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50 Fun things to do in a Grocery Store

1. Ask the produce manager if he happens to have any fresh Oompah Loompah fruit.

2. While holding a cantaloupe directly in front of your chest, squeeze it and smile dreamily.

3. Every time anda turn the corner with your shopping cart, shout “Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!”

4. Go up to the manager and tell him atau her that you’ve lost your mommy.

5. While waiting in line at the checkout, juggle some lemons.

6. Tiptoe stealthily up and down the aisles – and around corners – with a magnifying glass.

7. While scratching frantically, ask the manager if he atau she has anything for body lice.

8. After visiting the bakery section, go up and down the aisles exclaiming, “My buns are squishy!”

9. While arguing with an invisible friend, anda proceed to play tug-of-war over an item.

10. Hold your nose while standing in line at the meat department.

11. Ask the deli clerk how much potato salad it would take for two people to comfortably wrestle in.

12. Fake cell phone conversation: “Doctor, I couldn’t possibly have malaria. That was weeks ago!”

13. Start doing a river dance in front of the corned beef.

14. Tell the checkout cashier that anda have to hurry, atau your spaceship will leave without you.

15. Tell the checkout bagger that anda knew him in a former life, and ask why he left without a note.

16. Ask someone if they saw your picture in the post office and remark that it was one of your best.

17. On a hot summer day, ask the manager if someone can help anda clean the snow from your car.

18. Tell a customer that you’re from the future and have just zapped back for an historic vacation.

19. Walk around holding a copy of the Scarlet Letter while sporting a big red “A”.

20. Ask a clerk if anda can test several types of deodorant before making a decision to buy one.

21. Using a stethoscope, listen intently to several coconuts in the produce aisle.

22. Tell one of the lobsters that you’ve brought the potion to turn him back into a man.

23. Run up to the fresh vegetables in the produce aisle and yell, “Boo!”

24. Play peek-a-boo with a little old lady while waiting in the checkout line.

25. When the clerk in the deli asks for your order, mime it.

26. Walk around smoking an invisible cigarette – and get great satisfaction from it.

27. Pretend to cook a meal using the pots and pans in the housewares aisle.

28. Bring a concealed whoopie cushion with anda and activate it every couple of minutes.

29. Ask if anyone has seen your pet snake – he was just in your pocket a menit ago.

30. While waiting in the deli line, pretend to read an invisible book – be sure to turn the pages.

31. Hold up a can of bug spray and ask someone what type of cracker would go best with it.

32. Shout out, “OK, who squeezed my melons?!”

33. If anda see someone offering samples, keep circling like a hiu and snatch snacks at each pass.

34. Invite other customers to gabung anda in a game of limbo using a pepperoni stick.

35. Go up to a dead ikan on ice, sob and say, “We were supposed to be married on Saturday!”

36. In the middle of one of the aisles, scream, “Food fight!”

37. Stand in front of the ice cream freezer, look intently at it, and scream intermittently.

38. Squirm around a lot and shout, “Quick – where’s the hemorrhoid cream?”

39. Pick up bananas at random; act as though you’re on the phone and say, “Sorry, wrong number!”

40. Point accusingly at one of the cucumbers and say, “I thought I told anda to wait in the car!”

41. Holding a flea collar, ask a clerk how anda get the flea to hold still so that anda can put it on him.

42. Look for someone holding a jar of honey, and then explain that this is actually bee vomit.

43. Every time anda pass a particular type of meat, imitate the sound of the animal.

44. Walk down the aisles like a turkey, while opening your eyes as wide as physically possible.

45. As anda pass the lettuce, turn toward it, fold your arms and say, “You’re out of your head!”

46. Pick up a jar of pickled pig’s feet and – in a distraught voice – say, “Oh, no! It’s Babe!”

47. As anda pass people in the aisles, look startled and run in the opposite direction.

48. Bring a ventriloquist dummy and argue about what to buy for makan malam as anda go through the store.

49. Tell the produce clerk that the bananas are fighting again, and that they’re all getting bruised.

50. Tell the manager to call for a clean-up in the laxative aisle.
added by TDIlover226
Source: Various websites
added by Cliff040479
Source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/77371316@N00/72816738/
added by EminemAddict09
Source: my awesomeness
posted by Bluekait
An expert farmer is outstanding in her field.

An incompetent ship captain grounds the warship he walks on.

Camels live in Camelfornia.

Cannibals like to meat people.

Hands are like bells, especially when they're wrung.

How about the beruang that was hit oleh an 18-wheeler and splattered all over the place? They berkata it was a grizzly accident.

How about the man who ran through a screen door? He strained himself.

If life is like a bowl of cherries, what's the kismis for living?

In some places fog will never be mist.

Once upon a time, a tribe of cannibals caught a saint sent to them as a missionary...
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posted by nmdis
"Solo"


You speak to me
And in your words I hear a melody
But in the twilight it's so hard to see
What's wrong for me

I can't resist
Until anda give the truth a little twist
As if you're gonna get away with this
You're not sorry

I can't believe I fell for this

I fell through the hole
Down at the bottom of your soul
Didn't think anda could go
So low
Look at what you've done
You're losing me
Here's what you've won
Got me planning to go
Solo
Solo

anda sing to me
Too bad anda couldn't even stay on key
If your life is such a mystery
Why don't anda stick to acting?

Here anda go again...
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posted by nmdis
"Piercing"


Living in fear
Is not what anda had
In mind for me
But holding to you
Is so hard
I cling to what I see

In a world where my emotions
Seem to rule my every move
They will challenge my devotion
To seek and know the truth

You're piercing me
This self will bleed
You're killing all
Of my securities
Lord, help me see the reality
That all I'll ever need is You

Here in this haze a distant light
Seems to draw me near
But in the shadow of my doubt
My faith just disappears

In a world where my emotions
Seem to rule my every move
They will challenge my devotion
To seek and know the truth

You're...
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posted by nmdis
IceCold
She fell in cinta with a dope boy
Black diamonds on the neck of that dope boy
Big body Benz for that dope boy
Love every tattoo on that dope boy
She sheds tears for that dope boy
Shit, it is what it is for that dope boy
Handle minor biz for that dope boy
But the reward is major, so on and so forth
She can tell anda oleh the Greyhound
She can tampil anda how to stay down
I can tell anda 'bout to break down
VS1's all in my menggerutu, jalang watch face now
Straight G's for your low esteem
A.P's for the whole team
As I run away from my obituary
Walking in the shit that'll get anda buried
Miami's mine like I'm Pat Riley
Baselines...
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posted by nmdis
Come and Get it
[chorus]
When you're ready come and get it (x2)
Na na na (x3)

When you're re-e-a-dy (x2)

When you're ready come and get it
Na na na (x3)

You ain’t gotta worry it’s an open invitation
I’ll be sittin’ right here real patient
All hari all night I’ll be waitin’ standby
Can’t stop because I cinta it, hate the way I cinta you
All hari all night maybe I’m addicted for life, no lie.
I’m not too shy to tampil I cinta you, I got no regrets.
I cinta anda much to, much to hide you, this cinta ain’t finished yet. This cinta ain’t finished yet…
So baby whenever you’re ready…

[chorus]
When...
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Chapter One: Salvador

Silver Monroe skipped up the stone steps to Westover High School. Silver could have easily gotten almost any boy she wanted; only she had yet to find the one meant for her. She walked swiftly down the long hallways to her first class; math.

After about ten menit the boy sitting behind her raised his hand, asking for water. Silver had been in mostly the same classes as him almost the entire tahun and she had never heard him talk before. She had never really even noticed him before. He had long, blonde hair that was almost white and black eyes. The teacher, Mrs. Taylor dismissed...
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June 17th 100,000,000 BC 12 O'clock at night
Four children are born, quadruplets, the youngest born at the strike of midnight. The first child is named Queverial, the detik Ceelarion, the third Ierailiasha, and the last one is named Mist. The father decides the last child should have a complex name as the others do but the mother has made up her mind that Mist is the perfect name.
Then she sends them through the mirror of fate to find there destiny and they may never return if they do not find it in time.

January 21st 90,000,000 BC 3:30 P.M.
The children grow up living in the chosen lands...
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Just a few things before the story; one, if there's something anda don't like about it, please tell me! I want it to be as good as it can be. ^-^ Just please tell me in a respectful way, please. I would appreciate that. Thank you.
Also, this story will be a little (well, lebih than a little) bloody and violent, and there may be some cussing later on. Just a warning.
That being said, I hope anda like it!
_____________________________________________

Gnarled branches. Green leaves grew from them—green leaves spotted with yellows and reds. They rustled dryly, talking of the upcoming season of autumn....
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(Jade’s POV)

“John…I’m bored” I whined to my friend in the other room. “Well i’m sorry Jade, but i don’t know what do do about that” John berkata walking in with a bowl of jagung meletus, popcorn he popped himself. “What about Rose and Dave?” I asked sneaking some jagung meletus, popcorn away from the bowl. “What about them?” Dave asked sitting the bowl on the coffee meja in the middle of the room. “Can we invite them over? And can anda change out of the girl’s uniform?” I asked. He cheeks grew pink, “It’s comfortable.” “Oh John, anda little boy” I berkata ruffling his hair up. “Fine Jade,...
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posted by Bluekait
There are some things about Justin Bieber, this "role model" for kids, that anda may not know. Sorry to any of the Beliebers out there.

He's attacked and screamed obscenities at photographers. [1] He says rape happens for a reason. [2] He wrote in the guest book at Anne Frank's house that he "wishes she was a Belieber." [3] When he was asked to try being vegan, he spit out the vegan daging panggang, steak that was specially prepared for him and made gagging sounds. [4] He peed in a restaurant kitchen. [5] He's frequently late to his own concerts. [6] He's been kicked out and banned from places for throwing temper...
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Now, there's no denying that Dani is pretty adorable. She's playful and immature, just like a little girl should be, as anda can see from the scene where she comes out of the closet and scares Max. She has the spirit of a cute little girl, as she loves trick-or-treating.

However, after the first few menit of screen time she has, her character started going downhill for me. She screams for her mother at the puncak, atas of her lungs when Max refuses to take her trick-or-treating, which makes me think she's spoiled. She's akting all tough and brave against jay and Ernie "Ice", but ends up doing this...
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posted by justinfangrrl
Hello, and Welcome to my article; in this artikel I will tell anda about the environment, what's happening now, what will happen VERY soon if we continue to pollute the earth and what we can do to stop it.

I will also tell anda about the Idle no more movement and the First Nations who are leading it; it's trying to save the environment, like me.

So read and enjoy; perhaps I shall educate anda in a good way.

Everything in this artikel is true and based on Scientific, religious and environmental research and up to tanggal facts.

***

Remember when the whole 2012 thing happened? Yeah, that was funny... Here...
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We all know what rednecks in 'Murica do best, partying, drinking and being stupid as fuck, but this might surprise you.

Sources close to the death investigation say it's likely Shain died from carbon monoxide poisoning.

"Buckwild" bintang Shain Gandee was found dead in a vehicle in West Virginia this morning ... 31 hours after the 21-year-old mtv reality bintang had been reported missing, this according to law enforcement.

According to officials, Gandee, his 48-year-old uncle David Gandee, and a third unidentified body were discovered dead in the vehicle in Sissonville, West Virginia. There was no sign...
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It's best if anda say your opinion

Xbox 360 atau ps3? (Xbox)

Twilight atau Harry Potter? (duh Harry Potter)

Is metal good music? (Of course it is!)

What do anda think of Justin Beiber? atau One Direction? or... um... The Jonas Brothers? (They all suck)

nintendo atau Sega? (Niiiinnteendooo)

Should gays have rights? (NEVER!)

Should cannabis be legalized? (No Doubt)

Should America have better gun control? (yes)

Should binatang have rights? (yep)

Halo atau COD? (Halo)

Is pokemon childish? (no)

facebook atau twitter? (Facebook)


AND NOW THE ULTIMATE WAY TO START ARGUMENTS ONLINE:

bintang wars atau trek which is better? (STAR WARS!)
posted by Nein-Nein
The Flying Dutchman is a legendary ghost ship that can never make port, doomed to sail the oceans forever. It probably originates from 17th-century nautical folklore. The oldest extant version dates to the late 18th century.
Sightings in the 19th and 20th centuries reported the ship to be glowing with ghostly light. If hailed oleh another ship, the crew of the Flying Dutchman will try to send messages to land, atau to people long dead. In ocean lore, the sight of this phantom ship is a portent of doom
The ship was sailing around the Cape of Good Hope (the southern tip of Africa) when it encountered...
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posted by Nein-Nein
 Reszo Seress, who wrote Gloomy Sunday
Reszo Seress, who wrote Gloomy Sunday
In December, 1932, a down and out Hungarian named Reszo Seress was trying to make a living as a songwriter in Paris, but kept failing miserably. All of his compositions failed to impress the musik publishers of France, but Seress carried on chasing his dream nevertheless. He was determined to become an internationally famous songwriter. His girlfriend had constant rows with him over the insecurity of his ambitious life. She urged him to get a full-time 9 to 5 job, but Seress was uncompromising. He told her he was to be a songwriter atau a hobo, and that was that.

One afternoon, things finally...
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posted by fanizzle
My fuckin Little pony be a funky-ass brand of plastic ponies produced since 1983 oleh tha toy manufacturer Hasbro. Marketed primarily ta hoes, tha ponies feature colorful bodies n' manes n' a unique symbol on one and both sidez of they flanks, referred ta up in tha two most baru saja generations as "cutie marks". My fuckin lil pony was again revamped up in tha mid-2000z wit freshly smoked up n' mo' modern looks ta appeal ta a whole freshly smoked up market.
Followin tha original gangsta My fuckin Pretty pony toy, introduced up in 1981, My fuckin Little pony was launched up in 1983 n' tha line became ghettofab durin tha 1980s. Da original gangsta toy line ran from 1983 ta 1995 (1992 up in tha US), n' inspired animated specials, a animated feature length film n' three animated televizzle series.
Da toy line had a lata release up in Japan, oleh Takara up in tha '80s durin Generation 1, n' oleh Takara Tomy up in 2006 fo' a period of time.