10. You never have to use the spacebar when typing long sentences.

9. All monitors display two-inch-high letters.

8. When it comes to computers in the home, children can use them like M.I.T. grads while adults are bumbling imbeciles.

7. Computers that have powerful text-based command shells will be able to correctly understand and execute commands typed in plain English.

6. Corollary: You can gain access to any information you want by simply typing "ACCESS ALL SECRET FILES" on any keyboard.

5. Powerful computers beep whenever you press a key or whenever the screen changes. Some computers also slow down the output on the screen so that it doesn't go faster than you can read.

4. Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will be accomplished in under three seconds.

3. High-tech computers, such as those used by NASA or the CIA, have easy-to-understand graphical interfaces.

2. A teenage hacker can get into the most sensitive computer in the world before intermission and guess the secret password in two tries.

1. Picking up the pieces.