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Tell the widow that the deceased's last wish was that she make cinta with anda
Tell the undertaker that he can't close the coffin until anda find your contact lens.
Punch the body and tell people that he hit anda first.
Tell the widow that you're the deceased's gay lover.
Ask someone to take a snapshot of anda shaking hands with the deceased.
At the cemetery, play taps on a kazoo.
Walk around tellin people that you've seen the will and they're not in it.
Ask the widow to give anda a kiss.
Drive behind the widow's limo and keep honking your horn.
Tell the undertaker that your dog just died and ask...
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Here is some interesting facts on the people who really have an impact on the world - digital atau not - as we know it.

Bill Gates

1977, the tahun he would have graduated from Harvard if he hadn't dropped out. He was 22 at the time. Bill Gates currently has a personal wealth estimated at a net worth of $42 billion dollars.

The Wright Brothers

Neither of the inventors of the airplane received high school diplomas. Orville, the younger brother, dropped out of high school in his junior tahun to open a printing business. Wilbur completed his four years of high school, but due to a family move, never received...
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posted by Hades_Shadow
For all Wreck-it Ralph fan out there, here is a club I made here to create and play as your own character from any of the games in the Movie! So far we have the Games of Fix-it Felix Jr., Sugar Rush, and heroes Duty! I would have just made a link but it would not add it here, so here it is!

To those who stumble on this article, Welcome! This will be the Role Play for those who cinta the Movie Wreck-It Ralph. This page itself is for anda to game jump. anda can share things with different characters, go try your luck in another game, and mainly to make friends. There will be a couple rules, but...
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posted by moodystuff449
Chapter 6:

An Old Enemy, a New Ally

Though Ashtaroth and I went back and forth on for quite a while, I finally gave in to going to sleep and continuing in the morning. It would have been nearly pitch black if I couldn't see in the dark. I sat with my back against the brick dinding of the alley staring up at the stars. The milky white outline of the Moon stood out completely against the murky ink-black sky. It was a thin crescent moon, as thin as thread. I was up so late that I had actually watched the moon as it traveled across the sky. The air was cold and crisp and every time anda breathed frost...
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posted by samuraibond005
I hate facebook, I hate that game they call 'fart', I hate how my dad had to drag me out to play it, I hate his lack of understanding the fact that I do in fact like talking to my friends online and that I have a reason for it, I hate ignorance, I hate people that have to have their own way, I have being shoved into a corner, I hate my math class, I hate having to walk to school in the cold, I hate the idiots at school, I hate closed minded people, I hate society and I hate the government. But above all I hate a lack of morals. Why cant people just be like they used to, stick to a code of honor?...
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posted by EllentheStrange
1.Go into the restroom,fall into the toilet and scream at the puncak, atas of your lungs TOILET RAPE!
2.Go to the toy section,find a large teddy beruang and start frenching it.
3.Rip apart books,magizines,ect. anda hate.
4.Ask a person if the have ever been toilet raped.
5.Speak pig latin,Russain,German,ect. to the employees.
6.Grap as many balls as anda can and start thoughing them at people.If the get mad say anda were trying to play dodge ball with them.
7.Bring a portable stero and play the loudest most annoying song ever.
8.Slap a acak person in front of a bunch of people and say,"I can not beleive anda cheated on me with that whore" and point to a acak girl.
9.Try selling "chololate".
10.If anda are alone in the restroom,take off your pad and leave it in the sink.
11.If anda are alone and no one is coming to your aisle,take a wizz atau dump there!
12.Scream ABUSE if someone hits,kicks,slaps ect. you.
13.Find fake blood and right on the walls scary sayings.
posted by nmdis
"Last Call"

Hello, hello I'm searchin' for a man
With cinta filled eyes and them healing hands
Hello, hello I've been waiting for so long
Don't disconnect me cause it's my last call

For help...yeah help
For help...

Cause it's 8-9-9-3-8-3-3, come on and listen to me
Take my call, collect my change,
Cause Lord I'm calling on Your name

Don't wanna leave, don't wanna say goodbye
Still fifteen menit for my thrity-five
And where's this good in goodbye?
Cause talking to anda is bringing me...

This life...yeah life
This life...yeah

Cause it's 8-9-9-3-8-3-3, come on and listen to me
Take my call, collect...
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posted by MsMindlessAztec
1. We dont ALWAYS want sex...only sometimes
2. we dont like it when anda tell us wat to do
3. never, ever look at other girls with us...otherwise your kicked out
4. hapus any pictures of ANY other girls on your phones/computers
5. anda need to listen to us
6. if anda going to ignore us at least do a good job at it.
7. dont always say "i cinta you" like 5 times a day, then we think somethings up
8. bringging us to a club and getting us drunk for sex is a bad idea
9. if anda get in a fight, admit that your wrong...we like that
10. never say that your the "king of MY casle"
11. always tell us if your borrowing...
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posted by KateKicksAss
This is a bunch of the funnies FML's I've found on FML lately.
Credit: link

"Today, I went to the film with my boyfriend. As we got to the ticket booth, a couple of girls queued behind us. My boyfriend graciously introduced me as his little sister, and invited the girls to gabung us. We've been together for two years. FML"

"Today, I found out that my dad makes me wear dresses and skirts not because I look pretty in them, but because he was sick and tired of people asking him if I was a boy atau a girl. FML"

"Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the...
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posted by EminemAddict09
Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that anda "like it that way".
Drum on every available surface.
Staple papers in the middle of the page.
Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
Set alarms for acak times.
Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public entirely of "Beeeep Bip...
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posted by milorox18

(X)You cinta hoodies.

(X)You cinta jeans.

()Dogs are better than cats.
It's hilarious when people get hurt.
(X)You've played with/against boys on a team.

()Shopping is torture.
()Sad film suck.

()You own/ed an X-Box.

()Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.

()At some point in time anda wanted to be a firefighter.

(X)You own/ed a DS, PS2 atau Sega.

(X)You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.

(X)You watch sports on TV.

Gory film are cool.

(X)You go to your dad for advice.

()You own like a trillion baseball caps.

(X)You like going to high school football...
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1.Grimace painfully while smacking your head and muttering, "Shut up! dammit! all of anda just shut up".

2.Whistle the first 7 notes of 'it's a small world' incessantly.

3.Crack open your tas kantor, tas atau purse, and while peering inside asked,"Got enough air in there?"

4.Offer nametags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wears your upside-down.

5.When arriving at your floor,grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open oleh themselves.

6.Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call anda an admiral.

7.On the highest floor,hold the door open...
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posted by wild-bby
Round One

It's a Man's world

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened oleh the time she brings it.

Why is Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows men to stand closer to the dapur sink.

How do anda know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with: "A man once told me..."

Why do men break wind lebih than women?
Because women can't shut up long...
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posted by BJsRealm
This world definitely need a single global currency.I hope BTC would become a global currency in the near future.So far,BTC is just a cryptocurrency used only on .onion sites yet someday it just might become the new official global/UN electronic currency.
posted by dooodle
Pick the bulan anda were born on:
(Jan) I partied with
(Feb) I smoked with
(Mar) I kicked
(Apr) I kissed
(May) I fought
(Jun) I died with
(Jul) I drunk with
(Aug) I ran naked with
(Nov) I killed
(Sept) I went into the hunger games with
(Oct) I sung to
(Dec) I robbed a bank with

Pick the hari anda were born on:
(1) Finnick Odair, Sexyness god of panem
(2) Lindsey Lohan
(3) A hobo
(4) Josh Hutcherson
(5) A REALLY pretty girl
(6) An i-Pod
(7) My grandfather
(8) Peanuts
(9) One Direction
(10) A ninja
(11) Death
(12) A gummybear
(13) A corpse
(14) Aphrodite100
(15) Dumbledore
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posted by fiestagirl12345
This is about a 12 tahun old girl named. Taitlen shae Hughes it's a true story. She berkata I wanted to make a difference in the world. She wanted to fight against bullying. She got bullied to. One hari she had the worst head ache she old her mom so she went to bed. She fell into deep ac Oma. She died from a brain hemerage. She was a Oregon doner so she saved 4 people's life's. now taitlen shae Hughes is inspiring to a lot of people,

R.I.P 1999 -2011 died November 24th

If anda want to hear the fuller story go to YouTube and type in taitlen shae Hughes and anda will see a lot if inspiring stories.
posted by canal
My breathing was heavy and I couldn't help but think what's going to happen next. "Aliya I have to talk to you" Jonathan berkata nodding at a pile of rocks. When Lee finally stepped onto the ground it started raining hard. "What is it Jonathan" I ask innocently. He grins a little at the thought of something and I knew it was about me. "Do anda know what he did to you" Jonathan finally asked after many menit of silence. "Who the old man?" I berkata sitting on a big rock. He let out a breathy laugh " old? I thought twenty's were quite young."
My eyes widened "wow." Jonathan sat beside means grabbed...
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posted by invadercalliope
All the things she said
All the things she said
Running through my head
Running through my head
Running through my head
All the things she said
All the things she said
Running through my head
Running through my head
All the things she berkata
This is not enough

I'm in serious shit, I feel totally lost
If I'm asking for help it's only because
Being with anda has opened my eyes
Could I ever believe such a perfect surprise?

I keep asking myself, wondering how
I keep closing my eyes but I can't block anda out
Wanna fly to a place where it's just anda and me
Nobody else so we can be free

All the things she said
All the...
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posted by KitkatKaysa
Your element: Air
Your ruling planets: Venus
Symbol: The Scales
Your stone: Opals
Life Pursuit: To be consistent
Vibration: Unsteady
Libran's Secret Desire: To live an easy, uncomplicated life

Every adolescent Libran's fantasi is to find the Prince atau Princess of their dreams. As their lives unfold, the experiences, false starts, dramas, broken hearts and disillusionment they encounter seeking this personal Holy Grail, often shapes their futures in the most extra-ordinary manner. cinta and love-lost makes a big difference to the Libran although their often happy-go-lucky appearance...
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posted by Kanji
anda turned to see him right there and screamed "what are anda doing in my house?" anda yelled. He just smiled and laughed a little then grabbed your hand,you tried to back away but couldn't anda blinked and then noticed anda were outside. "what? how did i get out here" anda whispered to yourself all the people in hoods started to crowed around anda and the guy that still was holding your hand."looks like we've found a snack" he told the people that crowed around both of you."what?!" anda screamed trying to back away,but his grip on anda just tightened."Let go of me" anda screamed and slapped him, he...
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