So as anda all know, I grew up in America, Las Vegas to be exact, and then I moved back to my halaman awal nation, Australia. And during primary school, no-one was particularly curious, but high school is a whole different story. Below are some stupid pertanyaan I got and my reactions:
1. Were anda born in America?
(No, motherfucker.)
2. Were your parents from America atau something?
(Yeah, of course, they're definitely not Asian, I was adopted. /sarcasm.)
3. So, like, how many pairs of shoes did anda buy from New York?
(I've never been to motherfucking New York in my life.)
4. So like, are anda from the 'hood'?
(I have a 'hood'. *points at hoodie*)
5. Did anda used to have a big locker?
(*bitch-slap* What part of elementary school do anda not understand?)
6. Did anda wear mufti every day?
(>[)
7. Say tomato.
(How about no?)
8. Say herbs.
(Herbs?)
Proper Americans say 'errrrrrrbs.
(*slaps in face* Proper bitches get bitch-slapped.)
9. *asks acak pertanyaan about American History*
(*ignores coz didn't get to learn much about American history*)
And the stupidest pertanyaan of them all:
10. Why did anda leave America? I mean, it seems so totally awesome! Why would anda ever leave? I would stay there like forever.
(Two syllables: par-ents. Just coz it's a free country, doesn't mean I'm independent enough to go without my parents. I cinta my mommy... coz she fucked my dad.)
atau alternatively:
(My mom got raped in a parking lot and I joined a gang to learn how to rape too so I could rape the rapist back. Want a demo? *sticks finger inside nearest person's belly button*)
1. Were anda born in America?
(No, motherfucker.)
2. Were your parents from America atau something?
(Yeah, of course, they're definitely not Asian, I was adopted. /sarcasm.)
3. So, like, how many pairs of shoes did anda buy from New York?
(I've never been to motherfucking New York in my life.)
4. So like, are anda from the 'hood'?
(I have a 'hood'. *points at hoodie*)
5. Did anda used to have a big locker?
(*bitch-slap* What part of elementary school do anda not understand?)
6. Did anda wear mufti every day?
(>[)
7. Say tomato.
(How about no?)
8. Say herbs.
(Herbs?)
Proper Americans say 'errrrrrrbs.
(*slaps in face* Proper bitches get bitch-slapped.)
9. *asks acak pertanyaan about American History*
(*ignores coz didn't get to learn much about American history*)
And the stupidest pertanyaan of them all:
10. Why did anda leave America? I mean, it seems so totally awesome! Why would anda ever leave? I would stay there like forever.
(Two syllables: par-ents. Just coz it's a free country, doesn't mean I'm independent enough to go without my parents. I cinta my mommy... coz she fucked my dad.)
atau alternatively:
(My mom got raped in a parking lot and I joined a gang to learn how to rape too so I could rape the rapist back. Want a demo? *sticks finger inside nearest person's belly button*)