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Can anda guys read my story and tell me if anda like it, what to change and all that stuff, please?

Chapter 1
Boredom

Thantos was sitting on his bed, continuously throwing and catching his blue foam ball, with his headphones in his ears and musik playing too loud and combing his medium length black hair out of his bright abnormally coloured eyes.
“This is so pointless. I need something better to do,” he said, scratching his extremely pale skin.
Thantos paused his IPod to hear a scream and girls laughing.
“What the- what was that about?” He asked himself, getting up from his tempat tidur and walking to his door.
“I’ll never know if I don’t go check it out,” he smiled.
Thantos walked down his stairs and toward his door and covered his ears as the girls screamed again.
He opened his front door to see a beautiful girl in a solid black bikini and another girl in a purple and berwarna merah muda, merah muda strapless one piece.
“What’s all the screaming about?” Thantos yelled at them, laughing.
The girls screamed, looked at Thantos, then started laughing at there foolishness.
“First tell us who anda are, then we’ll tell anda why we were screaming,” laughed the girl in the one-piece.
“I’ll tell anda who I am after anda tell me who anda are,” Thantos smirked at them.
The two girls looked at each other and smiled.
Both girls held out there left arm, palms flat facing him. Out of nowhere, water came shooting at Thantos, hitting him painfully hard.
“What was that for?” Thantos yelled, clenching his fists, angrily. “And how the hell did anda do that?”
“Because we could. Isn’t that a total ‘duh’ factor?” The girl in the bikini asked.
“And how we did it is none of your damn business.” The other girl scolded.
“Just tell me who anda are,” Thantos said, attempting to breathe calmly and not tampil his anger, but failing, miserably.
“My name is of no concern right now but… I might be willing to tell anda if anda tell me yours. We’ll tell anda why we were screaming and both of our na
 Castalinia posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
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XxKeithHarkinxX said:
nice! now read mine!


He ran his fingers through her long golden hair while staring into her hazel eyes
“You have beautiful eyes,” he berkata softly, his accent still managed to slip through his softly spoken words.
“Thank you,” Taylor berkata with a smile of pure delight.
“But I really should get going,” She berkata gently pulling Keith’s hand out of her hair.
This was not because she didn’t cinta Keith; in fact Taylor loved him with all her heart. It was just everything happened so suddenly. It all started last week in New York City, Keith being a musician had booked a dokar, pertunjukan at Red Stallion Pub, and Taylor being a fan of his, bought a ticket for the show. Everything was going normally, Keith Played a few tunes, how it managed to last 3 hours is beyond me. After the tampil everyone left talking among themselves about the performance. There was only one person that didn’t leave with the crowd, besides the bartenders of course, Taylor stayed to tell Keith that he was an amazing musician and that she had never heard such beautiful noise in her life. Keith was all done packing his gitar up and about ready to leave when he noticed someone still standing there.
“ And why might anda still be here?” his accent wasn’t as thick she thought it would be,
“I-I just wanted to tell anda something,” Taylor berkata shyly.
“What might that be? Is it that you’re my biggest fan and anda want me to marry you?” Keith berkata with a slight chuckle.
“Oh, nothing like that sir!”
“Please, call me Keith,” he berkata as he carefully put his gitar case down
“I’m too young to be a sir!” he berkata with a laugh
“So what did anda want to want to tell me?”
“That anda are the most amazing guitarist and singer I’ve ever heard!” She berkata slowly letting go of her shyness.
“Why thank you! I must say it’s a lot nicer to hear that then it is to hear all that sappy, lovie, fan stuff. anda kind of get sick of it after 4 years!”

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posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu 
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i like it but, what's with your obsession with Keith?
Castalinia posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
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.... ARE anda QUESTIONING ME!?
XxKeithHarkinxX posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
Shadowmarioking said:
Eh. I don't understand why the girls have to be in bikinis...and the story isn't one that's THAT attention grabbing.
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posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu 
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it will be when there's lebih up. it get's a lot lebih interesting as it goes on.
Castalinia posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
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thanks for your opinion though. it is much appreaciated. i will try to improve it.
Castalinia posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
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okay. i'll try to do that.
Castalinia posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
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