[Holly Gribbs is performing her first autopsy]
Gil Grissom: anda gotta breathe through your ears, Gribbs.
Gil Grissom: I need anda to roll up your sleeve and give me a pint of your blood?
holly Gribbs: What for?
Gil Grissom: It's customary for all new hires.
holly Gribbs: Why?
Gil Grissom: So many reasons...
Warrick Brown: Where'd anda get the blood?
Gil Grissom: The new girl. Want to donate?
Warrick Brown: Hell, no.
[to a room full of dead corpses, after holly Gribbs was frightened into hysterics]
Gil Grissom: anda assholes!
Gil Grissom: Forget about your promotion Warrick, forget about making a hundred, forget about the husband, these things will only confuse you. Concentrate on what cannot lie: the evidence.
Gil Grissom: I know, berwarna merah muda, merah muda Floyd's not your thing.
Gina Harmon: I have on cowboy boots. I work in a lab. What makes anda think The Dark Side of the Moon synched to the Wizard of Oz is gonna warm my damn barn?
Gil Grissom: I just thought it'd be something different.
Gina Harmon: Wanna be different? Pin me up against a dinding and lay one on me like anda mean it.
Gil Grissom: Concentrate on what doesn't lie: the evidence.
Gil Grissom: Every hari we meet people on the worst hari of their lives.
Gil Grissom: We look at each case objectively, without presupposition, regardless of sex, creed, color, atau bubblegum flavor.
Gil Grissom: Pin anda against a wall?
holly Gribbs: [Upset after being locked in the morgue] There were bodies. I could feel them breathing.
Gil Grissom: [laughs] It's okay, Holly. It's alright.
[Yelling to the bodies]
Gil Grissom: anda assholes!
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Secrets & Flies (#6.6)" (2005)
UnderSheriff McKeen: What are anda doing?
Gil Grissom: Circling blowflies.
UnderSheriff McKeen: Why?
Gil Grissom: 'Cause dead flies tell no lies.
[Grissom doesn't answer his phone]
Catherine Willows: Who do anda keep avoiding?
Gil Grissom: Ecklie.
Catherine Willows: Ah, that means anda should answer it.
Gil Grissom: No, he just wants to yell at me because I'm late with the personnel evaluations. It can wait.
Sofia Curtis: Grissom, Ecklie has been looking for you. Is your cell not working?
Gil Grissom: What are anda doing here?
Sofia Curtis: Well, apparently, I was a CSI, then a detective, but now I'm a messenger. You're needed at the lab ASAP.
Gil Grissom: Why?
Sofia Curtis: I have no idea. But the undersheriff's camped out in the break room.
Gil Grissom: The science in these textbooks is sound, but the tape is lebih than enough to get reasonable doubt.
Conrad Ecklie: Well, there's no doubt in my mind that Thayer worked his science to get the jawaban the defense needed.
Gil Grissom: I just finished your eval.
Catherine Willows: And?
Gil Grissom: In the komentar section, I noted that if anda had my job, these evaluations wouldn't be late.
Catherine Willows: Thank you.
Catherine Willows: [about Thayer] The guy's an ass.
Gil Grissom: He used to be a competent scientist. We actually co-authored a paper together 10 years ago. I believe greed has gotten in his way.
Catherine Willows: Well, I've seen him on the stand. He manipulates evidence.
Gil Grissom: He manipulates people. The public assumes that scientists are ethical, but many of us are no better than politicians, evidently.
Catherine Willows: I don't know who killed Christina Adalian, I don't know how she got pregnant, and I don't know the identity of the baby's biological parents.
Gil Grissom: It's always good to know what anda don't know.
[Grissom walks in]
Henry Andrews: Why did the fly fly?
Gil Grissom: Because the labah-labah, laba-laba spied her.
[pause]
Gil Grissom: Catherine's daughter told me that when she was three.
Mark Thayer: anda impugned my character.
Gil Grissom: What character?
Mark Thayer: This is all your fault.
Gil Grissom: I hope so.
[last lines]
UnderSheriff McKeen: So, Grissom, I'm not sure of your ambitions, but if you're interested in taking on lebih responsibility, maybe a promotion, I'd be glad to pass...
Gil Grissom: [interrupts] anda know, Oscar Wilde once said: "Ambition is the last refuge of failure." I'm fine. Thanks.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Sex, Lies and Larvae (#1.10)" (2000)
Captain Jim Brass: We ID'd the body and located the husband...
Gil Grissom: Let me guess - downtown, Freemont district?
Captain Jim Brass: anda know, I'm not even gonna ask.
Sara Sidle: What if... anda can hear the victim's screams? In the car, atau at the store.
Gil Grissom: anda have empathy for her, Sara. anda want someone to pay for what was done to her. That's normal.
Sara Sidle: [pauses] anda want to sleep with me?
Gil Grissom: [looks up at her] Did anda just say what I think anda said?
Sara Sidle: That way, when I wake up in cold sweat under the blanket, hearing Kaye's screams, anda can tell me it's nothing, it's just empathy.
Sara Sidle: What if... anda can hear the victim's screams. In the car, atau at the store.
Gil Grissom: anda have empathy for her, Sara. anda want someone to pay for what was done to her. That's normal.
Sara Sidle: [pauses] anda want to sleep with me?
Gil Grissom: [looks up at her] Did anda just say what I think anda did?
Sara Sidle: That way, when I wake up in cold sweat under the blanket, hearing Kaye's screams... anda can tell me it's nothing. It's just empathy.
Scott Shelton: Like I said, I'd wrestle her off me, but I never, ever, laid a hand on her.
Sara Sidle: How 'bout a gun?
[glares at him]
Scott Shelton: [looks to Grissom]
[scoffs]
Scott Shelton: anda have your hands full with her.
Gil Grissom: So do you.
Gil Grissom: You've still got to convince a jury.
Sara Sidle: On bullets. It's got to be better than bugs.
[Grissom looks at her]
Sara Sidle: Less Latin.
Sara Sidle: You're the one who berkata one, piece of evidence is better than ten eyewitnesses.
Gil Grissom: What do anda tape everything I say?
[Sara shrugs]
Scott Shelton: [after Sara finds blood that has been wiped clean off the wall] I have no idea how it got there.
Sara Sidle: Oh... How it "got there" was when anda shot your wife in the head, wrapped her in a blanket and left her on the side of a mountains!
[Points her finger in his face]
Scott Shelton: Get that finger out of my face, bitch!
[He pushes her finger away, and she pushes him back]
Gil Grissom: Sara!
[Grissom pulls her back]
Sara Sidle: anda touch me again, anda draw back a stump!
Scott Shelton: Look at her.
Gil Grissom: Sara!
Captain Jim Brass: Can't anda control her?
Gil Grissom: Get him out of here, Jim!
Scott Shelton: I told anda she was a handful.
Sara Sidle: anda don't know a handful!
[Brass leaves with Scott Shelton]
Gil Grissom: Hey, Sara, what's the matter with you?
Sara Sidle: I am a woman, and I have a *gun* and look how he treated me! I can only *imagine* how he treated his wife!
[walks away]
Captain Jim Brass: So, anda planning a little late-night luau? Roast pig?
Gil Grissom: It's an experiment. Maybe Kaye was dead five days.
Captain Jim Brass: I thought your bugs never made mistakes.
Gil Grissom: They don't. People do. The victim was wrapped in a blanket. Normally a blanket atau clothing doesn't impact insect maturation. The insects usually fight their way in anyway. But I examined the folds in Kaye's blanket. She was wrapped tight - -maybe tighter than I realized - -which would have decreased the corpse's exposure to insects.
Captain Jim Brass: So it took longer for the insects to get in there?
Gil Grissom: And deposit their eggs. Maybe two whole days. I've wrapped porky here pretty tight.
Captain Jim Brass: Well, let me ask anda this. anda killed a pig just for this?
Gil Grissom: This poor ham was already on its way to someone's natal makan malam table.
Captain Jim Brass: Wouldn't a rabbit be easier?
Gil Grissom: Gotta be a pig. Interestingly, they're the most like humans.
Captain Jim Brass: Yeah, I've been saying that since I was a rookie.
Scott Shelton: [after Sara discovers blood that has been wiped clean off the wall] I have no idea how it got there.
Sara Sidle: Oh... How it got there was when anda shot your wife in the head, wrapped her in a blanket and left her on the side of a mountain. *Dead*!
[points her finger in his face]
Scott Shelton: Get that finger out of my face!
[they fight]
Captain Jim Brass: [shouts] Stop! That's enough!
[to Grissom]
Captain Jim Brass: Get her under control!
Gil Grissom: [shouts] Get him out of here, Jim!
Scott Shelton: Told anda she was a handful.
Sara Sidle: Oh, anda don't know a handful!
Gil Grissom: Hey, Sara, what's the matter with you?
Sara Sidle: I am a woman, and I have a gun and look how he treated me! I can only imagine how he treated his wife!
Scott Shelton: [after Sara discovers blood that has been wiped clean off the wall] I have no idea how it got there.
Sara Sidle: Oh... How it got there was when anda shot your wife in the head, wrapped her in a blanket and left her on the side of a mountain. *Dead*!
[points her finger in his face]
Scott Shelton: Get that finger out of my face!
[they fight]
Captain Jim Brass: [shouts] Stop! That's enough!
Captain Jim Brass: [to Grissom] Get her under control!
Gil Grissom: [shouts] Get him out of here, Jim!
Scott Shelton: Told anda she was a handful.
Sara Sidle: Oh, anda don't know a handful!
Gil Grissom: Hey, Sara, what's the matter with you?
Sara Sidle: I am a woman, and I have a gun and look how he treated me! I can only imagine how he treated his wife!
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Who Are You? (#1.6)" (2000)
[Eddie, Cath's ex is accused of rape]
Gil Grissom: What's the status?
Catherine Willows: Skin samples from under the women's fingernails are consistent with Ed's. I saw some bruises. But Eddie's style has always been very... involved. Vigorous.
Gil Grissom: ...Vigorous.
Warrick Brown: She's trying to tell anda Eddie likes it rough.
Catherine Willows: Thank you, Warrick.
[a skeleton is found in a house foundation]
Gil Grissom: oleh law, you've got to disclose everything: three bedrooms, two baths and a skeleton.
Gil Grissom: So. How's the thing Catherine passed off to anda going?
Warrick Brown: What thing?
Gil Grissom: The thing with Eddie Willows?
Warrick Brown: Er, good.
Gil Grissom: anda called the DMV yet?
Warrick Brown: I was just about to.
Gil Grissom: Hmm. Warrick, why would anda call the DMV on a rape charge?
Warrick Brown: [looks at Catherine] If anda want me to suave anybody, I gotta know the shot.
Catherine Willows: I'm sorry. I didn't pass it off.
Gil Grissom: Really?
Catherine Willows: Got anything for me?
Gil Grissom: Yeah, but I can't give it to you. Conflict of interest.
Catherine Willows: Why?
Gil Grissom: The victim's an exotic dancer.
Catherine Willows: And because I used to *be* one, I'll be biased?
Gil Grissom: No. The suspect's your ex-husband.
Gil Grissom: anda bring in a specialist without consulting me?
Catherine Willows: What? And anda don't bring one in, possibly compromising the case because anda two had a relationship?
Gil Grissom: Relationship? I hardly know that woman.
Catherine Willows: Oh, so I guess that dopey look in your eye whenever she's around is just that.
Greg Sanders: It's not real sand. It's finely crushed granite.
Nick Stokes: What does that mean?
Gil Grissom: It means she wasn't killed in Hawaii. Other than that, he has no idea.
Teri Miller: It's not going to be easy, getting an impression off this.
Gil Grissom: They told me anda were the best forensic artist in the country.
Teri Miller: And Canada. I didn't say I couldn't do it.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: King Baby (#5.15)" (2005)
Gil Grissom: Question. anda come home, see your husband lying in the driveway, what do anda do?
Greg Sanders: ...Is that a trick question?
Captain Jim Brass: Welcome to the party.
Catherine Willows: [to Grissom & Ecklie] What's going on? This is my scene.
Conrad Ecklie: High profil case - woke up the supervisors. All hands on deck, Cath. Grissom's lead on this, he's the senior supervisor... I'm an administrator, I run interference for anda guys. Starting with the press.
Gil Grissom: It's nothing personal, Catherine. Cases like these rain down hard, anda need all the help anda can get.
Catherine Willows: I need help. Not supervision.
Gil Grissom: Count Basie berkata that it's the notes anda don't hear that matter.
Gil Grissom: I've enjoyed working with you.
Catherine Willows: Which part? The part where I got in your face atau the part where I, uh, lost evidence, or, uh, maybe anda just missed me?
Gil Grissom: I did miss you. I missed your passion and your tenacity. I even missed your tush.
Gil Grissom: It's only the truly powerful that have the luxury to relinquish power.
[last lines]
Gil Grissom: Where would anda go if anda had the connections and the cash to go anywhere anda wanted?
Captain Jim Brass: I hear Fiji's nice.
Gil Grissom: Eiger went further. He went all the way back to his childhood.
Captain Jim Brass: Yeah. I think I'd take Fiji.
Gil Grissom: Well, howdy! I was wondering: Do anda carry adult diapers?
Madge: Oh, we sure do! What are you: About a 34 atau a 36?
Gil Grissom: Well... they're not for me.
Madge: [she looks at Nick Stokes and smiles] Well, aren't anda lucky to have such a nice daddy?
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Formalities (#5.7)" (2004)
[first lines]
[Grissom struggles to tie a bowtie]
Catherine Willows: What are anda doing?
Gil Grissom: I'm going insane. I don't understand this diagram.
Catherine Willows: anda don't need a diagram. anda need a woman.
[stands behind him and successfully ties the tie]
Catherine Willows: I'm looking meneruskan, ke depan to your speech.
[Grissom's speech on a napkin]
Gil Grissom: What can I say about Conrad Ecklie?
Sofia Curtis: Sofia Curtis.
Gil Grissom: CSI-three, hari shift. anda work for Ecklie.
Sofia Curtis: As of tonight, so do you.
[Grissom leaves the ballroom and comes to the hotel]
Officer Metcalf: Hey, Griss. What's with the monkey suit?
Gil Grissom: I was at a funeral across the street.
Officer Metcalf: At a casino? My condolences.
Gil Grissom: Do anda always process like this?
Sofia Curtis: Like what?
Gil Grissom: With your mouth.
[Sofia tells something to Grissom who isn't paying attention to her]
Sofia Curtis: [pause] That time I was talking to you.
Gil Grissom: Huh?
[turns to her]
Gil Grissom: Sorry. I was, uh, treating it like white noise.
Catherine Willows: Why are anda talking to yourself?
Gil Grissom: I'm trying a new technique.
Catherine Willows: Is it working?
Gil Grissom: I have no idea.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Way to Go (#6.24)" (2006)
Bobby Dawson: But, boss, I don't think that's your murder weapon?
Gil Grissom: And anda know this how?
Bobby Dawson: Uh, here, I'll let Hawkeye tampil you.
Gil Grissom: [Grissom looks in the barrel of the gun] What is that?
Bobby Dawson: Well, Hodges will have to konfirmasi it but I'm pretty certain it's cream of wheat.
Gil Grissom: So he's a cereal killer.
Bobby Dawson: Snap, crackle and pop!
[Nick is looking for a victim's severed head]
Gil Grissom: hey Nick!
Nick Stokes: Yeah?
Gil Grissom: I think I found a toupee. Our vic may be bald.
Nick Stokes: Thanks. That will help me distinguish it from the other severed heads I find out here.
Gil Grissom: [the camera focus is on Grissom] I don't know. Most people want to die in their sleep, I suppose. Never know that it's happening, like a crime scene. Surprise, your dead.
[the camera has slowly spins around to reveal Grissom is in a bedroom]
Gil Grissom: I'd prefer to know in advance that I was going to die. I'd like to be diagnosed with cancer actually, have some time to prepare.
[Grissom sighs]
Gil Grissom: Go back to the rain forest one lebih time, re-read 'Moby Dick.'
[the camera is now behind Grissom and focus on a room. A female steps out wearing a white silky bathrobe]
Gil Grissom: Possibly enter an international chess tournament.
[the female walks towards Grissom and the camera focus stays only on her body]
Gil Grissom: At least have enough time to say 'goodbye' to the ones that I love.
[the female sits besides him. It's Sara]
Sara Sidle: I'm not ready to say 'Goodbye.'
[Sara smiles at him. The camera focus switches to Grissom who smiles back]
Bobby Dawson: Hodges will have to verify this, but I believe that is Cream of Wheat.
Gil Grissom: So he's a cereal killer?
Bobby Dawson: Snap, crackle, pop!
Greg Sanders: [about Brass]
[to Grissom]
Greg Sanders: Just between anda and me, does he always wear a suit?
Greg Sanders: Like when anda guys go to makan malam atau the film atau whatever it is when anda hang out.
Greg Sanders: Cause' I got to tell ya. The thought of him in a sweater, it freaks me out
Gil Grissom: We don't hang out, Greg.
Greg Sanders: No kidding, I just assumed
Gil Grissom: What do anda think?
Sara Sidle: I think I feel fat.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Lady Heather's Box (#3.15)" (2003)
[at Lady Heather's front door]
Gil Grissom: I'd like to come in.
Lady Heather: I'm sure anda do. Say the magic word.
Captain Jim Brass: Warrant.
Gil Grissom: I owe anda an apology.
Lady Heather: Apologies are just words.
Captain Jim Brass: We are going back to Lady Heather's.
Gil Grissom: I can take care of this myself.
Captain Jim Brass: Gil, do me a favor. Get a sport car. It's a lot cheaper and easier to handle.
Lady Heather: Unfortunately the language we speak in here doesn't necessarily translate to the world out there.
Gil Grissom: No, in here, the submissive has the power... all he has to do is say the safety word and everything stops.
Lady Heather: Very good, Mr. Grissom.
Gil Grissom: I'm just repeating what I've heard.
Lady Heather: You're a good listener.
Gil Grissom: Part of the job.
Lady Heather: So, this is work?
Gil Grissom: Yes, but I value your insight.
Lady Heather: I'm flattered... but anda already seem to know the jawaban to your questions. anda keep me in proximity when I walk away
[she moves closer to him]
Lady Heather: and when I'm close anda watch my lips. Are anda losing your hearing?
Gil Grissom: I'm losing my balance.
Lady Heather: Your sense of self?
Gil Grissom: No, I know who I am.
Lady Heather: Do you?
Gil Grissom: Yes... I do.
[he touches one side of her cheek with one hand then the other with his other hand]
Gil Grissom: anda can always say "stop".
Lady Heather: So can you.
Gil Grissom: There's seminal fluid all over the place.
Sara Sidle: Is this a dance club atau a sex club?
Warrick Brown: A little of both. Don't anda cinta this town?
Sara Sidle: Whatever anda say, Superfly.
Lady Heather: Do anda like my lipstick?
Gil Grissom: Why?
Lady Heather: You've been staring at my lips.
Gil Grissom: anda have very lovely lips.
[Brass looks back between the two and then goes back to processing]
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Viva Las Vegas (#5.1)" (2004)
Gil Grissom: This is your proficiency test, Greg. anda might want to work the scene.
Gil Grissom: What's this blue stuff on the slide and the grip?
[pause]
Gil Grissom: It's okay to say anda don't know, Greg. That's why we have a trace lab.
[Greg is introducing his replacement, Chandra, to the lab]
Gil Grissom: Did anda get her blood yet?
Chandra Moore: What for?
Gil Grissom: So many reasons.
Gil Grissom: Hey, Grissom anda got something stuck on your shoe.
Gil Grissom: [looks]
Captain Jim Brass: Oh, no; it's just Sanders.
Greg Sanders: Duct tape. So the shooter stuck the gun in the toilet earlier to avoid the metal detector.
Gil Grissom: Echoes of Michael Corleone.
Greg Sanders: I can tell anda that the toilets in the club had blue water.
Gil Grissom: anda inspected the toilet bowls for evidence?
Greg Sanders: Well, when anda got to go, anda got to go.
Gil Grissom: At a crime scene, Greg?
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Grave Danger: Volume 2 (#5.25)" (2005)
[Nick is being taken to the hospital, with Catherine and Warrick accompanying him. Ecklie and Grissom watch the ambulans leave]
Gil Grissom: I want my guys back.
[Nick is lying in the coffin]
Gil Grissom: Pancho! Listen to me. Put your hand on my hand. Good. Now listen. There may be explosives under the box.
Nick Stokes: [in the coffin; saying good bye to his family and friends; speaking to Grissom] I disappointed you.
Gil Grissom: [at the lab watching the video] No anda never did, Nick.
Nick Stokes: [Nick is seen on video feed saying something unheard, possible "I never meant to disappoint you."]
Gil Grissom: anda never did, Nicky.
Gil Grissom: Alright, Poncho, we're gonna open the lid and get anda out, but I need anda to stay lying dowm. Okay? atau else you'll blow us all up. anda understand that?
Nick Stokes: Yeah, yeah.
Gil Grissom: Do anda promise, Poncho?
[Nick nods]
Gil Grissom: Say I promise.
Nick Stokes: [crying] I promise.
[first lines]
[paramedic checks Grissom after explosion]
Paramedic: Pupils are even.
Gil Grissom: [to himself] He blew himself up and left us with nothing.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Pledging Mr. Johnson (#1.4)" (2000)
Catherine Willows: Now tell me, why are we here?
Gil Grissom: Because this is the only place within 10 miles of Caulville teluk, da? that serves Calamari.
Catherine Willows: And anda know this because...?
Gil Grissom: I come here for calamari.
Catherine Willows: Alone?
Gil Grissom: No. Sometimes I have a bir with it.
Catherine Willows: You're right, anda know. I should be just like you. Alone in my hermetically sealed condo, watching Discovery on the big screen, working genius-level crossword puzzles. But no relationships, no chance any will slop over into a case. Yeah, right. I want to be just like you.
Gil Grissom: Technically it's a townhouse. And the crosswords are advanced, not genius. But you're right, I'm deficient in a lot of ways. But I never screw up one of my cases with personal stuff.
Catherine Willows: Grissom... WHAT personal stuff?
[after a huge argument]
Gil Grissom: Look, could we have a truce?
Catherine Willows: I would cinta to.
Gil Grissom: I think anda scared him, all his hairs are standing up.
Gil Grissom: So, was the perahu at the marina?
Catherine Willows: What do anda think?
Gil Grissom: My labah-labah, laba-laba sense says it wasn't.
Gil Grissom: [to Sanders] Keep thinking Butch, that's what you're good at.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Primum Non Nocere (#2.16)" (2002)
[Gil and Catherine are investigating the bedroom of a stockbroker who was killed playing hockey]
Catherine Willows: It's never a good sign when a guy has lebih women than chairs.
Gil Grissom: What's the ratio here?
Catherine Willows: Judging from these stains, I'd say four women for every piece of furniture including the TV. At least we know what this guy was about - bucks, pucks and... chicks.
[upon discovering massive amounts of weapons present at a hockey game]
Gil Grissom: It looks like these guys went to a fight and a hockey game broke out.
Gil Grissom: There are three things people cinta to stare at: A rippling stream, a sunset, and a Zamboni going around and around.
Sara Sidle: Charlie Brown... I cinta a Zamboni.
Sara Sidle: Since when are anda interested in beauty?
Gil Grissom: Since I met you.
Dr. Al Robbins: What is it about organized sports?
Gil Grissom: Well, organized sports is the paradigmatic model of a just society... Everyone knows the same language, everyone knows the rules, and there's a specific punishment handed out the moment someone tries to cheat. It's instant morality.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Weeping Willows (#5.22)" (2005)
Gil Grissom: Did anda hear the one about the cop and the monkey who walk into a bar?
Catherine Willows: I'm not in the mood.
Gil Grissom: Neither was the monkey.
Gil Grissom: This is a .25 caliber.
Dr. Al Robbins: What, disappointed?
Gil Grissom: We found a .22 in the victim's car. This just ruled that out as the murder weapon.
Dr. Al Robbins: So shoot me.
David Hodges: The metallic balls would've been released into the air during the welding process.
Gil Grissom: So you're saying our killer has metal balls?
David Hodges: Yes. Maybe. Turns out that the victim worked in a car dealership, so she could've gotten metal balls on the job. And just in case you're wondering, working here, I'm developing them too.
[Grissom smirks]
[last lines]
Catherine Willows: Gil. I'd ask anda out for a drink, but under the circumstances, it's, ah...
[Grissom ignores her]
Catherine Willows: OK, how long is this going to go on?
Gil Grissom: I don't know, Catherine.
Catherine Willows: Gil, it was an act of omission.
Gil Grissom: How many times have we heard a public defender say that?
Catherine Willows: I went out after work. Is it a crime to want a little human contact?
Gil Grissom: I guess that's why I don't go out.
Gil Grissom: [to Catherine Willows regarding the possibility of her private life being scrutinized in an investigation] We all live in glass houses, just be careful where anda take your shower.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Committed (#5.21)" (2005)
Gil Grissom: Crazy atau not, here we come.
Gil Grissom: Sex is the foreplay, violence is the climax.
Sara Sidle: When my father died, my mother came to a place like this for a while for evaluation.
[pause]
Sara Sidle: It looked the same, it smelled the same. It smelled like lies.
Gil Grissom: anda sure you're OK?
Sara Sidle: Crazy people do make me feel crazy.
[last lines]
Gil Grissom: Well, jail atau no jail - I don't think she'll last six months. She'll die without her son.
Sara Sidle: That would be better for both of them.
Dr. Al Robbins: Let's start with the stomach contents. They're fascinating. They reminded me of that scene in Jaws where Dreyfuss cuts open the sharks belly and all sorts of weird things come out?
Gil Grissom: anda found a license plate?
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: meja Stakes (#1.15)" (2001)
Gil Grissom: Have anda got the DNA results from the fingernail Catherine found?
Greg Sanders: Yeah. They're not a match to Patrick Haynes.
Gil Grissom: I never figured a man for the fingernail, Greg.
Greg Sanders: But this is where anda break out the can of creep repellent. Half of the DNA markers are in common.
Gil Grissom: A possible first degree relative?
Gil Grissom: OK, I'm starting to forgive you.
Gil Grissom: The Old Testament? The book of Jonah? And now the Lord arranged for a ikan to menelan up Jonah. anda know what the problem with these piranhas is? They got high cholesterol. ikan don't have cholesterol. Humans do. So how did these ikan acquire human cholesterol?
Catherine Willows: What's with the smile?
Gil Grissom: They're playing our song.
Catherine Willows: Caught in the act.
Gil Grissom: I think that was the point.
Catherine Willows: Oh, yeah.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Chaos Theory (#2.2)" (2001)
Gil Grissom: We told them what happened.
Catherine Willows: Yeah. But we didn't give them what they needed - closure.
Gil Grissom: Truth brings closure.
Catherine Willows: Not always.
Gil Grissom: They have this system in place when anda went to school here?
Warrick Brown: With all the stuff me and my boys got away with, it's probably why they have them now.
Gil Grissom: anda showered.
Catherine Willows: Thanks for noticing Gil, you're very observant.
Gil Grissom: [studying a surveillance tape and inadvertently blocking Cath's view] Can't tell what I'm observing here. What does that look like?
Catherine Willows: A five-foot-eleven workaholic.
Warrick Brown: Where have anda been?
Gil Grissom: I can't be everywhere, and they've banned human cloning.
Gil Grissom: People just don't vanish, Jim. It's a molecular impossibility.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Harvest (#5.3)" (2004)
Gil Grissom: Nick. anda failed your firearm qualifications. anda can't be here.
Nick Stokes: Oh yeah, well, I'm takin' it again, hari after tomorrow. So I figured I could work.
Gil Grissom: Not in the field.
Nick Stokes: You're serious?
Gil Grissom: You're in violation just carrying a weapon.
Catherine Willows: [to Gil] Have anda been to bed?
Gil Grissom: Yes.
Catherine Willows: Did anda sleep?
[pauses]
Catherine Willows: Me neither. She was the same age as Lindsey. She was trying to hitchhike.
Gil Grissom: Where was she going?
Catherine Willows: Fremont Street.
Gil Grissom: Was she buying drugs?
Catherine Willows: No! She's twelve. She's... just so angry. She doesn't talk to me.
Gil Grissom: Well, if enough people knew what was out there hunting them, they'd never leave their house. I think anda need to sit her down.
Catherine Willows: Well, I don't want to scare her. I don't want my daughter to be this... frightened, paranoid kid who's always looking over her shoulder.
Gil Grissom: Catherine, there's a big difference between scaring her and preparing her. And all the reasons why anda should are in that room.
Gil Grissom: [to Sybil] Did anda injure yourself, Mrs. Perez?
Sybil Perez: [looks down and sees a bloodstain on her shirt] Oh, a nosebleed.
Gil Grissom: That's a lot of blood. I'm going to need to take your shirt.
Sybil Perez: Why?
Gil Grissom: If anda like, I can have someone follow anda halaman awal so that anda can change.
Sybil Perez: anda think we had something to do with it? Our daughter is missing. She's out there somewhere alone and scared. What are anda doing about that?
Gil Grissom: I'm just collecting evidence.
Sybil Perez: Fine. Here!
[removes her kemeja and throws it at Grissom]
Sybil Perez: Take it! Go find her!
Gil Grissom: Alicia's cause of death?
Dr. Al Robbins: Cardiopulmonary arrest.
Gil Grissom: Time of death?
Dr. Al Robbins: That's a little trickier. No solids in the stomach contents, just a milky liquid. Liver mortis was fixed and deep purple with a vitreous humor potassium level of 20 millimoles per liter with faint putrefaction. So, I'd say she's been dead about... 44 hours between midnight and 8:00 A.M., the hari of her kidnapping.
Gil Grissom: Which means April Perez was lying about the abduction.
Dr. Al Robbins: Yep. Story's got lebih holes than her sister's bones.
Daniel Perez: [to Grissomm in a church] I didn't realize until... today... how lucky I am. I know pretty much... how and when I'm gonna die. Most people don't. It's what they're afraid of.
Gil Grissom: Was your sister afraid?
Daniel Perez: Never. I'm 11 years older than her, and she took care of me. She was my best friend, and I miss her. As much pain as... I caused her... and she wouldn't give up, and she... she wouldn't let me, either. That's why... during the last relapse, I made my parents swear that it was the very last time.
Gil Grissom: But then your kidneys failed, and they broke their word, huh?
Daniel Perez: They told me they... swore not to fight the cancer, so this didn't count. I wasn't gonna lose this fight. I couldn't watch her suffer anymore.
Gil Grissom: This wasn't a mercy killing, Daniel. This was an execution. Bone marrow, transfusions... that's her blood in your veins. It dripped out of your nose onto the blanket while anda were killing her. If anda cared so much for Alicia, why didn't anda take your own life instead of hers?
Daniel Perez: Suicide isn't an option. It's an unforgivable sin in the eyes of God.
Gil Grissom: But anda believe that your god forgives murder? If that's your defense, it won't keep anda out of jail.
Daniel Perez: [in tears, crying] But my death will. See, I've got about six lebih months. I'll be dead before there's even a trial. I-I do want to thank you, though.
Gil Grissom: For what?
Gil Grissom: For speaking for Alicia. You're probably the first person in her life to think only of her. anda know, anda may not believe in God, sir, but anda do his work.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Lab Rats (#7.20)" (2007)
Gil Grissom: Can anda smell that?
Dr. Al Robbins: Yes.
Gil Grissom: anda shouldn't be able to smell that though your suit.
Dr. Al Robbins: Good to know.
Gil Grissom: It's just a tikus fellas, why anda wearing the hazmat gear?
David Phillips: He made me do it.
Dr. Al Robbins: It's a wild animal covered with potentially biohazardous material, with claws. Rabies, scabies, AIDS, hepatitis, I'm thinking of this suit as a giant rubber glove.
Gil Grissom: Did anda know that rodents have skeletons with flexible joints?
Dr. Al Robbins: No.
Gil Grissom: If they can get their head through something, the rest of their body can contort to fit. They can crawl into spaces as small as a quarter.
Dr. Al Robbins: Lousy varmints.
[on seeing the fried rat, Doc laughs]
Dr. Al Robbins: Bastard hit the main line.
Dr. Al Robbins: [sarcastically] Nice work.
Gil Grissom: At least I tried to get him... Where were you?
Dr. Al Robbins: I *hate* rats.
Gil Grissom: Why are anda guys wearing hazmat suits?
David Phillips: He made me!
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: kucing in the Cradle... (#2.20)" (2002)
Greg Sanders: [Grissom and Catherine walk in on Greg listening to loud music] Could have been a rock star.
Gil Grissom: [music stops] There's still time, Greg.
Greg Sanders: I'm like a sponge: I just absorb information.
Gil Grissom: I thought that was my line.
Greg Sanders: Yeah - and I absorbed it.
Greg Sanders: I'm like a sponge: I just absorb information.
Gil Grissom: I thought that was *my* line.
Greg Sanders: Yeah, and I absorbed it.
[after witnessing a child ignoring her mother]
Gil Grissom: [to Catherine] My mother may have been deaf but she was still the boss.
Greg Sanders: [Grissom and Catherine walk into Greg's lab to see him rocking out to blaring rock and roll music] I could have been a rock star.
Gil Grissom: There's still time, Greg. Tell us about the foreign substance we found in the vic's wound track.
Greg Sanders: Uh, well, I like to rub it all over a lady's body. Even better... I, uh... like it when she rubs it all over me. And it's also used as a bangku softner.
Catherine Willows: It's also the only open lead in our case. Spit it out, Greg.
Greg Sanders: Mineral oil.
Gil Grissom: Possibly used as a preservative to prevent rusting of high-carbon steel.
Catherine Willows: Like the blades of knives.
Greg Sanders: Old knives. New ones are made from stainless steel. Yeah, I'm like a sponge. I just absorb information.
Gil Grissom: I thought that was my line.
Greg Sanders: Yeah, and I absorbed it.
Catherine Willows: Okay, so... knives, screwdrivers, ice pick, letter opener. We're looking for a weapon with a splash of mineral oil. I'll grab the ALS.
Greg Sanders: An ALS. For mineral oil?
Gil Grissom: Mineral oil fluoresces at 525 nanometers when filtered through a kv590. A little lebih absorbing... a little less rock and roll.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: friends & pasangan (#1.5)" (2000)
Gil Grissom: Teenage wasteland.
Warrick Brown: Who?
Gil Grissom: Yeah!
Gil Grissom: Someone chased this kid to death.
Gil Grissom: [to Ethan] Let me tell anda something, Humbert. You're twice the age of these kids, and half of them couldn't find their own pantat, keledai with a map. anda prey on innocent children, concocting God-knows-what from God-knows-where, selling Russian Roulette in a bottle and anda think we came all the way out here to bust anda for possession, anda dumb punk? I'm gonna get anda for murder. Cool?
Warrick Brown: Where are anda going?
Gil Grissom: Away.
[Rides a rollercoaster alone]
Gil Grissom: I was flying to a seminar in New Hampshire a couple of summers ago. I was sitting in the plane selanjutnya to a Philosophy Professor from Harvard. He told me this story about how every morning he takes a leak right after his three-hour philosophy class. He flushed the toilet, there'd be this tiny brown labah-labah, laba-laba fighting for its life against the swirling water. He came back the selanjutnya day, flush. Same spider, clawing its way back from oblivion. A week goes by, he decides to liberate the spider. Grabs a paper towel, scoops him up and sets him on the floor in the corner of the stall. Comes back the selanjutnya day, and what do anda think happened to the spider?
Warrick Brown: Dead.
Gil Grissom: On his back, eight legs in the air. Why? Because one life imposed itself on another. Right then I realized where we stand. I understood our role. We don't impose our will. We don't impose our hopes on the evidence.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Nesting boneka (#5.13)" (2005)
Sara Sidle: [Sara and Grissom sit facing each other. The light from the setting sun filters through the darkening room] It's funny... the things that anda remember and the things that anda don't, anda know. There was a smell of iron in the air. Cast-off on the bedroom wall. There was this young cop puking his guts. I remember the woman who took me to foster care. I can't remember her name, which is strange, anda know, 'cause I couldn't let go of her hand.
Grissom: Well... the mind has its filters.
Sara Sidle: I do remember the looks. I became the girl whose father was stabbed to death. Do anda think there's a murder gene?
Grissom: I don't believe that genes are a predictor of violent behavior.
Sara Sidle: anda wouldn't know that in my house. The fights, the yelling, the trips to the hospital. I thought it was the way that everybody lived. When my mother killed my father, I found out that it wasn't.
[Sara starts to cry. Grissom reaches out and holds her hand]
[last lines]
Grissom: [about Sara] She's a great criminalist, Conrad. And I need her.
Conrad Ecklie: I'm sure anda do. anda know what? She's a loose meriam with a gun. And she's all yours.
[Grissom comes to Sara's residence]
Sara Sidle: Well, if you're here, it can't be good... Can I get anda anything?
Grissom: Sure. An explanation.
Grissom: It's from The Big Chill. One of the characters explaining a basic fact of life - that rationalizations are lebih important to us than sex even.
Conrad Ecklie: I thought I was clear.
Grissom: anda were. Now let me be clear. Sara's behavior is a direct result of my management.
Conrad Ecklie: So I should api you.
Grissom: But anda won't.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Evaluation hari (#1.22)" (2001)
[Warrick and Grissom are on a roller coaster]
Warrick Brown: What happened to my evaluation?
Gil Grissom: You're sitting on it.
Gil Grissom: [to a waiter] Excuse me, do anda recognize this ear?
[about a decapitation case]
Catherine Willows: Definitely a crime of passion.
Gil Grissom: anda think a female did this?
Catherine Willows: I could have.
Gil Grissom: Scared of you.
Gil Grissom: Repeat after me. Silk, silk, silk.
Nick Stokes: Silk, silk, silk.
Gil Grissom: What do cows drink?
Nick Stokes: Milk.
Gil Grissom: Cows drink water. They give milk.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: 4x4 (#5.19)" (2005)
Captain Jim Brass: Let me get this straight, Larry. An old man refuses to let anda steal his money, so anda jack a Hummer and try to run over his taco stand?
Lawrence Lafontaine: Maybe.
Gil Grissom: I think this is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
[last lines]
Gil Grissom: Tough shift, huh?
Nick Stokes: Just another hari in paradise.
Judy Tremont: [answering the phone] Crime Lab. How can we help you?
[first lines]
Officer Metcalf: This is the best taco I ever had.
Gil Grissom: I'm happy for anda both.
Captain Jim Brass: What, did anda piss off Ecklie again? This is a hit and run. I was expecting Greg Sanders.
Gil Grissom: We're slammed. Everybody's on a case.
Greg Sanders: This is just like that Edgar Allan Poe story where the victim's jantung under the floorboards betrays the murder.
Gil Grissom: "The Tell-Tale Heart". I thought anda didn't like membaca the classics.
Greg Sanders: I do when they're about dismembered bodies.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: To Halve and to Hold (#1.14)" (2001)
Gil Grissom: It's interesting to me how anda always expect the worst.
Catherine Willows: anda see, that way I'm never disappointed. And sometimes I'm nicely surprised.
[Grissom was licking rocks to see if they're bones]
Gil Grissom: Could be a piece of wrist bone.
Catherine Willows: Well, do anda want to suck on it? To be sure?
Gil Grissom: Did anda know there are 206 bones in the human body?
Catherine Willows: Yes professor. I too took osteology.
Catherine Willows: So, are anda thinking what I'm thinking?
Gil Grissom: How amazing the universe is. Everything made from the same carbon, stars to trees, trucks to human bones.
Catherine Willows: Uh, no, I was thinking that we have about 100 bone fragments. We could ID this body before the end of the shift.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Snuff (#3.8)" (2002)
Gil Grissom: No bug spray!
Gil Grissom: Where's your crockpot, doc?
Teri Miller: I see you're learning to cook for yourself.
Gil Grissom: Well I had to, Teri, I heard anda were married.
Gil Grissom: oleh the way, the definition of the word retard is to hinder atau to hold someone back. I think your life is about to become retarded.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Down the Drain (#5.2)" (2004)
Greg Sanders: What are anda doing?
Gil Grissom: Good, your here.
[tosses him a plastic cup]
Gil Grissom: Fill this up for me, will ya.
Greg Sanders: With what?
Gil Grissom: It's a urine specimen cup, Greg, what do anda think?
Greg Sanders: [looks at the cup again]
[pauses]
Greg Sanders: Okay.
Sara Sidle: I don't have a death wish, and I'm not a drunk. In case anda were worried.
Gil Grissom: I'm not worried. I'm concerned.
Gil Grissom: That took a long time. anda may need a prostate exam.
Greg Sanders: My prostate is just fine!
[Greg's first autopsy]
Gil Grissom: Take a look at the trachea. What do anda see?
Greg Sanders: Foam... like the head of a beer.
[Grissom looks at him]
Greg Sanders: Sorry.
Gil Grissom: No. It's a good analogy.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Bully for anda (#2.4)" (2001)
Warrick Brown: I thought it was our job to speak for the victim no matter what it took... and to hell with the budgets.
Gil Grissom: Our job is to think, Warrick. Machinery should never matter lebih than our mind.
[investigating a murder in high school]
Warrick Brown: What were you: a jock atau a brain?
Gil Grissom: I was a ghost.
Gil Grissom: Let me guess. Decomp in an enclosed space? Lemons.
Gil Grissom: Sara, do anda have any duct tape in your kit?
Sara Sidle: Yeah. It's what I use to hold it together.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Blood Drops (#1.7)" (2000)
Catherine Willows: How's the little girl?
Sara Sidle: Uh, well, the *shrink* berkata she's in a catatonic state as a result of trauma. *I* could have told anda that. Oh, but she *did* respond to the name Buffalo.
Gil Grissom: Respond how?
Sara Sidle: She freaked out.
Gil Grissom: And, what are doing about that now?
Sara Sidle: Going back to the girl. She's out in the car. The windows are cracked. Hey, give me a little credit, she's at the hospital.
Gil Grissom: This is a Lady Macbeth. "Out, out damn spot!". There's not a trace of blood on the teen daughter's clothing. Not a spot!
Tina Collins: That was the last night he was going to touch her.
Gil Grissom: But why your mother? Why your brothers?
Tina Collins: Because they should have protected me.
Gil Grissom: You?
Tina Collins: I was young. I learned to deal. But when he went after my daughter.
Gil Grissom: Daughter? Who's...
Tina Collins: The father? I was 13 and nobody noticed that my clothes were getting bigger.
Conrad Ecklie: That's a career killer.
Gil Grissom: That's what's so sad, Conrad. anda see this as a career.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Rashomama (#6.21)" (2006)
Hodges: anda know, anda and me, we're not the marrying kind. The intricacies of our nature can never be understood oleh just one woman.
Gil Grissom: Would anda close the door, please?
[Hodges does so]
Gil Grissom: From the other side.
Gil Grissom: "You'd think she'd know better than to wear white on the bride's big day." Spring is but a song/Where cinta and laughter are not wrong/The blossoms of desire do belong/And Harmonia axyridus fly along.
Frank Rosetti: anda want to see a crime scene? I'll tampil anda a crime scene. C'mere, c'mere, look at this, huh?
[shows a smashed wedding cake]
Frank Rosetti: What this woman had against the color peach, I've never seen anything like it. "If anda think you're serving that flesh-colored abomination and I'm paying for it, anda can think again!" Boom! I'm a 42-year-old paisan; she scared me. I wouldn't be surprised if her pantyhose rebelled against her, tied themselves to the car, the dame was a pill. I swear to God, she may have taken two atau three years off my own life. Weddings are a blood, sweat and tears marathon, my friend. I'm on a tight schedule. 12 noon: I got first intro of the couple. 12:30: salad course. 12:45: first dance. 1 o'clock: chair dance, chicken dance, sapu dance - I don't care, I'm equal-opportunity. 1:30: main course. 2:15: first toast, groom's side. If the best man shuts his mouth, at 2:16 we have the first roti panggang of the bride's side. 3 o'clock: we cut the cake. 3:30: bouquet toss.
Gil Grissom: That's a tight schedule. She would have barely had time to go to the bathroom.
Frank Rosetti: I don't sell bridal diapers for nothing.
Greg Sanders: He was kidding about the diapers, right?
Jill Shoemaker: For the past six months she made my life Hell, and so I told anyone who would listen that she should die a fiery death. So now everyone's going to think that I killed her.
Gil Grissom: Would anda like to be lebih specific?
Jill Shoemaker: Okay, well, when we got engaged, she ran into the backyard and she screamed "Why, God, why me?" Okay, she wore white today! She, she, she invited Adam's very, very attractive, very, um, single ex-girlfriends. When she found out I had registered for sporting goods, she went behind my back and she changed the registry to housewares saying I had better learn how to cook! Okay, I'm a vegetarian, and she demanded roast beef! Um, oh and then there's the toast... the toast!
Gil Grissom: Are anda trying to make me think that anda didn't kill her?
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: bulu and Loathing (#4.5)" (2003)
[after finding traces of semen on Bud Simmons' cat costume]
Catherine Willows: Okay, well, I've heard of some guys getting off in some weird ways, but humping an animal suit? Whatever happened to normal sex?
Gil Grissom: What is normal sex?
Catherine Willows: So anda think it's natural for a grown man to only be intimate with a talking animal?
Gil Grissom: Well, Freud berkata that the only unusual sexual behavior was to have none at all. And after that, it was only a matter of opportunity and preference. And evidently, some people prefer the feel of bulu to the texture of human skin.
Catherine Willows: Well, I like hairy chests, but I'm not about to bop a six-foot weasel.
Gil Grissom: Whoa, this is incredibly detailed. Eyelashes, nostrils...
Catherine Willows: Oh yeah, that's what anda see out of. I once dated the Detroit Lions Mascot. Off season. Dutch was his name.
Gil Grissom: The breadth of your social experience never ceases to impress me.
Gil Grissom: Most mammals only copulate seasonally.
Catherine Willows: How boring.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Slaves of Las Vegas (#2.8)" (2001)
Gil Grissom: You're very good. anda could work for me.
Lady Heather: anda want to be my boss?
Gil Grissom: To get to the evidence, we may destroy the evidence.
Catherine Willows: Do anda get these haikus out of a book, atau do they just come to you?
Catherine Willows: I just realized that anda and I have a very healthy relationship.
Gil Grissom: We do?
Catherine Willows: When we have a problem, I don't paint Greg in latex and stick a straw up his nose.
Gil Grissom: Good. He'd probably like it.
Catherine Willows: You're supposed to say something revealing back to me.
Gil Grissom: Okay. I never told anyone this, Catherine.
[screen fades to black]
Gil Grissom: I notice anda have no foto of your family in your office.
Eileen Nelson: I know what they look like.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Cross-Jurisdictions (#2.22)" (2002)
[Catherine returns to Vegas from Miami]
Catherine Willows: Hello.
Gil Grissom: Hey. Nice tan.
Catherine Willows: Nice suit.
Gil Grissom: Yeah, well, I knew anda were coming back today, so I dressed up.
Catherine Willows: Yeah... right...
Gil Grissom: Really.
[Cath looks him up and down]
Gil Grissom: What?
Catherine Willows: Nothing. It's just unusual to... see anda dressed... like that.
Gil Grissom: I had to go to the chief's funeral.
Catherine Willows: Missed me that much, huh?
Dr. Al Robbins: How about Darier Disease?
Gil Grissom: Doesn't that give anda a rash that smells like human excrement? We're looking for something a little sweeter.
Dr. Al Robbins: Tuberculosis victims emit breath that smells of wet leaves.
Gil Grissom: Maple? Ash? Elm? What?
Dr. Al Robbins: I don't know.
Gil Grissom: I'm following my nacino.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Fallen Idols (#7.17)" (2007)
Gil Grissom: Men are never as mysterious as women wish they were.
Catherine Willows: [on seeing the crabs on the sleeping bag] Ugh.
Gil Grissom: anda okay?
[Catherine turns the monitor so that he can see the crabs]
Gil Grissom: Pthirus Pubis.
Catherine Willows: Yeah, crabs. I am buying Lindsey a chastity belt.
Gil Grissom: There's a... hole in the metal to let the urine pass, so theoretically, she could still get them.
Catherine Willows: anda are so creepy sometimes.
Sara Sidle: [about to shave Grissom's face] Do anda trust me?
Gil Grissom: Intimately.
[They wink at each other]
Warrick Brown: What's a fotografi teacher doing touching a student's van?
Gil Grissom: [mock seriously] Maybe she wanted a ride.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Compulsion (#5.17)" (2005)
Dr. Al Robbins: She was raped... The attack was brutal.
Gil Grissom: Aren't they always? I don't know why people think that rape has anything to do with sex.
Dr. Al Robbins: If a guy just wants sex, he can hire a hooker.
Gil Grissom: Maybe he's back in the game again, selling coke to out-of-town businessmen from the comfort and security of his hotel room.
Sara Sidle: So, he takes a break from his job, rapes and kills the vic at another hotel, and then goes back to work?
Gil Grissom: Even cokeheads need a diversion now and then.
Judge Witherspoon: It's one thing to send a print through AFIS, it's another thing to use a "background subtraction algorithm" to isolate the print from a bedspread.
Gil Grissom: It's not my fault that the courts lag behind our technology.
Gil Grissom: anda sniffed it?
[about evidence]
David Hodges: That disgust you?
Gil Grissom: No, actually, it's the first time you've ever done anything to impress me.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Living Doll (#7.24)" (2007)
Gil Grissom: hey Natalie. My name's Gil. It's so nice to finally meet you. I-um, probably shouldn't say this, but I'm a huge fan. I've been a crime scene investigator for 22 years, and worked over 2,000 homicides, and anda are oleh far... the best I've ever seen. I mean, you're such a great artist. And to be so young, and so talented, and... so pretty. I've thought about anda every night for the last nine months. I even tried to do what anda do. I built my own miniature.
[Natalie nods her head]
Gil Grissom: anda saw it? How'd I do?
[Natalie shrugs]
Gil Grissom: anda play chess?
[Natalie shakes her head]
Gil Grissom: I play. It's a hobby. Quiets my mind, anda know? Soothes me. At one point I became so consumed oleh it, that whenever I closed my eyes I could see the chess pieces moving all around the board. I was obsessed with correcting all my bad moves. I wondered if a game could ever be played without a mistake. I'd cinta to play anda sometime. I'm so impressed oleh the way anda embraced your passion. You'd make a great CSI. This last one was brilliant. anda studied our crime scene so well, tracking the car to the junkyard, and then towing it all the way out to the desert where anda knew we wouldn't find it. And then, the way anda killed Sara.
Natalie: [shaking her head] I didn't kill her.
Gil Grissom: anda didn't?
Natalie: [Natalie shakes her head] This is about her. Her, her, her. It's always about her.
Gil Grissom: No, it isn't Natalie. It's about you.
Natalie: [Natalie cuts him off] It's always about her.
[she takes a blade from her mouth and slashes Grissom's throat and watches as he bleeds. Then in a baby voice]
Natalie: Oh sad was the hari for the little bisque doll, for they cut all her stitches away, and found the kursi of the terrible ache. T'was a delicate task...
Gil Grissom: [not cut, for it was all in her imagination] Natalie listen to me. Tell me where she is.
Natalie: For none of the doctor's had ever before...
Gil Grissom: Natalie.
Natalie: ...performed on a dolly's inside...
Gil Grissom: Please tell me where Sara is.
Natalie: ...They tried to re-stuff her, but didn't know how, and this was her wail as she died...
Gil Grissom: [yelling] Stop it! Just stop this!
[shaking her]
Gil Grissom: Tell me where Sara is!
Natalie: ...I've got a pain in my sawdust. That's what's the matter with me.
[voice over, overturned car]
Natalie: Something is wrong on my little inside. I'm just as sick as can be. Don't let me faint, someone get a fan.
[a hand clawing at the ground from under the car]
Natalie: Someone please run for the medicine man. Everyone hurry as fast as anda can, 'cause I've got a pain in my sawdust.
Gil Grissom: My God. She was at the crime scene.
Nick Stokes: So she salvages the car, and somehow gets it out to the desert, and grabs Sara, and puts her under it?
Warrick Brown: I don't get it. What does Sara have to do with bleach?
Catherine Willows: I don't know. This just feels different.
Gil Grissom: It is different.
[flashback to crime scene where Grissom takes a camera from Sara and caresses her arm]
Gil Grissom: This girl holds me responsible for the death of Ernie Dell. I took away the only person she ever loved, so she's gonna do the same thing to me
[everyone looks confused]
Gil Grissom: I found a thriving miniature hobbyist community on-line. Sites where people meet, chat, exchange building tips, daftar stores they toko in.
Nick Stokes: [looking at the miniature of Grissom's office] So that's why anda built this thing? I mean... other then to creep us all out?
Gil Grissom: Somebody likes it cold.
Captain Jim Brass: Las Vegas in May plus global warming.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: No Humans Involved (#5.10)" (2004)
[Sofia thinks aloud]
Gil Grissom: She talks to herself.
Captain Jim Brass: It works for me.
Catherine Willows: Now tell me why anda really stopped by. anda checking up on me?
Gil Grissom: No.
Catherine Willows: What've anda heard? Who talked to you?
Gil Grissom: See? You've been on the job for a week and you're already paranoid.
Catherine Willows: Did anda ever play politics?
Gil Grissom: I once ran for president of the science club in junior high. Mary Hardy beat me out oleh one vote.
Catherine Willows: I'm going to guess that anda didn't vote for yourself.
Gil Grissom: I'm not any good at politics. And it's cost me. It's how I lost Nick and Warrick.
Catherine Willows: Your loss was my gain.
Gil Grissom: Yeah. And at least they're in good hands.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Burked (#2.1)" (2001)
Gil Grissom: It's been 24 minutes, Greg. When's this thing going to be done?
Greg Sanders: Well, with all due respect, sir, it's not a baked potato.
Greg Sanders: Did I ever tell anda I used to live in New York?
Gil Grissom: Is this going to be a short story atau a novel?
Gil Grissom: Would anda mind if I took a picture for my bite collection?
Walt Braun: Whatever rubs your Buddha.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Turn of the Screws (#4.21)" (2004)
Gil Grissom: Albert, dead men don't ride roller coasters.
Gil Grissom: [after a rollercoaster has derailed] Photograph the scene. Bag and tag all the detritus. mesin pengangkat barang, forklift anything bigger than Greg.
Gil Grissom: Bag and tag the detritus. mesin pengangkat barang, forklift anything bigger than Greg.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Leapin' Lizards (#7.22)" (2007)
Sara Sidle: [laying in tempat tidur watching Godzilla together] I always feel sorry for the monster.
Gil Grissom: Then anda better turn it off before they use the oxygen destroyer on him.
Gil Grissom: Did anda know that pigs are very intelligent animals? Right behind chimps, dolphins, and elephants.
Warrick Brown: Ahead of dogs?
Gil Grissom: And certain politicians.
Gil Grissom: Do anda believe that intelligent life exists on other planets?
Sara Sidle: I'm not sure there's intelligent life on this planet; I just was in the barn.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Big Shots (#7.19)" (2007)
Gil Grissom: [looking at a bullet casing] Fifty caliber, casing looks new. I bet it's from a Desert Eagle.
Hodges: atau a coffee shop. I could drink an espreso, espresso out of that thing.
Greg Sanders: This neighborhood rains lead.
Gil Grissom: Yeah, and we have to process every last drop of it.
Greg Sanders: We're going to make Bobby Dawson's perahu payment this month.
Greg Sanders: Open champagne bottle, white powder residue. Think it's coke?
Gil Grissom: [shining his flashlight on brain matter and skull fragments] Well then that must be his brain on drugs.
Greg Sanders: Party till anda drop.
Gil Grissom: atau get shot, which ever comes first.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Recipe for Murder (#3.11)" (2003)
[Grissom and Willows enter a restaurant to investigate the death of one of its chefs. The hostess stops answering a very busy phone and turns to them]
The Hostess: Hi, last name?
Gil Grissom: We don't have reservation. We're here...
The Hostess: [taking back the phone] Party of four? Three weeks from Thursday? Let me see...
Catherine Willows: Excuse me but anda don't understand...
The Hostess: [holding up the phone] No, I'm sorry anda don't understand. Your walk-in's in a very busy night. We're short a chef.
Catherine Willows: We know. He's dead.
Gil Grissom: Not only dead. Dismembered. We're with the crime lab.
The Hostess: [putting down the phone] I'll get the owner.
Gil Grissom: [Grissom to Willows, struggling to remove a dismembered hand caught in a meat grinder] I'm gonna need a hand.
Gil Grissom: [after identifying the dapur pisau used to dismember a chef] "Let us carve him as a dish fit for the gods"
Catherine Willows: I'm going to guess Shakespeare.
Gil Grissom: Julius Ceaser.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Iced (#5.23)" (2005)
Gil Grissom: [Grissom, Greg, and Sara investigate the death of two lovers] "For never was a story of lebih woe than this of Juliet and her Romeo."
Greg Sanders: Found a condom wrapper.
Gil Grissom: So much for aman, brankas sex.
[Sara looks disturbed]
Gil Grissom: And this must be Mr. Billmeyer. I'm so glad he's back.
Conrad Ecklie: Very funny.
Gil Grissom: anda might want to have Hodges analyze that cigar. Oh, and the print tech is free. He could, ah, spray the party hat with ninhydrin.
Conrad Ecklie: I think I remember how to do my job, Gil, thank you.
Gil Grissom: I cinta it when anda wear your gloves.
Greg Sanders: hey Grissom, when anda went to college did anda live in the dorms?
Gil Grissom: Surely, anda jest.
[Sara laughs]
Sara Sidle: anda know they say a BA is worth a million dollars of extra income over your life.
Gil Grissom: Yeah but the present value of college tuition is about the same amount.
Greg Sanders: So you're saying college isn't worth the expense?
Gil Grissom: I guess it depends on what anda learn.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Blood Lust (#3.9)" (2002)
Gil Grissom: [to Warrick] What do anda weigh?
Warrick Brown: Uh, that's between me and my trainer.
Gil Grissom: Do I have to get a scale?
Warrick Brown: A buck 95, give atau take a doughnut.
[Grissom turns to Sara]
Sara Sidle: Don't even ask, I'm not telling you.
Gil Grissom: Warrick, would anda lie down on the floor.
Warrick Brown: I don't get paid enough to play dead.
Gil Grissom: Please?
[Warrick gets on the floor]
Greg Sanders: I'm afraid I don't have time for your humour, Ecklie has a multiple, Warrick tells me his halaman awal invasion is puncak, atas of the heap and I'm still backed up with Catherine's no suspect rape. It's like one servant many masters, anda know what I'm saying?
Gil Grissom: Greg, this is your DNA lab. anda are the master. We serve you.
Greg Sanders: Your stuff just moved to the puncak, atas of the pile.
Gil Grissom: hey Doc, tell me something I don't know.
Dr. Al Robbins: When I was in fourth grade, I dropped karate because some kid half my size made me cry.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Unfriendly Skies (#1.9)" (2000)
Gil Grissom: [the group is re-enacting a fight on a plane, and Grissom is giving everyone their roles] Catherine, anda will be playing Dr. Behrle.
Catherine Willows: Single mom. What an imagination anda have.
Gil Grissom: High altitude enhances the entire sexual experience. It increases the euphoria.
Sara Sidle: Well, it's good. I don't know if it's that good... Cite your source.
Gil Grissom: Would anda hand me a swab please?
Sara Sidle: You're avoiding the question. Cite your source.
Gil Grissom: A magazine.
Sara Sidle: What magazine?
Gil Grissom: "Applied psychodynamics in forensic science".
Sara Sidle: Never heard of it.
Gil Grissom: I'll get anda a subscription.
Gil Grissom: I need to see their shoes.
Catherine Willows: Why are anda asking me?
Gil Grissom: Cause you're the people person, right?
Catherine Willows: Why don't anda tell them that? They're not giving me bubkas.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Bodies in Motion (#6.1)" (2005)
Officer Metcalf: My money's on meth lab.
Sara Sidle: anda know, Metcalf, just because somebody lives in a trailer park, doesn't mean they're a meth cook.
Officer Metcalf: anda guys are a real pain in the ass, anda know that?
Gil Grissom: Get used to it, pal.
Catherine Willows: So anda get the team back together only to break us apart again. What kind of a perverse game are anda playing here, Gil?
Gil Grissom: I'm not a pervert.
[last lines]
Archie Johnson: The tape was pretty mangled. Enhancement and noise cancellation increase intelligibility, but it alters timber and tone. So, I don't know there's any lebih I can do here. anda know, Nick recorded a message on the flip side of the tape. anda think maybe we should
Gil Grissom: [interrupts] No! This is between anda and me.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Alter Boys (#2.6)" (2001)
Father Powell: He needs spiritual guidance.
[Grissom looks at the suspect, then looks at the dead body]
Gil Grissom: Yeah, I imagine he does.
Father Powell: Ah. Then you'd have no problem with my talking to him.
Gil Grissom: It's the 11th hour. I wouldn't expect anything less.
Father Powell: Eleventh hour?
Gil Grissom: When the reality of their actions set in, they usually turn to religion.
Father Powell: Can anda think of a better time?
Gil Grissom: We both have jobs that begin after the crime.
Father Powell: After the sin.
Gil Grissom: Some people would call that a career in futility.
Father Powell: Some call it a vocation.
Father Powell: anda don't believe?
Gil Grissom: In religion. I believe in God, in science, in Sunday supper. I don't believe in rules that tell me how I should live.
Father Powell: Even if they're handed down oleh God?
Gil Grissom: How many crusades were fought in the name of God? How many people died because of someone's religion?
Father Powell: Fanaticism, not religion.
Gil Grissom: Semantics. They're still dead.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Ending Happy (#7.21)" (2007)
Sara Sidle: [after putting her hand in the water] Feels like bath water. It's gotta be ninety degrees. There's no way we're going to get an accurate TOD.
Gil Grissom: Places like this always keep their pools warm, it encourages the girls to swim topless. It's good for business.
[at Sara's look]
Gil Grissom: So they tell me.
Gil Grissom: Where's your coroner?
Sheriff Ned Bastille: Couldn't get him on the horn. Probably out in some barn, up to his elbows in a cow's vagina.
Sara Sidle: Excuse me?
Sheriff Ned Bastille: Oh yeah, coroner's a part time dokar, pertunjukan here in Bryant County. He's a veterinarian. That's his money gig.
Gil Grissom: Twenty-five people here last night, and nobody sees anything.
Tanya: [passing by] Nice hat honey.
Sara Sidle: So, uh, you've been to a place like this before?
Gil Grissom: I worked a murder/suicide at the Naughty Kitty once.
Sara Sidle: No, no. Come on, anda know what I mean.
Gil Grissom: As a customer? No.
Sara Sidle: You've never paid for sex?
Gil Grissom: I have not. I find the whole idea very... bleak.
Sara Sidle: Really? How come?
Gil Grissom: Sex should provide the opportunity for human connection, but paid sex does the opposite of that. To me, sex without cinta is... pointless. It makes anda sad.
Sara Sidle: Well, I'm pretty sure I don't make anda sad.
Gil Grissom: No. anda make me happy.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Butterflied (#4.12)" (2004)
[to the Doctor/Suspect leaving]
Gil Grissom: It's sad isn't it, Doc? A couple of middle aged guys like us, how we never really touch people unless we're wearing latex gloves. We wake up one morning and realize that for 50 years we haven't really lived at all... But then one day, someone young and beautiful offers to share their life with you, someone anda can care about. We have to give up everything we worked for to have them, I couldn't do it... but anda did. And she took that back didn't she? She gave anda something precious then anda took it back. So yo
Gil Grissom: anda gotta breathe through your ears, Gribbs.
Gil Grissom: I need anda to roll up your sleeve and give me a pint of your blood?
holly Gribbs: What for?
Gil Grissom: It's customary for all new hires.
holly Gribbs: Why?
Gil Grissom: So many reasons...
Warrick Brown: Where'd anda get the blood?
Gil Grissom: The new girl. Want to donate?
Warrick Brown: Hell, no.
[to a room full of dead corpses, after holly Gribbs was frightened into hysterics]
Gil Grissom: anda assholes!
Gil Grissom: Forget about your promotion Warrick, forget about making a hundred, forget about the husband, these things will only confuse you. Concentrate on what cannot lie: the evidence.
Gil Grissom: I know, berwarna merah muda, merah muda Floyd's not your thing.
Gina Harmon: I have on cowboy boots. I work in a lab. What makes anda think The Dark Side of the Moon synched to the Wizard of Oz is gonna warm my damn barn?
Gil Grissom: I just thought it'd be something different.
Gina Harmon: Wanna be different? Pin me up against a dinding and lay one on me like anda mean it.
Gil Grissom: Concentrate on what doesn't lie: the evidence.
Gil Grissom: Every hari we meet people on the worst hari of their lives.
Gil Grissom: We look at each case objectively, without presupposition, regardless of sex, creed, color, atau bubblegum flavor.
Gil Grissom: Pin anda against a wall?
holly Gribbs: [Upset after being locked in the morgue] There were bodies. I could feel them breathing.
Gil Grissom: [laughs] It's okay, Holly. It's alright.
[Yelling to the bodies]
Gil Grissom: anda assholes!
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Secrets & Flies (#6.6)" (2005)
UnderSheriff McKeen: What are anda doing?
Gil Grissom: Circling blowflies.
UnderSheriff McKeen: Why?
Gil Grissom: 'Cause dead flies tell no lies.
[Grissom doesn't answer his phone]
Catherine Willows: Who do anda keep avoiding?
Gil Grissom: Ecklie.
Catherine Willows: Ah, that means anda should answer it.
Gil Grissom: No, he just wants to yell at me because I'm late with the personnel evaluations. It can wait.
Sofia Curtis: Grissom, Ecklie has been looking for you. Is your cell not working?
Gil Grissom: What are anda doing here?
Sofia Curtis: Well, apparently, I was a CSI, then a detective, but now I'm a messenger. You're needed at the lab ASAP.
Gil Grissom: Why?
Sofia Curtis: I have no idea. But the undersheriff's camped out in the break room.
Gil Grissom: The science in these textbooks is sound, but the tape is lebih than enough to get reasonable doubt.
Conrad Ecklie: Well, there's no doubt in my mind that Thayer worked his science to get the jawaban the defense needed.
Gil Grissom: I just finished your eval.
Catherine Willows: And?
Gil Grissom: In the komentar section, I noted that if anda had my job, these evaluations wouldn't be late.
Catherine Willows: Thank you.
Catherine Willows: [about Thayer] The guy's an ass.
Gil Grissom: He used to be a competent scientist. We actually co-authored a paper together 10 years ago. I believe greed has gotten in his way.
Catherine Willows: Well, I've seen him on the stand. He manipulates evidence.
Gil Grissom: He manipulates people. The public assumes that scientists are ethical, but many of us are no better than politicians, evidently.
Catherine Willows: I don't know who killed Christina Adalian, I don't know how she got pregnant, and I don't know the identity of the baby's biological parents.
Gil Grissom: It's always good to know what anda don't know.
[Grissom walks in]
Henry Andrews: Why did the fly fly?
Gil Grissom: Because the labah-labah, laba-laba spied her.
[pause]
Gil Grissom: Catherine's daughter told me that when she was three.
Mark Thayer: anda impugned my character.
Gil Grissom: What character?
Mark Thayer: This is all your fault.
Gil Grissom: I hope so.
[last lines]
UnderSheriff McKeen: So, Grissom, I'm not sure of your ambitions, but if you're interested in taking on lebih responsibility, maybe a promotion, I'd be glad to pass...
Gil Grissom: [interrupts] anda know, Oscar Wilde once said: "Ambition is the last refuge of failure." I'm fine. Thanks.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Sex, Lies and Larvae (#1.10)" (2000)
Captain Jim Brass: We ID'd the body and located the husband...
Gil Grissom: Let me guess - downtown, Freemont district?
Captain Jim Brass: anda know, I'm not even gonna ask.
Sara Sidle: What if... anda can hear the victim's screams? In the car, atau at the store.
Gil Grissom: anda have empathy for her, Sara. anda want someone to pay for what was done to her. That's normal.
Sara Sidle: [pauses] anda want to sleep with me?
Gil Grissom: [looks up at her] Did anda just say what I think anda said?
Sara Sidle: That way, when I wake up in cold sweat under the blanket, hearing Kaye's screams, anda can tell me it's nothing, it's just empathy.
Sara Sidle: What if... anda can hear the victim's screams. In the car, atau at the store.
Gil Grissom: anda have empathy for her, Sara. anda want someone to pay for what was done to her. That's normal.
Sara Sidle: [pauses] anda want to sleep with me?
Gil Grissom: [looks up at her] Did anda just say what I think anda did?
Sara Sidle: That way, when I wake up in cold sweat under the blanket, hearing Kaye's screams... anda can tell me it's nothing. It's just empathy.
Scott Shelton: Like I said, I'd wrestle her off me, but I never, ever, laid a hand on her.
Sara Sidle: How 'bout a gun?
[glares at him]
Scott Shelton: [looks to Grissom]
[scoffs]
Scott Shelton: anda have your hands full with her.
Gil Grissom: So do you.
Gil Grissom: You've still got to convince a jury.
Sara Sidle: On bullets. It's got to be better than bugs.
[Grissom looks at her]
Sara Sidle: Less Latin.
Sara Sidle: You're the one who berkata one, piece of evidence is better than ten eyewitnesses.
Gil Grissom: What do anda tape everything I say?
[Sara shrugs]
Scott Shelton: [after Sara finds blood that has been wiped clean off the wall] I have no idea how it got there.
Sara Sidle: Oh... How it "got there" was when anda shot your wife in the head, wrapped her in a blanket and left her on the side of a mountains!
[Points her finger in his face]
Scott Shelton: Get that finger out of my face, bitch!
[He pushes her finger away, and she pushes him back]
Gil Grissom: Sara!
[Grissom pulls her back]
Sara Sidle: anda touch me again, anda draw back a stump!
Scott Shelton: Look at her.
Gil Grissom: Sara!
Captain Jim Brass: Can't anda control her?
Gil Grissom: Get him out of here, Jim!
Scott Shelton: I told anda she was a handful.
Sara Sidle: anda don't know a handful!
[Brass leaves with Scott Shelton]
Gil Grissom: Hey, Sara, what's the matter with you?
Sara Sidle: I am a woman, and I have a *gun* and look how he treated me! I can only *imagine* how he treated his wife!
[walks away]
Captain Jim Brass: So, anda planning a little late-night luau? Roast pig?
Gil Grissom: It's an experiment. Maybe Kaye was dead five days.
Captain Jim Brass: I thought your bugs never made mistakes.
Gil Grissom: They don't. People do. The victim was wrapped in a blanket. Normally a blanket atau clothing doesn't impact insect maturation. The insects usually fight their way in anyway. But I examined the folds in Kaye's blanket. She was wrapped tight - -maybe tighter than I realized - -which would have decreased the corpse's exposure to insects.
Captain Jim Brass: So it took longer for the insects to get in there?
Gil Grissom: And deposit their eggs. Maybe two whole days. I've wrapped porky here pretty tight.
Captain Jim Brass: Well, let me ask anda this. anda killed a pig just for this?
Gil Grissom: This poor ham was already on its way to someone's natal makan malam table.
Captain Jim Brass: Wouldn't a rabbit be easier?
Gil Grissom: Gotta be a pig. Interestingly, they're the most like humans.
Captain Jim Brass: Yeah, I've been saying that since I was a rookie.
Scott Shelton: [after Sara discovers blood that has been wiped clean off the wall] I have no idea how it got there.
Sara Sidle: Oh... How it got there was when anda shot your wife in the head, wrapped her in a blanket and left her on the side of a mountain. *Dead*!
[points her finger in his face]
Scott Shelton: Get that finger out of my face!
[they fight]
Captain Jim Brass: [shouts] Stop! That's enough!
[to Grissom]
Captain Jim Brass: Get her under control!
Gil Grissom: [shouts] Get him out of here, Jim!
Scott Shelton: Told anda she was a handful.
Sara Sidle: Oh, anda don't know a handful!
Gil Grissom: Hey, Sara, what's the matter with you?
Sara Sidle: I am a woman, and I have a gun and look how he treated me! I can only imagine how he treated his wife!
Scott Shelton: [after Sara discovers blood that has been wiped clean off the wall] I have no idea how it got there.
Sara Sidle: Oh... How it got there was when anda shot your wife in the head, wrapped her in a blanket and left her on the side of a mountain. *Dead*!
[points her finger in his face]
Scott Shelton: Get that finger out of my face!
[they fight]
Captain Jim Brass: [shouts] Stop! That's enough!
Captain Jim Brass: [to Grissom] Get her under control!
Gil Grissom: [shouts] Get him out of here, Jim!
Scott Shelton: Told anda she was a handful.
Sara Sidle: Oh, anda don't know a handful!
Gil Grissom: Hey, Sara, what's the matter with you?
Sara Sidle: I am a woman, and I have a gun and look how he treated me! I can only imagine how he treated his wife!
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Who Are You? (#1.6)" (2000)
[Eddie, Cath's ex is accused of rape]
Gil Grissom: What's the status?
Catherine Willows: Skin samples from under the women's fingernails are consistent with Ed's. I saw some bruises. But Eddie's style has always been very... involved. Vigorous.
Gil Grissom: ...Vigorous.
Warrick Brown: She's trying to tell anda Eddie likes it rough.
Catherine Willows: Thank you, Warrick.
[a skeleton is found in a house foundation]
Gil Grissom: oleh law, you've got to disclose everything: three bedrooms, two baths and a skeleton.
Gil Grissom: So. How's the thing Catherine passed off to anda going?
Warrick Brown: What thing?
Gil Grissom: The thing with Eddie Willows?
Warrick Brown: Er, good.
Gil Grissom: anda called the DMV yet?
Warrick Brown: I was just about to.
Gil Grissom: Hmm. Warrick, why would anda call the DMV on a rape charge?
Warrick Brown: [looks at Catherine] If anda want me to suave anybody, I gotta know the shot.
Catherine Willows: I'm sorry. I didn't pass it off.
Gil Grissom: Really?
Catherine Willows: Got anything for me?
Gil Grissom: Yeah, but I can't give it to you. Conflict of interest.
Catherine Willows: Why?
Gil Grissom: The victim's an exotic dancer.
Catherine Willows: And because I used to *be* one, I'll be biased?
Gil Grissom: No. The suspect's your ex-husband.
Gil Grissom: anda bring in a specialist without consulting me?
Catherine Willows: What? And anda don't bring one in, possibly compromising the case because anda two had a relationship?
Gil Grissom: Relationship? I hardly know that woman.
Catherine Willows: Oh, so I guess that dopey look in your eye whenever she's around is just that.
Greg Sanders: It's not real sand. It's finely crushed granite.
Nick Stokes: What does that mean?
Gil Grissom: It means she wasn't killed in Hawaii. Other than that, he has no idea.
Teri Miller: It's not going to be easy, getting an impression off this.
Gil Grissom: They told me anda were the best forensic artist in the country.
Teri Miller: And Canada. I didn't say I couldn't do it.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: King Baby (#5.15)" (2005)
Gil Grissom: Question. anda come home, see your husband lying in the driveway, what do anda do?
Greg Sanders: ...Is that a trick question?
Captain Jim Brass: Welcome to the party.
Catherine Willows: [to Grissom & Ecklie] What's going on? This is my scene.
Conrad Ecklie: High profil case - woke up the supervisors. All hands on deck, Cath. Grissom's lead on this, he's the senior supervisor... I'm an administrator, I run interference for anda guys. Starting with the press.
Gil Grissom: It's nothing personal, Catherine. Cases like these rain down hard, anda need all the help anda can get.
Catherine Willows: I need help. Not supervision.
Gil Grissom: Count Basie berkata that it's the notes anda don't hear that matter.
Gil Grissom: I've enjoyed working with you.
Catherine Willows: Which part? The part where I got in your face atau the part where I, uh, lost evidence, or, uh, maybe anda just missed me?
Gil Grissom: I did miss you. I missed your passion and your tenacity. I even missed your tush.
Gil Grissom: It's only the truly powerful that have the luxury to relinquish power.
[last lines]
Gil Grissom: Where would anda go if anda had the connections and the cash to go anywhere anda wanted?
Captain Jim Brass: I hear Fiji's nice.
Gil Grissom: Eiger went further. He went all the way back to his childhood.
Captain Jim Brass: Yeah. I think I'd take Fiji.
Gil Grissom: Well, howdy! I was wondering: Do anda carry adult diapers?
Madge: Oh, we sure do! What are you: About a 34 atau a 36?
Gil Grissom: Well... they're not for me.
Madge: [she looks at Nick Stokes and smiles] Well, aren't anda lucky to have such a nice daddy?
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Formalities (#5.7)" (2004)
[first lines]
[Grissom struggles to tie a bowtie]
Catherine Willows: What are anda doing?
Gil Grissom: I'm going insane. I don't understand this diagram.
Catherine Willows: anda don't need a diagram. anda need a woman.
[stands behind him and successfully ties the tie]
Catherine Willows: I'm looking meneruskan, ke depan to your speech.
[Grissom's speech on a napkin]
Gil Grissom: What can I say about Conrad Ecklie?
Sofia Curtis: Sofia Curtis.
Gil Grissom: CSI-three, hari shift. anda work for Ecklie.
Sofia Curtis: As of tonight, so do you.
[Grissom leaves the ballroom and comes to the hotel]
Officer Metcalf: Hey, Griss. What's with the monkey suit?
Gil Grissom: I was at a funeral across the street.
Officer Metcalf: At a casino? My condolences.
Gil Grissom: Do anda always process like this?
Sofia Curtis: Like what?
Gil Grissom: With your mouth.
[Sofia tells something to Grissom who isn't paying attention to her]
Sofia Curtis: [pause] That time I was talking to you.
Gil Grissom: Huh?
[turns to her]
Gil Grissom: Sorry. I was, uh, treating it like white noise.
Catherine Willows: Why are anda talking to yourself?
Gil Grissom: I'm trying a new technique.
Catherine Willows: Is it working?
Gil Grissom: I have no idea.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Way to Go (#6.24)" (2006)
Bobby Dawson: But, boss, I don't think that's your murder weapon?
Gil Grissom: And anda know this how?
Bobby Dawson: Uh, here, I'll let Hawkeye tampil you.
Gil Grissom: [Grissom looks in the barrel of the gun] What is that?
Bobby Dawson: Well, Hodges will have to konfirmasi it but I'm pretty certain it's cream of wheat.
Gil Grissom: So he's a cereal killer.
Bobby Dawson: Snap, crackle and pop!
[Nick is looking for a victim's severed head]
Gil Grissom: hey Nick!
Nick Stokes: Yeah?
Gil Grissom: I think I found a toupee. Our vic may be bald.
Nick Stokes: Thanks. That will help me distinguish it from the other severed heads I find out here.
Gil Grissom: [the camera focus is on Grissom] I don't know. Most people want to die in their sleep, I suppose. Never know that it's happening, like a crime scene. Surprise, your dead.
[the camera has slowly spins around to reveal Grissom is in a bedroom]
Gil Grissom: I'd prefer to know in advance that I was going to die. I'd like to be diagnosed with cancer actually, have some time to prepare.
[Grissom sighs]
Gil Grissom: Go back to the rain forest one lebih time, re-read 'Moby Dick.'
[the camera is now behind Grissom and focus on a room. A female steps out wearing a white silky bathrobe]
Gil Grissom: Possibly enter an international chess tournament.
[the female walks towards Grissom and the camera focus stays only on her body]
Gil Grissom: At least have enough time to say 'goodbye' to the ones that I love.
[the female sits besides him. It's Sara]
Sara Sidle: I'm not ready to say 'Goodbye.'
[Sara smiles at him. The camera focus switches to Grissom who smiles back]
Bobby Dawson: Hodges will have to verify this, but I believe that is Cream of Wheat.
Gil Grissom: So he's a cereal killer?
Bobby Dawson: Snap, crackle, pop!
Greg Sanders: [about Brass]
[to Grissom]
Greg Sanders: Just between anda and me, does he always wear a suit?
Greg Sanders: Like when anda guys go to makan malam atau the film atau whatever it is when anda hang out.
Greg Sanders: Cause' I got to tell ya. The thought of him in a sweater, it freaks me out
Gil Grissom: We don't hang out, Greg.
Greg Sanders: No kidding, I just assumed
Gil Grissom: What do anda think?
Sara Sidle: I think I feel fat.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Lady Heather's Box (#3.15)" (2003)
[at Lady Heather's front door]
Gil Grissom: I'd like to come in.
Lady Heather: I'm sure anda do. Say the magic word.
Captain Jim Brass: Warrant.
Gil Grissom: I owe anda an apology.
Lady Heather: Apologies are just words.
Captain Jim Brass: We are going back to Lady Heather's.
Gil Grissom: I can take care of this myself.
Captain Jim Brass: Gil, do me a favor. Get a sport car. It's a lot cheaper and easier to handle.
Lady Heather: Unfortunately the language we speak in here doesn't necessarily translate to the world out there.
Gil Grissom: No, in here, the submissive has the power... all he has to do is say the safety word and everything stops.
Lady Heather: Very good, Mr. Grissom.
Gil Grissom: I'm just repeating what I've heard.
Lady Heather: You're a good listener.
Gil Grissom: Part of the job.
Lady Heather: So, this is work?
Gil Grissom: Yes, but I value your insight.
Lady Heather: I'm flattered... but anda already seem to know the jawaban to your questions. anda keep me in proximity when I walk away
[she moves closer to him]
Lady Heather: and when I'm close anda watch my lips. Are anda losing your hearing?
Gil Grissom: I'm losing my balance.
Lady Heather: Your sense of self?
Gil Grissom: No, I know who I am.
Lady Heather: Do you?
Gil Grissom: Yes... I do.
[he touches one side of her cheek with one hand then the other with his other hand]
Gil Grissom: anda can always say "stop".
Lady Heather: So can you.
Gil Grissom: There's seminal fluid all over the place.
Sara Sidle: Is this a dance club atau a sex club?
Warrick Brown: A little of both. Don't anda cinta this town?
Sara Sidle: Whatever anda say, Superfly.
Lady Heather: Do anda like my lipstick?
Gil Grissom: Why?
Lady Heather: You've been staring at my lips.
Gil Grissom: anda have very lovely lips.
[Brass looks back between the two and then goes back to processing]
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Viva Las Vegas (#5.1)" (2004)
Gil Grissom: This is your proficiency test, Greg. anda might want to work the scene.
Gil Grissom: What's this blue stuff on the slide and the grip?
[pause]
Gil Grissom: It's okay to say anda don't know, Greg. That's why we have a trace lab.
[Greg is introducing his replacement, Chandra, to the lab]
Gil Grissom: Did anda get her blood yet?
Chandra Moore: What for?
Gil Grissom: So many reasons.
Gil Grissom: Hey, Grissom anda got something stuck on your shoe.
Gil Grissom: [looks]
Captain Jim Brass: Oh, no; it's just Sanders.
Greg Sanders: Duct tape. So the shooter stuck the gun in the toilet earlier to avoid the metal detector.
Gil Grissom: Echoes of Michael Corleone.
Greg Sanders: I can tell anda that the toilets in the club had blue water.
Gil Grissom: anda inspected the toilet bowls for evidence?
Greg Sanders: Well, when anda got to go, anda got to go.
Gil Grissom: At a crime scene, Greg?
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Grave Danger: Volume 2 (#5.25)" (2005)
[Nick is being taken to the hospital, with Catherine and Warrick accompanying him. Ecklie and Grissom watch the ambulans leave]
Gil Grissom: I want my guys back.
[Nick is lying in the coffin]
Gil Grissom: Pancho! Listen to me. Put your hand on my hand. Good. Now listen. There may be explosives under the box.
Nick Stokes: [in the coffin; saying good bye to his family and friends; speaking to Grissom] I disappointed you.
Gil Grissom: [at the lab watching the video] No anda never did, Nick.
Nick Stokes: [Nick is seen on video feed saying something unheard, possible "I never meant to disappoint you."]
Gil Grissom: anda never did, Nicky.
Gil Grissom: Alright, Poncho, we're gonna open the lid and get anda out, but I need anda to stay lying dowm. Okay? atau else you'll blow us all up. anda understand that?
Nick Stokes: Yeah, yeah.
Gil Grissom: Do anda promise, Poncho?
[Nick nods]
Gil Grissom: Say I promise.
Nick Stokes: [crying] I promise.
[first lines]
[paramedic checks Grissom after explosion]
Paramedic: Pupils are even.
Gil Grissom: [to himself] He blew himself up and left us with nothing.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Pledging Mr. Johnson (#1.4)" (2000)
Catherine Willows: Now tell me, why are we here?
Gil Grissom: Because this is the only place within 10 miles of Caulville teluk, da? that serves Calamari.
Catherine Willows: And anda know this because...?
Gil Grissom: I come here for calamari.
Catherine Willows: Alone?
Gil Grissom: No. Sometimes I have a bir with it.
Catherine Willows: You're right, anda know. I should be just like you. Alone in my hermetically sealed condo, watching Discovery on the big screen, working genius-level crossword puzzles. But no relationships, no chance any will slop over into a case. Yeah, right. I want to be just like you.
Gil Grissom: Technically it's a townhouse. And the crosswords are advanced, not genius. But you're right, I'm deficient in a lot of ways. But I never screw up one of my cases with personal stuff.
Catherine Willows: Grissom... WHAT personal stuff?
[after a huge argument]
Gil Grissom: Look, could we have a truce?
Catherine Willows: I would cinta to.
Gil Grissom: I think anda scared him, all his hairs are standing up.
Gil Grissom: So, was the perahu at the marina?
Catherine Willows: What do anda think?
Gil Grissom: My labah-labah, laba-laba sense says it wasn't.
Gil Grissom: [to Sanders] Keep thinking Butch, that's what you're good at.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Primum Non Nocere (#2.16)" (2002)
[Gil and Catherine are investigating the bedroom of a stockbroker who was killed playing hockey]
Catherine Willows: It's never a good sign when a guy has lebih women than chairs.
Gil Grissom: What's the ratio here?
Catherine Willows: Judging from these stains, I'd say four women for every piece of furniture including the TV. At least we know what this guy was about - bucks, pucks and... chicks.
[upon discovering massive amounts of weapons present at a hockey game]
Gil Grissom: It looks like these guys went to a fight and a hockey game broke out.
Gil Grissom: There are three things people cinta to stare at: A rippling stream, a sunset, and a Zamboni going around and around.
Sara Sidle: Charlie Brown... I cinta a Zamboni.
Sara Sidle: Since when are anda interested in beauty?
Gil Grissom: Since I met you.
Dr. Al Robbins: What is it about organized sports?
Gil Grissom: Well, organized sports is the paradigmatic model of a just society... Everyone knows the same language, everyone knows the rules, and there's a specific punishment handed out the moment someone tries to cheat. It's instant morality.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Weeping Willows (#5.22)" (2005)
Gil Grissom: Did anda hear the one about the cop and the monkey who walk into a bar?
Catherine Willows: I'm not in the mood.
Gil Grissom: Neither was the monkey.
Gil Grissom: This is a .25 caliber.
Dr. Al Robbins: What, disappointed?
Gil Grissom: We found a .22 in the victim's car. This just ruled that out as the murder weapon.
Dr. Al Robbins: So shoot me.
David Hodges: The metallic balls would've been released into the air during the welding process.
Gil Grissom: So you're saying our killer has metal balls?
David Hodges: Yes. Maybe. Turns out that the victim worked in a car dealership, so she could've gotten metal balls on the job. And just in case you're wondering, working here, I'm developing them too.
[Grissom smirks]
[last lines]
Catherine Willows: Gil. I'd ask anda out for a drink, but under the circumstances, it's, ah...
[Grissom ignores her]
Catherine Willows: OK, how long is this going to go on?
Gil Grissom: I don't know, Catherine.
Catherine Willows: Gil, it was an act of omission.
Gil Grissom: How many times have we heard a public defender say that?
Catherine Willows: I went out after work. Is it a crime to want a little human contact?
Gil Grissom: I guess that's why I don't go out.
Gil Grissom: [to Catherine Willows regarding the possibility of her private life being scrutinized in an investigation] We all live in glass houses, just be careful where anda take your shower.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Committed (#5.21)" (2005)
Gil Grissom: Crazy atau not, here we come.
Gil Grissom: Sex is the foreplay, violence is the climax.
Sara Sidle: When my father died, my mother came to a place like this for a while for evaluation.
[pause]
Sara Sidle: It looked the same, it smelled the same. It smelled like lies.
Gil Grissom: anda sure you're OK?
Sara Sidle: Crazy people do make me feel crazy.
[last lines]
Gil Grissom: Well, jail atau no jail - I don't think she'll last six months. She'll die without her son.
Sara Sidle: That would be better for both of them.
Dr. Al Robbins: Let's start with the stomach contents. They're fascinating. They reminded me of that scene in Jaws where Dreyfuss cuts open the sharks belly and all sorts of weird things come out?
Gil Grissom: anda found a license plate?
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: meja Stakes (#1.15)" (2001)
Gil Grissom: Have anda got the DNA results from the fingernail Catherine found?
Greg Sanders: Yeah. They're not a match to Patrick Haynes.
Gil Grissom: I never figured a man for the fingernail, Greg.
Greg Sanders: But this is where anda break out the can of creep repellent. Half of the DNA markers are in common.
Gil Grissom: A possible first degree relative?
Gil Grissom: OK, I'm starting to forgive you.
Gil Grissom: The Old Testament? The book of Jonah? And now the Lord arranged for a ikan to menelan up Jonah. anda know what the problem with these piranhas is? They got high cholesterol. ikan don't have cholesterol. Humans do. So how did these ikan acquire human cholesterol?
Catherine Willows: What's with the smile?
Gil Grissom: They're playing our song.
Catherine Willows: Caught in the act.
Gil Grissom: I think that was the point.
Catherine Willows: Oh, yeah.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Chaos Theory (#2.2)" (2001)
Gil Grissom: We told them what happened.
Catherine Willows: Yeah. But we didn't give them what they needed - closure.
Gil Grissom: Truth brings closure.
Catherine Willows: Not always.
Gil Grissom: They have this system in place when anda went to school here?
Warrick Brown: With all the stuff me and my boys got away with, it's probably why they have them now.
Gil Grissom: anda showered.
Catherine Willows: Thanks for noticing Gil, you're very observant.
Gil Grissom: [studying a surveillance tape and inadvertently blocking Cath's view] Can't tell what I'm observing here. What does that look like?
Catherine Willows: A five-foot-eleven workaholic.
Warrick Brown: Where have anda been?
Gil Grissom: I can't be everywhere, and they've banned human cloning.
Gil Grissom: People just don't vanish, Jim. It's a molecular impossibility.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Harvest (#5.3)" (2004)
Gil Grissom: Nick. anda failed your firearm qualifications. anda can't be here.
Nick Stokes: Oh yeah, well, I'm takin' it again, hari after tomorrow. So I figured I could work.
Gil Grissom: Not in the field.
Nick Stokes: You're serious?
Gil Grissom: You're in violation just carrying a weapon.
Catherine Willows: [to Gil] Have anda been to bed?
Gil Grissom: Yes.
Catherine Willows: Did anda sleep?
[pauses]
Catherine Willows: Me neither. She was the same age as Lindsey. She was trying to hitchhike.
Gil Grissom: Where was she going?
Catherine Willows: Fremont Street.
Gil Grissom: Was she buying drugs?
Catherine Willows: No! She's twelve. She's... just so angry. She doesn't talk to me.
Gil Grissom: Well, if enough people knew what was out there hunting them, they'd never leave their house. I think anda need to sit her down.
Catherine Willows: Well, I don't want to scare her. I don't want my daughter to be this... frightened, paranoid kid who's always looking over her shoulder.
Gil Grissom: Catherine, there's a big difference between scaring her and preparing her. And all the reasons why anda should are in that room.
Gil Grissom: [to Sybil] Did anda injure yourself, Mrs. Perez?
Sybil Perez: [looks down and sees a bloodstain on her shirt] Oh, a nosebleed.
Gil Grissom: That's a lot of blood. I'm going to need to take your shirt.
Sybil Perez: Why?
Gil Grissom: If anda like, I can have someone follow anda halaman awal so that anda can change.
Sybil Perez: anda think we had something to do with it? Our daughter is missing. She's out there somewhere alone and scared. What are anda doing about that?
Gil Grissom: I'm just collecting evidence.
Sybil Perez: Fine. Here!
[removes her kemeja and throws it at Grissom]
Sybil Perez: Take it! Go find her!
Gil Grissom: Alicia's cause of death?
Dr. Al Robbins: Cardiopulmonary arrest.
Gil Grissom: Time of death?
Dr. Al Robbins: That's a little trickier. No solids in the stomach contents, just a milky liquid. Liver mortis was fixed and deep purple with a vitreous humor potassium level of 20 millimoles per liter with faint putrefaction. So, I'd say she's been dead about... 44 hours between midnight and 8:00 A.M., the hari of her kidnapping.
Gil Grissom: Which means April Perez was lying about the abduction.
Dr. Al Robbins: Yep. Story's got lebih holes than her sister's bones.
Daniel Perez: [to Grissomm in a church] I didn't realize until... today... how lucky I am. I know pretty much... how and when I'm gonna die. Most people don't. It's what they're afraid of.
Gil Grissom: Was your sister afraid?
Daniel Perez: Never. I'm 11 years older than her, and she took care of me. She was my best friend, and I miss her. As much pain as... I caused her... and she wouldn't give up, and she... she wouldn't let me, either. That's why... during the last relapse, I made my parents swear that it was the very last time.
Gil Grissom: But then your kidneys failed, and they broke their word, huh?
Daniel Perez: They told me they... swore not to fight the cancer, so this didn't count. I wasn't gonna lose this fight. I couldn't watch her suffer anymore.
Gil Grissom: This wasn't a mercy killing, Daniel. This was an execution. Bone marrow, transfusions... that's her blood in your veins. It dripped out of your nose onto the blanket while anda were killing her. If anda cared so much for Alicia, why didn't anda take your own life instead of hers?
Daniel Perez: Suicide isn't an option. It's an unforgivable sin in the eyes of God.
Gil Grissom: But anda believe that your god forgives murder? If that's your defense, it won't keep anda out of jail.
Daniel Perez: [in tears, crying] But my death will. See, I've got about six lebih months. I'll be dead before there's even a trial. I-I do want to thank you, though.
Gil Grissom: For what?
Gil Grissom: For speaking for Alicia. You're probably the first person in her life to think only of her. anda know, anda may not believe in God, sir, but anda do his work.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Lab Rats (#7.20)" (2007)
Gil Grissom: Can anda smell that?
Dr. Al Robbins: Yes.
Gil Grissom: anda shouldn't be able to smell that though your suit.
Dr. Al Robbins: Good to know.
Gil Grissom: It's just a tikus fellas, why anda wearing the hazmat gear?
David Phillips: He made me do it.
Dr. Al Robbins: It's a wild animal covered with potentially biohazardous material, with claws. Rabies, scabies, AIDS, hepatitis, I'm thinking of this suit as a giant rubber glove.
Gil Grissom: Did anda know that rodents have skeletons with flexible joints?
Dr. Al Robbins: No.
Gil Grissom: If they can get their head through something, the rest of their body can contort to fit. They can crawl into spaces as small as a quarter.
Dr. Al Robbins: Lousy varmints.
[on seeing the fried rat, Doc laughs]
Dr. Al Robbins: Bastard hit the main line.
Dr. Al Robbins: [sarcastically] Nice work.
Gil Grissom: At least I tried to get him... Where were you?
Dr. Al Robbins: I *hate* rats.
Gil Grissom: Why are anda guys wearing hazmat suits?
David Phillips: He made me!
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: kucing in the Cradle... (#2.20)" (2002)
Greg Sanders: [Grissom and Catherine walk in on Greg listening to loud music] Could have been a rock star.
Gil Grissom: [music stops] There's still time, Greg.
Greg Sanders: I'm like a sponge: I just absorb information.
Gil Grissom: I thought that was my line.
Greg Sanders: Yeah - and I absorbed it.
Greg Sanders: I'm like a sponge: I just absorb information.
Gil Grissom: I thought that was *my* line.
Greg Sanders: Yeah, and I absorbed it.
[after witnessing a child ignoring her mother]
Gil Grissom: [to Catherine] My mother may have been deaf but she was still the boss.
Greg Sanders: [Grissom and Catherine walk into Greg's lab to see him rocking out to blaring rock and roll music] I could have been a rock star.
Gil Grissom: There's still time, Greg. Tell us about the foreign substance we found in the vic's wound track.
Greg Sanders: Uh, well, I like to rub it all over a lady's body. Even better... I, uh... like it when she rubs it all over me. And it's also used as a bangku softner.
Catherine Willows: It's also the only open lead in our case. Spit it out, Greg.
Greg Sanders: Mineral oil.
Gil Grissom: Possibly used as a preservative to prevent rusting of high-carbon steel.
Catherine Willows: Like the blades of knives.
Greg Sanders: Old knives. New ones are made from stainless steel. Yeah, I'm like a sponge. I just absorb information.
Gil Grissom: I thought that was my line.
Greg Sanders: Yeah, and I absorbed it.
Catherine Willows: Okay, so... knives, screwdrivers, ice pick, letter opener. We're looking for a weapon with a splash of mineral oil. I'll grab the ALS.
Greg Sanders: An ALS. For mineral oil?
Gil Grissom: Mineral oil fluoresces at 525 nanometers when filtered through a kv590. A little lebih absorbing... a little less rock and roll.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: friends & pasangan (#1.5)" (2000)
Gil Grissom: Teenage wasteland.
Warrick Brown: Who?
Gil Grissom: Yeah!
Gil Grissom: Someone chased this kid to death.
Gil Grissom: [to Ethan] Let me tell anda something, Humbert. You're twice the age of these kids, and half of them couldn't find their own pantat, keledai with a map. anda prey on innocent children, concocting God-knows-what from God-knows-where, selling Russian Roulette in a bottle and anda think we came all the way out here to bust anda for possession, anda dumb punk? I'm gonna get anda for murder. Cool?
Warrick Brown: Where are anda going?
Gil Grissom: Away.
[Rides a rollercoaster alone]
Gil Grissom: I was flying to a seminar in New Hampshire a couple of summers ago. I was sitting in the plane selanjutnya to a Philosophy Professor from Harvard. He told me this story about how every morning he takes a leak right after his three-hour philosophy class. He flushed the toilet, there'd be this tiny brown labah-labah, laba-laba fighting for its life against the swirling water. He came back the selanjutnya day, flush. Same spider, clawing its way back from oblivion. A week goes by, he decides to liberate the spider. Grabs a paper towel, scoops him up and sets him on the floor in the corner of the stall. Comes back the selanjutnya day, and what do anda think happened to the spider?
Warrick Brown: Dead.
Gil Grissom: On his back, eight legs in the air. Why? Because one life imposed itself on another. Right then I realized where we stand. I understood our role. We don't impose our will. We don't impose our hopes on the evidence.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Nesting boneka (#5.13)" (2005)
Sara Sidle: [Sara and Grissom sit facing each other. The light from the setting sun filters through the darkening room] It's funny... the things that anda remember and the things that anda don't, anda know. There was a smell of iron in the air. Cast-off on the bedroom wall. There was this young cop puking his guts. I remember the woman who took me to foster care. I can't remember her name, which is strange, anda know, 'cause I couldn't let go of her hand.
Grissom: Well... the mind has its filters.
Sara Sidle: I do remember the looks. I became the girl whose father was stabbed to death. Do anda think there's a murder gene?
Grissom: I don't believe that genes are a predictor of violent behavior.
Sara Sidle: anda wouldn't know that in my house. The fights, the yelling, the trips to the hospital. I thought it was the way that everybody lived. When my mother killed my father, I found out that it wasn't.
[Sara starts to cry. Grissom reaches out and holds her hand]
[last lines]
Grissom: [about Sara] She's a great criminalist, Conrad. And I need her.
Conrad Ecklie: I'm sure anda do. anda know what? She's a loose meriam with a gun. And she's all yours.
[Grissom comes to Sara's residence]
Sara Sidle: Well, if you're here, it can't be good... Can I get anda anything?
Grissom: Sure. An explanation.
Grissom: It's from The Big Chill. One of the characters explaining a basic fact of life - that rationalizations are lebih important to us than sex even.
Conrad Ecklie: I thought I was clear.
Grissom: anda were. Now let me be clear. Sara's behavior is a direct result of my management.
Conrad Ecklie: So I should api you.
Grissom: But anda won't.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Evaluation hari (#1.22)" (2001)
[Warrick and Grissom are on a roller coaster]
Warrick Brown: What happened to my evaluation?
Gil Grissom: You're sitting on it.
Gil Grissom: [to a waiter] Excuse me, do anda recognize this ear?
[about a decapitation case]
Catherine Willows: Definitely a crime of passion.
Gil Grissom: anda think a female did this?
Catherine Willows: I could have.
Gil Grissom: Scared of you.
Gil Grissom: Repeat after me. Silk, silk, silk.
Nick Stokes: Silk, silk, silk.
Gil Grissom: What do cows drink?
Nick Stokes: Milk.
Gil Grissom: Cows drink water. They give milk.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: 4x4 (#5.19)" (2005)
Captain Jim Brass: Let me get this straight, Larry. An old man refuses to let anda steal his money, so anda jack a Hummer and try to run over his taco stand?
Lawrence Lafontaine: Maybe.
Gil Grissom: I think this is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
[last lines]
Gil Grissom: Tough shift, huh?
Nick Stokes: Just another hari in paradise.
Judy Tremont: [answering the phone] Crime Lab. How can we help you?
[first lines]
Officer Metcalf: This is the best taco I ever had.
Gil Grissom: I'm happy for anda both.
Captain Jim Brass: What, did anda piss off Ecklie again? This is a hit and run. I was expecting Greg Sanders.
Gil Grissom: We're slammed. Everybody's on a case.
Greg Sanders: This is just like that Edgar Allan Poe story where the victim's jantung under the floorboards betrays the murder.
Gil Grissom: "The Tell-Tale Heart". I thought anda didn't like membaca the classics.
Greg Sanders: I do when they're about dismembered bodies.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: To Halve and to Hold (#1.14)" (2001)
Gil Grissom: It's interesting to me how anda always expect the worst.
Catherine Willows: anda see, that way I'm never disappointed. And sometimes I'm nicely surprised.
[Grissom was licking rocks to see if they're bones]
Gil Grissom: Could be a piece of wrist bone.
Catherine Willows: Well, do anda want to suck on it? To be sure?
Gil Grissom: Did anda know there are 206 bones in the human body?
Catherine Willows: Yes professor. I too took osteology.
Catherine Willows: So, are anda thinking what I'm thinking?
Gil Grissom: How amazing the universe is. Everything made from the same carbon, stars to trees, trucks to human bones.
Catherine Willows: Uh, no, I was thinking that we have about 100 bone fragments. We could ID this body before the end of the shift.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Snuff (#3.8)" (2002)
Gil Grissom: No bug spray!
Gil Grissom: Where's your crockpot, doc?
Teri Miller: I see you're learning to cook for yourself.
Gil Grissom: Well I had to, Teri, I heard anda were married.
Gil Grissom: oleh the way, the definition of the word retard is to hinder atau to hold someone back. I think your life is about to become retarded.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Down the Drain (#5.2)" (2004)
Greg Sanders: What are anda doing?
Gil Grissom: Good, your here.
[tosses him a plastic cup]
Gil Grissom: Fill this up for me, will ya.
Greg Sanders: With what?
Gil Grissom: It's a urine specimen cup, Greg, what do anda think?
Greg Sanders: [looks at the cup again]
[pauses]
Greg Sanders: Okay.
Sara Sidle: I don't have a death wish, and I'm not a drunk. In case anda were worried.
Gil Grissom: I'm not worried. I'm concerned.
Gil Grissom: That took a long time. anda may need a prostate exam.
Greg Sanders: My prostate is just fine!
[Greg's first autopsy]
Gil Grissom: Take a look at the trachea. What do anda see?
Greg Sanders: Foam... like the head of a beer.
[Grissom looks at him]
Greg Sanders: Sorry.
Gil Grissom: No. It's a good analogy.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Bully for anda (#2.4)" (2001)
Warrick Brown: I thought it was our job to speak for the victim no matter what it took... and to hell with the budgets.
Gil Grissom: Our job is to think, Warrick. Machinery should never matter lebih than our mind.
[investigating a murder in high school]
Warrick Brown: What were you: a jock atau a brain?
Gil Grissom: I was a ghost.
Gil Grissom: Let me guess. Decomp in an enclosed space? Lemons.
Gil Grissom: Sara, do anda have any duct tape in your kit?
Sara Sidle: Yeah. It's what I use to hold it together.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Blood Drops (#1.7)" (2000)
Catherine Willows: How's the little girl?
Sara Sidle: Uh, well, the *shrink* berkata she's in a catatonic state as a result of trauma. *I* could have told anda that. Oh, but she *did* respond to the name Buffalo.
Gil Grissom: Respond how?
Sara Sidle: She freaked out.
Gil Grissom: And, what are doing about that now?
Sara Sidle: Going back to the girl. She's out in the car. The windows are cracked. Hey, give me a little credit, she's at the hospital.
Gil Grissom: This is a Lady Macbeth. "Out, out damn spot!". There's not a trace of blood on the teen daughter's clothing. Not a spot!
Tina Collins: That was the last night he was going to touch her.
Gil Grissom: But why your mother? Why your brothers?
Tina Collins: Because they should have protected me.
Gil Grissom: You?
Tina Collins: I was young. I learned to deal. But when he went after my daughter.
Gil Grissom: Daughter? Who's...
Tina Collins: The father? I was 13 and nobody noticed that my clothes were getting bigger.
Conrad Ecklie: That's a career killer.
Gil Grissom: That's what's so sad, Conrad. anda see this as a career.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Rashomama (#6.21)" (2006)
Hodges: anda know, anda and me, we're not the marrying kind. The intricacies of our nature can never be understood oleh just one woman.
Gil Grissom: Would anda close the door, please?
[Hodges does so]
Gil Grissom: From the other side.
Gil Grissom: "You'd think she'd know better than to wear white on the bride's big day." Spring is but a song/Where cinta and laughter are not wrong/The blossoms of desire do belong/And Harmonia axyridus fly along.
Frank Rosetti: anda want to see a crime scene? I'll tampil anda a crime scene. C'mere, c'mere, look at this, huh?
[shows a smashed wedding cake]
Frank Rosetti: What this woman had against the color peach, I've never seen anything like it. "If anda think you're serving that flesh-colored abomination and I'm paying for it, anda can think again!" Boom! I'm a 42-year-old paisan; she scared me. I wouldn't be surprised if her pantyhose rebelled against her, tied themselves to the car, the dame was a pill. I swear to God, she may have taken two atau three years off my own life. Weddings are a blood, sweat and tears marathon, my friend. I'm on a tight schedule. 12 noon: I got first intro of the couple. 12:30: salad course. 12:45: first dance. 1 o'clock: chair dance, chicken dance, sapu dance - I don't care, I'm equal-opportunity. 1:30: main course. 2:15: first toast, groom's side. If the best man shuts his mouth, at 2:16 we have the first roti panggang of the bride's side. 3 o'clock: we cut the cake. 3:30: bouquet toss.
Gil Grissom: That's a tight schedule. She would have barely had time to go to the bathroom.
Frank Rosetti: I don't sell bridal diapers for nothing.
Greg Sanders: He was kidding about the diapers, right?
Jill Shoemaker: For the past six months she made my life Hell, and so I told anyone who would listen that she should die a fiery death. So now everyone's going to think that I killed her.
Gil Grissom: Would anda like to be lebih specific?
Jill Shoemaker: Okay, well, when we got engaged, she ran into the backyard and she screamed "Why, God, why me?" Okay, she wore white today! She, she, she invited Adam's very, very attractive, very, um, single ex-girlfriends. When she found out I had registered for sporting goods, she went behind my back and she changed the registry to housewares saying I had better learn how to cook! Okay, I'm a vegetarian, and she demanded roast beef! Um, oh and then there's the toast... the toast!
Gil Grissom: Are anda trying to make me think that anda didn't kill her?
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: bulu and Loathing (#4.5)" (2003)
[after finding traces of semen on Bud Simmons' cat costume]
Catherine Willows: Okay, well, I've heard of some guys getting off in some weird ways, but humping an animal suit? Whatever happened to normal sex?
Gil Grissom: What is normal sex?
Catherine Willows: So anda think it's natural for a grown man to only be intimate with a talking animal?
Gil Grissom: Well, Freud berkata that the only unusual sexual behavior was to have none at all. And after that, it was only a matter of opportunity and preference. And evidently, some people prefer the feel of bulu to the texture of human skin.
Catherine Willows: Well, I like hairy chests, but I'm not about to bop a six-foot weasel.
Gil Grissom: Whoa, this is incredibly detailed. Eyelashes, nostrils...
Catherine Willows: Oh yeah, that's what anda see out of. I once dated the Detroit Lions Mascot. Off season. Dutch was his name.
Gil Grissom: The breadth of your social experience never ceases to impress me.
Gil Grissom: Most mammals only copulate seasonally.
Catherine Willows: How boring.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Slaves of Las Vegas (#2.8)" (2001)
Gil Grissom: You're very good. anda could work for me.
Lady Heather: anda want to be my boss?
Gil Grissom: To get to the evidence, we may destroy the evidence.
Catherine Willows: Do anda get these haikus out of a book, atau do they just come to you?
Catherine Willows: I just realized that anda and I have a very healthy relationship.
Gil Grissom: We do?
Catherine Willows: When we have a problem, I don't paint Greg in latex and stick a straw up his nose.
Gil Grissom: Good. He'd probably like it.
Catherine Willows: You're supposed to say something revealing back to me.
Gil Grissom: Okay. I never told anyone this, Catherine.
[screen fades to black]
Gil Grissom: I notice anda have no foto of your family in your office.
Eileen Nelson: I know what they look like.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Cross-Jurisdictions (#2.22)" (2002)
[Catherine returns to Vegas from Miami]
Catherine Willows: Hello.
Gil Grissom: Hey. Nice tan.
Catherine Willows: Nice suit.
Gil Grissom: Yeah, well, I knew anda were coming back today, so I dressed up.
Catherine Willows: Yeah... right...
Gil Grissom: Really.
[Cath looks him up and down]
Gil Grissom: What?
Catherine Willows: Nothing. It's just unusual to... see anda dressed... like that.
Gil Grissom: I had to go to the chief's funeral.
Catherine Willows: Missed me that much, huh?
Dr. Al Robbins: How about Darier Disease?
Gil Grissom: Doesn't that give anda a rash that smells like human excrement? We're looking for something a little sweeter.
Dr. Al Robbins: Tuberculosis victims emit breath that smells of wet leaves.
Gil Grissom: Maple? Ash? Elm? What?
Dr. Al Robbins: I don't know.
Gil Grissom: I'm following my nacino.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Fallen Idols (#7.17)" (2007)
Gil Grissom: Men are never as mysterious as women wish they were.
Catherine Willows: [on seeing the crabs on the sleeping bag] Ugh.
Gil Grissom: anda okay?
[Catherine turns the monitor so that he can see the crabs]
Gil Grissom: Pthirus Pubis.
Catherine Willows: Yeah, crabs. I am buying Lindsey a chastity belt.
Gil Grissom: There's a... hole in the metal to let the urine pass, so theoretically, she could still get them.
Catherine Willows: anda are so creepy sometimes.
Sara Sidle: [about to shave Grissom's face] Do anda trust me?
Gil Grissom: Intimately.
[They wink at each other]
Warrick Brown: What's a fotografi teacher doing touching a student's van?
Gil Grissom: [mock seriously] Maybe she wanted a ride.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Compulsion (#5.17)" (2005)
Dr. Al Robbins: She was raped... The attack was brutal.
Gil Grissom: Aren't they always? I don't know why people think that rape has anything to do with sex.
Dr. Al Robbins: If a guy just wants sex, he can hire a hooker.
Gil Grissom: Maybe he's back in the game again, selling coke to out-of-town businessmen from the comfort and security of his hotel room.
Sara Sidle: So, he takes a break from his job, rapes and kills the vic at another hotel, and then goes back to work?
Gil Grissom: Even cokeheads need a diversion now and then.
Judge Witherspoon: It's one thing to send a print through AFIS, it's another thing to use a "background subtraction algorithm" to isolate the print from a bedspread.
Gil Grissom: It's not my fault that the courts lag behind our technology.
Gil Grissom: anda sniffed it?
[about evidence]
David Hodges: That disgust you?
Gil Grissom: No, actually, it's the first time you've ever done anything to impress me.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Living Doll (#7.24)" (2007)
Gil Grissom: hey Natalie. My name's Gil. It's so nice to finally meet you. I-um, probably shouldn't say this, but I'm a huge fan. I've been a crime scene investigator for 22 years, and worked over 2,000 homicides, and anda are oleh far... the best I've ever seen. I mean, you're such a great artist. And to be so young, and so talented, and... so pretty. I've thought about anda every night for the last nine months. I even tried to do what anda do. I built my own miniature.
[Natalie nods her head]
Gil Grissom: anda saw it? How'd I do?
[Natalie shrugs]
Gil Grissom: anda play chess?
[Natalie shakes her head]
Gil Grissom: I play. It's a hobby. Quiets my mind, anda know? Soothes me. At one point I became so consumed oleh it, that whenever I closed my eyes I could see the chess pieces moving all around the board. I was obsessed with correcting all my bad moves. I wondered if a game could ever be played without a mistake. I'd cinta to play anda sometime. I'm so impressed oleh the way anda embraced your passion. You'd make a great CSI. This last one was brilliant. anda studied our crime scene so well, tracking the car to the junkyard, and then towing it all the way out to the desert where anda knew we wouldn't find it. And then, the way anda killed Sara.
Natalie: [shaking her head] I didn't kill her.
Gil Grissom: anda didn't?
Natalie: [Natalie shakes her head] This is about her. Her, her, her. It's always about her.
Gil Grissom: No, it isn't Natalie. It's about you.
Natalie: [Natalie cuts him off] It's always about her.
[she takes a blade from her mouth and slashes Grissom's throat and watches as he bleeds. Then in a baby voice]
Natalie: Oh sad was the hari for the little bisque doll, for they cut all her stitches away, and found the kursi of the terrible ache. T'was a delicate task...
Gil Grissom: [not cut, for it was all in her imagination] Natalie listen to me. Tell me where she is.
Natalie: For none of the doctor's had ever before...
Gil Grissom: Natalie.
Natalie: ...performed on a dolly's inside...
Gil Grissom: Please tell me where Sara is.
Natalie: ...They tried to re-stuff her, but didn't know how, and this was her wail as she died...
Gil Grissom: [yelling] Stop it! Just stop this!
[shaking her]
Gil Grissom: Tell me where Sara is!
Natalie: ...I've got a pain in my sawdust. That's what's the matter with me.
[voice over, overturned car]
Natalie: Something is wrong on my little inside. I'm just as sick as can be. Don't let me faint, someone get a fan.
[a hand clawing at the ground from under the car]
Natalie: Someone please run for the medicine man. Everyone hurry as fast as anda can, 'cause I've got a pain in my sawdust.
Gil Grissom: My God. She was at the crime scene.
Nick Stokes: So she salvages the car, and somehow gets it out to the desert, and grabs Sara, and puts her under it?
Warrick Brown: I don't get it. What does Sara have to do with bleach?
Catherine Willows: I don't know. This just feels different.
Gil Grissom: It is different.
[flashback to crime scene where Grissom takes a camera from Sara and caresses her arm]
Gil Grissom: This girl holds me responsible for the death of Ernie Dell. I took away the only person she ever loved, so she's gonna do the same thing to me
[everyone looks confused]
Gil Grissom: I found a thriving miniature hobbyist community on-line. Sites where people meet, chat, exchange building tips, daftar stores they toko in.
Nick Stokes: [looking at the miniature of Grissom's office] So that's why anda built this thing? I mean... other then to creep us all out?
Gil Grissom: Somebody likes it cold.
Captain Jim Brass: Las Vegas in May plus global warming.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: No Humans Involved (#5.10)" (2004)
[Sofia thinks aloud]
Gil Grissom: She talks to herself.
Captain Jim Brass: It works for me.
Catherine Willows: Now tell me why anda really stopped by. anda checking up on me?
Gil Grissom: No.
Catherine Willows: What've anda heard? Who talked to you?
Gil Grissom: See? You've been on the job for a week and you're already paranoid.
Catherine Willows: Did anda ever play politics?
Gil Grissom: I once ran for president of the science club in junior high. Mary Hardy beat me out oleh one vote.
Catherine Willows: I'm going to guess that anda didn't vote for yourself.
Gil Grissom: I'm not any good at politics. And it's cost me. It's how I lost Nick and Warrick.
Catherine Willows: Your loss was my gain.
Gil Grissom: Yeah. And at least they're in good hands.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Burked (#2.1)" (2001)
Gil Grissom: It's been 24 minutes, Greg. When's this thing going to be done?
Greg Sanders: Well, with all due respect, sir, it's not a baked potato.
Greg Sanders: Did I ever tell anda I used to live in New York?
Gil Grissom: Is this going to be a short story atau a novel?
Gil Grissom: Would anda mind if I took a picture for my bite collection?
Walt Braun: Whatever rubs your Buddha.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Turn of the Screws (#4.21)" (2004)
Gil Grissom: Albert, dead men don't ride roller coasters.
Gil Grissom: [after a rollercoaster has derailed] Photograph the scene. Bag and tag all the detritus. mesin pengangkat barang, forklift anything bigger than Greg.
Gil Grissom: Bag and tag the detritus. mesin pengangkat barang, forklift anything bigger than Greg.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Leapin' Lizards (#7.22)" (2007)
Sara Sidle: [laying in tempat tidur watching Godzilla together] I always feel sorry for the monster.
Gil Grissom: Then anda better turn it off before they use the oxygen destroyer on him.
Gil Grissom: Did anda know that pigs are very intelligent animals? Right behind chimps, dolphins, and elephants.
Warrick Brown: Ahead of dogs?
Gil Grissom: And certain politicians.
Gil Grissom: Do anda believe that intelligent life exists on other planets?
Sara Sidle: I'm not sure there's intelligent life on this planet; I just was in the barn.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Big Shots (#7.19)" (2007)
Gil Grissom: [looking at a bullet casing] Fifty caliber, casing looks new. I bet it's from a Desert Eagle.
Hodges: atau a coffee shop. I could drink an espreso, espresso out of that thing.
Greg Sanders: This neighborhood rains lead.
Gil Grissom: Yeah, and we have to process every last drop of it.
Greg Sanders: We're going to make Bobby Dawson's perahu payment this month.
Greg Sanders: Open champagne bottle, white powder residue. Think it's coke?
Gil Grissom: [shining his flashlight on brain matter and skull fragments] Well then that must be his brain on drugs.
Greg Sanders: Party till anda drop.
Gil Grissom: atau get shot, which ever comes first.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Recipe for Murder (#3.11)" (2003)
[Grissom and Willows enter a restaurant to investigate the death of one of its chefs. The hostess stops answering a very busy phone and turns to them]
The Hostess: Hi, last name?
Gil Grissom: We don't have reservation. We're here...
The Hostess: [taking back the phone] Party of four? Three weeks from Thursday? Let me see...
Catherine Willows: Excuse me but anda don't understand...
The Hostess: [holding up the phone] No, I'm sorry anda don't understand. Your walk-in's in a very busy night. We're short a chef.
Catherine Willows: We know. He's dead.
Gil Grissom: Not only dead. Dismembered. We're with the crime lab.
The Hostess: [putting down the phone] I'll get the owner.
Gil Grissom: [Grissom to Willows, struggling to remove a dismembered hand caught in a meat grinder] I'm gonna need a hand.
Gil Grissom: [after identifying the dapur pisau used to dismember a chef] "Let us carve him as a dish fit for the gods"
Catherine Willows: I'm going to guess Shakespeare.
Gil Grissom: Julius Ceaser.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Iced (#5.23)" (2005)
Gil Grissom: [Grissom, Greg, and Sara investigate the death of two lovers] "For never was a story of lebih woe than this of Juliet and her Romeo."
Greg Sanders: Found a condom wrapper.
Gil Grissom: So much for aman, brankas sex.
[Sara looks disturbed]
Gil Grissom: And this must be Mr. Billmeyer. I'm so glad he's back.
Conrad Ecklie: Very funny.
Gil Grissom: anda might want to have Hodges analyze that cigar. Oh, and the print tech is free. He could, ah, spray the party hat with ninhydrin.
Conrad Ecklie: I think I remember how to do my job, Gil, thank you.
Gil Grissom: I cinta it when anda wear your gloves.
Greg Sanders: hey Grissom, when anda went to college did anda live in the dorms?
Gil Grissom: Surely, anda jest.
[Sara laughs]
Sara Sidle: anda know they say a BA is worth a million dollars of extra income over your life.
Gil Grissom: Yeah but the present value of college tuition is about the same amount.
Greg Sanders: So you're saying college isn't worth the expense?
Gil Grissom: I guess it depends on what anda learn.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Blood Lust (#3.9)" (2002)
Gil Grissom: [to Warrick] What do anda weigh?
Warrick Brown: Uh, that's between me and my trainer.
Gil Grissom: Do I have to get a scale?
Warrick Brown: A buck 95, give atau take a doughnut.
[Grissom turns to Sara]
Sara Sidle: Don't even ask, I'm not telling you.
Gil Grissom: Warrick, would anda lie down on the floor.
Warrick Brown: I don't get paid enough to play dead.
Gil Grissom: Please?
[Warrick gets on the floor]
Greg Sanders: I'm afraid I don't have time for your humour, Ecklie has a multiple, Warrick tells me his halaman awal invasion is puncak, atas of the heap and I'm still backed up with Catherine's no suspect rape. It's like one servant many masters, anda know what I'm saying?
Gil Grissom: Greg, this is your DNA lab. anda are the master. We serve you.
Greg Sanders: Your stuff just moved to the puncak, atas of the pile.
Gil Grissom: hey Doc, tell me something I don't know.
Dr. Al Robbins: When I was in fourth grade, I dropped karate because some kid half my size made me cry.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Unfriendly Skies (#1.9)" (2000)
Gil Grissom: [the group is re-enacting a fight on a plane, and Grissom is giving everyone their roles] Catherine, anda will be playing Dr. Behrle.
Catherine Willows: Single mom. What an imagination anda have.
Gil Grissom: High altitude enhances the entire sexual experience. It increases the euphoria.
Sara Sidle: Well, it's good. I don't know if it's that good... Cite your source.
Gil Grissom: Would anda hand me a swab please?
Sara Sidle: You're avoiding the question. Cite your source.
Gil Grissom: A magazine.
Sara Sidle: What magazine?
Gil Grissom: "Applied psychodynamics in forensic science".
Sara Sidle: Never heard of it.
Gil Grissom: I'll get anda a subscription.
Gil Grissom: I need to see their shoes.
Catherine Willows: Why are anda asking me?
Gil Grissom: Cause you're the people person, right?
Catherine Willows: Why don't anda tell them that? They're not giving me bubkas.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Bodies in Motion (#6.1)" (2005)
Officer Metcalf: My money's on meth lab.
Sara Sidle: anda know, Metcalf, just because somebody lives in a trailer park, doesn't mean they're a meth cook.
Officer Metcalf: anda guys are a real pain in the ass, anda know that?
Gil Grissom: Get used to it, pal.
Catherine Willows: So anda get the team back together only to break us apart again. What kind of a perverse game are anda playing here, Gil?
Gil Grissom: I'm not a pervert.
[last lines]
Archie Johnson: The tape was pretty mangled. Enhancement and noise cancellation increase intelligibility, but it alters timber and tone. So, I don't know there's any lebih I can do here. anda know, Nick recorded a message on the flip side of the tape. anda think maybe we should
Gil Grissom: [interrupts] No! This is between anda and me.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Alter Boys (#2.6)" (2001)
Father Powell: He needs spiritual guidance.
[Grissom looks at the suspect, then looks at the dead body]
Gil Grissom: Yeah, I imagine he does.
Father Powell: Ah. Then you'd have no problem with my talking to him.
Gil Grissom: It's the 11th hour. I wouldn't expect anything less.
Father Powell: Eleventh hour?
Gil Grissom: When the reality of their actions set in, they usually turn to religion.
Father Powell: Can anda think of a better time?
Gil Grissom: We both have jobs that begin after the crime.
Father Powell: After the sin.
Gil Grissom: Some people would call that a career in futility.
Father Powell: Some call it a vocation.
Father Powell: anda don't believe?
Gil Grissom: In religion. I believe in God, in science, in Sunday supper. I don't believe in rules that tell me how I should live.
Father Powell: Even if they're handed down oleh God?
Gil Grissom: How many crusades were fought in the name of God? How many people died because of someone's religion?
Father Powell: Fanaticism, not religion.
Gil Grissom: Semantics. They're still dead.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Ending Happy (#7.21)" (2007)
Sara Sidle: [after putting her hand in the water] Feels like bath water. It's gotta be ninety degrees. There's no way we're going to get an accurate TOD.
Gil Grissom: Places like this always keep their pools warm, it encourages the girls to swim topless. It's good for business.
[at Sara's look]
Gil Grissom: So they tell me.
Gil Grissom: Where's your coroner?
Sheriff Ned Bastille: Couldn't get him on the horn. Probably out in some barn, up to his elbows in a cow's vagina.
Sara Sidle: Excuse me?
Sheriff Ned Bastille: Oh yeah, coroner's a part time dokar, pertunjukan here in Bryant County. He's a veterinarian. That's his money gig.
Gil Grissom: Twenty-five people here last night, and nobody sees anything.
Tanya: [passing by] Nice hat honey.
Sara Sidle: So, uh, you've been to a place like this before?
Gil Grissom: I worked a murder/suicide at the Naughty Kitty once.
Sara Sidle: No, no. Come on, anda know what I mean.
Gil Grissom: As a customer? No.
Sara Sidle: You've never paid for sex?
Gil Grissom: I have not. I find the whole idea very... bleak.
Sara Sidle: Really? How come?
Gil Grissom: Sex should provide the opportunity for human connection, but paid sex does the opposite of that. To me, sex without cinta is... pointless. It makes anda sad.
Sara Sidle: Well, I'm pretty sure I don't make anda sad.
Gil Grissom: No. anda make me happy.
"CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Butterflied (#4.12)" (2004)
[to the Doctor/Suspect leaving]
Gil Grissom: It's sad isn't it, Doc? A couple of middle aged guys like us, how we never really touch people unless we're wearing latex gloves. We wake up one morning and realize that for 50 years we haven't really lived at all... But then one day, someone young and beautiful offers to share their life with you, someone anda can care about. We have to give up everything we worked for to have them, I couldn't do it... but anda did. And she took that back didn't she? She gave anda something precious then anda took it back. So yo