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posted by ultimatefredde
1. Guys for gods sake, dont pretend being something anda aren´t girls have a sixth sense we don´t have and find out sooner atau later

2. Dance!

3.Flirt, they aren´t the only ones who should do this.

4.Tell her what anda really enjoy in life

5.Help them out when needed.

6.Avoid playing those "Gay games" with your pals, it´s just not right

7.avoid grabbing your "parts" on public. Really.

8.Be original, with gifts, don´t just give flowers, atau take her to dinner, also sometimes a card atau a simple walk in the park is good to try

9.Be romantic and take shyness away

10. Express your feelings, anda wont die...
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posted by merlinfanatic
Welcome to The Weakest Link.

Here is a very simple little test comprised of four pertanyaan to determine the level of your intellect.
Your balasa must be spontaneous and immediate, with no deliberating atau wasting time.
And NO CHEATING. On your mark, set....GO!!!

1: anda are competing in a race, and overtake the runner in detik place.
In which position are anda now?

Answer:
If anda answered that you're now coming first then you're completely wrong. anda overtook the detik runner and took their place, therefore you're coming second.

For the selanjutnya pertanyaan try not to be so dumb.
2 : If anda overtake the last...
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posted by JonasLuver1
Why Guys cinta Girls:

1. The way they always smell good even if it’s just shampoo
2. The way they always find the right spot on our shoulder
3. How cute they look when they sleep
4. The ease in which they fit into our ams
5. The way they ciuman anda ad make everything alright in the world
6. How cute they are when they eat
7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the it’s all worthwhile
8. The way they are always warm even if it’s minus 30 degrees
9. The way the look good no matter what they wear
10. The way she fished for compliments even though anda both know she’s the most beautiful...
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posted by ilovetech29
1."My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him."
2."Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick, and I had her shot."
3."Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33."
4."Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating."
5."Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a pohon and misplaced his hip."
6."John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face."
7."Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part."
8."Megan...
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Just membaca some of the terminator kutipan through again... and actually found a hint on what happened between Arnold and the maid. Enjoy my version!


Maid: Nice night for a walk, eh?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nice night for a walk.
Maid #2: Wash hari tomorrow? Nothing clean, right?
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Nothing clean. Right.
Maid: Hey, I think this guy's a couple cans short of a six-pack.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Your clothes... give them to me, now.
Maid: Fuck you, asshole!
Arnold nods.


I know there are a lot of people making fun of Arnold Schwarzenegger since he admitted to his wife that he's not only a cheater but a liar as well. anda might get annoyed oleh it and think "Oh poor Arnie". But honestly? This guy just ASKED for it. It takes a big jerk to have a child with another woman, an even bigger one to keep it a secret for 14 years and the biggest one to only reveal it to his wife after he quit his job so there'd be no damage to his position.
posted by lloonny
1. Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
2. Some people wear superman pajamas. superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas
3. Chuck Norris will never have a jantung attack. His jantung isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
4. If at first anda don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
5. Chuck Norris can set ants on api with a magnifying glass. At night.
6. Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
7. Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
8. They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
9....
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INT. A SHOPPING MALL WE'VE USED BEFORE - DAY.

The mall. Teenage girls bury their heads in piles of clothes and giggle. A Sale Sign goes up and they scream. Mothers drag kids oleh their heels. As the people pass by, they glance uncomfortably at something off-screen then hurry along. The children point, faces uncomprehending.

Pan over to find ZIM and gir in a dark corner, near a waste receptacle, dressed as clowns. ZIM just stares out evilly at the passing people. gir simply stares, holding balloons.

ZIM (to GIR)
Look at them, GIR. THEY think we are clowns. But we are not clowns.

GIR gasps in shock....
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posted by KateKicksAss
 This is your new mascot. All hail the bunny!
This is your new mascot. All hail the bunny!
Of course, if anda are TRULY random, anda shouldn't even need a guide, O_O

Randomness, randomosity, randomology, whatever anda may call it, is using improvisation to create original humorous phrases atau monologues atau pine cones on the spot. 'Randomosity' is fun to express in the presence of friends atau logging companies, but can quickly become extremely obnoxious. Have fun with your randomness, don't force it. Remember, if anda got it, Flaunt it!

Steps

1. Break free of conventional rules. Finishing your sentences is not mandatory, merely optional and anda can do it on Tuesdays but not on Wednesdays...
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posted by invadercalliope
When anda turn around, who is that behind you?
Bury your claws in the darkness and shred the night
The raindrops turn to drops of blood and trickle down your cheek
If anda have no place to return to
Stop on this finger, on this finger of mine
Where the evening cicadas cry in the forbidden forest
anda cannot turn back anymore

__________________________________________________

furimuita sono ushiro no sorewa dare
kurayami ni tsume wo tatete yoru wo hikisaita
amadare wa chi no shizuku to natte hoho wo tsutaiochiru
mou dekonimo kaeru basho ga nainara
kono yubi tomare watashi no yubi ni
sono yubi goto tsuretetteageru
higurashi ga naku akazu no mori de
atomodori wa mou dekinai
"An old woman haunted me!"

One night my and oleh brothers and I were sleeping up stairs while my mom was downstairs reading. I was lying in tempat tidur and heard this light stomping sound. Then the stomping sound got a little heavier. Soon, it became so loud that my brothers and I all came out of our room because we were scared. My mom had heard it too and she thought it was one of us playing a joke, but it wasn't - we were all in bed! We had no idea what to make of it and were really freaked out. But then, things got creepier....

"We found her stuff in the attic, her name was Tamara!"

I went over to...
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(CREATED oleh RAE RI, NOT ME)

Chuck Norris can make onions cry.


Chuck Norris can hapus the Recycling Bin.


Ghosts are actually caused oleh Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.


Chuck Norris can strangle anda with a cordless phone.


Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.


Chuck Norris once had a jantung attack; his jantung lost.


Chuck Norris doesn't turn the light on; he turns the dark off.


The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.


Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.


When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror, the mirror shatters; not even a mirror is stupid enough to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.


Chuck Norris's tears can cure aids, too bad he never cries. (silvaze9)
posted by yoshifan1976
Doctor Mario was in his office when suddenly there was an urgent phone call. It was Daisy. "Mario, come quick. Luigi's very sick." "I'll be there right now, Daisy", Mario told her. Nurse persik was very concerned. "What's wrong, Mario?" "Luigi's sick", he answered with worry. "Go", persik told him kindly. "I can take care of things here." "Thanks, Peach". He gave her a ciuman and then rode over to Luigi and Daisy's house. bunga aster, daisy hugged Mario and led him upstairs. "Hey little brother", he smiled at Luigi. Luigi smiled back. He loves his big brother Mario. No one understood the brotherly bond between...
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added by loonybug
Source: tumblr
No, I seriously hate it whenever I hear kids talk about disney and celebrities, they say crap like "OMG Justin Bieber is awesome!" "The Jonas Brothers are having a new movie!" "Have anda watched Shake it up? It's the best thing disney has made!"
It sickens me that parents allow their kids to watch & listen to the mediocre shit disney Channel produces now rather than to have them watch & listen to some REAL disney & music. Even the trash film like Prom, John Carter, Mars Needs Moms, and some of the disney direct-to-video sequels are better than the crap disney Channel has to offer....
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posted by hetalianstella
This is in no particular order.

- I hate how people automatically assume anda are Chinese just because you're Asian, atau automatically assume anda are Mexican just because anda are Hispanic.

- How people always say they COULD care less when they COULDN'T care less!

- When people use an elevator.....for one floor!

- Perverts....I mean, I don't hate perverts. Some of my best friends are perverts. But I'm not a pervert, so don't act like a pervert around me. Anywhere else is fine, but please respect my asexuality.

- When people overuse lol.
Especially when there is nothing funny!
Same with OMG. I...
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It was a peaceful, King Dedede-free morning in Pop Star. Birds chirped. Bunnies hopped around. All of the folks are playing merrily, and then there's... Kirby, who was flying in his Warp bintang for the reason of feeling the breeze through his light, berwarna merah muda, merah muda skin. Normally, he'd use the Warp bintang as a mode of transportation, but today was the day.

Kirby: [singing] I believe I can fly,
I believe I can touch the sky,
Here in Pop bintang I can fly so high.
On my Warp Star, won't it make me cry...

Unfortunately, Kirby had happened to fly too far, in fact, TOO far that he went off bounds from Pop bintang and flew...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Song: link

Narrator: Sugar. Spice, and everything nice. These were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect little girls, but Professor Utonium accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction. Chemical X!
Professor: *Gets moved backwards oleh an explosion, but smiles when he sees what he created*
Narrator: Thus the Powerpuff Girls were born! Using their ultra super powers, Blossom, Bubbles, and Buttercup have dedicated their lives to fighting crime, and the forces of evil.
Blossom: *Flies through the sky*
Bubbles: *Flying to the right of Blossom*
Buttercup: *Flying to the left of...
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 Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see. *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see.
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see. *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see.


It was a typical hari in New York City. People were walking down the sidewalks, and cars crowded the streets, but in front of a coffee shop, a man was sitting, while typing on his laptop.

SeanTheHedgehog's

Person 94: *Typing on his laptop inside the coffee shop*
Background People: *Drinking coffee, and eating donuts*

SeanTheHedgehog's
Wonderful World

Taxi Driver: *Going over 60, passing several other cars*
Man 89: *Hugging his suitcase* Do all taxi drivers drive like this in the city?
Taxi Driver:...
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1:
Out of all of the Stranger missions, the happiest one has anda reunite a zoophile with his favorit horse. Almost all of them are grim and depressing, and when anda do the "right" thing, anda often end up making people's lives worse. anda give Jenny some medicine but she doesn't go with anda to town, is left wondering around forever. The guy who anda helped make his flying mechine only ends up dying. And Sam slowly loses his mind in his journey to California.


#2:
Birth of the Conservation Movement. You've just killed all but one of the peaceful Sasquatch, and the last one is distraught and begging...
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added by TheLefteris24