Today hasn't been a great day for me. I've felt this before too. I wouldn't mind to be a dog or a cat and have no worries, no conflict, no responsibilities. I'm just a bad person who's feelings don't matter.

Many ppl have bullied me elementary-middle school & it's made me feel like I shouldn't be in this world...like I'm an alien on a strange planet.

you can't let people get you down only one person is in charge of your happiness and that is you. You must do whatever it takes to keep going. While feeling down is a normal emotion feeling like you shouldn't exist is wrong. You have people that care about you. I suggest you see a psychiatrist, this is not an insult but no one on this site is a doctor that I am aware of and negative thinking like this can lead you down a dark path. A doctor can help you alter your thinking to feel better and prescribe medications if necessary if you have clinical depression or anxiety.

Yeah, I've been bullied most of my childhood :/ It's never fun and I'm sorry to hear that Diaz :( And no way are you just a bad person who's feelings don't matter. Don't you ever say that about yourself. Everyone is good at something and EVERYONE'S feelings matter!

@ dancing_dear: Thank you for your concern I didn't take it as an insult. I'm just having a bad day here on Fanpop. I feel hurt, but apparently that's o.k. and it doesn't matter what I feel or think.

@ PrueFever: Not here on Fanpop anymore apparently, but thanks for the concern.

6th and 7th grade was a hard time for me...Fuck those bitches! Fortunately those days are long gone so Im at peace.

@diaz Dont feel to bad. I totally understand that people have a much harder life compared to animals, but Im syre things will get better! Im currently having a midlife crisis at 19 :/

@ uploaded900: Thank you, I just feel like I've always tried to be a really nice person who understands others and loves everyone but now I feel like people see me as a horrible person even though I've never done anything to anyone here. Hopefully you'll feel better and recover from your early midlife crisis. Animals don't need to worry about being nice and how others see them or anything like that. Lucky.

I'm sorry that you feel that way. I have, fortunately, not been a victim of bullying. You seem like a great person, don't let others get you down!

@Diaz: All right. Here is a list of people who have made me feel like I should never have been born:

1) an exhaustively long list of classmates
2) People who called themselves "my friends" but who turned on me and were actually "enemies"
3) An exhaustively long list of college and graduate school teachers
4) My own mother more times than I can count
5) My own father
6) My own sister
7) My own brother
8) Classmates in my test prep MCAT classes ( I failed the test, btw).
9) People online such as people on IMDB forums, and especially some members here on Fanpop
10) Males who were right in my face and attracted to me once, have turned on me, called me names, stood me up, made excuses for not keeping their promises, and have frozen me out ( not returning calls or texts,etc.).
11) A horrendously long list of bosses at my workplaces. Bosses who have told me everything from "You're stupid" to "you have no social skills and need to drop out of school" to "it's your fault that the samples are in the trash, because you threw them away!"--- when I was right there and WATCHED my boss throw the samples in the trash herself. Then my boss stood around and MADE ME retrieve every single one of the samples from the trash can, and did nothing to help. She stood around cackling and telling my coworker how "stupid" I was.
12) Some of the members, and the pastor/rabbi of the synagogue I used to attend

Just to let you know...everything in my head is not a bright place. In fact, Diaz, it's quite dark in here. The point is, I am functional only because I "will" myself "to be." When life is at its lowest, you have to drink heavily on your own feelings of courage. Even if you exist, other people will not always love or respect you...not even members of your own family. But you are letting others "dictate" your own self-worth, or how you will live--- if you start thinking you should die or disappear. Just the opposite needs to happen. I had to do the hardest thing yet, which was to learn to let people hurt me, endure the pain, and say to myself, "I forgive them, I forgive them, and because I forgive them, what they have said about me, sometimes to my face, or behind my back, ceases to matter. They will get what they deserve when it is their hour of reckoning. But I am genuinely entitled to being alive, and being who I am--- whether they like it or not."

Be strong, Diaz. Other people are out here, with you. We also are kind of the walking wounded, in a way. YOU'RE NEVER ALONE.

its my life it happens every day at school i get picked on its like i don't belng

Both online & offline. Not sure which one is worse tbh. Some of my so called friends at school were actually homophobes, so they used to call me names & bullied me at school. Later in life, some of my straight homophobic 'friends' have tried so hard to turn me into something that I'm not & when they haven't succeeded in their mission to convert me into being a straight, they became my worst enemies. They were no friends of mine at all! You see, I'm gay & a pacifist myself. I think violence is never the answer. Unfortunately, when you're gay & a pacifist that makes you a perfect target for all those homophobic bullies, both offline & online. I used to have some accounts on several social networks prior to joining Fanpop, but people who claim to be my friends soon turned into my enemies when I told them what I am & who my BF is so I had to close all those accounts due to extreme hate speach. You would be surprised how much some people can actually hate you, just for being yourself, online & offline alike. In my case, people from both sides hate me for marrying an Irishman. I'm an Englishman & an Anglican, he's Irishman & Roman Catholic. It's still a very big deal over here btw. When I was still in Belfast with my husband people used to hate us all the time, from both sides (EN & IE)! There's a lot of violence going on in Belfast, not just homophobia. The Real IRA is very active even today. They planted a bomb under my car once! Thank God it went off when I was still inside, at the restaurant, still working. I'm a waiter btw & my husband is a salesman in a department store. Some of his own countrymen hate him for being an English lover!! Some of my countrymen used to hate me, when still in Belfast, for being an Irish lover. The IRA even killed my own dad, back in 1995, when I was only 4, simply because he was an Englishman & a policeman in Northern Ireland! I moved from my hometown to Belfast at age 16 to start a new life. That didn't help me much tbh. There are 2 parts of Belfast: there is a British part & then there is an Irish part of Belfast. We don't mix a lot, even today! Back in Belfast, one unsatisfied customer refused to pay for his meal, so he pointed a gun at me & he held everyone in a restaurant hostages, until the police came & take him away! I never felt more scared in my entire life!! It happened only a couple of months ago. My boss even wanted me to take a gun with me at work for protection only, but when I refused, he hired a security guard to watch over me when at work. How could I ever carry a gun with me when serving the customers?! That was no way to make me feel safe again! I felt scared for weeks after returning to work. That wasn't a life that I had in mind for Seán & me. I have no idea why some people hate other people for no reason at all & I don't know how come there's so much violence in this world today. Peace & love is the only way for our future! That's our only sollution! Some people just don't (want to) understand & others simply don't know how to love anybody anymore, so they hate you instead, both offline & online, even if they never actually met you & they only know you from social networks. Some people don't even love themselves! That's just sad! My (Irish) husband & I we had to leave a still divided Belfast because it wasn't safe for any of us anymore, so we moved to Dublin. Is it safe here? Not really. At least not for me anyway. I have neighbours who hate me simply for being an Englishman! Could you believe that?! Even my new boss (in yet another restaurant, this time in Dublin) has already told me to drop my (English) surname (or last name) simply not to scare away the (Irish) customers, so I go by my husband's surname now. When in Dublin... When you're living in a mixed marriage there is no way you can ever feel completely safe, anywhere. Dublin is no exception. Perhaps we should move to Paris or Berlin to feel safe? There is at least a dozen people who hate you everywhere you go & bully you simply because you're different! What kinda reason is that?! Moving to Dublin was my husband's idea btw. His late great-aunt left him a flat (an appartment) & I just wanna stay the EU citizen even after the Brexit. Speaking of Brexit, that's another perfect example of xenophobia in UK! Some people in UK really hate all foreigners. And for what? For being different! Go figure that out.

It happens to me all the time. Not so much in reality but mostly here on Fanpop. Some users really hate me and they always find a way to make me feel worthless. They keep reporting me but I don't really care. They are just some trolls anyway and trolls don't belong to Fanpop. I wish I never joined Fanpop. That was a mistake. I know that now. People in real world hate me for being gay (I live in Italy). Homophobes are the worst! I could never be a friend with a homophobe!!! They hate every gay man on this planet! That means they hate me too. How could I ever be a friend with somebody who hates me?! I also have a lot of enemies here on Fanpop, not because I'm gay (at least I hope so) but because I always speak my mind, no matter what and being a (half) Italian I have a hot temper so I got angry sometimes at all those people who don't understand me at all. Some people on Fanpop just wanna make me leave and they will say or do anything to make me leave. I don't really like being here. There are some very horrible users on Fanpop who hate everybody, not just me, but even if they have 10 medals and if they joined Fanpop 12 years ago, they're still just trolls! People would say anything to make me feel unwanted here, some of them post comments which are insulting. I think some people on Fanpop are Internet bullies. They wanna make me feel like I'm the worst person alive. They are the real monsters! Sometimes I feel like I'm in the middle of the Hunger games where everyone is trying to kill me only to win the game! Fanpop is a real warzone and some users are even worse than president Snow!! I have only a couple of good friends here on Fanpop and a lot of enemies, even if I'm only 2 months on this site! Some people just don't like me, that's all. They don't like anything I say or do on this site. They are the reason I wanna leave this site. Some people just don't know when to stop. I have feelings too, you know, and some of those things they say is insulting. This could be a great site when there would be no trolls or people who are clearly nuts. They don't belong to Fanpop, they belong to a mental institution for medical treatment!! There are 5 or 6 people on Fanpop who really hate me. I think they're just nuts, with or without a medal, it doesn't really matter. People can bully other people even online, even here on Fanpop, by sending you mails. I think Fanpop should block all those people who are not on somebody's fan list from sending a mail. I had to delete many such mails coming from my enemies. Why should your enemy ever send you a mail if he or she really hates you?! It doesn't make any sense to me. Only friends should send mails to other friends, not the enemies!! I would never send a mail to my enemies! They don't like me, I don't like them! That's life! Get over it!