Where all my fears and anything and everything didn't matter.... where nothing helped.
No love.
No help.
No one cared.
At least... thats how it felt...
No one noticed because of the mask, the mask everyone see's...
I felt like everyone would either be better off if I just DIED atau might even throw a party!
Ha! I used to think thats what they all wanted they just acted nice.
I felt I didn't deserve there kindess.
Thats what I 'thought'.
Every night crying my self asleep,
every night thinking of how to kill my self,
every night praying...
praying God would kill me.
Now I pray for my loved ones.
Now I pray for happiness,
now I pray that I don't fall back into that hole...
The hole that scares me and that holds all my memories...
I pray that others will find a way to climb out.
I did it with one thing driving me...
I did it for MY dream!
I will work, and go threw this terrible world so I may spread my message!
I will go the distance so no one may fear that hole ever again!
I will for my children,
my grand children,
AND THERE CHILDREN!
This is what anda do, anda look for something,
something positive, to take your mind off
EVERYTHING!
Get a new attitude, try it out for a few months,
and forgive your self.
Forgive everyone around you.
And forgive your enimies~!
And maybe find a religion if anda don't have one.
Live for your loved ones,
live for your lover,
and most importantly...
live for you!
~B
