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posted by Jeffersonian
A teacher forwarded this daftar of komentar from test papers, essays, etc., diserahkan to science and health teachers oleh elementary, junior high, high school, and college students. As she noted, It is truly astonishing what weird science our young scholars can create under the pressures of time and grades.

The body consists of three parts - the branium, the borax, and the abominable cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the jantung and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five - a, e, i, o, and u.
Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state.
H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.
To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.
When anda smell an oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.

Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.
Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars.
Blood flows down one leg and up the other.
Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration.
The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader.

Artifical insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull.
Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.
A super saturated solution is one that holds lebih than it can hold.
Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
The pistol of a bunga is its only protections agenst insects.

The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to.
A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors.
The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the lebih extinct it is.
Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa.

Germinate: To become a naturalized German.
Liter: A nest of young puppies.
Magnet: Something anda find crawling all over a dead cat.
Momentum: What anda give a person when they are going away.
Planet: A body of Earth surrounded oleh sky.

Rhubarb: A kind of seledri gone bloodshot.
Vacuum: A large, empty luar angkasa where the pope lives.
Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative atau negative.
To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.
For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower than the body until the jantung stops.

For dog bite: put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it.
For head cold: use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat.
To keep susu from turning sour: Keep it in the cow.
For fainting: Rub the person's chest, or, if a lady, rub her arm above the hand instead. atau put the head between the knees of the nearest medical doctor.
To prevent contraception, use a condominium.


And Now, Even lebih Weirdness!
These are supposedly actual jawaban diberikan on High School Science Tests:

Many dead binatang of the past changed to fossils while others preferred to be oil.
All binatang were here before mankind. The binatang lived peacefully until mankind came along and made roads, houses, hotels and condoms.
Men are mammals and women are femammals.
Proteins are composed of a mean old acid.
The largest mammals are to be found in the sea because there is nowhere else to put them.

Involuntary muscles are not as willing as voluntary ones.
Methane, a greenhouse gas, comes from the burning of trees and cows.
The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the puncak, atas and anda sit on the bottom.
Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
Some people say we condescended from the apes.

The leopard has black spots which look like round soars on its body. Those who catch soars get leprosy.
The three cavities of the body are the head cavity, the tooth cavity and the abominable cavity.
Most buku say the sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into the sun in the daytime.
Cadavers are dead bodies that have donated themselves to science. This procedure is called gross anatomy.
A liter is a nest of young baby animals.

The earth makes a resolution every 24 hours.
Parallel lines never meet unless anda bend one atau both of them.
Algebra was the wife of Euclid.
A lingkaran is a figure with 0 corners and only one side.
A right angle is 90 degrees Farenhight.

Genetics explains why anda look like your father and if anda don't, why anda should.
A supersaturated solution is one that holds lebih than it can hold.
The pistol of a bunga is its only protection against insects.
An example of animal breeding is the farmer who mated a banteng that gave a great deal of susu with a banteng with good meat.
If conditions are not favorable, bacteria go into a period of adolescence.

When oxygen is combined with anything, heat is diberikan off. This is known as constipation.
As the rain forests in the amazon are shrinking, so are the Indians.
anda can listen to thunder after lightning and tell how close anda came to getting hit. If anda don't hear it, anda got hit so never mind.
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posted by kitkat709477
No one fails a class anymore, he's merely "passing impaired."

You don't have detention, you're just one of the"exit delayed."

Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive."

These days, a student isn't lazy. He's "energetically declined."

Your locker isn't overflowing with junk, it's just "closure prohibitive."

Kids don't get grounded anymore. They merely hit "social speed bumps."

Your homework isn't missing, its just having an "out-of-notebook experience."

You're not sleeping in class, you're "rationing consciousness."

You're not late, anda just have a "rescheduled arrival time."

You're...
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1. meet barney

2. rob a bank while your still cute

3. write a threatening letter to the president

4. egg barneys house because he skipped last weeks show

5. slide down the big slide!

6. get revenge on the bebek floaty that nearly drowned you

7. be bigger than big brother

8.drink a beer

9. when drunk find bob the builder and tell him what i really think!

10. win the lottery, and wave the money in mommy and daddy's face because apparently "I'm to younge to get an allowance"

11. get over that vacum cleaner fear

12. win at tug o war with the doggy

13. hold the senator hostage in an elabrate murder plot where...
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posted by werewolflover
I'm in something called Honors Club at school.Each tahun we go on a trip,this tahun to St.Louis.We left Thursday,April 29th 2010.
The ride took like six hours.The reason it took so long,was because one of the bus's air conditioning messed up,and we had to sit at a gas station for an hour.
We finally got up there and went to Nascar Speed Park.It was awesome.We got to ride go-carts and I won the race.Then,it was time for dinner.We ate hotdogs.And word of advice,if anda ever go there DO NOT EAT THEM!!!!They are NASTY.Then,I went to a gift toko and got a asam powder stic.I got some tokens,and used them...
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