Does my being half naked bother you?

Vampires don’t count as people.
Jacob Black, New Moon, Chapter 13, p.310

HAHA LMAO NICE JAKE!!!

I swear, they’re like hall monitors gone bad.
Jacob Black, New Moon, Chapter 7, p.173

Hehe i got lots

So are you going to be my Valentine? Since you didn’t get me a fifty-cent box of candy, it’s the least you can do.
Jacob Black, New Moon, Chapter 9, p.202

ok i'm done for now i'll be back l8r though! ;)

I run a toasty 108.9.

So, should I tell him you said to butt the hell out?

*life sucks, then you die

You really, honestly don’t mind that I morph into a giant dog?
Jacob Black, New Moon, Chapter 13, p.308

Who’s afraid of the big, bad wolf?
Jacob Black, New Moon, Chapter 13, p.321

Sorry. I don’t have any leeches on my speed dial.
Jacob Black, Eclipse, Chapter 3, p.77

You’re scared of Leah, but you’re best buds with the psychopath blonde?
Jacob Black, Breaking Dawn, Chapter 13, p.247

This one's my favorite (Of course, I love all the blonde jokes he said, not that I don't like Rosalie, I just enjoy it when they make fun of each other):
"Someday, Beauty Queen, you’re going to get tired of just threatening me. I’m really looking forward to that."
-Jacob Black, Breaking Dawn, page 324.

"I gotta say it, Bells. You’re a freak show."
-Jacob Black, Breaking Dawn, page 433.

"Did you seriously just stamp your foot? I thought girls only did that on TV."

* Jacob Black to Bella Swan, p. 119

"The clouds I can handle. But I can't fight with an eclipse."

* Jacob Black, p. 599

Go fetch a space heater. I’m not a St. Bernard.
Jacob Black, Eclipse, Chapter 22, p.489

Lol

You mean, ‘as much as I’d love to kill you, I’m glad she’s warm,’ right?
Jacob Black, Eclipse, Chapter 22, p.497

I’m exactly right for you, Bella. It would have been effortless for us — comfortable, easy as breathing. I was the natural path your life would have taken… If the world was the way it was supposed to be, if there were no monsters and no magic…
Jacob Black, Eclipse, Chapter 26, p.599

awwww poor Jake!!

Jeez, she was running true to form. Of course, die for the monster spawn. It was so Bella.

* Jacob Black, p. 177

It was really too bad couldn't hear Bella's thoughts. Then he'd annoy the crap out of her, too, and she'd get tired of him.

* Jacob Black, p. 251

Bella, things are different with us now, but you’ll always be my best friend, and I’ll always love you. But I’ll love you the right way now. There’s finally a balance. We both have people we can’t live without.
Jacob Black, Breaking Dawn, Chapter 25, p.498

He’s brave. Brave as you are. Didn’t pass out or throw up or anything. I gotta say, I was impressed. You should’ve seen his face when I started taking my clothes off, though. Priceless.
Jacob Black, Breaking Dawn, Chapter 25, p.495

Hey, do you know what you call a blonde with a brain? A golden retriever.
Jacob Black, Breaking Dawn, Chapter 15, p.294

Silently, I lifted my doggy bowl off the floor. Then, with a quick, powerful flip of my wrist, I threw it into the back of Blondie’s head so hard that – with an earsplitting bang – it smashed flat before it ricocheted across the room and snapped the round top piece off the thick newel post at the foot of the stairs.
Jacob Black, Breaking Dawn, Chapter 15, p.304

Lmao my favorite part in Breaking Dawn!!!!!!!!

LOOK DO YOU MIND LEAVING THE STUPID STUFF FOR WHEN IM AROUND?



CHAPTER 16, P.367 NEW MOON

heres one of my favorites:

"Bella is not bait."
-Jacob Black, New Moon

okay and

"Stupid leeches. Think they’re so superior."
Jacob Black, Breaking Dawn

"After a few minutes, he asked, real quietly, if you turned into an animal, too. And I said, ‘She wishes she was that cool!’"
Jacob Black, Breaking Dawn

"If this is how you’re going to react, I’ll freak out more often."
Jacob Black, New Moon, Chapter 7, p.179

"kind is my middle name".jacob black,breaking dawn,chapter 4.

Y love Jacib e Edward

Say what you want, I still think Dracula One and Dracula Two are creep-tacular.
Jacob Black, Breaking Dawn, Chapter 33, p.631