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Okay so my brother and I were swimming in our pool and suddenly we start talking Twilight.Well, if anda know us then anda know that we stared role playing.Mason REALLY wanted to be Edward so I let him.And I was Emmett. And so I started thinking of a joke paragraph.I REALLY hope anda guys like it.

Emmett's pov.

"Where is Edward?!?", I thought to myself. I had been searching our property for well around 5 menit and I knew he could hear my thoughts.
" Up here Em.", he berkata chuckling from his room all the way upstairs. He knew I would hear.I was still in the forest.I was up and in his room in a record 4 seconds. atau at least record for a human. "jeese Edward!Couldn't have let that go on longer?",I berkata a bit sharply.

"No.I was getting bored.", he said.

"Okay well, let's get down to bussiness shall we? I thought up another way to annoy Alice.", I said.
" I'm all ears."
" Well, I figured out a way to fart!!!How totally awesome is THAT?", I berkata in a rush.
"Very awesome."
Man. Why was he keeping his anserws so short? " So you'll hurry up and tell me how to fart.", he berkata a little impatient. " Jeese.", I berkata again. He sighed. "Alright. So if anda can gulp down enough air and concentrate really hard anda can fart.", I berkata triumphently. "And how did anda come across this?", he berkata chuckling, for he already knew the anserw. "Never mind that", I snapped. Was he doiing his best to irritate me in my moment of glory? " Yes.", he berkata fighting a smile. " Stop that!", I berkata sharply. "See watch.I'll demonstrate.", I said. I took a deep breath that no human could take and took two lebih just to be on the aman, brankas side. Now for the embarrassung part. The concentrating. I balled my hands in fists nd benter. I must have looked like a conctapated kid, because he was on the ground holding his sides and booming with laughter in half a second. "Hey cut it out atau anda won't hear it ", I said. " Oh.I WON'T?", he retorted clearly enjoying himself. But at least he cut it out.Then finally brpf( acak letters =fart sounds, the lebih letters the longer the fart)."Of course I'll have to work on it, but...", I berkata clearly proud. "Oh that's for SURE!!", he berkata laughing again."Let's go practice.", he berkata eager to learn.


*********



"Oh Alice...", we chimed.
"What is it?", she stated obviously annoyed.
"We just wanted to tampil anda something.", we berkata in unison once more. "Oh this aught to be good.", berkata rosalie ,nudging Jasper.We each sucked in a REEEEEEEEALY deep breath. For Alice, Jacob, Carlisle,Esme, Rosalie, and Jasper were there.(Bella and Renesmee were visiting Charlie and amazingly Jacob was visiting me.Or at least staying for the game. Flat screen anda know.)We balled our fists knelt down and...........bfr dfr.And then a thunder storm broke out.Everyone was on the ground rolling, holding their sides and BOOMING with laughter. While we stood there gawking at them. It had taken weeks of hard core practice to get that far, and last time it lasted 20 seconds!!! Even Alice was laughing. "aren't anda the least bit disgusted?!?", I asked. "That.. was... just.. too... funny.", she gasped."Nice one guys!!", joked Jacob. "Man it took 6 weeks to get that far!", I berkata irritatedly. HDSHGHEHRHGHRTGJHDFJGLDFHHTIHRIYTHDSFGHUER!!!!! "And that took about 2 seconds!", smiled Jacob."Well it's harder for vampire to fart okay Mr. Showoff!", I said."OH MY GOD! JACOB! WHAT DID anda EAT?!?!?!?!", laughed Carlisle. oleh now everyone was outside at least 1 mile away from the house.
"Well, Jake. At least anda can annoy Alice.", i laughed as we sprinted from the contaminated house.(Both holding our noses I might add) Just then Alice charges at us staring daggers at Jacob. "You, mutt. come here.", berkata Alice. "No way! I may be half dog but even I'm not that stupid.", berkata Jacob cautiously. "No come on. I'm not going to hurt you.", berkata Alice lebih alluringly now as she flashed one of her smiles that would make any man come to her." That doesn't work on me.", berkata Jake. "Then why are anda coming closer?", berkata Alice still trying to lure him in. "Don't do it jake", I whispered. Jake was still walking closer.... And then he was right in front of Alice. "Oh no, I can't watch", I berkata still watching." anda can't but I can.", berkata Edward chuckling. oleh now everyone was watching.(Even Bella and Nessie, they got back early)Then suddenly, WHACK!!!!! Alice got Jake right on the nose. He jumped and ran for his life. Alice right behind him screaming things like," I JUST WENT SHOPPING THOSE ARE BRAND NEW chanel dresses! NOT TO MENTION ALL OF THE LOUIS VUITTON PURSESAND DOLCE AND GABBANNA DRESSES!!!!!!! AND NOW THEY ARE ALL RUINED!!!!!"she screamed." How much are anda willing to bet he is going to get his sorry pantat, keledai knocked around?", berkata Edward. "50 bucks says Alice will beat him again in the selanjutnya minute?", I said. "Your on.", berkata Edward."Edward aren't anda going to go help him?", Bella berkata worriedly. "Emmett's tougher that I am he can take Alice when she's this mad I can't.", berkata Edward getting a bit worried himself."Ahh. But anda Eddie boy are much faster than I.", I berkata knowing I won. "Edward . Please for me I don't want him to get hurt and you're faster than Alice anyway.", begged Bella." Man how cruel is that making your wife beg. Pathetic.", I taunted."Shut. Up. Emmett.", he growled. and then he left to go rescue Jacob from Alice's wrath." anda know he won't survive right?", I asked. "I kinda figured.", berkata Bella. "hey Bella can anda go make some jagung meletus, popcorn this is going to be good." " But we don't eat popcorn." "Get it anyway." I berkata and sat down to enjoy the tampil just as Edward got socked in the head."Luxury."
Chapter 17: Awakening Nessie’s POV

    My eyes slowly opened. I noticed that I could see a tiny bit clearer and my sense of smell was a little lebih finely tuned. I didn’t feel exhausted atau weak anymore and there was no pain. I looked down in a panic, I was wearing different clothes and my stomach was flat. That is when I realized that I must be dead.
“Renesmee?” Jacob asked his voice breaking
    As I sat up in confusion he was at my side. He was looking at me so strangely.
    “Oh god, did anda die too Jake?” I gasped at...
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Chapter 12: Monster Jakes POV
I felt like I was stuck in a recurring nightmare. Nessie had slept, almost comatose for four days straight. The excited atmosphere in the Cullen household surrounding the arrival of our child was gone. Everyone was silent; the house had a sense of malignancy lingering throughout it. Sam and Emily and my father stopped oleh and kept vigil in the living room. Emily was very helpful, she tended to Renesmee almost daily along with Bella; but she did lebih of the work because Bella wouldn’t set foot into a room that I was in and I never left Nessie’s side.
    The...
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posted by 1twilight_lover
Edward’s POV

About 10 menit after Bella left Alice and Jasper pulled up. ‘Why is Jasper in the Ferrari?’ ‘Where is Bella?’ ‘What took Alice so long?’
“Jasper where is Bella” Emmett asked
“She berkata I could take the Ferrari and she would fix the bike” He answered
“Alice what took anda so long” Rose asked
“I saw Bella, so I turned around to see what was wrong” She said. We started to get the boxes out and after 2 menit when the boxes were out of the car, Bella pulled up. I was amazed she could where stilettos and ride that bike. Alice was just glad she didn’t ruin...
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posted by Bella_Swan3
-Renesmee-

I was now the human equivalent of six months pregnant, and watching a small grey shape moving on a monitor. My child. My little baby.

My mom, Esme, and Jacob were here with me too. Aside from Carlisle, of course.

"There he is. Speaking of which, I presume anda and Jacob would like to know the gender?" Carlisle asked. I didn't immediately answer. I was too mesmerized.

"Renesmee?" Jacob asked me.
"Yes," I managed to say.

"You have a little girl. Well, not yet, but anda will."

A little girl.

Esme sighed contentedly, almost as fascinated as I was.

From downstairs, Alice squealed.

Alice had...
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posted by AdaLove
**Jacob was born to Billy and Sarah Black. Sarah died in a car crash when he was very young. Jacob remembers Bella from when they were younger, though she does not remember him.**

**********Twilight*************

He has a small but very important role in this book. After Bella angsa, swan flirts with him (as a way to get information),
he introduces the idea of Edward Cullen being a vampire oleh telling her Quileute legends. According to Stephenie Meyer via her official website, Jacob was originally just a device to tell Bella about the "Cold Ones".However, both she and her editor liked Jacob so much that...
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posted by renesmeblack
2
Renesmee



How could he? The cinta of my life, now ready to rip the thing I feel I MUST keep away from me. I could hear sobs outside the door. I could hear sobs inside this room. We were both hurt. Before he closed the door, I threw something unthinkingly at him. It's now outside with him right now. It's something that probably hurt him lebih than anything else in the whole world. It was my ring. I was now crying. I felt naked without it. My jantung felt ripped to shreds. It felt like a werewolf clawed at it. It probably looked like the half of Emily's face, only it may never heal.

Jacob

I started...
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posted by twilight-7
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
I half opened my eyes, wondering what the hell was beeping so loudly.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
Was that my alarm? I reached out to turn it off. I didn’t need to wake up; I had no school to go to. I touched a square box that was way too big to be my alarm and didn’t feel like anything that should be in my room.
Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
I opened my eyes fully and almost screamed when I saw where I was. I wasn’t in my room. I was in a room but it wasn’t mine. It was too clean and full of medical equipment. I was in hospital. There was a drip selanjutnya to...
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posted by Bella_Cullen902
Hey!!! This is my first Story so take it easy!! Please comment!! And I'll shut up now!!


I tried to call Jacob today...no luck. I don't know what to do, ever since the Cullens came back he hasn't talked to me. Jake wont answer the phone when i call and when somebody does pick up, Billy usually says that he's not halaman awal atau that he's asleep.

But tody was different. When i called Billy picked up and berkata "Jake doesn't want to talk to right now Bella. Sorry." Then the line went dead.

Edward say not to worry about it. That he'll get over it...eventually.

Me and Edward were in my room. He was laying across...
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It was dark outside, and I was in my room, finishing off some homework. My C.D player was on loud as I worked, but that didn’t matter. I was the only one in. It was late, around 10; 45pm, but I wasn’t tired. Mum and Dad had gone up to Grandpa Carlisle and Grandma Esme’s house to talk with everyone about something important. They had suggested I stay halaman awal and study. It was a huge surprise when Jacob turned up.
“Whoa Jake, it’s you!”
“Oh my God, really?!” he laughed, and I found myself laughing too.
“What I mean is; why are anda here at nearly eleven pm when my parents are out?...
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posted by renesmeblack
15
Jacob





"Helluva way to spend your birthday, Ness," Emmett joked. WHAT?!!! It's Renesmee's BIRTHDAY?
"I'm surprised," Edward whipered across the room to me.
"I was busy!" I yelled back. Renesmee looked at us as though we were going crazy. I got up from the corner I was in and sat selanjutnya to Renesmee. I looked at Edward warily.
"Hey, at least you're not Mark," he said. I laughed and kissed Nessie's nose.
"Okay, we need to figure out how much this vortex'll grow until Mark returns," Heram berkata as he flew back into the room. "Cullens, follow me."
Nessie started to get up. I grabbed her wrist.
"Renesmee,...
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posted by renesmeblack
I flipped open my phone. Alice sounded angry on the other line.
"I saw anda returning to Forks. Why? Bella's jantung won't heal in time. I see her screaming in the night right now. And yesterday I saw her do almost nothing interesting. She DID trip," Alice scolded me.
"Alice, I can't do this anymore. I can't. I-"
"Listen to me right now! If anda walk back into Bella's life, she'll kill herself. I can't believe anda want to go back, like nothing happened."
The line went dead. Most of my weird vampire dreams are reality. Bella screams in her sleep now. She'd kill herself if I ever appear. All my fault....
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posted by renesmeblack
I know most of anda girls wrote your own, I'm doing nothing original, yadda, yadda, yadda. I'm bored and had an idea that's been bothering me. What if Bella went halaman awal crying, instead of trying to follow Edward? And what if Edward was still there? I cinta breaking Edward's heart. Hey, I like Jacob! I can't help it! Anyways, my stories go way off track! ;-)

Now, on to the story!

.
..
...
....
.....
......


Bella was crying. I was going to run, when Bella turned away. She walked silently towards her house. I heard the faint click of the doorknob. Then I was the only one outside. The emotions fell upon me,...
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posted by Bella_Swan3
-Jasper-

Rosalie had been especially difficult to be around for the past few weeks.

When Edward decided to play "Let's make Rosalie really, really, mad, and see if she tries to kill us!", in particular. It was scary enough to make mortals cower in terror.

Edward was stressing over the most baru saja developement; namely, his daughter becoming pregnant with a human/vampire/werewolf hybrid.

Carlisle berkata it would be fine, no reason to worry, *normally indescernable medical terms* and about three months left.

Typical hari at the Cullen residence. anda know, half vamps and manusia serigala reproducing. But...
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posted by Edward_Bella234
I'm sorry that this artikel is really short. I'll post another later tonight.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::



“How are anda feeling?” he asked in that musical voice.
    “Fine” I lied.
    “Hmm, doesn’t look fine. I think your leg is broken but I’m not positive. How did anda injure it?”
    “Well…I slipped out of a pohon I was climbing” I muttered embarrassed to tell him I was a 16-year-old who still climbed trees. I chose to tell him the truth, though, rather than lie because I knew he would talk to...
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posted by _madz_
okay, big news. i have finally made a spot just for eternal night. it has articles, pictures, link etc...
im not forcing anda to join, but it would be great for anyone who is interested. im encourging anyone to add things to the eternal night spot, any ideas are welcome :)

this is part 21, and its a little longer than usual to celebrate the new spot! enjoy :)



“Really?” I managed to get out. “Then what would be your greatest problem? That would make Victoria’s returning for anda seem like such an inconsequential matter in comparison?” I finished trying to hold onto my calm. Werewolves,...
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posted by WritenOnTheSand
"Calm down Rennesme." She says as she softly pushes me back down.

"Mom Where is Jake?" I ask again this time sitting up all the way.

"Honey he is in the other room. Grandpa is taking a look right now." Right as she finishes my grandpa walks in. His expression is grim.

"Whats going on Grandpa, whats wrong with him?" I ask with a shakey tone.

"Bella why don't anda let me talk to Rennesme. Edward is out in the hall." My mother stands up at his comand. My grandpa walks slowly towards me and sits down on the edge of the bed. "Rennesme Jacob is not healing. I think that the injury is so great that...
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Chapter 9: My Futile Attempts to Protect Her (Jake’s POV)

It was the first time ever that Nessie couldn't hold my full attention with her kiss. My mind was racing she appeared to be happy but physically she was a scary sight. Her face was gaunt after a week and a half of not eating atau sleeping right. Her eyes had circles underneath them that were so dark they were almost black; her eyes normally bright and effervescent were dull. She was so weak that she was shaking uncontrollably at times. It was Bella all over again only worse. I now was putting everything that I had on the table. My best...
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Chapter 8: What Is and What Should Never Be

My head snapped up, my attention directed away from the little cherub that I was holding. I met Emily’s eyes; they held a sisterly wisdom to them as if she was prepared to bestow some vital understanding upon me. She took a deep breath, “When Sam and I were dating I was attracted to him of course, but it was vey different from anything that I had ever experienced. It was magnetic, I couldn’t concentrate on anything except for him and he became my entire life. After we were married, we discussed having children and the menit that I got the idea...
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Chapter 3: Feliz Sempre Após Começa Agora
Jake and I had decided to use my 16th birthday presents from my grandparents as well as the Denali coven for our honeymoon. We were going to visit Zafrina. For our wedding gift, my grandparents extended the stay oleh two weeks and Tanya had switched the reservations from a hotel to a private chalet in the rain forest. We got on the plane, hand in hand. I couldn’t remember ever being happier. My family was safe, I was Mrs. Jacob Black, my father approved of it, and Jacob and I were together forever. A smile spread upon my lips at the thought. He looked...
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posted by Doopey
Here is another chapter :D



Chapter seven



Before i even turned around i knew who it was. A growl burst through my lips before i could stop it. The only reason i left was to protect them but they come here anyway.
"What are anda doing here?" I hissed at them through my teeth. My anger was slowly building up.
"Do anda really think i would miss out on a fight!" Of course Emmett was amused oleh the situation. I growled at him.
Then Edwards hands ran down my arms. I knew it was him because of how my body reacted to his touch. I turn round slowly but i couldnt look into his eyes. I couldnt look and see...
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