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posted by XxLalasaysxX
Here are my daftar of corny jokes. Now i'm just gonna let anda know now i got alot of these from the youtube channel, vlogbrothers. So check them out too. Prepare to laugh.
(Make sure your not drinking anything atau eating anything anda might spit it atau something.)

#1 How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank coffee before it was cool.

#2 Why are celsius and farenheit friends?
Because they're fair-in-height. (I came up with that one :)

#3 Why was the sapu late to work?
It overswept!

#4 Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the teluk, da? they'd be bagels.

#5 What's Michelle Obama's favorit vegetable?
Barackoli (broccoli)

#6 Why does the jamur have so many friends?
Because he's a fungi! (Fun guy)

#7 What do anda call a fake noodle?
An impasta! (Imposter)

#8 How often do i make chemistry jokes?
Periodically.

#9 What do anda call a pencil without lead?
Pointless!

#10 How do anda make an octopus giggle ten times?
anda give him ten-tickles (tenticles)

#11 How do anda make lady gaga cry?
Poker face!

#12 What did Beethoven become when he died?
A decomposer!

#13 What's a chicken's favorit composer?
Bach!

#14 What did one eye say to the other eye?
"Between anda and me man, something smells." (Your nose)

#15 What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"Stick with me man, we'll go places."

#16 What did the hat say to the hatrack?
"Stay here, I'll go on a-head."

#17 Why can't anda hear a pteradactyl use the bathroom?
Because the "p" is silent (the letter p in the name is silent)

#18 Why did the little boy eat his homework?
The teacher berkata it was a piece of cake.

#19 Why did the tomat blush?
It saw the salad dressing.

#20 What did the dog say when he sat on sandpaper?
"Ruff!" (Rough)

#21 Why did the man send his phone to school?
He wanted a smartphone (i came up with that one too :)

#22 How do crazy people go through a forest?
They take the psycho path.

#23 How do anda know if it's raining kucing and dogs?
anda step in a poodle (puddle)

#24 How do anda know if a clock is wise?
It goes clockwise (i thought of that)

#25 How do anda get pikachu on a bus?
anda pokemon (pok 'em on)

#26 Why can't anda dress with pikachu in the room?
He'll pikachu (peek at you)

#27 What do anda call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese (so old right?)

#28 How do get holy water?
anda boil the hell out of it!

#29 What starts with "E" ends with "E" but only has one letter in it?
An envelope, duh xD

#30 Why didn't the skeleton menyeberang, salib the road?
He didn't have the guts to.

#31 What did the ghost say to scare the bees?
"BOOOOBEEES!" XD (please don't yell that if your parents are home)

#32 What does an angry pepper do?
It gets jalepeño face! (All up in yo face)

#33 What do anda call an alligator in a vest?
An in- vest-igator investigator

#34 What's berwarna merah muda, merah muda and fluffy?
berwarna merah muda, merah muda fluff
#34.5 what's blue and fluffy? (Think about it)
berwarna merah muda, merah muda fluff holding it's breath.

#35 What happens when anda drink 7 coca colas?
anda burp 7up

#36 Why can't your nose ever be 12 inches long?
Because then it'd be a foot.

#37 why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle!

#38 Why was the police man in bed?
He was undercover.

#39 what did one light bulb say to another light bulb?
"Watts up?" (You know li,e the watts that are in a light bulb?)

#40 what did the ikan say when he hit a concrete wall?
"Dam!"
LAST ONE!

#41 Why can't anda trust lions?
They be lion to you! (Lying)

Alright so those are my corny jokes. Hope anda liked them. Make sure anda check out vlogbrothers they're really cool. Ciao! And rememeber...
 PewDiePie
PewDiePie
added by tamar20
Source: Desktop Nexus
added by h2o-fen-site
added by TimberHumphrey
video
added by Crazedsitcomfan
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Hi, I'm Steven Ovonel, and I'm here to tell anda about an amazing product called Spamdex. Spamdex allows people to be harassed oleh many acak ads that pop up out of nowhere. We've also created hundreds of AI accounts that send messages to people about products atau apps that they don't want. They also create useless articles, post pointless comments, ruining people's hard work. Let's see what others have to say about Spamdex.

My name is Connor Noiles, and my review on HelluvaBoss was ruined oleh an idiot that diposting a link to a game called Battleship Online. Why would anda do something like that?

---...
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 Cody Leach
Cody Leach
Let's take the "Cody Leach" approach and do the good, the mixed, and the bad..

When I say I have negatives I'm not saying they ruin the show, they are just complaints I have that i do feel I want to address..


THE GOOD:
* Let's just say it, Brandon Roger's secara keseluruhan, keseluruhan prefamance. Not only is he his uaual hammy zany self. But he has a lot "they really can act" moments in the show's lebih serious scenes..
* The shows secara keseluruhan, keseluruhan qulity. anda can tell Viv and the team puts a lot of money into it..
* anda can tell Viv was exploring a lot ideas for Hazbin in this series. From the Heaven episode, to the idea of...
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I do think that anda probably should avoid the following sites I am going to list. I will add lebih to the daftar when I find lebih sites I think anda should probably avoid. So if anyone sends anda link to the following sites, anda have been warned that they could be tricking you. Some of these are obviously bad oleh the name of the link but some of them are very sneaky to trick you.

UNLESS anda ARE A SICKO I ADVISE anda NOT TO GO TO THE FOLLOWING SITES

meatspin.com
fingerslam.com
infoslash.com
wowomg.com
2girls1cup.com
2girls1finger.com
lemonparty.org
goatse.cz
cleangirls.org
salsasnack.com
goatsemarathon.com
biblecamp.info...
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1. malaikat Eyes - call her this name and she'll either think you're lying atau you'll get some action faster than a pit banteng on a t-bone.

2. Baby Doll - is a class girlfriend name so call her this all anda want even if she is the kind who will out chug anda in bir and pull a monster truck over your face on occasion.

3. Bubble Butt - is one of those names anda never, and I mean never call your girlfriend since this will end it all, and there will be no chance in getting back with her even for a drunken 2 am booty call.

4. Cuddle Bug - is one that most girlfriends will respond well to and will be an invitation...
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Good truth atau dare Questions

Truth atau dare is fun, only when all the people involved in the game are comfortable with each other. Here are some questions, which can be termed as good truth atau dare questions, which will help anda to break the ice and ease the environment of a strained gathering.

Which was the most embarrassing moment of your life?

Describe the strangest dream anda have ever had in your life?

What is the one quality atau feature anda would like to change about yourself?

Do anda have a crush on any of your friend's boyfriend atau boyfriend's friend?

Do anda think your boyfriend is marriage material?...
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posted by CullenProperty
1.    Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and presentable girls.
2. Guys cinta flirts.
3. A guy can like anda for a minute, and then forget anda afterwards.
4. When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.
5. "Are anda doing something?" atau "Have anda eaten already?" are the first usual pertanyaan a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.
6. Guys may be flirting around all hari but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.
7. When a guy really likes you,...
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posted by milorox18
1. I cinta the way we finish each other’s sentences.

2. I cinta the way I know you’ll never give up on me.

3. I cinta the fact that I wouldn’t ever give up on you.

4. I cinta the way anda look at me.

5. I cinta how beautiful your eyes are.

6. I cinta the way I can’t imagine a hari without anda in my life.

7. I cinta the way if we were ever separated I wouldn’t know how to go on.

8. I cinta the way we cuddle and watch sunsets together.

9. I cinta the way we sometimes stay up all night and just talk, then watch the sunrise together.

10. I cinta how I know you’ll always be there when I need anda to be.

11....
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1. Angus is for a beefy yet cute boyfriend, atau to bolster up the woefully sagging self-esteem of a weak, pasty face limb noodle who does your homework for you.

2. Babe - is a classic cute boyfriend nickname that will only get anda in a slight amount of trouble in front of his friends. ( i call mine this)

3. Baby Boo Boo - is for a boyfriend that you'd like to castrate slowly oleh giving him effeminate names.

4. Bunny-kins - means you're cousins and will be humping like bunnies at the selanjutnya family wedding.

5. Bunny Wabbit - anda may as well stroke his belly with a coonskin topi and feed him grapes when...
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DEMENTED POEMS

mawar are crap
Violets are shit
Sit on my face
And wiggle a bit

mawar are stupid
Violets are silly
Grease up your flaps
Cuz here comes my willy

mawar are awful
Violets are the pits
Lift up your shirt
And tampil me your tits

mawar make me laugh
Violets make me titter
You're a dirty bitch
And anda cinta it up the shitter

mawar are straight
Violets are twisted
Bend over love
You're about to get fisted

mawar are crap
Violets are wanky
Oooh I've just cum
Pass me a hanky

mawar are red
It's elementary
Let's ring your best friend
And try double entry

mawar are shit
Violets are crap
tampil me your clit
And I'll cum in your lap

mawar are red
Skidmarks are brown
Give me a blow job
And menelan it down

mawar are groovy
Violets are funky
I'm thinking of you
And spanking my monkey
posted by chowjoyi
41 ways to annoy your parents



1. Follow them everywhere.

2. When they say your name, moo loudly like a cow.

3. If anda have a dog, follow the dog around on all-fours and say "Bark." over and over again really loudly.

4. Talk to a pen constantly.

5. When your friends come over, pretend to be talking in code and have your friend say 'Your-a pa smells-a like a woman-a." If they crack the code, play stupid.

6. Have a dozen of imaginary friends that anda ask their opinion of everything.

7. After anda have your bath, membungkus, bungkus a bath towel around anda and then walk outside of the bathroom. When your parents ask...
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I never thought I would be doing a daftar like this because when I do lists based on looks it's on women. As a straight guy, it's easier for me to rank women than men. However, when I put my mind to something I try my best to come through. I had already done this daftar with women and I remember being asked if I would ever do it with men, so here it is. Keep in mind this is all just my personal opinion as a straight guy and it wasn't easy to figure out AT ALL! Please komentar but be polite. Also, always komentar because I worked HARD on this and during a time I had just had laser eye surgery and...
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1.Do not introduce self as roleplaying character in public.
2.Do not talk to fictional characters in public.
3.Do not answer fictional characters in public.
4.Do not talk to inanimate objects in public.
5.Do not go out in public.
6.Disregard above note.Perform numbers 1 to 4.
7.Note expressions.
8.Don't die alone. Take many people with you.
9.Floor is slippery when wet.
10.Lake is slippery when dry.
11.Only talk to strangers anda know.
12.Strangers anda don't know are spies... Kill them all.
13.For legal purposes be sure to hapus above note.
14.Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.
15.Kill...
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posted by Bubblekat
1. Go around stores, pick up items and yell out really loudly "Who buys this CRAP anyway?!"

2. Get a cart, get on the bar below the bar anda grip, and push it down the isle, extra points for running into something atau someone

3. Go up to a acak person and say "you have pretty eyes, may I have your eyes?!" and hear to see what they say

4. Laugh randomly

5. If someones talking on a cellphone Go closer to them and start maki acak noises to disturb them, extra points if they hang up

6. If your near a air mancur run to it and start splashing in it

7. If your mom starts nagging to anda in public about the...
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1. At the movies: When anda meet acquaintances/ friends.. .
Stupid Question:-
Hey, what are anda doing here?
Answer:-
Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet…
Stupid Question:-
Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-
No, not at all, I’m on local anesthesia.. …why don’t anda try again.

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask…
Stupid Question:-
Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-
Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When anda ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-
Is ! the “Butter Paneer Masala”...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
my friend sent me this text message a while yang lalu and i thought it was hilarious!!!




i need to ask anda somethingand i want anda to be totally honest with me. it may be awkward between us after this but i have to kow how anda feel... I've kept it in for a while now but now it's time to be straight up and just confront you. i hope this doesn't ruin anything we have, i just need to know and i dont see any other way i could get over this. it just doesn't seem fair if i dont gett an answer. i want anda to tell me truthfully, please no matter how harsh it is. i just want your hoest opinion...

Pepsi atau Coke?



Ha ha ha ha !!!
Funny.
added by adultswimperson
Source: google