Chapter 5
When we arrived at the school I sat there a moment just staring at it. This would be my prison, I could just tell. How will I ever survive? My mom was already out of the car; she reached her head in the door.
“Get out.”
“Why do anda even care what I do?” I asked incredulously.
“I don’t.’ she berkata bluntly.
“Well way to be blunt.” I berkata sarcastically.
“Would anda just hurry up?”
“I’m coming.” I slowly climbed out, biting my lip to stop the inevitable pain. “You know a little help would be nice.” I berkata sarcastically as I finally stood on my crutches. “Let’s go.” I started hobbling off towards the school.
As I opened the front door and stepped inside I was a little amazed. The high ceilings were hung with lamps that illuminated a soft light. Half-way up the dinding were brown bricks which were then taken over oleh white bricks. The main office sat just off to the right. I opened the door for myself and went inside as my mother trailed behind me. She walked up to the long desk, which I thought was the receptionist desk.
“Hi, I need to enroll my daughter in school.” My mom faked a smile.
This older looking lady sat behind the meja tulis, meja with a high school student to her left. “Could anda bring me the enrollment forms off that desk?” She berkata very southerly.
“Where?” The girl asked.
“You know where my office is? Well the room anda pass through before my office, in there anda will see a long table. On that meja there’s a stack of forms look for the one that says enrolment on it and bring it to me.” She berkata sweetly. She reminded me of someone’s grandmother. She just had this grandmotherly thing about her. The girl got up and left returning a few menit later with a stack of paperwork. My mother took the paperwork and began filling it out. I just sat in one of the two chairs in the office looking around. I could see into the office I was sitting selanjutnya to.
In there sat another older looking woman but who was younger than the first woman. She had a meja tulis, meja that took up pretty much the whole luar angkasa of her office. Also I noticed that she had a bunch of Elvis memorabilia. She obviously was a fan of Elvis. All the sudden a memory came flooding back to me.
“Elvis, why don’t anda open that gift next,” my uncle said. I stared at my sister. “Yeah open that one next.” I smiled. Elvis was my big sister Kelsey’s nickname from my uncle. My uncle had a nickname for me too, frog; because when I was born I just to stick my tongue out and sit like a frog. Kelsey got her nickname from one of the outfits my mom had bought her halaman awal in when she was a baby. I almost smiled thinking about it.
I was sucked back when I heard the older woman talking. “Now you’ll need to come to school tomorrow, but make sure to stop oleh here first so that I can get one of the students to tampil anda around.” She smiled at me.
“I won’t be coming tomorrow.” I stated.
“Carrie,” my mother scolded. “You don’t say it like that.”
“Oh I’m sorry, “I berkata sarcastically. “How does this work? I told anda so.”
“Carrie, enough.” My mother practically yelled. She turned towards the older looking woman. “I’m sorry she’s normally not like this. She won’t be able to come tomorrow; I thought if I registered her today it would take longer. She has surgery tomorrow and so she can’t come.”
“That’s okay; she’ll just need to get a note from her doctor.” She smiled at me. “Feel better.”
“Yeah right,” I mumbled under my breath as I crutched away.
“Thank anda so much,” my mom berkata as we walked away.
As soon as the door closed and we were out of the building my mom started yelling. “Why were anda being so incredibly rude? That lady didn’t deserve that.” She scowled at me.
‘I didn’t mean to be rude to her. I meant to direct it towards you.” I practically screamed. “I told you, I told anda they would want me to enroll if we came and registered me today. I told they would want me in class tomorrow, but did anda listen to me? NO. Why not? Because I’m just a stupid kid and you’re an adult so anda think anda know everything.” My mom got in the car without a word. I climbed in being careful to take it slowly.
“For your information, I don’t think I know everything; and fine anda were right. Does it make anda happy that I’m admitting anda were right?” She scowled at the road.
“Ecstatic.” I berkata sarcastically.
“Great,” she growled. The rest of the way halaman awal we didn’t talk which was fine oleh me. She drove me crazy all the freaking time. I couldn’t breathe without her telling me I was doing it wrong. I couldn’t even say anything without her assuming it had some hidden meaning.
When we got halaman awal I went to my room and she went to hers. Good, I thought, finally, some peace and quiet. Hopefully she just leaves me alone for the rest of the day. I stared up at my ceiling. Slowly my mind drifted away until I fell into a deep sleep.
I watched as Kelsey sat on the dipan, sofa crying. Then I walked into the room. “Kelsey, don’t cry. anda know mom and dad are just worried. They don’t mean to act like that.”
“I know, but they treat me like I’m five.”
“I know.” I smiled sympathetically. “I know.” I wrapped her closer to me.
I remembered that day. Kelsey had asked to go to some party and my parents berkata no. They told her they didn’t like the people she was hanging out with so they told her she couldn’t go. I remember the screaming and the fighting. This wasn’t the first fight they had over that situation it was just the last one they had over that situation. Kelsey had died a few days later.
I woke up with tears staining my face. I quickly wiped them away and looked outside it was getting dark so that means it must be about five atau six. I got up to see a note attached to the fridge.
I went out to get some food. Be back later.
Mom
I went through the fridge and found some leftovers that didn’t look too bad, yeah, they would work. I hopped over to the counter and stuck it in the microwave. As I waited I let myself do something I swore I wouldn’t do. I cried. I cried and didn’t stop even when I started eating. I only stopped when I heard the front door being unlocked. I got up as quickly as I could and hobbled to the sink, hiding my face. “Get everything anda needed?” I asked bored.
“Yes.” She whispered. I hobbled off away from her and back to my room. It was then that I noticed something black sitting on my floor. I picked it up. It was the rock from the lake. I turned it over in my hands and then placed it on my dresser. It was the only thing on there. I didn’t need many material things; atau at least that’s what I told myself. I stared at the rock for a few lebih menit before going back to laying on my bed. I reached over and grabbed my laptop.
“Let’s see what’s happening on facebook today.” I berkata sarcastically. I opened up the internet and typed in Facebook. A page pulled up asking for my username and password. I typed in both. I didn’t have very many friends; just my parents, my sister, and a few colleges. I didn’t bother looking at Kelsey’s; I knew what I would find; a bunch of photos, some dinding posts from people who had barely talked to her, and a bunch of we’ll miss anda messages. After Kelsey’s funeral we got all these bunga and all these people stopping by. Some of these people Kelsey had hated oleh they stopped oleh and pretended like they were the best of friends. It had really made me mad and it still did.
I decided to look at my dad’s profile. On it sat a picture of Kelsey but there were some newer pictures. Ones with a strange woman in them; I looked at his relationship status: engaged. Engaged? Engaged? Are anda serious? Here we were falling apart and yet he was just moving on with life. How could he be even thinking about marrying someone? Who would get married so short of a time after their daughter was killed? What kind of person does that? I went through the pictures. They were all the same. A pretty blonde with her arms around my dad, smiling, and laughing as if nothing bad has ever happened. I stared at the blonde woman staring back at me.
She was pretty. She had blue eyes and long eyelashes that every woman dreamed about. She probably wore a size two but had double D boobs. She wore a million watt smile. I stared at her. How had my dad gotten this woman? My dad was not the most attractive guy, and I can say that because I am reacted to him. Was it the money? Because it’s not like he had a lot of that. My mom was the one who made most of the money in our house, I knew how much he made and it wasn’t a lot. My mom had always been the provider. I knew how my dad had gotten my mom; he knocked her up, and because otherwise I don’t think my mom would have stayed if they hadn’t had Kelsey. Don’t get me wrong I never once blamed her; because to blame her would be to blame myself. I was also born before they got married. I closed my eyes.
Kelsey, do anda remember when we first learned we were born out of wedlock? I do. I remember anda told mom that it wasn’t fair that she got to go around having bayi without being married but that anda had to wait to have kids. Well Kelsey, now you’ll never have those kids. You’ll never get to have some guy look at anda like anda are the most beautiful thing in the world. Do anda ever feel sad about that? Do anda ever cry? I cry for anda all the time. Every time I think about the fact that you’ll never be called mommy and never get to walk down the aisle.
Kelsey does it bother you? Does it make anda crazy? It drives me crazy. It drives me insane that you’ll never get any of the opportunities that anda deserved. It makes me sick to know that anda won’t get any chance to have anything anda were supposed to have. anda were supposed to have kids and three anjing and a husband who adored you. anda were supposed to walk down the aisle in that dress you’ve been dreaming about since anda were five. anda were supposed to get the big house with the yard. anda were supposed to have Isabella, my niece, and anda were supposed to come to my wedding and be my maid of honor. anda were supposed to be there when I had my first kid. anda were supposed to hold my hand when my husband and I had our first fight. I was supposed to hold your hand when your daughter graduated and when the last one left. I was supposed to cry with anda when anda became a grandmother.
All of those moments were meant for anda and know what do anda have? anda get to watch as people who don’t deserve kids have them. anda get to watch as someone who should never be a grandparent becomes one. anda have to watch as people who have no right to live, live on. Does it frustrate you? It frustrates me. It kills me. anda were a good person; anda should have had all those things. Instead anda get to be dead. How is that fair? It’s not.
When I opened my eyes I was crying hysterically. I couldn’t breathe. I sat up and cried. My jantung and soul were ripping apart with the agony. All these murders get to just sit on death row till they die of old age but my sister died when she was eighteen. She was just a baby compared to them. She didn’t deserve what she got. I cried even harder. I cried until there was nothing left but emptiness and sorrow; and when I was done I laid down on my side, ignoring the pain in my ankle. I wrapped myself tightly around a bantal and wrapped myself tightly in a blanket. Hoping that those two things would hold me together. Eventually, though, I feel asleep.
When we arrived at the school I sat there a moment just staring at it. This would be my prison, I could just tell. How will I ever survive? My mom was already out of the car; she reached her head in the door.
“Get out.”
“Why do anda even care what I do?” I asked incredulously.
“I don’t.’ she berkata bluntly.
“Well way to be blunt.” I berkata sarcastically.
“Would anda just hurry up?”
“I’m coming.” I slowly climbed out, biting my lip to stop the inevitable pain. “You know a little help would be nice.” I berkata sarcastically as I finally stood on my crutches. “Let’s go.” I started hobbling off towards the school.
As I opened the front door and stepped inside I was a little amazed. The high ceilings were hung with lamps that illuminated a soft light. Half-way up the dinding were brown bricks which were then taken over oleh white bricks. The main office sat just off to the right. I opened the door for myself and went inside as my mother trailed behind me. She walked up to the long desk, which I thought was the receptionist desk.
“Hi, I need to enroll my daughter in school.” My mom faked a smile.
This older looking lady sat behind the meja tulis, meja with a high school student to her left. “Could anda bring me the enrollment forms off that desk?” She berkata very southerly.
“Where?” The girl asked.
“You know where my office is? Well the room anda pass through before my office, in there anda will see a long table. On that meja there’s a stack of forms look for the one that says enrolment on it and bring it to me.” She berkata sweetly. She reminded me of someone’s grandmother. She just had this grandmotherly thing about her. The girl got up and left returning a few menit later with a stack of paperwork. My mother took the paperwork and began filling it out. I just sat in one of the two chairs in the office looking around. I could see into the office I was sitting selanjutnya to.
In there sat another older looking woman but who was younger than the first woman. She had a meja tulis, meja that took up pretty much the whole luar angkasa of her office. Also I noticed that she had a bunch of Elvis memorabilia. She obviously was a fan of Elvis. All the sudden a memory came flooding back to me.
“Elvis, why don’t anda open that gift next,” my uncle said. I stared at my sister. “Yeah open that one next.” I smiled. Elvis was my big sister Kelsey’s nickname from my uncle. My uncle had a nickname for me too, frog; because when I was born I just to stick my tongue out and sit like a frog. Kelsey got her nickname from one of the outfits my mom had bought her halaman awal in when she was a baby. I almost smiled thinking about it.
I was sucked back when I heard the older woman talking. “Now you’ll need to come to school tomorrow, but make sure to stop oleh here first so that I can get one of the students to tampil anda around.” She smiled at me.
“I won’t be coming tomorrow.” I stated.
“Carrie,” my mother scolded. “You don’t say it like that.”
“Oh I’m sorry, “I berkata sarcastically. “How does this work? I told anda so.”
“Carrie, enough.” My mother practically yelled. She turned towards the older looking woman. “I’m sorry she’s normally not like this. She won’t be able to come tomorrow; I thought if I registered her today it would take longer. She has surgery tomorrow and so she can’t come.”
“That’s okay; she’ll just need to get a note from her doctor.” She smiled at me. “Feel better.”
“Yeah right,” I mumbled under my breath as I crutched away.
“Thank anda so much,” my mom berkata as we walked away.
As soon as the door closed and we were out of the building my mom started yelling. “Why were anda being so incredibly rude? That lady didn’t deserve that.” She scowled at me.
‘I didn’t mean to be rude to her. I meant to direct it towards you.” I practically screamed. “I told you, I told anda they would want me to enroll if we came and registered me today. I told they would want me in class tomorrow, but did anda listen to me? NO. Why not? Because I’m just a stupid kid and you’re an adult so anda think anda know everything.” My mom got in the car without a word. I climbed in being careful to take it slowly.
“For your information, I don’t think I know everything; and fine anda were right. Does it make anda happy that I’m admitting anda were right?” She scowled at the road.
“Ecstatic.” I berkata sarcastically.
“Great,” she growled. The rest of the way halaman awal we didn’t talk which was fine oleh me. She drove me crazy all the freaking time. I couldn’t breathe without her telling me I was doing it wrong. I couldn’t even say anything without her assuming it had some hidden meaning.
When we got halaman awal I went to my room and she went to hers. Good, I thought, finally, some peace and quiet. Hopefully she just leaves me alone for the rest of the day. I stared up at my ceiling. Slowly my mind drifted away until I fell into a deep sleep.
I watched as Kelsey sat on the dipan, sofa crying. Then I walked into the room. “Kelsey, don’t cry. anda know mom and dad are just worried. They don’t mean to act like that.”
“I know, but they treat me like I’m five.”
“I know.” I smiled sympathetically. “I know.” I wrapped her closer to me.
I remembered that day. Kelsey had asked to go to some party and my parents berkata no. They told her they didn’t like the people she was hanging out with so they told her she couldn’t go. I remember the screaming and the fighting. This wasn’t the first fight they had over that situation it was just the last one they had over that situation. Kelsey had died a few days later.
I woke up with tears staining my face. I quickly wiped them away and looked outside it was getting dark so that means it must be about five atau six. I got up to see a note attached to the fridge.
I went out to get some food. Be back later.
Mom
I went through the fridge and found some leftovers that didn’t look too bad, yeah, they would work. I hopped over to the counter and stuck it in the microwave. As I waited I let myself do something I swore I wouldn’t do. I cried. I cried and didn’t stop even when I started eating. I only stopped when I heard the front door being unlocked. I got up as quickly as I could and hobbled to the sink, hiding my face. “Get everything anda needed?” I asked bored.
“Yes.” She whispered. I hobbled off away from her and back to my room. It was then that I noticed something black sitting on my floor. I picked it up. It was the rock from the lake. I turned it over in my hands and then placed it on my dresser. It was the only thing on there. I didn’t need many material things; atau at least that’s what I told myself. I stared at the rock for a few lebih menit before going back to laying on my bed. I reached over and grabbed my laptop.
“Let’s see what’s happening on facebook today.” I berkata sarcastically. I opened up the internet and typed in Facebook. A page pulled up asking for my username and password. I typed in both. I didn’t have very many friends; just my parents, my sister, and a few colleges. I didn’t bother looking at Kelsey’s; I knew what I would find; a bunch of photos, some dinding posts from people who had barely talked to her, and a bunch of we’ll miss anda messages. After Kelsey’s funeral we got all these bunga and all these people stopping by. Some of these people Kelsey had hated oleh they stopped oleh and pretended like they were the best of friends. It had really made me mad and it still did.
I decided to look at my dad’s profile. On it sat a picture of Kelsey but there were some newer pictures. Ones with a strange woman in them; I looked at his relationship status: engaged. Engaged? Engaged? Are anda serious? Here we were falling apart and yet he was just moving on with life. How could he be even thinking about marrying someone? Who would get married so short of a time after their daughter was killed? What kind of person does that? I went through the pictures. They were all the same. A pretty blonde with her arms around my dad, smiling, and laughing as if nothing bad has ever happened. I stared at the blonde woman staring back at me.
She was pretty. She had blue eyes and long eyelashes that every woman dreamed about. She probably wore a size two but had double D boobs. She wore a million watt smile. I stared at her. How had my dad gotten this woman? My dad was not the most attractive guy, and I can say that because I am reacted to him. Was it the money? Because it’s not like he had a lot of that. My mom was the one who made most of the money in our house, I knew how much he made and it wasn’t a lot. My mom had always been the provider. I knew how my dad had gotten my mom; he knocked her up, and because otherwise I don’t think my mom would have stayed if they hadn’t had Kelsey. Don’t get me wrong I never once blamed her; because to blame her would be to blame myself. I was also born before they got married. I closed my eyes.
Kelsey, do anda remember when we first learned we were born out of wedlock? I do. I remember anda told mom that it wasn’t fair that she got to go around having bayi without being married but that anda had to wait to have kids. Well Kelsey, now you’ll never have those kids. You’ll never get to have some guy look at anda like anda are the most beautiful thing in the world. Do anda ever feel sad about that? Do anda ever cry? I cry for anda all the time. Every time I think about the fact that you’ll never be called mommy and never get to walk down the aisle.
Kelsey does it bother you? Does it make anda crazy? It drives me crazy. It drives me insane that you’ll never get any of the opportunities that anda deserved. It makes me sick to know that anda won’t get any chance to have anything anda were supposed to have. anda were supposed to have kids and three anjing and a husband who adored you. anda were supposed to walk down the aisle in that dress you’ve been dreaming about since anda were five. anda were supposed to get the big house with the yard. anda were supposed to have Isabella, my niece, and anda were supposed to come to my wedding and be my maid of honor. anda were supposed to be there when I had my first kid. anda were supposed to hold my hand when my husband and I had our first fight. I was supposed to hold your hand when your daughter graduated and when the last one left. I was supposed to cry with anda when anda became a grandmother.
All of those moments were meant for anda and know what do anda have? anda get to watch as people who don’t deserve kids have them. anda get to watch as someone who should never be a grandparent becomes one. anda have to watch as people who have no right to live, live on. Does it frustrate you? It frustrates me. It kills me. anda were a good person; anda should have had all those things. Instead anda get to be dead. How is that fair? It’s not.
When I opened my eyes I was crying hysterically. I couldn’t breathe. I sat up and cried. My jantung and soul were ripping apart with the agony. All these murders get to just sit on death row till they die of old age but my sister died when she was eighteen. She was just a baby compared to them. She didn’t deserve what she got. I cried even harder. I cried until there was nothing left but emptiness and sorrow; and when I was done I laid down on my side, ignoring the pain in my ankle. I wrapped myself tightly around a bantal and wrapped myself tightly in a blanket. Hoping that those two things would hold me together. Eventually, though, I feel asleep.
War
I am weak losing strength, like losing blood
but the scene just drags on no one sees me.
I am unnoticed and as the picture fades away.
I'm covered with a touch, a healing touch.
I look at the face, the kind kind face smiling down at me.
I extend a hand but it never reaches its destination.
About this poem: I wrote it last night and its set in Afghanistan when someone's been shot and everyone's busy fighting so they don't notice him and then he sees the malaikat of death in front of him and then he dies before he can touch it.
Dedicated to the soldiers of Afghanistan.
I am weak losing strength, like losing blood
but the scene just drags on no one sees me.
I am unnoticed and as the picture fades away.
I'm covered with a touch, a healing touch.
I look at the face, the kind kind face smiling down at me.
I extend a hand but it never reaches its destination.
About this poem: I wrote it last night and its set in Afghanistan when someone's been shot and everyone's busy fighting so they don't notice him and then he sees the malaikat of death in front of him and then he dies before he can touch it.
Dedicated to the soldiers of Afghanistan.
Last Love
Your jantung is breaking,
waiting for a rose to bloom again,
hoping your jantung wounds will heal,
Not knowing that it can't.
anda cry out in pain but no one can hear you.
About poem: I wrote this poem Saturday night(AKA yesterday) Its about someone who was being abused oleh their girl/boyfriend then she/he dumps them and their alone on the jalan, street and no one will hear cause their minds are full of hate and ignorance, they ignore the hurt person and let them scream out in pain.
(If this poem disturbs u plz message me and I'll hapus it atau put............well i don't know)
Your jantung is breaking,
waiting for a rose to bloom again,
hoping your jantung wounds will heal,
Not knowing that it can't.
anda cry out in pain but no one can hear you.
About poem: I wrote this poem Saturday night(AKA yesterday) Its about someone who was being abused oleh their girl/boyfriend then she/he dumps them and their alone on the jalan, street and no one will hear cause their minds are full of hate and ignorance, they ignore the hurt person and let them scream out in pain.
(If this poem disturbs u plz message me and I'll hapus it atau put............well i don't know)
Pain Of Secrets
hari oleh day, your corrage
fades and the mask falls
off your face.
People start to notice
and ask if your ok,
the lebih they ask
the lebih anda sulk
your heading for a cliff.
Your hurting yourself,
your such a disgrace
and anda should never
have excist.
anda collapes at school
from all the pressure,
people say its from all
the leasure.
Tear drop hits the floor.
anda stand at a bridge
and look at the road
below.
Walking forward,
someone tries to stop
you,
anda turn around and
there stands the
man of your dreams.
He brings anda close
and hugs anda saying
its going to be okay.
hari oleh day, your corrage
fades and the mask falls
off your face.
People start to notice
and ask if your ok,
the lebih they ask
the lebih anda sulk
your heading for a cliff.
Your hurting yourself,
your such a disgrace
and anda should never
have excist.
anda collapes at school
from all the pressure,
people say its from all
the leasure.
Tear drop hits the floor.
anda stand at a bridge
and look at the road
below.
Walking forward,
someone tries to stop
you,
anda turn around and
there stands the
man of your dreams.
He brings anda close
and hugs anda saying
its going to be okay.
King Of Evil
Blood trickles, rain pours
lightning strikes at your door.
api burns, children scream,
even lebih pain as it seems.
Sun hides, darkness shows,
as the king evil grows.
His army growing stronger and stronger
and your living a life of danger.
They patrol the street
looking for something
to eat.
If they smell you,
you'd better run.
About this poem: This poem is about people living in fear and a bad magician who calls himself king and tries to feed his beruang army (sounds alot like narnia)
:P
:)
:D
XO
:O
Blood trickles, rain pours
lightning strikes at your door.
api burns, children scream,
even lebih pain as it seems.
Sun hides, darkness shows,
as the king evil grows.
His army growing stronger and stronger
and your living a life of danger.
They patrol the street
looking for something
to eat.
If they smell you,
you'd better run.
About this poem: This poem is about people living in fear and a bad magician who calls himself king and tries to feed his beruang army (sounds alot like narnia)
:P
:)
:D
XO
:O