What's the weirdest thing your friend threatened to do to you? (Joking and not.)

For me was when Alex came to my house and let himself in. I was on my tempat tidur membaca yaoi magazines, and he said, "Skippy, keep membaca that kind of stuff and I will have to molest anda with a fork." I laughed so hard I cried. We got together last tahun and it's been the weirdest and best tahun of my life so far. Besides when we got a dog, but...