Written by: Suspenderlove
Dedicated to Aivi (Shelly) for being the most awesome and sweet Cadley-fan ever <3
Rated: T atau M (I’m not sure)
Contains: Mentioning of Self-Injury and other destructive behaviour, and of course, lesbian love. If anda have trouble with anything of the above mentioned, don’t read this content, anda are responsible for your own safety and well-being.
House.MD and all its characters belong to their rightfull owners, though I like to kidnap Remy during vacations *grin* English is not my first language, so mistakes are bound to be there. I’m not a really good writer, but I really wanted to share some (possible) Cadley love. This story is divided into four chapters, and these four chapters are part one of the whole fic.
CHAPTER 1: Revelations
It was a very dreary evening, and Remy Hadley was quickly getting ready to go halaman awal after an exhausting hari at work. Luckily it had been slightly lebih physically exhausting than mentally, because that would heal way quicker in her case. She had been working in the ER all day, tending broken fingers and nasty cuts instead of having to suffer the torture of House’s remarks. However, there had been a very different kind of suffering going on that day. The suffering of not being able to touch the person you’re so in cinta with it hurts everytime anda think about them. That’s right, Remy was in love. In cinta like she’d never ever been before.
‘Crappy idiot, I forgot to laporan that last patient to Alli- Dr.Cameron.’ Cursing herself for forgetting such a thing and almost calling Dr.Cameron oleh her first name, she hit her lockerdoor with her fist and went back to cari for the blonde.
After walking around for ten menit without having seen a glimpse of the ER-head, Remy decided to go to Cuddy and laporan the patient to her instead. Dragging her tired feet to the Dean’s office, she could hear muffled voices coming from the room. Curiosity taking the better of her, she snuck over with the cunning of Debbie the death cat, and concentrated on the words that were being said.
‘I know anda don’t want it, but with Chase gone the team really needs an addition…’
‘I can’t work with him Lisa, anda know that!’
‘Please Allison; for the sake of the hospital I need someone other than Dr.Foreman to watch House’s every move. anda now know how to handle him.’
Remy couldn’t help but try a little peek inside. She saw Cuddy wildly moving her arms while Cameron sat back in a chair, seemingly in deep thought. She was intrigued oleh the conversation, appearantly Cuddy wanted her on the team, and Cameron didn’t seem too happy about it. This was understandable, since she would be working for the man who’d partially destroyed her marriage, and had been annoying her for a big part of her carreer. If Remy had to be honest, she would cinta Cameron to enter the team again. Of course it would be difficult seeing her everyday, but atleast she got to see her, right? While she was thinking about all the possible things that could happen with her and Cameron alone in a lab at midnight, a silence fell, and Remy tried not to crumble because of the uneasy tension.
‘Okay, I’ll do it.’
Remy’s head snapped up, and her stomach began, once again, to fill with butterflies. She couldn’t believe it, Allison Cameron would be her coworker on House’s team. That meant they would be spending a lot of time together and she would be able to actually talk to her crush. She was grinning like a giddy teenage-girl, and her cheecks were a bit flustered because of joy.
‘Thank anda so much Allison, I owe you. Are there any other things you’d like to adress about your new job?’ Cuddy sat down with a smile of relief plastered on her face, watching the blonde. Cameron uncrossed her slender legs, and rubbed the back of head in order to be able to think better.
‘I’d like anda remember that, if House starts spiralling out of control, I won’t be the one taking care of him. Also, once he finds another good doctor he wants on the team, I’ll be gone.’
Cameron’s face was serious, and though she acted strong, the exhaustion began to tampil in her bodylanguage. Remy felt empathy washing over her, and she realised how terrible these last weeks must’ve been for the older doctor. She wished she could take the beautiful woman with her, and disappear to some deserted place where they could live a peacefull life enjoying doing absolutely nothing. Her musings were disturbed as she once again, heard the Dean speak.
‘I will make sure of that, anda can count on me. Now, I have one lebih thing to say.’
Remy inhaled deeply, trying to concentrate on Cuddy’s words for one lebih time. She was getting cramps in her legs from standing in a fairly undesirable position, but it was worth it.
‘You must’ve heard about Dr.Hadley and the things she does while off work… Now I’d like anda to-‘
Remy’s breath got caught in her throat and she felt anger building up in her gut. How could Cuddy discuss something like that with Cameron? Plus, she didn’t liked being talked about, especially about something as embaressing as her drinking-doing drugs-sleeping with strangers behaviour. She didn’t want her to know about that, things would become very awkward if Cameron would contfront her about it. And she had taken care of her self-destuct behaviour, she didn’t go out that often anymore, didn’t take girls home. She didn’t want anyone else but Allison.
Yes, she still wanted to fuck her life up so she could die hurting nobody and leaving no loved ones behind, but she knew that it’s not the thing one should do. Besides, she had other coping strategies than drinking, although anda couldn’t really call it coping either… Staring down at her arms, she thought about how she would even conquer that addiction for the woman she loved so much.
‘Keep an eye on her, and please warn me if anda think she’s spiralling out of control, atau if it’s affecting her work in any negative way. I think anda might be the only person she could put any trust in. I really want her to be okay, not just because of the hospital. I really think that one day, she could be a great doctor...’
Those last words Cuddy spoke, made Remy reevaluate her thoughts about the Dean. She really seemed to care about her; the Dean really cared about her employees.A trait that was fairly rare these days. She had been very grateful she hadn’t fired her the hari she had found her in an examroom hooked up on a bananabag. Still, Remy felt it wasn’t fair she talked to Cameron about this.
‘I noticed Dr.Hadley being a bit…how should I say this, unfocused for the past weeks. But I don’t think it has really affected her work in any way yet. Today she was working really hard, she was really nice to the patients and I can’t help but praise her for the dedication she’s showed today… A silence fell, and Remy started rubbing her neck to get rid of the tension.
‘There’s just something I can’t lay my finger on-
’
The brunette couldn’t help but smile at the words Allison berkata about her, but that smile quickly faded when she heard her last sentence.
‘- We had this girl coming in today, she had some really alarming cuts on her arm. And Dr.Hadley seemed not to be able to handle it…’ Cameron proceeded thoughtfully, trying to convey her feelings about the situation. The dean nodded, encouraging her to go on.
‘I’m sorry, I hate talking about co-workers like this. I think I shouldn’t proceed.’ The blonde told Cuddy abruptly, clenching her jaw and looking her straight in the eye.
Remy froze that exact moment when she heard Cameron tell Cuddy about that situation today. She had just finished stitching up a kid who had fallen from his bike, and was trying to find an opening to get some lunch, when a teenage girl had come to the ER. Being the only one available at that moment, the girl had come to her. She had showed her the cuts on her arms, while begging her to not tell this to her parents atau put it in a file. Remy had panicked, excused herself, and told a nurse to go and have Cameron treat the girl. She herself had run to the bathroom to relieve the pressure that had been building up once she’d seen the cuts on the girl’s arms. About fifteen menit later, she’d been calmed down enough to tampil herself to the world again. The girl had been taken to an examroom to give her some privacy, and Remy had signed off to go and get some lunch. If a nurse had told Cameron this, she would have been confronted, she thought.
‘I understand Dr.Cameron, but anda must realise if something like this happens again, anda have to laporan it to me, understood?’
‘Yes, Dr.Cuddy’
Remy knew it was time to pindah her pantat, keledai out of here, so she decided to just drop a message at the nurses’ station to laporan the patient. After doing so and sneaking away, she couldn’t help but cast one last glance at the office before disappearing into the New Jersey night.
Only she didn’t get away unseen. A certain blonde was standing just around the corner observing the young doctor, her eyes full of concern.
________________________________________________
CHAPTER TWO: Nightlife consequences
‘Coping.’ Remy read out loud as she walked along the stores of the Princeton Campus library.
Remy couldn’t cope with things, she never could. In elementary school she would just hide in a corner when Ryan, a blond guy with a big mouth, would bully her. She would never tell her teacher atau her parents about it, she would just suck it all up and be a quiet girl. Now that’s not really coping with it. She’d seen her mother deteriorate, hear her yell at her. She would just go to her room and draw atau read, suck it up and not cope with it. It had worked ‘till then. Junior high had been fairly uneventfull; she’d been a good student and a good girl with a handful of friends. But once she got into Highschool, things had started to turn upside down. She had discovered drinking, drugs, and how akting like a sexy rubah betina made her populer among both boys and girls. Not that she really enjoyed attention; she would just do it to fill the empty void inside of her for a bit. She would go out in the weekends, get wasted and sometimes she could get her hands on some stuff. She discovered she was into boys and girls, actually liking girls a bit better than boys. She would secretly chase the alternative girl while making out with the jock. She also fell in cinta with a man twice her age, but that relationship hadn’t lasted too long. She would still get good grades, but something inside her had changed. All the negative emotions from the past years started to come out in not so healthy ways.
‘Coping with loss, coping with being unemployed, coping with sweaty feet.’ She read, annoyed oleh the stupid buku inside the universitas library. She walked further, yawning tiredly a couple of times, before turning the corner to cari the shelves on the other side. Why she had come here to cari for self-help books, no idea. Oddly, she found it kind of relaxing, just being on her own with some books. It seemed like the perfect place to be right now. She should be at the hospital, attending another meeting about the Huntington’s trial Foreman had put her in. But after hearing last night’s conversation between Dr.Cuddy and Allison, she went to the nearest bar to get wasted. This morning she had woken up with a pounding headache, still fully dressed from the night before, smelling of cigarettes and alcohol. She’d felt guilty about it, and hurt herself again. That was her way dealing with things. Why yes, she sucked at coping.
While walking among the shelves that contained buku about love, she thought about Cameron again, digging nails in the arm she’d cut barely two hours before in order to punish herself for thinking about the blonde. Biting her lip, the pain subsided and she made her way to the nearest drugstore for some Ibuprofen to relief her headache.
Meanwhile, Foreman was seated at PPTH, waiting for her to arrive. He had been membaca her file while waiting, but was getting impatient so he decided to call her. Walking over to House’s office, he noticed his former teammate, Dr. Allison Cameron sitting at the small meja tulis, meja in the corner, making calls to who knew who. Just as he was about to walk in, he got paged. He decided to call later.
The Ibuprofen started to kick in while Remy prepared herself something to eat. Her hari off was almost halfway over, but she felt like it just started. Foreman had called her two hours ago, telling her that he was waiting for her. She had pretty much ignored it. Instead taking a bath in order to let herself relax for a bit, but the conversation between Allison and the Dean kept nagging at her like mad. Taking a bite of her turkey sandwich, she flipped through the TV channels, not really caring about what was on. Deciding she should just shut it down, she grabbed the remote and pushed the big red button to quiet the TV. Sighing deeply, she went over to the dapur counter and placed her plate in the sink, not bothering cleaning it. Just as she turned to walk to the couch, she heard a knock on her door.
CHAPTER 3: Nightlife consequences and more
Slowly heading up the stairs, Allison was thinking about how to have a conversation with Thirteen. She didn’t even know how to start a conversation with that woman. It was going to be awkward, really awkward. Why she had decided she was going to go there still was a mystery, clearly her mind was playing dirty tricks on her. She was about to enter the life of the mysterious Thirteen, a woman whom she’d barely spoken to before. She had a certain halo around her that made anda self-conscious, atleast that was one of the effects she had on Allison. Sighing deeply after reaching the end of the stairs, she checked if she looked alright, counted to ten, and made herself knock on the woman’s door. Relax Al, anda can do this.
-Knock, knock-
She waited anxiously, hoping she wasn’t bothering the other woman while doing something important atau during something like showering. She would have to walk to her door wrapped in a towel, with wet hair down her shoulders. That would be just--
‘Hello…Dr.Cameron?’
Allison’s train of thought was suddenly interrupted when the female who’d just occupied her mind spoke to her.
She eyed the House fellow up and down to check if her thoughts had come true. It seemed not to be so since Thirteen was dressed in black skinny jeans, a long-sleeved black blus attributed with merah gelap, merah tua suspenders, and on her slender wrist some kind of kuno wrist band. Her hair was up in a messy bun, and her eyes were as dark lined and feline as always. She looked a bit pale, Allison noticed, but that could be explained oleh the dark clothing she was wearing. Trying to slip into professional mode, she answered the doctor with the confidence she always showed when she had to calm an aggressive patient atau their spouse down.
‘Goodday Dr.Hadley.’ Allison spoke with a steady voice, looking the younger woman in the eye. ‘Could I come in for a moment please?’
Remy had no clue on why the blonde was here, that is, until she thought back of the conversation of last night. Now, even lebih curious of Dr.Cameron’s motives on visiting her, she answered her pertanyaan with grounded hesitation.
‘Well, if anda don’t mind…I’d like to know why you’re even here at this time.’ Remy decided to display the –don’t try to mess with me- attitude, which worked most of the time to get people out of her way. But she had this feeling this wouldn’t be the case with the blonde.
‘Are anda oleh any chance ungroundedly questioning my motives Dr.Hadley?’ Allison did her best to stay professional and steady. Crossing her arms, she looked the brunette in the eye once again.
‘Well I think it’s absolutely fair for me wanting to know why anda turn up on my doorstep while you’ve never really talked to me before, atau shown any interest in having any kind of conversation with me.’ Remy said, leaning against the doorframe while looking at the blonde with her piercing eyes.
How much she was intrigued and irrevocably in cinta with her, she knew couldn’t tampil it without having to face the possible bad consequences. She saw the doctor’s expression stiffen, and felt bad about akting like such an anti-social humanbeing. Just as she was about to apologize, the blonde spoke:
‘I know it seems like I’m trying to suddenly invade your personal life, but I need to talk to anda on a professional level.’ Looking up, Allison decided it was the best to only reveal the partial truth about her surprise visit. ‘Please let me in so I can talk to you.’
‘If anda wanted to talk to me about work, anda could’ve done so at work.’ Remy said, raising her eyebrows to make her point. ‘I don’t do work talk outside work, except it’s about one of our patients we treat on the diagnostician’s team.’ Still leaning against the doorframe, Remy found it hard to restrain herself from just ciuman the woman in front of her. It’s a shame she’s here on professional grounds, atau atleast she says so…
‘I certainly wanted to talk to anda while at work, but the problem was that anda were not there this morning. I expected anda to come there atleast around noon, but since anda weren’t there, I decided to just come and visit you.’ She put a hand against the doorframe, the gesture increasing the proximity she knew Thirteen didn’t like.
‘So I was wondering why-
‘You have no right to keep track of my appearances in the hospital, Dr.Cameron! As a matter of fact, today’s my hari off, and there was no reason for me to appear inside the doors of PPTH this morning atau for the rest of this day.’ The brunette was getting highly irritated oleh the words Dr.Cameron spoke. Aparrently Cameron had already started her ‘’Mother Theresa’’ action Cuddy had assigned her. Just as she wanted to proceed her outburst, her mobile phone rang, producing the sounds of the song ‘’the kiss’’ oleh Karmina.
I know we don't belong
Everyone says it's wrong
We come from different ways
So I tried to erase everything that I felt
That I felt
But then anda kissed me and suddenly I don't care any lebih
Something in me tells me you're the one I'm looking for
But then anda kissed me and suddenly I don't care any lebih
Something in me tells me you're the one I'm looking for
From the ciuman
From the KISS
Remy felt awkward tension inside her grow to a maximum and couldn’t help but start rambling to her crush.
‘I-I need to take it anda know, probably important atau something I guess, but anda can keep standing in the doorway, anda know keep doing what you’re doing, I like it. I…
oleh this time, Allison was looking at her collegue with a very surprised expression on her face. Never could she have imagined that the enigmatic, composed brunette would start rambling to her, to anyone really. She saw the brunette staring back at her with a desperate expression before she saw her figure walking behind the glass division wall, bending slightly to pick up the phone. Allison leaned in a lebih comfortable position against the doorframe, and watched the brunette pick up the phone.
‘Remy Hadley speaking.’ Remy started scratching her arms furiously, still feeling really tensed and awkward and, let’s be honest, longing for the touch of the blonde doctor. The voice of a Neurology department employee emerged from the phone.
‘Miss Hadley, I would like to address the fact that anda haven’t shown up for trial meetings twice in a row now.’
Scratching some scabs on her arms, Remy tries to think of an excuse but is unable to do so because of the presence of a certain woman standing against the doorframe. Suddenly realising she is scratching scabs of deliberate wounds, she stops, not wanting to provoke any suspicion. She scrathes her head instead and comes up with something to say.
‘Who wants to know this?’
‘Dr.Foreman, Miss. He told me to-’
‘Dr.Foreman knows why, I don’t have to justify myself atau my actions. Goodbye.’
‘But Miss I-’
‘Goodbye.’
Closing her eyes for a brief moment to tulis herself, she drops the phone, turns around and walks back to face Allison. She sees a flash of concern striking the older woman’s face, and awkwardly scrapes her throath.
‘Dr.Cameron I’d really like anda to leave now.’ Ruffling through her hair, Remy walks back to the door to urge Cameron to get away from her apartment.
‘Just now anda berkata anda liked what I was doing. Besides, anda not tampilkan up on your maybe life-changing meetings, was what I wanted to talk about.’ The blonde spoke, and took a firm step inside Remy’s apartment and shut the door. ‘You know anda need to talk instead of screwing your life up.’ Eyeing the brunette, Allison took another step closer.
‘Let’s talk Dr.Hadley’
Not knowing what to do except surrendering, Remy finally gave in.
‘Fine, let’s talk.’
And with that Allison went to sit down on Remy’s couch, the brunette facing her while seated in a black chair, preparing herself for the conversation that was about to begin.
CHAPTER FOUR: Afternoon conversations and tears
The sound of soft raindroplets against the windows had begun to emerge from the outside, and the skye had turned a dark tone of grey. Remy had been staring to the outside and back at her knees for about three menit now. Three menit of rain and staring, a really productive conversation indeed. She hoped Cameron would be the one to break the awkward silence that was hanging between them. She liked silence in conversations, just not the awkward ones. She felt she was being stared at, and looked up to confront the blonde, who, on her turn, looked back down. It was like a game, Remy thought. Who would be the one to get caught first? Fidgeting with her watch was another thing she did instead of talking, while she was desperately waiting for Cameron to say something.
‘I saw anda last night....’ Cameron is the first one to break the silence. She looks at Thirteen with an accusing look she can’t help to tear off of her face. ‘Standing outside Cuddy’s office I mean.’ She ads when she sees the brunettes confused look.
‘You…didn’t.’ Remy looks down at her legs again, feeling a blush creeping up her neck. So Cameron saw her standing outside the office…what now?
‘Rem- Dr.Hadley’ Allison quickly covers her slip of the tongue up, and proceeds talking. ‘You can’t deny it, I asked for the attending at the nurses’s station if she had any files that had to be signed, and she told me anda just dropped the last file off. Plus, I saw anda walking out of the hospital.’
Remy feels herself glowing at Allison mentioning the first part of her first name, and almost looses herself in her imagination. ‘I….’ she is at a loss of words when she hears the blonde tell her that she knows about last night. She’s slowly loosing the ability of keeping her cool exterior because, this woman, this woman makes her feel light-headed and nervous, and fuzzy inside. Remy finds it impossible to stay calm and collected. She’s just as much a human being like anyone else, she also has hormones in her body…she’s emotional. I should just tell her…No! Why am I so impulsive?
Hadley was fighting her inner battle while the blonde opposite her, had emerged from her place on the couch, and sat selanjutnya to the brunette. Vaguely aware of the person sitting selanjutnya to her, Remy turned her head so she could meet Cameron’s.
‘I was there last night, yes.’ Remy finds herself unable to lie, and bows her head down in defeat. Stupid love, stupid me for akting like a fucking teenager, stupid her for being, for being so gorgeous and wondefull..! She looks up when she feels a small, warm hand resting on her right leg and she looks straight into Allison’s warm, green eyes.
‘I know, and I think I know what you’ve heard. I wanted to talk about what is going on with you.’ Cameron attempts to smile, but what comes out is a weak, insecure smile that can be found seldom on her face.
Remy feels tears stinging in her eyes, and hates going from her composed, controlled self to a crying, spilling her guts self in a matter of 10 minutes. Whatever happened? My life had started to get into control just a little bit, and now this!
Cameron, sensing the younger woman’s inner turmoil, shifts a little closer to her and wipes a strand of hair away from her face. ‘I know this is difficult for you, but I really think you’ll feel better after telling me. And if it makes anda feel comfortable, I’ll tell anda something about myself, how about that?’ A sympathetic smile spreads on the blondes face, and Remy can’t help but crack a smile at the sweet sight. With waterworks threatening to fall out of her eyes, she hides her face in her hands, trying to push the tears back. She now feels Allison’s warm hand on her back, which gives her a very pleasant feeling, a feeling of safety and genuine concern. Leaning into the older woman’s touch, Remy now let’s the tears fall freely, she doesn’t care if it makes her weak, all she knows is that Allison will take care of her and will make her feel better. I really need somebody, I can’t do it all on my own.
Cameron looks down at the younger doctor leaning against her, crying. She feels like she finally has gotten to Remy’s true self and closes her eyes, thinking of how to further comfort the other woman. This is going to be tough, but definitely worth it.
The End of the Beginning.There's lebih to come...
Dedicated to Aivi (Shelly) for being the most awesome and sweet Cadley-fan ever <3
Rated: T atau M (I’m not sure)
Contains: Mentioning of Self-Injury and other destructive behaviour, and of course, lesbian love. If anda have trouble with anything of the above mentioned, don’t read this content, anda are responsible for your own safety and well-being.
House.MD and all its characters belong to their rightfull owners, though I like to kidnap Remy during vacations *grin* English is not my first language, so mistakes are bound to be there. I’m not a really good writer, but I really wanted to share some (possible) Cadley love. This story is divided into four chapters, and these four chapters are part one of the whole fic.
CHAPTER 1: Revelations
It was a very dreary evening, and Remy Hadley was quickly getting ready to go halaman awal after an exhausting hari at work. Luckily it had been slightly lebih physically exhausting than mentally, because that would heal way quicker in her case. She had been working in the ER all day, tending broken fingers and nasty cuts instead of having to suffer the torture of House’s remarks. However, there had been a very different kind of suffering going on that day. The suffering of not being able to touch the person you’re so in cinta with it hurts everytime anda think about them. That’s right, Remy was in love. In cinta like she’d never ever been before.
‘Crappy idiot, I forgot to laporan that last patient to Alli- Dr.Cameron.’ Cursing herself for forgetting such a thing and almost calling Dr.Cameron oleh her first name, she hit her lockerdoor with her fist and went back to cari for the blonde.
After walking around for ten menit without having seen a glimpse of the ER-head, Remy decided to go to Cuddy and laporan the patient to her instead. Dragging her tired feet to the Dean’s office, she could hear muffled voices coming from the room. Curiosity taking the better of her, she snuck over with the cunning of Debbie the death cat, and concentrated on the words that were being said.
‘I know anda don’t want it, but with Chase gone the team really needs an addition…’
‘I can’t work with him Lisa, anda know that!’
‘Please Allison; for the sake of the hospital I need someone other than Dr.Foreman to watch House’s every move. anda now know how to handle him.’
Remy couldn’t help but try a little peek inside. She saw Cuddy wildly moving her arms while Cameron sat back in a chair, seemingly in deep thought. She was intrigued oleh the conversation, appearantly Cuddy wanted her on the team, and Cameron didn’t seem too happy about it. This was understandable, since she would be working for the man who’d partially destroyed her marriage, and had been annoying her for a big part of her carreer. If Remy had to be honest, she would cinta Cameron to enter the team again. Of course it would be difficult seeing her everyday, but atleast she got to see her, right? While she was thinking about all the possible things that could happen with her and Cameron alone in a lab at midnight, a silence fell, and Remy tried not to crumble because of the uneasy tension.
‘Okay, I’ll do it.’
Remy’s head snapped up, and her stomach began, once again, to fill with butterflies. She couldn’t believe it, Allison Cameron would be her coworker on House’s team. That meant they would be spending a lot of time together and she would be able to actually talk to her crush. She was grinning like a giddy teenage-girl, and her cheecks were a bit flustered because of joy.
‘Thank anda so much Allison, I owe you. Are there any other things you’d like to adress about your new job?’ Cuddy sat down with a smile of relief plastered on her face, watching the blonde. Cameron uncrossed her slender legs, and rubbed the back of head in order to be able to think better.
‘I’d like anda remember that, if House starts spiralling out of control, I won’t be the one taking care of him. Also, once he finds another good doctor he wants on the team, I’ll be gone.’
Cameron’s face was serious, and though she acted strong, the exhaustion began to tampil in her bodylanguage. Remy felt empathy washing over her, and she realised how terrible these last weeks must’ve been for the older doctor. She wished she could take the beautiful woman with her, and disappear to some deserted place where they could live a peacefull life enjoying doing absolutely nothing. Her musings were disturbed as she once again, heard the Dean speak.
‘I will make sure of that, anda can count on me. Now, I have one lebih thing to say.’
Remy inhaled deeply, trying to concentrate on Cuddy’s words for one lebih time. She was getting cramps in her legs from standing in a fairly undesirable position, but it was worth it.
‘You must’ve heard about Dr.Hadley and the things she does while off work… Now I’d like anda to-‘
Remy’s breath got caught in her throat and she felt anger building up in her gut. How could Cuddy discuss something like that with Cameron? Plus, she didn’t liked being talked about, especially about something as embaressing as her drinking-doing drugs-sleeping with strangers behaviour. She didn’t want her to know about that, things would become very awkward if Cameron would contfront her about it. And she had taken care of her self-destuct behaviour, she didn’t go out that often anymore, didn’t take girls home. She didn’t want anyone else but Allison.
Yes, she still wanted to fuck her life up so she could die hurting nobody and leaving no loved ones behind, but she knew that it’s not the thing one should do. Besides, she had other coping strategies than drinking, although anda couldn’t really call it coping either… Staring down at her arms, she thought about how she would even conquer that addiction for the woman she loved so much.
‘Keep an eye on her, and please warn me if anda think she’s spiralling out of control, atau if it’s affecting her work in any negative way. I think anda might be the only person she could put any trust in. I really want her to be okay, not just because of the hospital. I really think that one day, she could be a great doctor...’
Those last words Cuddy spoke, made Remy reevaluate her thoughts about the Dean. She really seemed to care about her; the Dean really cared about her employees.A trait that was fairly rare these days. She had been very grateful she hadn’t fired her the hari she had found her in an examroom hooked up on a bananabag. Still, Remy felt it wasn’t fair she talked to Cameron about this.
‘I noticed Dr.Hadley being a bit…how should I say this, unfocused for the past weeks. But I don’t think it has really affected her work in any way yet. Today she was working really hard, she was really nice to the patients and I can’t help but praise her for the dedication she’s showed today… A silence fell, and Remy started rubbing her neck to get rid of the tension.
‘There’s just something I can’t lay my finger on-
’
The brunette couldn’t help but smile at the words Allison berkata about her, but that smile quickly faded when she heard her last sentence.
‘- We had this girl coming in today, she had some really alarming cuts on her arm. And Dr.Hadley seemed not to be able to handle it…’ Cameron proceeded thoughtfully, trying to convey her feelings about the situation. The dean nodded, encouraging her to go on.
‘I’m sorry, I hate talking about co-workers like this. I think I shouldn’t proceed.’ The blonde told Cuddy abruptly, clenching her jaw and looking her straight in the eye.
Remy froze that exact moment when she heard Cameron tell Cuddy about that situation today. She had just finished stitching up a kid who had fallen from his bike, and was trying to find an opening to get some lunch, when a teenage girl had come to the ER. Being the only one available at that moment, the girl had come to her. She had showed her the cuts on her arms, while begging her to not tell this to her parents atau put it in a file. Remy had panicked, excused herself, and told a nurse to go and have Cameron treat the girl. She herself had run to the bathroom to relieve the pressure that had been building up once she’d seen the cuts on the girl’s arms. About fifteen menit later, she’d been calmed down enough to tampil herself to the world again. The girl had been taken to an examroom to give her some privacy, and Remy had signed off to go and get some lunch. If a nurse had told Cameron this, she would have been confronted, she thought.
‘I understand Dr.Cameron, but anda must realise if something like this happens again, anda have to laporan it to me, understood?’
‘Yes, Dr.Cuddy’
Remy knew it was time to pindah her pantat, keledai out of here, so she decided to just drop a message at the nurses’ station to laporan the patient. After doing so and sneaking away, she couldn’t help but cast one last glance at the office before disappearing into the New Jersey night.
Only she didn’t get away unseen. A certain blonde was standing just around the corner observing the young doctor, her eyes full of concern.
________________________________________________
CHAPTER TWO: Nightlife consequences
‘Coping.’ Remy read out loud as she walked along the stores of the Princeton Campus library.
Remy couldn’t cope with things, she never could. In elementary school she would just hide in a corner when Ryan, a blond guy with a big mouth, would bully her. She would never tell her teacher atau her parents about it, she would just suck it all up and be a quiet girl. Now that’s not really coping with it. She’d seen her mother deteriorate, hear her yell at her. She would just go to her room and draw atau read, suck it up and not cope with it. It had worked ‘till then. Junior high had been fairly uneventfull; she’d been a good student and a good girl with a handful of friends. But once she got into Highschool, things had started to turn upside down. She had discovered drinking, drugs, and how akting like a sexy rubah betina made her populer among both boys and girls. Not that she really enjoyed attention; she would just do it to fill the empty void inside of her for a bit. She would go out in the weekends, get wasted and sometimes she could get her hands on some stuff. She discovered she was into boys and girls, actually liking girls a bit better than boys. She would secretly chase the alternative girl while making out with the jock. She also fell in cinta with a man twice her age, but that relationship hadn’t lasted too long. She would still get good grades, but something inside her had changed. All the negative emotions from the past years started to come out in not so healthy ways.
‘Coping with loss, coping with being unemployed, coping with sweaty feet.’ She read, annoyed oleh the stupid buku inside the universitas library. She walked further, yawning tiredly a couple of times, before turning the corner to cari the shelves on the other side. Why she had come here to cari for self-help books, no idea. Oddly, she found it kind of relaxing, just being on her own with some books. It seemed like the perfect place to be right now. She should be at the hospital, attending another meeting about the Huntington’s trial Foreman had put her in. But after hearing last night’s conversation between Dr.Cuddy and Allison, she went to the nearest bar to get wasted. This morning she had woken up with a pounding headache, still fully dressed from the night before, smelling of cigarettes and alcohol. She’d felt guilty about it, and hurt herself again. That was her way dealing with things. Why yes, she sucked at coping.
While walking among the shelves that contained buku about love, she thought about Cameron again, digging nails in the arm she’d cut barely two hours before in order to punish herself for thinking about the blonde. Biting her lip, the pain subsided and she made her way to the nearest drugstore for some Ibuprofen to relief her headache.
Meanwhile, Foreman was seated at PPTH, waiting for her to arrive. He had been membaca her file while waiting, but was getting impatient so he decided to call her. Walking over to House’s office, he noticed his former teammate, Dr. Allison Cameron sitting at the small meja tulis, meja in the corner, making calls to who knew who. Just as he was about to walk in, he got paged. He decided to call later.
The Ibuprofen started to kick in while Remy prepared herself something to eat. Her hari off was almost halfway over, but she felt like it just started. Foreman had called her two hours ago, telling her that he was waiting for her. She had pretty much ignored it. Instead taking a bath in order to let herself relax for a bit, but the conversation between Allison and the Dean kept nagging at her like mad. Taking a bite of her turkey sandwich, she flipped through the TV channels, not really caring about what was on. Deciding she should just shut it down, she grabbed the remote and pushed the big red button to quiet the TV. Sighing deeply, she went over to the dapur counter and placed her plate in the sink, not bothering cleaning it. Just as she turned to walk to the couch, she heard a knock on her door.
CHAPTER 3: Nightlife consequences and more
Slowly heading up the stairs, Allison was thinking about how to have a conversation with Thirteen. She didn’t even know how to start a conversation with that woman. It was going to be awkward, really awkward. Why she had decided she was going to go there still was a mystery, clearly her mind was playing dirty tricks on her. She was about to enter the life of the mysterious Thirteen, a woman whom she’d barely spoken to before. She had a certain halo around her that made anda self-conscious, atleast that was one of the effects she had on Allison. Sighing deeply after reaching the end of the stairs, she checked if she looked alright, counted to ten, and made herself knock on the woman’s door. Relax Al, anda can do this.
-Knock, knock-
She waited anxiously, hoping she wasn’t bothering the other woman while doing something important atau during something like showering. She would have to walk to her door wrapped in a towel, with wet hair down her shoulders. That would be just--
‘Hello…Dr.Cameron?’
Allison’s train of thought was suddenly interrupted when the female who’d just occupied her mind spoke to her.
She eyed the House fellow up and down to check if her thoughts had come true. It seemed not to be so since Thirteen was dressed in black skinny jeans, a long-sleeved black blus attributed with merah gelap, merah tua suspenders, and on her slender wrist some kind of kuno wrist band. Her hair was up in a messy bun, and her eyes were as dark lined and feline as always. She looked a bit pale, Allison noticed, but that could be explained oleh the dark clothing she was wearing. Trying to slip into professional mode, she answered the doctor with the confidence she always showed when she had to calm an aggressive patient atau their spouse down.
‘Goodday Dr.Hadley.’ Allison spoke with a steady voice, looking the younger woman in the eye. ‘Could I come in for a moment please?’
Remy had no clue on why the blonde was here, that is, until she thought back of the conversation of last night. Now, even lebih curious of Dr.Cameron’s motives on visiting her, she answered her pertanyaan with grounded hesitation.
‘Well, if anda don’t mind…I’d like to know why you’re even here at this time.’ Remy decided to display the –don’t try to mess with me- attitude, which worked most of the time to get people out of her way. But she had this feeling this wouldn’t be the case with the blonde.
‘Are anda oleh any chance ungroundedly questioning my motives Dr.Hadley?’ Allison did her best to stay professional and steady. Crossing her arms, she looked the brunette in the eye once again.
‘Well I think it’s absolutely fair for me wanting to know why anda turn up on my doorstep while you’ve never really talked to me before, atau shown any interest in having any kind of conversation with me.’ Remy said, leaning against the doorframe while looking at the blonde with her piercing eyes.
How much she was intrigued and irrevocably in cinta with her, she knew couldn’t tampil it without having to face the possible bad consequences. She saw the doctor’s expression stiffen, and felt bad about akting like such an anti-social humanbeing. Just as she was about to apologize, the blonde spoke:
‘I know it seems like I’m trying to suddenly invade your personal life, but I need to talk to anda on a professional level.’ Looking up, Allison decided it was the best to only reveal the partial truth about her surprise visit. ‘Please let me in so I can talk to you.’
‘If anda wanted to talk to me about work, anda could’ve done so at work.’ Remy said, raising her eyebrows to make her point. ‘I don’t do work talk outside work, except it’s about one of our patients we treat on the diagnostician’s team.’ Still leaning against the doorframe, Remy found it hard to restrain herself from just ciuman the woman in front of her. It’s a shame she’s here on professional grounds, atau atleast she says so…
‘I certainly wanted to talk to anda while at work, but the problem was that anda were not there this morning. I expected anda to come there atleast around noon, but since anda weren’t there, I decided to just come and visit you.’ She put a hand against the doorframe, the gesture increasing the proximity she knew Thirteen didn’t like.
‘So I was wondering why-
‘You have no right to keep track of my appearances in the hospital, Dr.Cameron! As a matter of fact, today’s my hari off, and there was no reason for me to appear inside the doors of PPTH this morning atau for the rest of this day.’ The brunette was getting highly irritated oleh the words Dr.Cameron spoke. Aparrently Cameron had already started her ‘’Mother Theresa’’ action Cuddy had assigned her. Just as she wanted to proceed her outburst, her mobile phone rang, producing the sounds of the song ‘’the kiss’’ oleh Karmina.
I know we don't belong
Everyone says it's wrong
We come from different ways
So I tried to erase everything that I felt
That I felt
But then anda kissed me and suddenly I don't care any lebih
Something in me tells me you're the one I'm looking for
But then anda kissed me and suddenly I don't care any lebih
Something in me tells me you're the one I'm looking for
From the ciuman
From the KISS
Remy felt awkward tension inside her grow to a maximum and couldn’t help but start rambling to her crush.
‘I-I need to take it anda know, probably important atau something I guess, but anda can keep standing in the doorway, anda know keep doing what you’re doing, I like it. I…
oleh this time, Allison was looking at her collegue with a very surprised expression on her face. Never could she have imagined that the enigmatic, composed brunette would start rambling to her, to anyone really. She saw the brunette staring back at her with a desperate expression before she saw her figure walking behind the glass division wall, bending slightly to pick up the phone. Allison leaned in a lebih comfortable position against the doorframe, and watched the brunette pick up the phone.
‘Remy Hadley speaking.’ Remy started scratching her arms furiously, still feeling really tensed and awkward and, let’s be honest, longing for the touch of the blonde doctor. The voice of a Neurology department employee emerged from the phone.
‘Miss Hadley, I would like to address the fact that anda haven’t shown up for trial meetings twice in a row now.’
Scratching some scabs on her arms, Remy tries to think of an excuse but is unable to do so because of the presence of a certain woman standing against the doorframe. Suddenly realising she is scratching scabs of deliberate wounds, she stops, not wanting to provoke any suspicion. She scrathes her head instead and comes up with something to say.
‘Who wants to know this?’
‘Dr.Foreman, Miss. He told me to-’
‘Dr.Foreman knows why, I don’t have to justify myself atau my actions. Goodbye.’
‘But Miss I-’
‘Goodbye.’
Closing her eyes for a brief moment to tulis herself, she drops the phone, turns around and walks back to face Allison. She sees a flash of concern striking the older woman’s face, and awkwardly scrapes her throath.
‘Dr.Cameron I’d really like anda to leave now.’ Ruffling through her hair, Remy walks back to the door to urge Cameron to get away from her apartment.
‘Just now anda berkata anda liked what I was doing. Besides, anda not tampilkan up on your maybe life-changing meetings, was what I wanted to talk about.’ The blonde spoke, and took a firm step inside Remy’s apartment and shut the door. ‘You know anda need to talk instead of screwing your life up.’ Eyeing the brunette, Allison took another step closer.
‘Let’s talk Dr.Hadley’
Not knowing what to do except surrendering, Remy finally gave in.
‘Fine, let’s talk.’
And with that Allison went to sit down on Remy’s couch, the brunette facing her while seated in a black chair, preparing herself for the conversation that was about to begin.
CHAPTER FOUR: Afternoon conversations and tears
The sound of soft raindroplets against the windows had begun to emerge from the outside, and the skye had turned a dark tone of grey. Remy had been staring to the outside and back at her knees for about three menit now. Three menit of rain and staring, a really productive conversation indeed. She hoped Cameron would be the one to break the awkward silence that was hanging between them. She liked silence in conversations, just not the awkward ones. She felt she was being stared at, and looked up to confront the blonde, who, on her turn, looked back down. It was like a game, Remy thought. Who would be the one to get caught first? Fidgeting with her watch was another thing she did instead of talking, while she was desperately waiting for Cameron to say something.
‘I saw anda last night....’ Cameron is the first one to break the silence. She looks at Thirteen with an accusing look she can’t help to tear off of her face. ‘Standing outside Cuddy’s office I mean.’ She ads when she sees the brunettes confused look.
‘You…didn’t.’ Remy looks down at her legs again, feeling a blush creeping up her neck. So Cameron saw her standing outside the office…what now?
‘Rem- Dr.Hadley’ Allison quickly covers her slip of the tongue up, and proceeds talking. ‘You can’t deny it, I asked for the attending at the nurses’s station if she had any files that had to be signed, and she told me anda just dropped the last file off. Plus, I saw anda walking out of the hospital.’
Remy feels herself glowing at Allison mentioning the first part of her first name, and almost looses herself in her imagination. ‘I….’ she is at a loss of words when she hears the blonde tell her that she knows about last night. She’s slowly loosing the ability of keeping her cool exterior because, this woman, this woman makes her feel light-headed and nervous, and fuzzy inside. Remy finds it impossible to stay calm and collected. She’s just as much a human being like anyone else, she also has hormones in her body…she’s emotional. I should just tell her…No! Why am I so impulsive?
Hadley was fighting her inner battle while the blonde opposite her, had emerged from her place on the couch, and sat selanjutnya to the brunette. Vaguely aware of the person sitting selanjutnya to her, Remy turned her head so she could meet Cameron’s.
‘I was there last night, yes.’ Remy finds herself unable to lie, and bows her head down in defeat. Stupid love, stupid me for akting like a fucking teenager, stupid her for being, for being so gorgeous and wondefull..! She looks up when she feels a small, warm hand resting on her right leg and she looks straight into Allison’s warm, green eyes.
‘I know, and I think I know what you’ve heard. I wanted to talk about what is going on with you.’ Cameron attempts to smile, but what comes out is a weak, insecure smile that can be found seldom on her face.
Remy feels tears stinging in her eyes, and hates going from her composed, controlled self to a crying, spilling her guts self in a matter of 10 minutes. Whatever happened? My life had started to get into control just a little bit, and now this!
Cameron, sensing the younger woman’s inner turmoil, shifts a little closer to her and wipes a strand of hair away from her face. ‘I know this is difficult for you, but I really think you’ll feel better after telling me. And if it makes anda feel comfortable, I’ll tell anda something about myself, how about that?’ A sympathetic smile spreads on the blondes face, and Remy can’t help but crack a smile at the sweet sight. With waterworks threatening to fall out of her eyes, she hides her face in her hands, trying to push the tears back. She now feels Allison’s warm hand on her back, which gives her a very pleasant feeling, a feeling of safety and genuine concern. Leaning into the older woman’s touch, Remy now let’s the tears fall freely, she doesn’t care if it makes her weak, all she knows is that Allison will take care of her and will make her feel better. I really need somebody, I can’t do it all on my own.
Cameron looks down at the younger doctor leaning against her, crying. She feels like she finally has gotten to Remy’s true self and closes her eyes, thinking of how to further comfort the other woman. This is going to be tough, but definitely worth it.
The End of the Beginning.There's lebih to come...