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posted by Jeffersonian
A teacher forwarded this daftar of komentar from test papers, essays, etc., diserahkan to science and health teachers oleh elementary, junior high, high school, and college students. As she noted, It is truly astonishing what weird science our young scholars can create under the pressures of time and grades.

The body consists of three parts - the branium, the borax, and the abominable cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the jantung and lungs, and the abominable cavity contains the bowels, of which there are five - a, e, i, o, and u.
Nitrogen is not found in Ireland because it is not found in a free state.
H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.
To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.
When anda smell an oderless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.

Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.
Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars.
Blood flows down one leg and up the other.
Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration.
The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader.

Artifical insemination is when the farmer does it to the cow instead of the bull.
Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.
A super saturated solution is one that holds lebih than it can hold.
Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
The pistol of a bunga is its only protections agenst insects.

The skeleton is what is left after the insides have been taken out and the outsides have been taken off. The purpose of the skeleton is something to hitch meat to.
A permanent set of teeth consists of eight canines, eight cuspids, two molars, and eight cuspidors.
The tides are a fight between the Earth and moon. All water tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
A fossil is an extinct animal. The older it is, the lebih extinct it is.
Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa.

Germinate: To become a naturalized German.
Liter: A nest of young puppies.
Magnet: Something anda find crawling all over a dead cat.
Momentum: What anda give a person when they are going away.
Planet: A body of Earth surrounded oleh sky.

Rhubarb: A kind of seledri gone bloodshot.
Vacuum: A large, empty luar angkasa where the pope lives.
Before giving a blood transfusion, find out if the blood is affirmative atau negative.
To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.
For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower than the body until the jantung stops.

For dog bite: put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it.
For head cold: use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat.
To keep susu from turning sour: Keep it in the cow.
For fainting: Rub the person's chest, or, if a lady, rub her arm above the hand instead. atau put the head between the knees of the nearest medical doctor.
To prevent contraception, use a condominium.


And Now, Even lebih Weirdness!
These are supposedly actual jawaban diberikan on High School Science Tests:

Many dead binatang of the past changed to fossils while others preferred to be oil.
All binatang were here before mankind. The binatang lived peacefully until mankind came along and made roads, houses, hotels and condoms.
Men are mammals and women are femammals.
Proteins are composed of a mean old acid.
The largest mammals are to be found in the sea because there is nowhere else to put them.

Involuntary muscles are not as willing as voluntary ones.
Methane, a greenhouse gas, comes from the burning of trees and cows.
The spinal column is a long bunch of bones. The head sits on the puncak, atas and anda sit on the bottom.
Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
Some people say we condescended from the apes.

The leopard has black spots which look like round soars on its body. Those who catch soars get leprosy.
The three cavities of the body are the head cavity, the tooth cavity and the abominable cavity.
Most buku say the sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into the sun in the daytime.
Cadavers are dead bodies that have donated themselves to science. This procedure is called gross anatomy.
A liter is a nest of young baby animals.

The earth makes a resolution every 24 hours.
Parallel lines never meet unless anda bend one atau both of them.
Algebra was the wife of Euclid.
A lingkaran is a figure with 0 corners and only one side.
A right angle is 90 degrees Farenhight.

Genetics explains why anda look like your father and if anda don't, why anda should.
A supersaturated solution is one that holds lebih than it can hold.
The pistol of a bunga is its only protection against insects.
An example of animal breeding is the farmer who mated a banteng that gave a great deal of susu with a banteng with good meat.
If conditions are not favorable, bacteria go into a period of adolescence.

When oxygen is combined with anything, heat is diberikan off. This is known as constipation.
As the rain forests in the amazon are shrinking, so are the Indians.
anda can listen to thunder after lightning and tell how close anda came to getting hit. If anda don't hear it, anda got hit so never mind.
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4 days after Sam and her mom talked,this happened.
Sam just got halaman awal when,she opened the front door."Sam!Hurry!Go in your bedroom!Hurry!"Mom ran to Sam,and grabbed her arm."Mom!Whats happening?"Sam stopped to ask."There's someone coming."Mom whispered."What?"Sam whispered back.Mom couldn't say any more,She grabbed Sam and ran into her bedroom,There Sam saw her little sister,Nicky."Duck Sam!Now!!!"Mom demanded.Sam ducked as Nicky did."Mom?Whats happening!"Sam berkata shaking."I-I can't explain!No time!!Duck lower!"Mom said.Just then...POW!!!There was glass shattering.Nicky Screaming.Mom quieting her down.Sam,Scared to death.Just then.Sam couldn't hear anything but the word "Joan" circling in her head.Joan.Joan.Joan.Joan...is...G-G-GONE.Gone.Sam couldn't help but screaming.Then...all Sam could remember was waking up in the hospital."Mom?Nicky?What...What happened?"Sam asked."You were...s-s-stabbed."Mom stuttered."WHAT!!???"Sam berkata shaking.But she stopped when she remembered Joan.
posted by fly210
A while yang lalu (few months maybe?) I wrote a artical that I called "A acak tail" well I read it today and got mre ideas for it and I needed to change some spelling so I have re-wrote it for all to read!I bet anda can't keep up with this oneshot.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was walking down the road when I triped on a napkin. I know. a napkin right? but it was a wet napkin and for some reson my sidewalk is made of tial. so I slid on the napkin and bumped into the worst thing ever. Barney. Why barney was there I don't know. Barney started bernyanyi so I shot him. But then cops...
continue reading...
posted by invadercalliope
A ball it goes up and down its so round
it bounces up and down
up and around
ANYWAYS!
Well HI!
I'm Invader Calliope!
Well it's time to dance!
LALALALA *STEP STEP* LALALALALALALALALALALA
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Amazing! Dance!
now time to make face
:P
:o
:D
:H
:l
C:
:R
:A
:Q
OK!
OMG LOOK IT'S JUSTIN BIEBER!
Now IT'S FRED!
NOW IT'S TAYLOR!
NOW IT'S DAVID!
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THE END!
i hope anda enjoyed!