnessed coming from me before. He lay down selanjutnya to me and asked "oh my God; what's wrong babe?" I started hyperventilating and forced out of the words "I think – I'm having – a panic – attack!" He berkata "just take deep breaths; calm down!" I berkata "I can't do this without my dad!" Kyle asked "you can't do what without your dad?" I berkata "I can't live life without him!" He berkata "yes anda can! You've been doing pretty good!" I berkata "he was supposed to be there for all of this! We got married and he wasn't physically there! I'm going to be having another baby and he won't even get to meet Addison! Carter doesn't even know really who his grandfather is; even though I tried so hard to keep his memory alive. I guess I just don't want to let my dad go! I can't be at peace with him being gone! Okay; I admit it! I needed him and I still need him! I JUST WANT MY DADDY; THAT'S ALL I WANT! I JUST WANT HIM TO HOLD ME! I KNOW I'M 21 YEARS OLD; BUT I JUST WANT HIM TO HOLD ME LIKE I'M FIVE YEARS OLD AGAIN AND NEVER LET GO! I don't miss my dad; I MISS MY DADDY! The daddy that tucked me into tempat tidur every night; even when I was a teenager he still did that! The daddy that always told me that he loved me; no matter what I did! The daddy that cut my food for me when I was little! The daddy that tied my shoes for me and then spent hours teaching me how to tie them on my own! The daddy that consoled me when I woke up in the middle of the night because of a bad dream! The daddy that wiped my –." Kyle widened his eyes with an awkward look on his face and berkata "I can see where this is going!" I burst out laughing and berkata "I was going to say nose!" Kyle breathed sigh of relief and berkata "oh thank God!" I berkata as I chuckled "I'm not excluding what anda thought as a possibility when I was younger he did do that; when I was a toddler! Anyway; my point is that I realized that I don't miss my dad at all! Who I really miss is my daddy! The sad thing is that I pushed my daddy away a long time ago; when he was still alive! He would always try to reconnect with me after I turned into a teenager; but I didn't want to spend any time with him!"

Kyle moved me onto his lap and wrapped his arms around me. He berkata "I know that I'll never be as good as Michael was; but I'm not going anywhere! Everything is going to be okay and anda can do this! We can do this! You're not alone!"

September 22, 2015,

I shook Kyle out of the deep sleep he was in and berkata "it's time Kyle!" He asked as he yawned "time for me to get anda some lebih food?" I berkata "no; it's time for anda to take me to the hospital! I woke up a few menit yang lalu to go to the bathroom and my water broke when I got back into bed."

Kyle immediately jumped out of tempat tidur and berkata "oh my God! What are we going to do with Carter?" I berkata "my brother’s phone number is on speed dial and I already told him to be prepared to come over here and watch Carter if this happened in the middle of the night. Don't worry; I already called him and he's on his way. Actually, I think he just pulled into the driveway.

Kyle did something that I definitely wasn't expecting. He picked me up and cradled me in his arms as he ran out the door. Prince asked as he chuckled "what the heck are anda carrying AJ for Kyle? Her water broke; she's not paralyzed!" Kyle berkata frantically "there's no time to talk; we're having a baby anytime now!" Kyle practically threw the house keys out of the car window as we sped down the road. Kyle asked "are anda okay? The baby isn't coming yet is it?" I berkata "don't worry; she's not going anywhere unless I start pushing." Kyle berkata "whatever anda do; please don't push! I don't want to be another news story about a father her delivers his baby on the side of the road!" I berkata "calm down Kyle; I'm lebih calm than anda are and I'm in a lot of pain!" He berkata "sorry; I'm just excited and nervous all at once!"

After a nurse took us to a hospital room, we sat there waiting for the doctor to come in. After she arrived, she berkata "oh my God; this baby is going to come out any detik now! anda didn't start pushing yet; did you?" I berkata "no; why?" She berkata "the baby's head in already all the way out! I have a feeling you're only going to need to push once! I was going to offer anda the epidural; but there's no time!" I berkata as I recalled the tremendous pain I was in from giving birth to Carter without the epidural "I don't want to do this without some sort of numbing medication!" She berkata "you don't really have a choice at this point! We just have to get this baby out as soon as possible! Trust me; it's not going to be as bad as the first time because all anda need is push a little bit and the baby will be out."

Sure enough, without even really trying; our daughter was brought into this world. Kyle looked over and berkata "she has my hair; she's pretty much bald though.” One of the nurses passed her to Kyle and he started to cry as he looked down at her. He brought her up to me and berkata "here's our little miracle baby! Addison Avery Lester." I took her out of his arms and berkata "I can't believe anda and I created something so beautiful together!" The Doctor berkata "she seems really healthy; anda can go halaman awal with her today if anda want to!"

After signing a release form, Kyle and I walked out to his car and he started trying to figure out how to install the car seat. I chuckled as he tangled himself up with the seatbelt in the back kursi and berkata "I thought anda would've practiced this a few times; before we brought her home!" He berkata "I think I figured it out; go ahead." I buckled her into the car kursi after sitting down selanjutnya to it and Kyle started the car.

I berkata "I have a feeling that Carter will be sleeping still; oleh the time we get back to the house. It's 3 o'clock in the morning and I don't think we shouldWake him up." Kyle berkata "Prince must've woken him up because I can see him through the windows in front of the house and he's watching TV."

Kyle walked behind me while he carried the car kursi with Addison inside it. Carter waited patiently while Prince took his niece over to him. Carter held Addison for a lot longer than I expected him to. He berkata "I'm so excited that I'm a big brother!" I berkata "that means you're going to have to help take care of Addison with daddy while I'm on tour starting in a few months. That reminds me of something; Kyle when are anda going to start decorating Paris's old bedroom into the nursery for Addison?" He berkata "Addison can stay in our room until after anda leave on tour and that way it can be a surprise for anda when anda get home. Trust me; it'll be worth the wait! I'm going to make the most perfect nursery anyone could ever imagine for my little girl! In the meantime, let's appreciate the last four months before anda leave on your tour because after that I'm going to be taking care of two kids all on my own for nine months straight. Surprisingly, I'm looking meneruskan, ke depan to it!"
Katherine Jackson tells TMZ she knows of NO evidence to support the conspiracy theory that people connected with the Michael Jackson Estate killed the singer.


A number of people, including LaToya Jackson, have suggested there was a conspiracy to kill Michael, and LaToya has berkata she believes Estate honchos were involved.

Katherine tells TMZ ... "It is only natural for people who loved Michael, including family members, to be suspicious about the circumstances surrounding Michael’s untimely death. So far I have not seen one shred of evidence that anyone associated with Michael’s estate conspired to kill him.

She continues, "If such evidence ever comes to my attention I will be the first to bring those facts to light. No one loved Michael lebih than I loved him, but no one should be falsely accused, as Michael was, of a crime they did not commit."
Como la brisa
Tu voz me acaricia
Y pregunto por ti
Cuando amanece

Tu amor aparece
Y me hace feliz
Me conoces bien
Y sabes tambien

Que nadie te querra
Como yo
Tu me haces sentir
Deseos de vivir,
Junto a ti por siempre

Tu amor es mi suerte
Tu voz me llama
Tu eres quien gana
En mi corazon
Porque me has dado

Algo sagrado
Con tu pasion
Me conoces bien
Y sabas tambien

Que no puedo vivir sin tu amor
Y cuando no estas
No jerami, hay felicidad
Mi vida no es vida

Si tu te vas
Todo mi amor eres tu
Todo mi amor eres tu
Cuando no estas

No jerami, hay quien me de lo
Que das tu
Pues todo mi amor eres tu
Noche de estrellas

Haz que me quiera
Como a ella yo
De...
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The mega-lawyer who successfully defended Michael Jackson in his molestation case is coming out swinging at Dr. Murray's defense team -- blaming MJ's death squarely on Murray because the singer was "not suicidal."


Thomas Mesereau went on MSNBC today -- and stated, "The defense lawyers have to do something and what they're gonna try and do is reflect attention away from their client and onto Michael Jackson."

He adds, "The reality is Michael Jackson was not suicidal, he was not self-destructive in the way they're trying to say, and hopefully their defense will not succeed."

For the record, Mesereau's "suicidal" statement is not accurate -- because according to our sources, the defense will argue that Michael MAY have accidentally killed himself after trying to self-administer Propofol ... but he was not suicidal.

Perhaps Mesereau's strongest komentar -- "I'm sorry that the defense is going to have to bash Michael Jackson to try and divert attention from their guilty client."
 tampil some respect oleh him. Let's say NO.
Show some respect by him. Let's say NO.
Discovery Channel will broadcast 13 January 2011 a documentary on events surrounding the death of the singer, Michael Jackson.

Based on the authopsy’s laporan and court documents, the film will tampil a reproduction of the body of the bintang in every detail. The documentary aims to follow a doctor who will dissect the body and reveal the true reasons for his death oleh spreading rumors about his addiction atau his skin condition.

Like any other human being on this earth, Michael Jackson is entitled to a minimum of decency and respect. Over the months, media accumulate abuse and act as low as before....
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The owners of the Neverland Ranch -- the former halaman awal of Michael Jackson -- want to turn the property into a teenage musik haven.


TMZ has learned Colony Capital wants to develop a business plan to turn Neverland into a small musik institute -- similar to The Juilliard School in NYC. The plan is to teach teens all aspects of music, including menulis and performing.

Colony wants to turn the property into a campus, in which scores of teenagers -- rich and poor -- can learn the trade that made Michael Jackson a legend.

There are two big stumbling blocks. The first is making sure Santa Barbara County will sign off on such a project.

The detik -- and bigger issue -- is whether Colony Capital can use Michael Jackson's name to promote such an institute. TMZ has good news for Colony .... sources directly connected with the Michael Jackson Estate tell us, "It's an interesting idea and we'd be open to it."
Not that we're trying to flatter ourselves, but don't people in Bahrain get TMZ?


AQ Business Consultants has filed a petition in the Michael Jackson Estate case, asking the judge for permission to belatedly file a creditor's claim, on grounds it didn't know there was a time in asking for money.

AQ claims it helped Michael refinance $320,000,000 in loans, for which it was entitled to a $3.2 million fee. AQ claims it's still owed $1.2 mil.

The deadline for filing a claim has passed, but AQ claims it didn't get proper notice.

Howard Weitzman, the lawyer for the Estate, tells TMZ, "I don't believe the claim has any merit but they're late in filing regardless."

But here's the thing ... TMZ is big in Bahrain, so what's the deal?
Katherine Jackson told Oprah Winfrey ... it was Dr. Conrad Murray himself who broke the news that Michael Jackson was dead.

1108_katherine_jackson_oprah_video
On an episode of "Oprah" airing today, Katherine explained how everyone at the hospital was reluctant to tell her what happened to her son.

She says Dr. Murray took so long in explaining things ... she had to cut him off, saying, "'Well, what happened? How is he? Did he make it?' And he said, 'No, he's gone.'"

See also

* Katherine Jackson's Partner -- My Bad!
* Katherine Jackson's Partner Backtracks on 'New' Song
* Rift in Michael Jackson's Family Over Song
The company suing the Michael Jackson estate for $300 million over the Jackson family konser that never took place just got two strikes against it, and the pitcher was a federal judge.


The judge on Tuesday threw out two of the three claims AllGood Entertainment filed against the estate, AEG and Frank Dileo.

The suit claims Dileo, MJ's alleged former manager, made a deal with AllGood that Michael would perform at a Jackson Family konser before doing any other gigs. oleh launching the london series of concerts, AllGood claims Jackson breached his deal and cost AllGood a bundle.

But a federal judge ruled AllGood's claim for fraud and tortious interference (i.e., intermeddling) was bogus. All that is left of the lawsuit is a breach of contract claim.

The estate claims Dileo never had authority to make a deal with AllGood.
posted by 2468244
Well, well
Well, well
If I could tear down these walls that keep anda and I apart
I know I could claim your jantung and our perfect cinta will start
But girl anda just won’t approve of the things that I do
When all I do is for anda but still anda say it ain’t cool

If there’s somebody else, he can’t cinta anda like me
And he, and he says he’ll treat anda well, he can’t treat anda like me
And he’s buying diamonds and pearls, he can’t do it like me
And he’s taking anda all across the world, he can’t trick anda like me

So why ain’t anda feelin’ me, she’s invincible
I can’t do anything, she’s...
continue reading...
posted by 2468244
anda may now apply (You may now apply
Your 3D glasses (Your 3D glasses)
As we proceed (Prepare to proceed)
2000 watts (2000 watts), 2000 watts (2000 watts)
2000 watts (2000 watts), 2000 watts (2000, 2,000 watts)
2000 watts (2000 watts), 2000 watts (2000 watts)
2000 watts (2000 watts), 2000 watts (2000, 2,000-Lo)

Bass note, treble, stereo control, how low anda go
It’s just enough to make all of your juices flow
Press play, don’t stop, rotate, too hot
You feel I’m real
I’m everything anda need, so tell me what’s the deal

2000 watts (2000), 8 ohms, 200 volts, real strong
Too much of that, fuse blown...
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Dr. Conrad Murray had requested lifesaving equipment and back-up help for Michael Jackson from the promoter of the london concerts -- AEG -- but the company never came through, according to a new complaint filed oleh Joe Jackson.


TMZ broke the story -- Joe was gunning for AEG oleh filing complaints with the California Medical Board and another agency, alleging the konser promoter abused Jackson in a way that led to his death -- and he's just filed with the Medical Board.

Joe claims days before Jackson's death Murray had requested a jantung resuscitation machine and a nurse in several e-mails making the request, but AEG never provided it.

According to the complaint, Joe is accusing AEG of co-opting Murray's medical judgment oleh enticing him with a huge salary -- in effect engaging in the "unlawful practice of corporate medicine."

Besides the CPR machine, Murray also asked for saline, catheters, needles and a gurney.

AEG and Murray had no comment.
posted by Tabbs
"Smooth Criminal"

As He Came Into The Window
It Was The Sound Of A Crescendo
He Came Into Her Apartment
He Left The Bloodstains On The Carpet
She Ran Underneath The Table
He Could See She Was Unable
So She Ran Into The Bedroom
She Was Struck Down, It Was Her Doom

Annie Are anda OK
So, Annie Are anda OK
Are anda OK, Annie
Annie Are anda OK
So, Annie Are anda OK
Are anda OK, Annie
Annie Are anda OK
So, Annie Are anda OK
Are anda OK, Annie
Annie Are anda OK
So, Annie Are anda OK,
Are anda OK, Annie

(Annie Are anda OK)
(Will anda Tell Us That You're OK)
(There's A Sign In The Window)
(That He Struck You-A Crescendo Annie)
(He Came Into...
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"People Make The World Go Round"

People...
('Round and 'round and around...)
People make the world go 'round
('Round and 'round and around...)

Teachers on strike, no lebih school today
They want lebih money but the board won't pay
People
Everybody's talkin' 'bout ecology
The air's so polluted that it's hard to breathe
People

[Refrain]
But that's what makes the world go round
The ups and downs a carousel
Changing people's heads around
Go underground young men...
People make the world go round...

Old folks judge anda oleh the clothes anda wear
They'd swear you're a hippy if anda have long hair
Young politicians fight...
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posted by Zashleyfan16
Baby Be Mine

Verse 1:
I don't need no dreams when I'm oleh your side
Every moment takes me to paradise
Darlin', let me hold you
Warm anda in my arms and melt your fears away
Show you, all the magic that a perfect cinta can make
I need anda night and day

Chorus 1:
So baby, be mine (baby, anda gotta be mine)
And girl I'll give anda all I got to give
So baby, be my girl (all the time)
And we can share this ecstasy
As long as we believe in love

Verse 2:
I won't give anda reason to change your mind
(I guess it's still anda thrill me, baby, be mine)
You are all the future that I desire
Girl, I need to hold you
Share my feelings...
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Deceitful eyes, she's got those come get me thighs
she only knows how low that she can go
She speaks the lines that can control my mind
Wherever she goes I know my eyes follow
She blew a kiss, I swear that it was meant
only for me, then spoke with her body
her only goal is just to take control
And I can't believe that I can´t tell her no

[CHORUS]
That girl I can't take her
should have known she was a heartbreaker
that girl I can't take her
should have seen right through
her she's a heartbreaker
That girl I can't take her
should have seen it coming heartbreaker
that girl I can't take her
should have seen right...
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I thought she had to have it
Since the first time she came
Who knows the situation
Mysteries do remain
And now I wonder why
I breakdown when I cry
Is it something I said
Or is it just a lie
Is it just a lie

I try so hard to cinta you
Some things take
Time and shame
I think the whole world
Of you
Your thoughts of me remain
I'll play the fool for you
I'll change the rules for you
Just say it and I'll do
Just make this thing
Come true
Make a dream some true

If I let her get away
Though I'm begging
On my knees
I'll be crying everyday
Knowing the girl
That got away

I can't let
I can't let her get away
I can't let
I can't let...
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She's from a world
Of jagung meletus, popcorn and candy
Pony rides for a dime
Little children laughing

I'm from a world
Of disappointments and confusions
But I want her to be mine
I started talking
She kept on walking
She disappeared into the crowd

I lost my heart
On the carousel
To a circus girl
Who left my jantung in pieces
Lost my heart
On The carousel
To a circus girl
Who ran away.

I was the clown
And she was the dancer
We both knew it wouldn't work
But we took our chances
What I can't recall
Is if there was a girl at all
Or was it my imagination?
I still remember
All of those faces
And now all I have is memories.

I lost my heart
On...
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I don't wanna pindah when I'm in her hands
There's nothing I can do atau say. Uh!
Put everything on hold.
Cancel all my plans
Tell everybody I'm away - Hey.
She may be bad, but she feels so good
I'll give her anything she wants.

She's trouble (I know it)
She only needs to touch me
I'm in trouble (I know it) Hee! Ow.
She's trouble (I cinta it)
I know just when she does it
I'm in trouble (I know it)

I never knew what's
running through her mind
No telling what she's gonna do - Ee.
Her every pindah is like a danger sign
And daring me to come on through - Hey!
She may be bad, but she feels so good
I give her anything she...
continue reading...
posted by pmjlover1997
1st verse:
looking out
across the nightime
the city winks a sleepless eye
hear her voice
shake my window
sweet seducing sighs
2nd verse:
get me out
into the nightime
four walls won't hold me tonight
if this town
is just an apple
then let me take a bite
chorus:
if they say
why,why, tell'em that it's human nature
why,why,does he do me that way
if they say -
why,why,tell'em that it's human nature
why, why,does do me that way
3rd verse:
reaching out
to touch a stranger
Electric eyes are ev'ry where
see that girl
she knows i'm watching
she likes the way i stare
chrous:
if they say
why,why, tell'em that it's human nature
why,why, does do me that way
if they say-
why,why, tell'em that it's human nature
why,why,
instrumental
4th verse:
looking out
across the morning
where the city's jantung begins to beat
reaching out
i touch her shoulder
i'm dreaming of the street
(repeat chrous once)
[Stevie]
Na Na Na-Na Na Na Na Nah!
[Michael]
Hoo Hoo!
Dancin'-Hee!
Doggone Lover!
[Stevie]
C'mon Boy

[Michael]
I Watched anda On The Floor
Cheek To Cheek
She's Getting To You
You Didn't See-Her Eyes On
Me-No
She Looked Right Through You
(Before anda Make)
Before anda Make
(A Big Mistake)
Remember
That Looks Can Fool You
Babe, Hee!

There's Something I Would
Sure Appreciate
(If anda Can Keep A Secret)

Baby Loves Me
But She Never Shows
She Cares
(No, anda Won't See Her Kiss
And Hug Me)
Baby Loves Me
No She Acts Like I'm
Not There
(That Doesn't Mean She
Doesn't cinta Me-Ooo)

If They Ask Her
Tell 'Em That We're Just
Good friends . . .
Dah!...
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