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if this was on the back cover of a book, would u read it?

"the world didn't end in fire, though it was a daziling array of light...but it didn't go up in smoke. it did not freeze over, but it shown...it glistened 10,000 times lebih beautiful. no, the world....the earth and everything, everyone, on it....simply...desolved...desolved into a daziling dance of bintang dust of all the warna that made it plus 1,000 more..."
 zutaradragon posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
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KnougeChick said:
I wouldn't. Because the grammar is horrible, the spelling as well. And it really detracted from my understanding of it. I would if it was something like this, I might.

"The world didn't end in fire, though it was a dazzling array of light. But it never went up in smoke. It did't freeze over, but it did shine. It shone ten-thousand times lebih beautiful than a room filled with jewels, lights shining everywhere to further tampil their beauty. No. The world. The earth and everything and everyone on it simply... Dissolved. Dissolved into a dazzling dance of bintang dust of all the warna that could be defined, as well as thousands more."

Based on what I understood from this, that's what I thought was trying to be said.

Though this might be lebih fitted to be a monologue of the main character. atau the prologue. :33
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posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu 
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it IS the prologue, but it would b on the bak cover. btw, my spell check is broke and i don't shive a git about my spelling atau grammer on things like this.
zutaradragon posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
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I'm not attacking you. I'm trying to help you. And as a writer, myself, I've learned not to rely in spell check alone. Because anda could have a sentence where you're trying to say: "They went to their house.", but anda could accidentally type "They went to they're house." Which would be the wrong Their/They're/There. :33 atau something as simple as "You're welcome." anda might type "Your welcome." But that would be incorrect, because I don't own a welcome, right?
KnougeChick posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
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*Sigh* anda keep using all these excuses. And usually anda make up excuses because you're too lazy to do something. Such as editing. And it's so obvious anda don't want critique on this. anda just want people to coklat kekuningan all over it and cinta it and say that it's amazing. anda don't want help improving so anda can become an even better writer.
KnougeChick posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
JadTheWolf said:
Wow that's beautiful. I would definitely read it!
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posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu 
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thx!
zutaradragon posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
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no problem :)
JadTheWolf posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
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no problem :)
JadTheWolf posted lebih dari setahun yang lalu
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